LNH: Leadership Cry.sig: Net.ropolis 2023 #14.26: "A Totally Real Epilog! ¿¡Dos Ninjas en un Esfera de Nieve!?"

[Drew Nilium]

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   Issue #14.26: "A Totally Real Epilog! ¿¡Dos Ninjas en un Esfera de Nieve!?"
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Nina didn't know how long she'd been running.

Running and hiding, dodging and darting, leaping, looking, not seeing but
sensing her pursuer, as they herded her deeper into the complex network of
sewers, flood diversion channels, maintenance tunnels, abandoned subway lines,
fallout shelters, historical catacombs, LARPer dungeons, and mole people
habitats that ran beneath Net.ropolis.

Every time she tried one of the foolproof ninja escape techniques that flooded
into her mind via the Super Ninjamorpher, it had ended up with her inches from
capture and heading deeper into the tunnels. So she'd started drawing on her
own knowledge - not just her childhood ninja training, but the arts of
misdirection she'd learned in her pre-LNH part-time job as a stage magician,
and the "don't see me" skills she'd gotten kissing girls behind the bleachers
in high school. And it was working, she could tell she was moving gradually
upward, towards the top levels, despite all her enemy's attempts to box her in.

She knew she was close to one of the Shadow People's hideouts; she recognized
the subtle spraypainted signals that they used to guide each other. If she
turned down this tunnel, if she looped around to throw off her pursuer for half
a minute, if she leapt off the walls of this access shaft--

There, a half-circle of light-- there, a silhouette standing in it, someone she
could call out to for help--

The silhouette turned--



And Nina stepped out into the lobby of the LNHQ, where the Ultimate Ninja was
celebrating their victory!

Wasn't he? Didn't she? Well, she was confused for a bit, but once he and his
Writer friend explained what Amnesia had done, everything made sense again! And
that must also be why she felt like she was in a daze, and why her ninja senses
were telling her something was wrong...

Well, if it didn't sort itself out soon, she was sure her uncle could help her
out with it. "Hey," she said to him, with a kind of smile she hadn't worn in a
long time, "can I still call you Uncle Grumpy?"

"Oh, uh, sure," said the totally real Ultimate Ninja. "Because you used to do
that all the time, before I went away, haha!"

"Yeah, back when I was just a little girl." And she felt a little like one, and
that was nice, and her doubts pulled back just a little.

"Right, back then. So, you remember that ninja gold I used to have, if you know
where it is now--"

"...yeah?" He'd stopped mid-sentence, and started staring. Nina followed his
line of sight to the big glass doors of the lobby... and saw the thing that had
come thru them. Something awful. Something eldritch, like a living body horror--
and it was *talking*!

"Hey, everybody!" The wretched thing bounced around cheerfully, blood spraying
over the walls and floor. "It's your old pal, Throbby the Talking Severed Heart!
Gosh it's good to be back in the LNHHQ!"

"...what the *hell*," murmured the Ultimate Ninja.

"And hey, here comes *my* old pal!"

With a KRRESH! the doors of the lobby exploded inward, and a trio of figures
rolled in, one in orange, one in pink, and one in black!

The one in orange - a highly professional woman in an equally professional suit,
other than its color - rose first, pulling out a highly professional handgun
and unloading it into the figure in black! But that one's body seemed to twist
impossibly, bullets embedding themselves in bare floor, and he stood and
snarled - and the shock was so great that Nina felt like one of the bullets
must have hit her, for he looked just like-- the Ultimate Ninja!

In fact, he looked more like the Ultimate Ninja than the man beside her, who
was staring, stupefied... no, no! This must be that Unknown Ninja that they'd
been tracking down, before... before...

The figure in pink kicked off the floor, doing a backflip and landing next to
Nina. It was Manga Girl, and she gave Nina a friendly wave before leaping back
in with a focused punch.

The totally real Ultimate Ninja finally found his voice. "Who-- what!?"

"The Unknown Ninja," said Nina, drawing her katana, focusing, breathing deep to
clear her head.. "Some strange being. Running around pretending to be you. Or
something." Who was pretending to be who? Pulses of pain ran along her temples
with each heartbeat.

"Oh no... Oh no!" That totally real Writer had was there, and was clutching at
the Ultimate Ninja, and staring at the Unknown. "It's *here*... it's here and
we're gonna die..."

A certainty flared in the back of Nina's brain, and she grabbed onto it like a
life preserver. She couldn't let her uncle die! She leapt at the Unknown Ninja,
focusing a perfect flying kick to take off his head in one go--

And he caught her ankle and swung her around and tossed her across the room,
and she landed, hard, against the wall.

"...ow." This wasn't right, even with the power of the Super Ninjamorpher her
head wasn't clear, something was *wrong*...

Manga Girl landed lightly next to her, helping her up. "You okay?"

"Not really. But that doesn't matter right now." Deep breaths. "We've got to
stop that thing."

"LNHers." The orange-suited woman was there, reloading. "Flank the target and
it can be eliminated." She charged back in.

Nina didn't like being ordered around, but it was a solid tactical idea, and
she was too foggy to come up with anything else. Manga Girl nodded, and they
split, one going left, the other right.

The Unknown Ninja whirled and struck out at Nina; Manga Girl kicked out at him;
he spun and blocked it; Nina took a swipe with her katana. They herded him back,
as the orange-suited woman took aim...

His hands flashed out and a cloud surrounded him-- a cloud of deadly Ninja Bush,
scattering in all directions! All three of his opponents spun and twisted and
dodged just to keep from being ripped to shreds! One bit of bush struck the
orange-suited woman's gun, knocking it to the floor and setting it off, a
bullet whizzing past the Totally Real LNH Writer's ear!

"Oh my god!" He gripped the Totally Real Ultimate Ninja's sleeve, and clutched
at his Nobel Prize like it would save him. "Don't you understand? This is
because we killed that guy! We killed him and took his magic! And now--" He let
out a deranged giggle. "Now we're being punished! We're being *slaughtered*!"
His voice rose shrilly. "Magic demands a price! MAGIC DEMANDS A PRICE!!"

The Ninja slapped him. "Get ahold of yourself, man!" He spun around to face the
Unknown Ninja, and drew-- tugged-- pulled-- tugged again-- *drew* his katana.
"Nobody can slaughter me! Because I am, now and forever, the *totally real*--"
He held the katana up in the air, and his eyes glowed red! "ULTIMATE NINJA!"

A sphere of crimson light surrounded him, expanding, and where it touched
everything seemed more solid, more real-- it passed over Nina and the pain
subsided, it felt like she was *supposed* to be there...

And it expanded out to engulf the Unknown Ninja-- but couldn't touch him!
Around that false ninja was some kind of resistance, some kind of invisible
barrier, a halo of Unbeing that held back the reality of the totally real
Ultimate Ninja!

"that... that *NAME*!" The Unknown Ninja stood, hands clenching into fists,
entire body rigid with rage! "I know! I REMEMBER!" Red light blazed out of the
eyeholes of the mask, and he threw his head back and roared-- "ULTIMATE NINJA!"

And the invisible barrier expanded outward, pushing back the crimson light! The
border between them wavered and wobbled like ballistic gel mid-target-practice,
and Nina had just enough time to see the Ninja's eyes widen in fear before--



...dust drifted down from the ceiling, settling over the ruined, cratered lobby.

Manga Girl pulled herself out of the dent her body had made in the wall.
"wha..." she mumbled. "...wha happen? Nina..."

And she fell to the floor, alone.

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Drew "and what comes next...?" Nilium