LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #314: Leadership Crisis Part Two
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Jan 14 13:17:00 PST 2024
And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
You'd think this would be in the Ultimate Ninja or LNH Series
folder, but nope -- it's here in Misc folder:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Misc/
So, here's the Leadership Crisis crossover with Martin Phipps's
LNH Series and Raymond "wReam" Bingham's Ultimate Ninja series
(with some behind the scenes editing work by Todd "Scavenger"
Kogutt)!
And now Ultimate Ninja #4 by Raymond "wReam" Bingham! Will
RosterwReam ever find out what the 'R' in DRH stands for?!
How will the Ultimate Ninja take it that everyone thinks he
sucks as a leader?! And does Bandwagon Chick dig Parking
Karma Kid's muscles?!! And -- oh yeah -- the traitor --
will it be obvious or really obvious who it is?!!!
Find out in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #314
=====================
Leadership Crisis Part Two
=====================
Ultimate Ninja #4 -- Grasping at the Conch.
Ultimate Ninja surveyed the damage. It was the same scenario he had
played over and over again. This time something faded. He had managed to
kill the entire LNH in less than 2 minutes, but something was helping him.
There was corruption in the air. Ultimate Ninja panted a bit as he
sheathed his spotless shiny ginsu cancutting katana blades. Even though
he had just finished wiping out the LNH he didn't have a single blood
stain. It was one of those side effect powers that UN had earned by right
of his powers.
Until now. Ultimate Ninja looked at his suit. It was covered in
blood. He jerked back in a shock, but the blood began to poor from the
suit. Ultimate Ninja drew back in horror, shaking the blood as it spread
across his body like fire. Just then a pile of body parts moved and
animated, up from the heap rose a familiar sight.
"Noooo! You are gone! Dead!" Ultimate Ninja drew away in terror
from the sinister apparition. "Acton Lord! You are dead!"
"Ultimate Ninja. You have practiced well. The LNH is all dead and
you will enjoy the fruits of your victory." Acton Lord smirked sinisterly
like he had done so many times when he was alive.
Ultimate Ninja drew back in a fit of fear. "No! It is to prepare
myself for the traitor! I will not be caught unawares!" Ultimate Ninja
tried to explain. Ultimate Ninja began to gather his strength again, he
had destroyed this villain only when he was calm and ready for him.
Nothing that Acton Lord could say could make him weak unless he let it.
"Has it ever occurred to you, that you are the traitor?" Acton Lord
accused. Ultimate Ninja buckled under the attack.
"Noooooooo!"
Ultimate Ninja opened his eyes to see... nothing. He was still in
the Perilroom, but the image of Acton Lord had evaporated as he looked on.
Contraption Man and Myk-El came bursting into the room, as the room
returned to its normal look, and the mangled bodies disappeared in a
techno blitz evaporation as they were created.
"Boss! Are you alright?!" Contraption Man said with wonder. "I
just can't understand it! I thought I had all the bugs out, but recently
the PerilRoom has been acting up again."
"You mean to tell me that was a glitch in the system!?" Ultimate
Ninja asked in disbelief. It was too real. Someone had to be behind it.
"It had to be! There is no program under that name and your Acton
Lord Combat simulation remained locked through your entire ordeal."
Contraption Man tried to explain. "I finally had to reboot the entire
program drive!"
"Who would do such a thing! I think it was an accident! No one we
know is capable of such tampering except maybe you, Multi-Tasking Man and
Captain CoreDump." Myk-El tried to reason out the possibilities, but they
seemed very unsatisfactory. "I suppose Acton Lord might could do it, but
he's dead, right?"
"No." Ultimate Ninja frowned. The answer to which question was
lost in the ambiguity of the situation. "Whomever is responsible may lead
us to who the traitor is. We must ferret out the one who will eventually
betray us all."
CheeseCake-Eater Lad, Parking Karma Kid and Cannon Fodder poked
their heads around the open door to the PerilRoom. "Hey UN, Are you ready
to teach our self defense class?"
Ultimate Ninja who was deep in thought nodded and the three entered
the room. "Start by stretching out, and remember that tranquil
meditation."
The three began to stretch. Ultimate Ninja scolded himself. I
should take my own advice! I should relax, and do my best, only then can
I be ready for the threats ahead. Gotta get back to practice, UN thought.
Something was still missing: three of his pupils!
