LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #318: Leadership Crisis The Conclusion!

[Arthur Spitzer]

And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.


You'd think this would be in the Ultimate Ninja or LNH Series
folder, but nope -- it's here in Misc folder:

https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Misc/

So, here's the Leadership Crisis crossover with Martin Phipps's
LNH Series and Raymond "wReam" Bingham's Ultimate Ninja series
(with some behind the scenes editing work by Todd "Scavenger"
Kogutt)!

And now Ultimate Ninja #5 -- The Conclusion by Raymond "wReam"
Bingham (and an Epilogue by Martin Phipps)! So, it looks like
the Ultimate Ninja is now the sole leader of the LNH!  But for
how long?!  Can he find the Traitor in time?!  And will it turn
out a year from now in Constellation #27 that he totally got it
all wrong and he'll have to wait till Retcon Hour to find out
who really is the traitor (which he won't be able to do since
he'll have been replaced by an evil alternate version)?!!!!

*Ahem*

Anyhow, find out in (or more likely Retcon Hour)...



              _
             | |      Classic
             | |                      =
             | |      ____    ____    _    ____    ___
             | |__   | [] |  | [] |  | |  | [] |  | _ \

             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
                                 ||
                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #318



                         =====================
                      Leadership Crisis The Conclusion!
                         =====================



                Ultimate Ninja #5 -- The Traitor Revealed!

Ultimate Ninja looked over Contraption Man's idea with a bit of
skepticism.  His ideas hardly ever were simple and they frequently didn't
work precisely as Contraption Man could antecipate and so the skepticism
was natural.
"You are kidding right?"  Ultimate Ninja stood back and analized
what looked like a combination of a spaceship and a tanning bed.  "That is
the most crazy contraption I have ever seen."
"Oh, but it works well!"  Contraption Man said, with his usual
abismally cheerful attitude.  "Look!"
Contraption Man fliped a switch and red light flooded the inside
of the space suit and could be seen emanating from the suit.
"OK so next practice you tell him about the suit and we will see
if he goes for it."  Ultimate Ninja said cautiously.  "OK, That will
work."
Ultimate Ninja exitted Contraption Man's complex and headed for
the cafeteria.  CheeseCake Eater Lad insisted that he try his new double
fudge cherry chocolate strawberry goop delight.  Ultimate Ninja cringed at
the thought of the name.  He could feel the arteries clogging anxiously as
he approached the cafeteria.  As he aproached the door the usual sound of
chaos echoed down the adjoining hall.  It was unusually loud and there was
a lot of laughter.  UN hadn't heard such an outburst since Aunt
Comic-Relief had died.  Something was really funny, UN opened the door to
the cafeteria and stepped inside.  Instantly the laughter died to silence.
There wasn't a single sound, as the LNHers inside caught sight of UN.
"Please, don't stop the party on my account."  Ultimate Ninja
tried to stir some conversation.  The only sound came from a glaring
Myk-El who was whispering something in a very cynical voice into Bandwagon
Chick's ear.  She giggled and then frowned as if she was scolding herself
for doing something rude and mean.
UN scanned the room and located CheeseCake Eater Lad and
RosterwReam in the far corner.  On the table was a large brown edifice.
It was heaped high with every imaginable calorie known to sweets.  This is
perposterous!  How did I get talked into this again!?  Besides I hate
cheesecake!
Cheesecake Eater Lad rose to his feet and welcomed Ultimate Ninja.
It was the first open gesture he had seen in some time and it felt good to
know someone trusted him and thought of him as a friend.
"Ok.  Are you ready for eating ecstacy!"  Cheesecake Eater broke
the silence.
"How did I get into this mess.  I HATE creamcheese!  Not to
mention it hates me!"  Ultimate Ninja protested.
"Now now, you can't even taste the creamcheese."  CheeseCake Eater
said smiling,.
"It's true!" mumbled RosterwReam with a mouth full of Chocolate.
"I hate cheesecake but this is divine!"
"Thankyou RosterwReam.  Now UN you said that if I learned the
spinning hiyah kick that you would try my cheesecake!  You are a man of
your word!?"
A mumble settled around the room and Cheesecake eater gulped
nervously.  It was just a cliche he had used many times but for some
reason it meant more.  Something was afoot.
"Of course."  Ultimate Ninja replied patiently.  Some in the room
murmurred.  "Ok I will try it."
Cheesecake eater cut off a big chunk and placed it on a plate.
Ultimate Ninja picked up a fork and reluctantly pushed the brown glop
around for a second.  Then his fork hit something solid.  Ultimate Ninja
separated the object from the chocolate goop and discovered a razor blade.
"WHAT IS THIS!?!"  Ultimate Ninja said alarmed.
RosterwReam spewed chocolate cake across the table choking at the
sight that perhaps he could eat a razor blade.  "YIKES!"
"What!?"  Cheesecake Eater looked at the blade.  "This is
impossible! I use an electric razor!"
"You are a traitor!  You tried to kill UN!"  Myk-El cried out from
across the room.
"No!  I didn't!"  Cheesecake Eater backed up, fearing instant
decapitation from the Ninja.  "Really!  My cake has been sabotaged!  I
have been framed."
"Ultimate Ninja here's your traitor!"  Myk-El stood up.
"Yes, it would *appear* that way."  Ultimate Ninja sounded
somewhat suspicious.
"Come with me CheeseCake Eater!  You are going to the brig."
"No! Please!  I am telling the truth!"
Ultimate Ninja and CheeseCake Eater Lad left.  RosterwReam sat
back suspicious as well.  Myk-El only sat content.  RosterwReam got up and
moved to his table.  Myk-El smiled and asked.  "So now we can all breath
more deeply now that the traitor has been caught."
"Yes." RosterwReam said in passing.  "Oh and Myk-El, you really
ought to clean that chocolate stain off your jersey before it sets."
RosterwReam smirked accusingly and then retreated from the cafeteria
following UN and Cheesecake eater.

