LNH: Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #15NoWait27!!

[Scott Eiler]

... Apparently not!

Scott  8{C>

On 2024-03-24 18:09, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> We'll see if anyone besides those reading from the RACC List Archive 
> can read this.
>
>
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>
>    Issue #15NoWait27!!  (And Maybe #25 Should be 14??!!  Who Knows?!!!!)
> _______________________________________________________________________________
>
> From: Drew Nilium
>
> >"that... that *NAME*!" The Unknown Ninja stood, hands clenching into 
> fists,
> >entire body rigid with rage! "I know! I REMEMBER!" Red light blazed 
> out of the
> >eyeholes of the mask, and he threw his head back and roared-- 
> "ULTIMATE NINJA!"
> >
> >And the invisible barrier expanded outward, pushing back the crimson 
> light! The
> >border between them wavered and wobbled like ballistic gel 
> mid-target-practice,
> >and Nina had just enough time to see the Ninja's eyes widen in fear 
> before--
> >
> >
> >
> >...dust drifted down from the ceiling, settling over the ruined, 
> cratered lobby.
> >
> >Manga Girl pulled herself out of the dent her body had made in the wall.
> >"wha..." she mumbled. "...wha happen? Nina..."
> >
> >And she fell to the floor, alone.
>
> And small shadowy creature looked down at all this and frowned a bit.  
> A ruined, cratered LNHHQ lobby?  That wasn't fun!  And then it snapped 
> its tiny little fingers.
>
> And everything returned to the way it was supposed to be.
>
> And the shadowy creature grinned.
>
>   ** ** ** ** **
>
> "That -- that *NAME*!" the Unknown Ninja said starting to rage a bit.
>
> "Whoah whoah WHOAHH!" said Totally Real LNH Writer stepping towards 
> the ninja with his hands making a calm down motion.  "Let's all just 
> -- calm -- down -- a bit!  Let's not do anything foolish.  Let's all 
> just take some chill pills -- okay?
>
> "Also -- I am a Totally Real LNH Writer!  No, really!  As we speak -- 
> I am totally writing all of this down!  Everything that's happening!  
> Honest!  And so you don't want to do anything crazy like -- uh kill 
> me.  Not that you could of course! Because I'm the writer who is 
> writing all this, so I wouldn't die.  But I'd be really annoyed by you 
> trying to kill me so I might just not finish this story.  And maybe 
> I'd become like a Superguy Writer or something!  And if I stopped 
> writing this story -- that would be it for the LNH and the Looniverse! 
> Yeah!  Because I'm the LAST Totally Real LNH Writer!  The Last One!!  
> No one else is writing the LNH anymore!  I'm the Last One that cares 
> about you guys!  Uhhuh!!  You do something like try to kill me -- 
> well, that's it!  It all goes away!  No More Looniverse!  Every one of 
> you will disappear this time for good!!  FOR GOOD!! So, heh, let's not 
> you know -- kill me, okay, guys?"
>
> "Wait," said the Unknown Ninja looking very intently at Totally Real 
> LNH Writer.  "So, what you're saying is -- if I were to kill you -- 
> Everything would disappear.  We would all disappear?"
>
> "Uh, yeah... I uh... yeah that would be the gist of it.  Heh, now 
> let's..." said Totally Real LNH Writer backing away slightly from the 
> Unknown Ninja.
>
> "Hmm..." And then with lightning fast speed the Unknown Ninja plunged 
> his hand into the Totally Real LNH Writer's chest and pulled out a 
> still beating heart.  Totally Real LNH Writer looked with horror at 
> his still beating heart and muttered, "What a total waste of such a 
> cool exciting new..." and then his body thudded onto the floor.
>
> The Unknown Ninja looked intently at the heart in his hand that 
> eventually became very lifeless.  "No.  The World still seems to be 
> here.  So -- you were mistaken."
>
> "Ohgod no no NO!" said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja starting to 
> really freak out.  "It was his idea -- I mean I mean -- I was 
> brainwashed -- I never wanted to do this!  Please!  You got to believe 
> me!  Ohgod -- the LNH is supposed to save people not let maniacs kill 
> people!  Please!!  Please someone!"
>
> "It's okay -- I'll," said Fearless stepping in between the ninjas with 
> a skeptical tone in his voice, "Try to do something."  He held his 
> fists in a boxing stance.
>
> The Unknown Ninja ignored the two of them and just stared at his 
> bloody hand.  "The Ultimate Ninja.  The Ultimate Ninja -- that's -- 
> that's my name.  But how am I here?  I shouldn't be here.  I was sent 
> somewhere else.  I was free.  Free of this place -- no longer having 
> to do this stupid thankless job.  Free to..."  And then an anger 
> started to emanate from his eyes.  "Some one brought me back.  But 
> who?  Who would dare?!"
>
> Okay, thought the shadowy creature, The Ninja was becoming a little 
> bit too self-aware for its taste.  Let's just return The Ninja to the 
> more fun amnesiac killing machine state.  The creature snapped its 
> fingers unleashing another retcon towards The Ninja.  And nothing 
> happened.  The creature snapped its fingers a few more times.  Still 
> Nothing.  And then the creature could see that The Ninja was looking 
> straight at it.  No, that -- that wasn't possible.  The Ninja couldn't 
> see it?  Could he?
>
> And before the shadowy creature could ruminate some about that, The 
> Ninja's hand lunged through whatever dimensions that existed between 
> the two of them and grabbed the creature and pulled it down to the 
> mortal realm.
>
> The Ninja's hand squeezed tightly around the furry neck of some 
> raccoon looking creature that had a purple derby for a hat and black 
> vest with two R's monogrammed into it.  "You!  You're the one who 
> brought me back!  Why?!!"
>
> "Hey, that's uh... Retcon RACCoon!" said Manga Girl.  "Isn't it?  
> Pretty sure."
>
> The raccoon began to panic and started to furiously snap its fingers.  
> But its powers were no longer working.  But before it could feel the 
> full wrath of The Ninja, some force snatched it away.  The Ninja 
> scanned everywhere -- but the Raccoon was gone.
>
> "Oh, uh, that was pretty weird," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja 
> still hiding behind Fearless Leader.  "Right?  Also, are we done 
> killing people?  I sure hope so!"
>
>       ** ** ** ** **
>
> Credits:
>
> Manga Girl -- Amabel Holland
> Ultimate Ninja -- wReam
> Fearless Leader -- Dave Van Domelen
> Retcon RACCoon, Totally Real LNH Writer, and
> Totally Real Ultimate Ninja are mine.
>
>
> Arthur "And another one..." Spitzer

-- 
-- (signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> ------ http://www.eilertech.com/ -------

Scott was raised as the Last Son of Planet Scottron on Scott Island.
There he learned that criminals are a cowardly and superstitious lot,
especially of Scotts.  So Scott secretly went to Scott High School and
trained himself to become a Scott to confound them.  There he built a
suit of Scott-armor, and was given a mighty Scott-hammer plus an
invincible Scott-shield.  Scott's mighty armament is only subject to
other Scotts.  This is an incredibly common problem, though. So
Scott has to rely upon his Scott-Sense to identify possible danger.

So sayeth Scott.