"Where are BadTiming Boy, Procrastination Boy and Squid Boy?"
Ultimate Ninja asked CheeseCake Eater Lad.
"Oh, well let me see... Umm BadTiming Boy is having second thoughts
about you being the leader, especially after you ignored his claims that
they ran into the Legion of Net.Villains."
"Oh and you believe them!?" Ultimate Ninja said appalled.
"Squid Boy has gone out with BandWagon Chick to get some Sushi
at 'Sushi Bell'. He has been trying really hard to get to know her
better,
and some other LNHer has been pursuing her about every other moment!"
CheeseCake Eater shot an accusing glance at Parking Karma Kid who blushed,
and then stretched his leg over a handrail.
"Ahhh! I can't help it if women find me irresistible!" PK Kid said
smiling.
"Hah! She only likes you cuz you're the only one who can find a
place park her BandWagon!" Myk-El said accusingly.
"Nu-uh! You take that back!" PK Kid jumped into a Martial stance
and made a ninja battle cry. "AOOOOAAHHWUUUAA-HAH!"
Myk-El sidestepped a rampaging PK-Kid who went plowing into Cannon
Fodder. Ultimate Ninja buried his face in his hands, shaking his head in
disgust. PK Kid was definitely not learning all that he should in these
lessons, and Cannon Fodder, try as he might was still a human target. It
was a seemingly hopeless task to teach these kids anything, but perhaps it
will sink in somehow. After all, if Ralph Macchio could learn to be a
Karate Master, it should be easy for him to teach these three to do
Martial arts, at least that was the theory.
"Oh and Procrastination Boy is cramming for a final."
"Gee. I would have thought he would have put that off!"
"Well he did. His final starts in 20 minutes, and he hasn't studied
for the entire course." CheeseCake-Eater Lad smiled contently. "I
suppose he has been putting off this class for quite sometime as well. He
will probably start 'officially' after a week or so of putting it off."
"The fool. Doesn't he know how important it is he be ready to
protect himself!? I mean if he really ran into the Legion of Net Villains
he will be dead in a second, without some ability to save himself."
Ultimate Ninja grumbled.
"Well, he might be avoiding you for another reason." Myk-El said
calmly.
"And what is that?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
"Well, if you really wish to know, I can tell you, but you gotta
promise to not get mad." Myk-El said cautiously.
"Why would I hurt you!? Of course I won't! I promise."
"Well there are some in the Legion who do not respect your
leadership." Myk-El said backing up. "Ever since Continuity Champ died
and Rebel Yell appointed you acting leader, well, there has been a lot of
instability going around. Frankly some do not feel you can lead!"
Ultimate Ninja frowned. This was his suspicion. All the secret
scowls and murmuring behind his back. They had not gone by unnoticed.
"Well until we have another leader we will just deal with this as it
comes..." Ultimate Ninja spurted trying to ignore the problem.
"We have a lesson here. Myk-El you are free to stay if you wish,
otherwise please leave us to this lesson."
* * * * * * * * *
RosterwReam sat in the main computer room bored with an
equally bored Multi-Tasking Man. Multi-Tasking Man was busy repairing
and reinstalling the computer software that had been so
recently trashed, playing Net.Trek, writing a text editor in YMP Cray
machine language, watching the perimeter alert, watching the parameter
alert and causing a flamewar in comp.ai.nueral-nets, so even MT-Man was
pretty bored and not busy either.
"Ha-Ha. I just love placing strings about the superiority of
expert systems in the neural nets newsgroup. They just go bananas when
anyone suggests that neural nets are a lousy form of Artificial
Intelligence!" MT-Man mused to completely distracted RosterwReam.
"Yeah, I bet." RosterwReam answered, not understanding a single
word. He was having enough difficulties learning the new computerized
roster format. His mind was wandering again. RosterwReam didn't want
to be in charge of the roster anymore.
I should be out fighting evil! RosterwReam thought. I never do
anything!
"Hey! RosterwReam, can you go get me another box of disks?"
MT-Man asked.
"Yeah, I bet." He moved a mouse around on the screen blankly.
"RosterwReam?" MT-Man turned toward the distracted roster
sidekick. "Earth to RosterwReam!"
"Huh?" RosterwReam turned realizing he was in a trance, he tried
act like he knew what he was doing. He didn't. "I'm sorry? What did
you want?"
"More disks?"
"Ummm. Where do you keep them?"