"What are you all lookin at!?"  Myk-El scowled.  The remainder of
the LNhers went back to their meal, acting as if they weren't staring at
him.


Meanwhile Ultimate Ninja and Cheesecake Eater were discussing
something as RosterwReam caught up.
"... so you see, I don't suspect you, but I want to take some of
the suspicion and glaring off of the one we think is the traitor, to see
if he will do something foolish and set us off to the real thing."
"So did you you plant that razor blade in my cake?"
"No.  That was there.  And judging from where it was and how you
always give your guest of honor the piece with the cherry, I think that
the blade was intended for me."  Ultimate Ninja said carefully.
"UN, did you notice the chocolate stain on Myk-El's clothes?"
RosterwReam entered.
"Yeah.  I am surprised that you did.  Good.  You have lots of
potential."
"I noticed it too.  Sorta."  Cheesecake eater said whining.
"Hey!  I didn't say you don't have potential!  I mean anyone that
can survive an onslaught like we did and still live to tell about it
definately has potential!" UN patted Cheesecake Eater Lad on the head.
"As demonstrated in your mastery of the spinning hiyah kick!"
"Thanks UN.  You're not as bad as Myk-El and the others seem to
say you are."  Cheesecake Eater Lad confessed.  UN looked inquisitively at
the suggestion.  "For the last couple days Myk-El and BadTiming Boy have
been cracking all these jokes about you.  You know that type of ethnic
jokes, only they change the race with ninjas and Ultiamte Ninjas.  I don't
think that is very nice."
"Neither do I."  RosterwReam piped up.
"Well perhaps soon we will be rid of those jokes."  UN squinted as
a plan formed in his mind.  "You wait and see."


