LNH: LNH: Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #15NoWait27!!

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Mar 24 18:09:37 PDT 2024


We'll see if anyone besides those reading from the RACC List Archive can
read this.


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   Issue #15NoWait27!!  (And Maybe #25 Should be 14??!!  Who Knows?!!!!)
_______________________________________________________________________________

From: Drew Nilium

>"that... that *NAME*!" The Unknown Ninja stood, hands clenching into fists,
>entire body rigid with rage! "I know! I REMEMBER!" Red light blazed out of
the
>eyeholes of the mask, and he threw his head back and roared-- "ULTIMATE
NINJA!"
>
>And the invisible barrier expanded outward, pushing back the crimson
light! The
>border between them wavered and wobbled like ballistic gel
mid-target-practice,
>and Nina had just enough time to see the Ninja's eyes widen in fear
before--
>
>
>
>...dust drifted down from the ceiling, settling over the ruined, cratered
lobby.
>
>Manga Girl pulled herself out of the dent her body had made in the wall.
>"wha..." she mumbled. "...wha happen? Nina..."
>
>And she fell to the floor, alone.

And small shadowy creature looked down at all this and frowned a bit.  A
ruined, cratered LNHHQ lobby?  That wasn't fun!  And then it snapped its
tiny little fingers.

And everything returned to the way it was supposed to be.

And the shadowy creature grinned.

  ** ** ** ** **

"That -- that *NAME*!" the Unknown Ninja said starting to rage a bit.

"Whoah whoah WHOAHH!" said Totally Real LNH Writer stepping towards the
ninja with his hands making a calm down motion.  "Let's all just -- calm --
down -- a bit!  Let's not do anything foolish.  Let's all just take some
chill pills -- okay?

"Also -- I am a Totally Real LNH Writer!  No, really!  As we speak -- I am
totally writing all of this down!  Everything that's happening!  Honest!
And so you don't want to do anything crazy like -- uh kill me.  Not that
you could of course!  Because I'm the writer who is writing all this, so I
wouldn't die.  But I'd be really annoyed by you trying to kill me so I
might just not finish this story.  And maybe I'd become like a Superguy
Writer or something!  And if I stopped writing this story -- that would be
it for the LNH and the Looniverse!  Yeah!  Because I'm the LAST Totally
Real LNH Writer!  The Last One!!  No one else is writing the LNH anymore!
I'm the Last One that cares about you guys!  Uhhuh!!  You do something like
try to kill me -- well, that's it!  It all goes away!  No More Looniverse!
Every one of you will disappear this time for good!!  FOR GOOD!! So, heh,
let's not you know -- kill me, okay, guys?"

"Wait," said the Unknown Ninja looking very intently at Totally Real LNH
Writer.  "So, what you're saying is -- if I were to kill you -- Everything
would disappear.  We would all disappear?"

"Uh, yeah... I uh... yeah that would be the gist of it.  Heh, now let's..."
said Totally Real LNH Writer backing away slightly from the Unknown Ninja.

"Hmm..." And then with lightning fast speed the Unknown Ninja plunged his
hand into the Totally Real LNH Writer's chest and pulled out a still
beating heart.  Totally Real LNH Writer looked with horror at his still
beating heart and muttered, "What a total waste of such a cool exciting
new..." and then his body thudded onto the floor.

The Unknown Ninja looked intently at the heart in his hand that eventually
became very lifeless.  "No.  The World still seems to be here.  So -- you
were mistaken."

"Ohgod no no NO!" said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja starting to really
freak out.  "It was his idea -- I mean I mean -- I was brainwashed -- I
never wanted to do this!  Please!  You got to believe me!  Ohgod -- the LNH
is supposed to save people not let maniacs kill people!  Please!!  Please
someone!"

"It's okay -- I'll," said Fearless stepping in between the ninjas with a
skeptical tone in his voice, "Try to do something."  He held his fists in a
boxing stance.

The Unknown Ninja ignored the two of them and just stared at his bloody
hand.  "The Ultimate Ninja.  The Ultimate Ninja -- that's -- that's my
name.  But how am I here?  I shouldn't be here.  I was sent somewhere
else.  I was free.  Free of this place -- no longer having to do this
stupid thankless job.  Free to..."  And then an anger started to emanate
from his eyes.  "Some one brought me back.  But who?  Who would dare?!"

Okay, thought the shadowy creature, The Ninja was becoming a little bit too
self-aware for its taste.  Let's just return The Ninja to the more fun
amnesiac killing machine state.  The creature snapped its fingers
unleashing another retcon towards The Ninja.  And nothing happened.  The
creature snapped its fingers a few more times.  Still Nothing.  And then
the creature could see that The Ninja was looking straight at it.  No, that
-- that wasn't possible.  The Ninja couldn't see it?  Could he?

And before the shadowy creature could ruminate some about that, The Ninja's
hand lunged through whatever dimensions that existed between the two of
them and grabbed the creature and pulled it down to the mortal realm.

The Ninja's hand squeezed tightly around the furry neck of some raccoon
looking creature that had a purple derby for a hat and black vest with two
R's monogrammed into it.  "You!  You're the one who brought me back!
Why?!!"

"Hey, that's uh... Retcon RACCoon!" said Manga Girl.  "Isn't it?  Pretty
sure."

The raccoon began to panic and started to furiously snap its fingers.  But
its powers were no longer working.  But before it could feel the full wrath
of The Ninja, some force snatched it away.  The Ninja scanned everywhere --
but the Raccoon was gone.

"Oh, uh, that was pretty weird," said The Totally Real Ultimate Ninja still
hiding behind Fearless Leader.  "Right?  Also, are we done killing people?
I sure hope so!"

      ** ** ** ** **

Credits:

Manga Girl -- Amabel Holland
Ultimate Ninja -- wReam
Fearless Leader -- Dave Van Domelen
Retcon RACCoon, Totally Real LNH Writer, and
Totally Real Ultimate Ninja are mine.


Arthur "And another one..." Spitzer
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