"By that locked door that never opens, you know, the one with the
three letters DRH on it."
"Oh. Yes, the quarters of Serious Writer (tm). He claims to have
nothing to do with us! He's a serious writer!" RosterwReam said getting
up and heading for the closet of where the disks were held. "Drat! I
forgot to put him on the roster as well!" He cursed. I wonder what DRH
stands for? RosterwReam thought back to an explanation that List Lad had
told him once. I think the R stands for Rogue-lover, if I recall
correctly.
* * * * * * * * *
"Hey, Myk-El! Is that you back there?" Contraption Man called
out from under a panel he was tinkering under in the main control room of
the PerilRoom.
"Yeah. Ultimate Ninja is getting a bit feisty. I just told him
how you guys think he sucks as a leader." Myk-El said convincingly. "You
need some help?"
"Sure I could use some help." Contraption Man said smiling. "So
why would you tell him that about his leadership?"
"Well its true!"
"OH I don't think he is that bad. He is just a bit new."
Contraption Man said defending UN just for kicks. "Besides, if you guys
don't like him as leader, why don't you get another one?"
"Can we do that?" Myk-El rested his chin on his fist in a thinker
position. "You know, even though he isn't as good as Rebel Yell, he is
probably the most qualified to lead the LNH. What with RL, LG and CC all
gone."
"Well he is at that." Contraption Man said. "Perhaps you ought
to put more faith in him. I mean he is the only one around here who even
worries about all of your well-fare! Especially when there is a traitor
abroad."
"What!? You mean you don't think he is the traitor?" Myk-El's
jaw dropped in amazement. "I thought you had it all figured out."
"Nah. He in fact is the only one worried about it. I think it
is too obvious that he could be the traitor. I just don't believe he
could be it. Besides, He is just too popular to be the traitor, unstable
as he is."
"So who do you think it is?" Myk-El perked up.
"Oh. Well its gotta be someone that we wouldn't suspect. But its
gotta be someone powerful enough to wipe us all out. It must be someone
who has betrayed the LNH cause. Someone who is secretly thinking that he
is fooling us all with his snide and shifty mannerisms."
"WELL I can't imagine who else could be the traitor!?" Myk-El
squinted sinisterly. "Who could it be?"
"Well I have it narrowed down to a few LNHers..." Contraption Man
smiled pondering his mental list.
"Like who?" Myk-El slid forward in his seat.
"Well it could be Spelling Boy, he has had a chip on his shoulder
since he was torn apart by Professor Perhap's wolves... Or MultiTasking
Man, he wanted to get rid of me... Or perhaps Lost Cause Boy, except that
he is dead, you remember the Woody scandal... Or maybe Deja Dude or
Cliche Dude, just because it is one of those cliched things that has been
done before." Contraption Man rattled off a list. "... or PLOT KING or
Allusion Lad, or maybe Kid Kirby..."
"You don't have a clue." smiled Myk-El contently. Myk-El rested
his hand on the main controller of the PerilRoom. Below the cries of of
Parking Karma Kid, CheeseCake Eater Lad and Cannon Fodder were heard.
They were trying to break boards. The Control Booth overlooked the
comical scene. PK Kid smacked the wood then yelped in pain, as the 1/4th
inch board stayed serene and unblemished by the PK Kid attack. Even so
Myk-El looked up and walked out of the PerilRoom as if he had something
else to do.
"... or it could be you ..." Contraption Man muttered under his
breath. "... traitor ..."
* * * * * * * * *
RosterwReam reentered the computer room only to find it empty.
Strange. MT-Man never leaves this room. He must have had to go
to the rest room. That is about the only time I see him leave the
computer
lab. He probably wouldn't leave to do that except for the few female
characters running around here.
RosterwReam sat the box of disks at MT-Man's vacant post. Just
then the computer fired up another graphics fix. The screen whirred up
again.
"There goes that uplink to DRIZZTSAT again. Sheesh! What does
that have to do with anything?!" RosterwReam said aloud to provide some
variation on his communications. "I wonder if I can keep the link going."
RosterwReam was not computer illiterate. Before his conception
he was one with Captain CoreDump. In fact he most of the time acted like
he didn't know what he was doing so that others would do the job for him,
but there was no one around to get him to establish the uplink so he sat
back and began to tamper with the satellite linkup interface.
RosterwReam tracked the fleeting signal which attempted to break
contact with the combeam. RosterwReam congratulated himself on his
accomplishments. This was the most fun he had had in days.