Later, practice began earlier than Procrastination Boy had expected and so
he was naturally late.  Parking Karma Kid and CheeseCake Eater Lad were
sparring in the far corner of the Perilroom.  RosterwReam was away from
the roster again watching the goings on in the glass booth above the room,
with Cliche Dude, who had decided to pay them a visit.  Contraption Man
and Myk-El were in the other corner with a large spacesuit/tanning/battle
armor contraption.  Ultimate Ninja simply observed the two sparring
heroes.
"Now lift your leg up and extend your toes.  Arms out to the side
and head cocked. "  Ultimate Ninja tried to be patient, but Parking Karma
Kid and Cheesecake Eater Lad wanted to hit each other more than learn the
proper moves, and the stork manuever was an essential manuever to a good
martial artist!
"SQUAWK!"  Parking Karma Kid lifted one leg and flapped his arms.
"I feel like a bird!"
"Oh that I could fly!"  said CheeseCake Eater Lad in a wistful
faraway sarcastic tone.  "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up
hiiiiiiiiiigh"
"And I thought that Rebel Yell couldn't sing!"  Parking Karma Kid
said in disgust!
"Enough of this chatter!  Get to the excercise or I will force you
two to practice more waxon/waxoffs!  And you know how boring that is!"
"Ahhhhh, Yes, Mastersan!"  the two bufoons piped and then laughed.
They had gotten into the habit of imitating some strange chinese accent
and calling UN "most honorable and wise mastersan!"  It got on UN's
nerves, but here it was quite entertaining, and although the PK Kid and CE
lad couldn't see it UN smiled behind his mask.

Cannon Fodder wandered in.  "I give up.  My partner never shows
and Procrastination Boy is six lessons behind.  I can't do this stuff!  I
guess I will just die in these combat situations.  That is afterall my
power."
"Where is Bad Timing Boy!?"  Ultimate Ninja said angrily.
"I think he is boycotting this thing."
"Well, I will go get him, why don't you practice with these two
goof-offs!"  UN pointed to Cheesecake Eater and PK Kid.  They waved to
Cannon Fodder openly.
"C'mon !  We will teach you many ancient chinese secret!  AHHH
SO!"  CheeseCake Eater bowed low and Cannon Fodder laughed.
"That is quite a chinese accent."
"Yes most honorable CannonFodder man, we have mastered the art of
Ninja..."  Parking Karma looked to UN who turned and raised an eyebrow
until he continued. "...Talk."
Ultimate Ninja left the PerilRoom to find BadTiming Boy.


"Oh Contraption Man!  Can I try it on!"  Myk-El said excitedly.
Contraption man opened a hatch in the tanningsuit and let him in.
"OK now to turn on the lights you must squeeze the button on the
back of your wrist.  That will charge up the lights and send light
equivalent to a red star into your system."  Contraption Man explained.
"Yes!  Then I will have great powers as was fortold by others of
my race before they were all destroyed!"
The lights went on and Myk-El began to grow large in stature.
"AHHHHH!  You did it!  You have created a portable red sun!  I am ALL
POWERFUL!  MUWAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAA!!!"
Contraption Man looked on in awe.  "Well, I hope it helps you have
a good day."
"OH IT WILLL!!!"  Roared Myk-El.  "IT WILL!"

Bad-Timing Boy was in Deja Dude's quarters.  Ultimate Ninja paused
at the door, he desperately wanted to break the door down but instead he
knocked.
"Come in its open."  Deja Dude said his back to the door.
Ultimate Ninja entered.  Bad-Timing Boy looked at Ultimate Ninja and
cowered.
"BTBoy you are expected in defence practice.  Cannon Fodder needs
a sparring partner and you were the one who agreed to do so.  Do you have
a problem that we need to discuss?"
        Bad-Timing Boy was hesitant.
"BTB, you had best get to practice.  Cannon Fodder needs you and
we are a TEAM, aren't we?!"
        Bad-Timing Boy nodded.
"Thanks, Deja Dude."  Ultimate Ninja said sincerely as he followed
BTBoy back to the PerilRoom.
        Deja Dude smiled.  Clearly, Bad-Timing Boy was still
uncomfortable having Ultimate Ninja as leader but now they'd have a
chance to resolve their differences.

