LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #313: Leadership Crisis Part One
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Jan 7 13:11:46 PST 2024
And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.
You'd think this would be in the Ultimate Ninja or LNH Series
folder, but nope -- it's here in Misc folder:
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Misc/
So, here's the Leadership Crisis crossover with Martin Phipps's
LNH Series and Raymond "wReam" Bingham's Ultimate Ninja series
(with some behind the scenes editing work by Todd "Scavenger"
Kogutt)!
We start with LNH v1 #18 by Martin Phipps! Is it time for the
barely used LNH'rs to meet up and discuss Cry.Sig?! Is it
time for Mr. Homage to brag about that time he failed to kill
the LNH and still got a cool trillion out of that?! And is the
best way to cosplay as a supervillain just to make your costume
darker?!!
Find out in...
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #313
=====================
Leadership Crisis Part One
=====================
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Misc/
Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh
Subject: THE DEJA DUDE / ULTIMATE NINJA TRADE ETHERBACK!!!
From: guest at chopin.Physics.McGill.CA (Muhep Guest account)
Date: Thu, 28 Jan 1993 01:24:38 GMT
Through the magic of Retcon, we present:
THE
DEJA DUDE / ULTIMATE NINJA
TRADE ETHERBACK!!!
Written by Martin Phipps in Montreal, Quebec
and wReam (Raymond Bringham) in Utah
Edited by Scavenger (Todd Kogutt) in Boulder, Colorado
Introduction
I don't know about wReam but I think I know how Claremont and
Byrne must have felt when Shooter told them to redo Uncanny X-Men #137
("You want us to do WHAT?!!!"). In this case, Scavenger told us to redo
the storyline that we had going on over Christmas. The result, just as
with UX #137, is a better story -- at least that's my opinion. Let us
know what you think.
Martin Phipps (aka Deja Dude)
LOULA at hep.physics.mcgill.ca
Legion of Net.Heroes -- In Pursuit of the Net.Villains!
The splash page shows Doctor Stomper, Super Apathy Lad, Procrastination
Boy, Sidewinder, Bad Timing Boy, Irony Man and Deja Dude in the seminar
room on the second floor of the (apparently rebuilt)
hall.mansion.hideout of the Legion of Net.Heroes.
"Is this everyone?" asked Doctor Stomper.
"I guess everyone else had something better to do," said Sidewinder.
"Well, alright then, I just thought I'd clear up a plot hole ...
I guess those who are not here can just read this story." Doctor
Stomper cleared his throat. "First of all, there's the matter of where
the Doctor Killfile android came from. My guess is that the Man Who
Now Has A Leather Gauntlet Jewelled With The Insanity Gems was
responsible."
"Shouldn't that be the Man Who Used To Have A Leather Gauntlet
Jewelled With Insanity Gems?" Bad Timing Boy asked.
"Well, no," began Doctor Stomper, "although it might be more accurate
to have called him the Man Who Is Going To Have A Leather Gauntlet
Jewelled With The Insanity Gems But Doesn't Have Them All Yet. You see,
what happened when the android Doctor Killfile and the others attacked
could have been accomplished by the use of the Guest Star Gem alone."
"I see," began Deja Dude, "he could have summoned them from limbo and
used them against us."
"Exactly," agreed Doctor Stomper, "and, as is the case when you use
the Guest Star Gem, if the Guest Star turns out to have been out of
character or unavailable at the time of the story, the Guest Star
immediately transforms into an imposter or an android."
"Which is exactly what happened," observed Irony Man.
They reflected on this for a moment.
"Well then," began Deja Dude, "that was all very interesting but
you'll notice that, with that bit of exposition out of the way, we
haven't actually established what were going to be doing in this story."
"Who says we have to do anything?" asked Procrastination Boy.
"Yeah, couldn't we just run a few ads?" asked Super Apathy Lad.
Sidewinder shook his head. "You know, I don't know why I hang around
with you guys! I mean, hell, if I had sucked up to Rebel Yell and the
others maybe I'd be leader now!"
"Well, actually Sidewinder, it's a bit more serious then that: you're
one of the few Legionaires that wasn't even mentioned in either Cry.Sig
or THE FLAME WARS," noted Deja Dude.