All of a sudden numbers and information began to poor in.
Recognizing it was a video signal, he diverted the information influx to
the monitor. RosterwReam gasped at what he saw. It was everything he had
done within the last month or so! Not to mention the rest of the LNH.
Someone has us all on tape! RosterwReam though mouth agape.
RwR adjusted the tape monitor tracking. The signal was encoded on
a transdimensional axis shifter. The main computer did most of the work
but RosterwReam had definately stumbled across something that was
mysterious. The view screen showed MT-Man. He was just leaving the
little heroes room!
"Yikes! He'll kill me if he sees I have been tampering with his
set-up. Gotta break the connection!" RosterwReam jumbled nervously
across the keyboard. He could never type well under pressure. Every
command was typed wrong, and had to be retyped.
"What are you doing in here!?" fumed MT-Man. "You are not
supposed to be touching anything in here!"
RosterwReam jumped at the sudden entry, banging his hands clumsily
across the keyboard and into the transmatter control switches. Just then
the transmatter hummed on, and the there was a dry crackling sound as the
transmat blurred on.
"I was only trying to see what the heck the uplink to DRIZZTSAT
meant!" RosterwReam said over the crackling. The room flooded with white
light.
"You IDIOT! There is no such thing!" MT-Man moved to the
keyboard frantically, but was frozen in mid leap by the entry explosion
that was jammed into the transmat pads. "Fool! the Transmat is
overcharging! It has to transport something or it will short!"
"IT'S GONNA BLOW!"
* * * * * * * * *
"What the heck are we doing in these transport pods!?" CheeseCake
Eater Lad exclaimed in shock.
"Did the perilroom go bonkers again or did Ultimate Ninja just
kill us and we were automatically transported here!?" Parking Karma Kid
wondered.
"Well the Peril room automatically transports us to safety if we
are to be killed and then replaces us with exact duplicates which then get
unavoidably mutilated. That is how the PerilRoom works, however I didn't
feel any death of any type from the T-port, which is something my
specialized abilities allow me to feel." Cannon Fodder said.
"Good thing you explained all that about the PerilRoom, its not
like any of us aren't aware of how it works!"
"It was a fit of exposition, guys."
"So what are we doing here then?"
"Its gotta be a bug, Look!" Contraption Man let the heroes out of
transport pods and directed them to the window that overlooked the
PerilRoom.
"Hey! That's us!?" Cannon Fodder said admiring himself. "Gee, I
didn't know I looked so buff!!"
"Yeah! Me too! Now I see why BandWagon Chick digs me! Look at
my muscles!" Parking Karma Kid pointed down to a muscle swolen PK Kid.
"Uh guys, don't you think we should warn Ultimate Ninja!?" Cheese
Cake Eater Lad suggested.
"You are right, but the intercom isn't responding and the
PerilRoom door has sealed itself shut!" Contraption Man mentioned with a
bit of alarm.
"Hey guys! UN is in big trouble! LOOK!" Cannon Fodder diverted
the bumbling groups attention to the three musclebound dopplegangers.
They had just materialized some nasty looking swords and were turning on
Ultimate Ninja. "We've gotta help him! He doesn't suspect an attack
yet!"
"He's sorta got his head in his hands!" PK Kid said shocked.
"LOOK UP! They will chop you to bits!"
Cheesecake Eater Lad smashed his fists against the panel of glass
between he and the PerilRoom.
"There is a renegade program running this thing! I can't even
reboot without disabling the main power grid!!" Contraption Man yelled
helplessly. "Nothing is functioning correctly."
"What about the guns?" CheeseCake Eater recalled the time he had
to turn them on when Black Coronary was attacking.
"Of course! They still work, the person who wrote the renegade
program didn't antecipate that! ACTIVATE THE PLASMA CANNON!" Contraption
Man bellowed.
CheeseCake-Eater Lad reacted before the command could even be
given. He aimed the cannon at a sword that was being swung at the
unsuspecting ninja. The sword shattered into shards of hot shiny metal.
"That got his attention!" Cannon Fodder yelled excitedly.
Ultimate Ninja jumped up and away from the three encroaching
heroes. He was quite shocked. One moment he was dozing off, the next he
was being attacked by his three pupils on mega-steroids and taking a slag
shower! Was this a dream!? He looked around and up to the control booth.