"INSIGNIFICANT INSECTS!  I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!"  Myk-El raised his
fists at Parking Karma Kid, CheeseCake eater Lad and Cannon Fodder, just
as BTBoy and Ultimate Ninja entered the room.  Contraption Man was already
running for the door like he had forgotten something, so UN sidestepped
cautiously as Contraption Man retreated from the room.
"C'mon Myk-El!  So you have power and decide to turn evil on us!"
CheeseCake Eater Lad tried to reason with the juggernaut.
"You'll likely prove Acton Lord correct if you do that!"  Pk Kid
observed.
"He's just joking!"  Cannon Fodder said incredulously.  "Right?"
        Myk-El extended a fist and crushed Cannon Fodder into a blot on
the PerilRoom floor!  "DIE! FLEA!"  Myk-El saw that UN had entered the
room with BTBOY.  "I AM YOUR TRAITOR!"
Cliche Dude grabbed a microphone in the PerilRoom's control center
and yelled over the intercom.  "I knew we shouldn't have trusted you!
Nooo!"
Myk-El sent a fist into the control Center and the the booth
exploded.  Cliche Dude and RosterwReam ducked under the main control
counter as the shards of Metal and glass sliced the air.
Ultimate Ninja cried his Oriental battle cry and lept at Myk-El.
Myk-El was much faster and stronger than he once had been, as evidenced by
the fact that he hit UN in mid air sending him flying against the wall.  A
field of energy surrounded Myk-El.
Parking karma Kid and Bad Timing boy began to flee but Cheesecake
Eater was stuck in a hole in the perilRoom floor.  He pried on his leg as
the fiend Myk-El aproached.
"What A STUPID POWER you have!  You over comercialized dolt!
Well!  DIE!"  Myk-El smashed the floor of the perilroom just as Cheesecake
Eater slipped away.  Trapped in a corner Cheesecake Eater tried to
remember those self defense manuevers that he had learned.  He flapped his
arms and held up his leg.
"IDIOT!  YOU Have no chance!"  Myk-El moved in for the kill.
Ultimate Ninja took the oppurtunity to send ninja bush flying into
Myk-El's energy field.  It sparked and then bounced off harmlessly.  "Ah
the Ninja has returned for more!"  Myk-El stretched forth his hand and a
blast of force energy collided with the wall behind UN.  UN dodged the
blast and the shrapnel from the energy explosion behind him.  "You will
DIE!"  Myk-El's hand's glowed with extra power as if they were charging
even greater, just then he was knocked on his face by a surprise blow.
CheeseCake Eater Lad had taken courage and had done a spinning hiyah kick
sending Myk-El to the ground.  Myk-El blasted the floor of the PerilRoom,
ripping a wide hole in it.  The concussion left Myk-El a bit disoriented.
CheeseCake Eater Lad retreated from the corner he had been trapped in and
ran to help UN.
"Get out of here!"  Ultimate Ninja instructed.
"Save yourself!"  A blast of force came from Cliche dude that
smashed against the struggling villain, knocking him into the corner he
had trapped CE Lad in.  Cliche Dude smiled as he had always loved the
power of that cliche!
        Unlike himself, Cheesecake Eater decided that perhaps he was a bit
outclassed here and decided he would go get some help.  "I will be back!"
"Good one!"  smiled Cliche Dude!
Parking Karma Kid, who was waiting on the other side of the exit
grabbed CheeseCake Eater Lad with fondness, seeing that his friend had not
been hurt.  "Nice Spinning Hiyah Kick!  But where you going now!?"
"To get help! and sound the alarm!"
  The two friends went rushing down the hall yelling something like
"The traitor is coming the traitor is coming the traitor is here the
traitor the traitor!"
Bad Timing Boy could only sit staring at his friend turned evil
try to smash his martial arts teacher.  What could he do?  Whatever
differences he and Ultimate Ninja might have, Ultimate Ninja didn't
deserve this.