"Cry.Sig, Cry.Sig, wasn't that when we faced the Crossover Queen?"
Super Apathy Lad asked Procrastination Boy.
"Actually, I wasn't here during Cry.Sig. I meant to be here but ..."
Procrastination Boy waved his left hand in the air and sighed.
"Look," began Deja Dude, "Cry.Sig is ancient history. The question is
not so much how we've contributed to the team in the past but whether we
can make a contribution here and now!"
"What do you suggest?" asked Irony Man.
"Well, seeing as how we're not doing anything else, we could go after
the Brotherhood of Net.Villains."
"You're kidding right?" asked Procrastination Boy. "I mean: why us?"
"That's exactly the kind of attitude that kept you guys from being
mentioned during the FLAME WARS! I mean, while everyone else was busy
doing something heroic, you guys were keeping Background Boy company!"
"If only I knew he was Rebel Yell in disguise," commented Sidewinder.
"I could have made brownie points!"
"Well it doesn't work that way, Sidewinder! We have to earn our place
in the Legion!"
"That's all very well and true when we're under attack," argued
Procrastination Boy, "but surely we're allowed to have spare time! I
mean, look, you're saying 'we've got nothing better to do so let's go on
a suicide mission'! I mean, really!"
"It wouldn't have to be a suicide mission!"
"What do you have in mind?" asked Irony Man.
"We could disguise ourselves as villains and see if the Net.Villains
try to recruit us!"
"Wouldn't they recognize us?" asked Doctor Stomper.
"Well, obviously, we'd change into dark coloured costumes."
"I like it," said Irony Man.
"It might work," reasoned Doctor Stomper.
"Shouldn't we clear this with Rebel Yell or Ultimate Ninja though?"
asked Bad Timing Boy.
"Hey! Can't we do anything without his permission?" asked Sidewinder.
"I say we go for it!"
"Are we all agreed then?" asked Deja Dude.
Super Apathy Lad shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, sure."
"Alright then," said Deja Dude. "Why don't we meet here in one hour
wearing the most villainous costumes we can put together?"
They all agreed.
"I think I might regret this later though," said Procrastination Boy.
Meanwhile, at the far away secret base of the Brotherhood of
Net.Villains, Mister Homage is having a discussion with Professor
Perhap.
"We must destroy them!" insisted Professor Perhap.
"I don't see why," argued Mister Homage. "We planted the bomb just as
the Man asked us to. So the Net.Heroes survived; it's not as if the Man
is asking for his one trillion dollars back!"
"That's not what I mean! They will be after us now!"
"So what if they are? How will they find us?"
"They will not rest until they have! We *must* strike first!"
"Oh? And what if I say otherwise? Is this a challenge to my
leadership?"
Professor Perhap wasn't willing to go that far. He backed down. "It
was merely a suggestion."
"Good, because I have more important matters to attend to. That will
be all, Perhap. You may go."
Back in the hall.mansion.hideout of the Legion of Net.Heroes, Doctor
Stomper, Super Apathy Lad, Procrastination Boy, Sidewinder, Bad Timing
Boy, Irony Man and Deja Dude are dressed as villains.
"Hey, you guys look pretty mean!" said Deja Dude.
"I hope so," said Procrastination Boy.
"Let's go!"
They made their way to downtown Net.ropolis. They did their best to
get attention.
"That's right, we're bad!" said Deja Dude.
"You don't want to mess with us!" said Sidewinder.
"Hey, get lost, OK?" said Super Apathy Lad.
Eventually, they were approached by someone.
"Who are you?" asked Bad Timing Boy.
"I am Robgoblin! Who are you?"
"What's it to you?" asked Sidewinder.
"Have you heard of an organisation called 'The Legion of
Net.Villains'?"
"It sounds familiar," said Irony Man.
"Well, we're in the middle of a recruitment drive."
"What luck!" said Bad Timing Boy.
"Yes," said Deja Dude, "that sounds like an organisation we would be
interested in, seeing as how we *are* villains."
"Good! Follow me!" They did. He took them to the end of an
alleyway. He pressed one of the bricks on the wall and the wall opened
up. "Get in!"
"What is this?" asked Doctor Stomper.
"It's a turbolift."
"An elevator?"
"Not quite." He pressed the button on the inside. They felt the
room drop. "We're in free fall. Position yourself so that you're
upside down."