To his surprise he saw PK Kid, Cannon Fodder and CheeseCake Eater up in
the booth waving frantically. It was obvious they were trying to tell
them that the three in the room were not good company. It didn't take
much to tell that as he observed the evil Cannon Fodder raise a sword and
come running toward him.
Ultimate Ninja dodged the attack and beheaded the evil Cannon
fodder with a swing of his Katana blade. The evil Cannon Fodder fell to
the ground dead. The evil PK Kid and CCELad decided to double team the
stealthy ninja. As they approached they were instantly shreaded and cut
apart as a fist full of NINJA BUSH passed effortlessly through thier
figures. The dropped to the ground in another heap of body parts. The
images disappeared. Just then the images reappeared, this time with guns.
Ultimate Ninja cut them down but they would reappear.
Up in the booth Cannon Fodder decided he would switch of the main
power grid. PK Kid, Cannon Fodder and CheeseCake Eater Lad all fought
over control of the Plasma Cannon.
"I want to pick off those evil guys in there!"
"No fair! YOU had your turn! Its my turn!"
"Oh bite me! I am the one who knows how this works!"
Contraption Man wiped the sweat from his forehead. I don't know
how UN has anymore energy to keep fighting in there after having to deal
with these three, he thought. "Fellas! There is enough controllers for
everyone!" Contraption Man pointed to two other cannon controllers. PK
Kid and Cannon Fodder rushed to take a seat and began to pick up on the
controls.
"You know! This is a lot like a video game I used to play, where
you have to shoot the bad guys and not hit the good guys!" CheeseCake
Eater observed.
"How did you do on the game?" Cannon Fodder asked.
"Oh I always ended up killing all the good guys, and well I always
lost within the first fifteen minutes!" CheeseCake Eater Lad shirked.
Just then one of the three cannons shot awfully close to UN,
singeing his suit.
"OOPS sorry, bout that UN." PK Kid said coyly.
* * * * * * * * *
"What the HECK am I doing here!?" shouted a voice from the main
computer control room of LNHHQ. From the transmat pad stepped a very
strange looking hero. He was dressed in the loudest most offensive suit
a person could imagine.
"You are in LNH.HQ." RosterwReam tried to look friendly.
"How dare you release me from my captivity! Do you have any idea
what I was doing there!?" the loud hero fumed.
" no. " RosterwReam squeaked timidly.
"Well OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T! FOR ALL YOU KNOW I could be holding
the very fabric of the Net.Verse together! How dare you tamper with
things you have no idea how they work!"
"My thoughts exactly!" MT-Man shot an accusing glance at
RosterwReam who shrunk in his place.
"And just who are you!?" the loud one continued. "WHY DIDN'T you
PREVENT this!?"
"I was going to the restroom and..."
AND YOU THINK THAT IS AN EXCUSE!!! LIKE YOU CANT DO IT LATER OR
SOMETHING!
Flames shot across the room. They were sporadic, non
discriminatory flames that roasted the two LNHers.
" excuse me, but who are you? " RosterwReam asked up.
"I was wondering when we would get to the introductions! I mean
you two are a really RUDE bunch!" the flames encircled RosterwReam and
MT-Man again.
"I am OPINIONATED LAD!!!"
Just then all the power in the complex went out...
"Oh great! and I bet you don't even pay your power bill!!" The
Opinionated One glowed until the power went back up again.
* * * * * * * * *
Acton Lord gasped in the dark. Trying to sleep was not easy for
one who had made so many enemies. He sat in the dark eyes wide open. The
Nightmare reeled in his head over and over and over again.
"It was only a dream, right?" Acton Lord reminded himself. "HE
couldn't possibly be free."
Acton Lord slowly leaned back on his pillow and closed his eyes.
He did not go back to sleep.
* * * * * * * * *
Contraption Man, Ultimate Ninja, Parking Karma Kid, CheeseCake
Eater Lad and Cannon Fodder stumbled into the main control computer center
about three minutes after the power came back on.
"We have a problem, there is a traitor in the LNH." Contraption
Man began to address the group, not even noticing the newcomer.
"Do you know who it is for sure!?" Ultimate Ninja said
exhaustedly.
"Well, not for sure, but I know a way we can trap him, if it is
who I think it is!"
==========
Next Week: Leadership Crisis Part Three!!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/attachments/20240114/1d2c088f/attachment-0001.htm>
More information about the racc
mailing list