"You will never do another tacky NINJA series again!  You are not
the most powerful in the group!"  Myk-El raged as he tore himself from the
wall.
"You are just jealous!"  Cliche dude rang another cliche that
slowed the villain.
"I will not let another ELECTROCUTIONER's Song happen!  You all
are fools!"  Myk-El jumped up and ran at UN and Cliche Dude.
"So.  You didn't get a big part.  That was hardly my fault!"
"I have been playing the nice LNH member for too LONG!  You are
all FOOLS!  You treat me as your friend, but I think you are all FOOLS!
MUWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHA!!!"
"So!  You haven't done a thing to improve the legion!  All you've
tried to do is tear it apart!"  Ultimate Ninja drew his Ginsu Katana blade
and whacked his field.
"While we try to keep the Dream ALIVE!"  Cliche Dude continued to
pelt Myk-El with the force of his cliches.  Myk-El continued undaunted.
Just then Deja Dude entered the room.  "I am sorry that you don't
like the legion, but I am afraid things are going to go on WITHOUT YOU!"
Deja Dude let loose a blast of energy that knocked the behemoth to the
side.  His energy field began to flicker.
"You are all IDIOTS!"  Myk-El raged senselessly!  "I will destroy
you ALLL!"
Myk-el waved his hands in an out ward motion and a force blast
covering the entire room caught all three heroes by surprise.  Repelled
backward the three figure struck the nearest walls and fell unconcious.
Myk-El reached to crush Cliche Dude first, when Ultimate Ninja in an
effort to save his friend feebly flung a piece of Ninja Bush at the foe.
Myk-El turned.  "So you are not quite out.  Good!  Then I will KILL YOU
FIRST!"  Raising his fist he went to smash the exhausted and drained hero.
"This has gone on long enough!"  Contaption Man stood in the
doorway.  "I believe we have all been satisfied as to who the traitor is,
now you will die!"
"OH REALLY!?  AND HOW!?"
"You don't seriously think I would give you a suit that didn't
have an additional powerswitch?"  Contraption Man held up a black box with
an antenna.  He turned the red knob on it to the off setting.  Immediately
Myk-El was returned to his normal form.  Weak and normal.  Ultimate Ninja
who had managed to stand, barely raised his blade above his head and
sliced downward through the now turned off tanning/spacesuit and the body
of Myk-El.  Myk-El's body fell into two even halfs on the ground ... DEAD.

Cannon Fodder peeled himself out of fractured control room with the help
of RosterwReam.  "The duplicator is blown out!  That means if anyone dies
in the PerilRoom, they die for good!"  RosterwReam explained.
"Parking Karma Kid!  CheeseCake Eater!  They don't have a chance!"
Cautiously the two entered the perilroom through the front
entrance.  It was quiet, except for the terrified sobbings of Bad-Timing
Boy.  "He's dead.  He was the traitor..."  he cried blankly.
"RosterwReam and CannonFodder entered the perilroom to see
Ultimate Ninja helping Cliche Dude and Deja Dude to their feet.
"I appreciate the help."  Ultimate Ninja said ernestly.
Contraption Man waited for some praise too.  Ultimate Ninja saw
him waiting and said angrily.  "You were supposed to have that with you
all along!"
"unn.  Yeah."  Contraption Man gulped guiltily.

Cliche Dude looked at the cross section of Myk-El's innards and
said.  "He's dead, Jim."


Epilogue I

BTBoy stood over the grave of Myk-El.  BTBoy sat back and pondered
on what had happened.  Had Myk-El just cracked under pressure?  Was he the
only traitor?  And then there was the gnawing question in his gut, the one
about who Myk-El was and how he had died.  Was it really possible to kill
one from his race, when exposed to regular sunlight?  It looked that way
but was this the end?