"OK," said Super Apathy Lad.
"We must be dropping miles!" observed Doctor Stomper.
"Yeah, but then we're soon going to feel what was the roof of
turbolift pushing against us."
"So we're passing through the centre of the Earth and appearing on
the other side!" realised Deja Dude.
"Only in a comic book," said Irony Man.
Soon they arrived at their destination. As much as gravity was
insisting that they were in fact right side up, they still had the eerie
feeling that they were still upside down. They didn't have long to wait
until they were greeted by Mister Homage.
"Homage! I've brought us seven new recruits!"
"Excellent, Robgoblin! You have done well: a dozen recruits already!"
"A dozen?" muttered Deja Dude. Just then, Mean Master (tm), Lord
Vicious (tm), The Evil Enemy (tm), The Wicked One (tm) and The Fiend
(tm) (all last seen in Generic Man (tm) #5) emerged from the shadows.
"Oh boy!"
Other Net.Villains entered the room as well, namely Rumour Monger,
the Hooded Ho''ood Win, Dyslexia, Repetitive Lad, Revamp Lass,
Colour-Error Man (the Canadian spelling, OK?), Romantic-Inuendo,
Plotchopper and, finally, Professor Perhap.
"Hey, look, it's Professor Perhap!" shouted Bad Timing Boy.
All his companions shuddered; all except Super Apathy Lad, that is.
"Do I know you?" Professor Perhap asked.
"Why, no," answered Irony Man, "but your reputation preceeds you!"
"Perhaps," said Professor Perhap, "but perhaps you aren't what you
appear to be. Perhaps if you were dressed differently, we'd recognize
you as someone we know," and with that hypothetical situation described,
the costumes our heroes wore shimmered until they became their regular
green, blue and red ones.
"Net.Heroes!" shouted Rumour Monger.
"LNHers!" shouted Repetitive Lad.
"Uh oh," murmurred Procrastination Boy.
"Well, I guess this is it," said Super Apathy Lad, "we're going to
die."
Deja Dude spoke into the back of his watch. "SCOTTY, beam us up!" He
looked at his companions. "BY SEVEN!"
"What the --" began Sidewinder.
The seven of them disappeared and reappered elsewhere.
"-- hell ... did you do?"
"I had to get us out of there."
Sidewinder gave Deja Dude an accusing look. "Why didn't you tell us
you could do that?"
"I suppose that would have been the sensible thing to do," Deja Dude
admitted.
"Who is Scotty?" Doctor Stomper asked.
"Oh! SCOTTY is what I call this terminal."
"A pet name?"
"Not really: 'SCOTTY' stands for 'Self-Contained ObsoleTe TechnologY'"
"A lot like Scotty himself," Irony Man observed.
Deja Dude smiled at Irony Man. "Remind me never to take you to
rec.arts.startrek.misc!"
"So what do you call this place?" asked Procrastination Boy. "The
Bridge?"
"Actually, I call it 'the little room in the corner'."
"No kidding," said Sidewinder who was standing in the doorway.
"You do all of your work here?" asked Bad Timing Boy.
"No, but this machine *is* the only access I have to alt.comics.lnh."
"Scary," said Procrastination Boy.
"Look," began Deja Dude, "you guys can't stay here. I'm going to take
us back to Legion Headquarters," and, as easily as that, they reappeared
in the lobby. Ultimate Ninja was there, on the way to the central
command centre.
"Hey, Ultimate Ninja!" shouted Bad Timing Boy.
"What is it, BTB?"
"We just faced off against the Brotherhood of Net.Villains!"
Ultimate Ninja smiled. "Right, sure."
"No really!"
"Look, you can tell me all about it later." Ultimate Ninja smiled,
shook his head and walked off to the central command centre.
"He doesn't believe me!"
"It does sound a bit far fetched," commented Irony Man.
"What if we were to try to find their turbolift?" asked Doctor
Stomper.
Deja Dude shook his head. "They'll have already thought of that and
sealed it off."
Sidewinder sighed. "So, this whole adventure, it was a complete waste
of time!"
"Oh, I don't know," said Deja Dude, "I think it made for a pretty good
story!"
==========
Next Week: Leadership Crisis Part Two!!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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