Bad Timing Boy placed a single white rose on the grave and turned
to his vehicle.  A chill wind pierced his overcoat and sent a shiver down
his spine.  I guess that all remains to be seen, he thought.  Bad Timing
Boy pledged to himself he would be ready for the next catastrophe.


wReam...
                                               Ultimate Ninja of the LNH!

Epilogue II

In Ultimate Ninja's Ready Room, Charlie Risk, the Living Decoy removes
his mask and proceeds to change his clothes.

  "I don't know, UN, this all seems dishonest."
  Ultimate Ninja shook his head.  "Look, I'm the undisputed leader, the
traitor is dead and everybody's happy."
  "Yeah, but impersonating Lurking Girl ..."  Charlie Risk sighed.
"It's not something I want to do anytime soon."
  "Why's that?" Ultimate Ninja asked.
  Charlie Risk grimaced.  "Lurking Lad kept ... looking at me."


                                                        Martin...
                                                 Deja Dude of the LNH!

The Brotherhood, The Man, Contraption Man, McLaughlin Man and Charlie
Risk were created by Drizzt (Jeff Barnes) of Kentucky.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

RE: THE DEJA DUDE / ULTIMATE NINJA TRADE ETHERBACK

In UN#4, Scav wants the Myk-El line "Ever since Rebel Yell left and
Continuity Champ died ..." changed.  May I suggest "Ever since Continuity
Champ died and Rebel Yell appointed you acting leader ..."?

Also, and this is something Rebel Yell might mention himself: Epilogue II
is, well, tongue-in-cheek.  I don't want to *SPOIL* anything so I won't
be any more specific. The fact is that, well, there really is a limit as
to how far I'm going to let Scavenger "edit".  So, Scav: chill.

On that note, I'd like to clear some things up.  Consider the following
characters:

Bad-Timing Boy - "Does the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time."
                 Seems to me that BTB would have a bit of an inferiority
                 complex.
Doctor Stomper - "Able to explain the most confounding of storylines"
                 or something like that.  He's used often enough that
                 his character is fairly clear.  I do recall however
                 in part 10 of the ESong where he spouted technobabble
                 and ended up saying "I don't know".  Gee ... that
                 doesn't sound right to me.  Maybe we should Elsewhirl
                 the ESong. ;)
Sidewinder - "Starts a flame war and then eventually ends up on the
             sidelines".  Now *that*'s an exact quote from memory of
             the roster version 3.  Does anyone *dare* tell me that that's
             not *exactly* what he did?
Irony Man - "Able to detect and emit irony".  Great character!
Super-Apathy Lad - "used to be tel-apathetic".  Not much to work on and
                   yet how can one go wrong?
Procrastination Boy - <long description from roster deleted>  Now here
                      we have a character who, as far as I know, is hardly
                      ever used.  Realising that he was one of the
                      original Legionaires, however, I thought he should
                      be used.  Happy Happy Joy Joy!  I found that Squid
                      Boy and Parking Karma Kid, who I considered using
                      myself, were getting ample usage by Drizzt (>sniff<)
                      and wReam. Thus, I felt for sure I would be doing
                      everyone a service by expanding on PB's character.
                      To wit: I see PB as a bit timid -- hence his
                      procrastination.  The fact is he can't help it
                      and, in this sense, I like to think I've handled
                      the character compassionately.  More to the point,
                      he *has* been able to assert himself thereby putting
                      aside the possibility that he will disappear into
                      limbo (not to be confused with Limbo or Limbo) as
                      more and more Legionaires join!

Finally, one last word: to me, the characterisation of *all* characters
is vitally important for NWCs and, especially, for WCs who, even if
they're not involved anymore shouldn't be portrayed as idiots. It's a
matter of politeness.

Martin Phipps (aka Deja Dude)
LOULA at hep.physics.mcgill.ca

PS: I have a sneaking suspicion who this DLMcD guy is.  I'll have to
have word with him. ;)


==========

Next Week:  Taking a President's Day Break!  See you in two!!

==========

Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer
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