LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #303: Blaze of Glory

[Arthur Spitzer]

And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive 
once again.


And here's where you can find Blaze of Glory (and other
Continuity Champ tales):


https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/Continuity.Champ/




And it's a One Shot!  

And we have Blaze of Glory by Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes!  Is it time
for the LNH to finally face The Bon Jovi?!  Is The Ultimate Ninja
wishing that Rebel Yell or Continuity Champ were here incredibly out of
character for him?!  And is it time for another LNH'r to bite the
dust and perhaps give a cryptic last line before they do?!!



Find out in...



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             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
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                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #303


                         =====================
                             Blaze of Glory
                         =====================






"Blaze of Glory"
By Drizzt (barnejd at wkuvx1.bitnet)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"It is not death, it is dying that alarms me."
                            -Montaigne

"Death is not a foe, but an inevitable adventure."
                            -Lodge

"Death is the golden key that opens the palace of Eternity."
                            -Milton

"Death?  Isn't she that chick in SANDMAN?"
                            -Barnes
------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
  One morning, the world woke up to discover it had acquired a second moon.
  "What do you think it is, Doc?" said the Ultimate Ninja to Doctor
Stomper, who observed the phenomenon on the LNH's sensors.
  "I'm not sure.  It's metallic in nature - definitely artificially built
by some alien intelligence.  Furthermore, I don't believe it exists totally
in phase with this dimension, because its presence has caused no disruption
in the electromagnetic fields of earth."
  "Extradimensional?  Great," the Ultimate Ninja said, wishing once again
that Rebel Yell or Continuity Champ were here.  "Listen, I'm going to go
prepare a strike force just in case it's needed.  Keep me informed if you
find out anything."
  He walked out of the monitor room, nearly colliding with Typo Lad.  "Hey!"
  "Soory, Uktinate Nija.  Eye kaem too teel yew taht Countiniutee Chomp iz
beck."
  "Good.  Not a moment too soon.  This falls within his sphere."
  He walked toward the Champion's quarters, expecting the hero to be there.
Instead, he nearly collided with the Champ, who was sprinting down the
hall.
  "CC!  We've got-"
  The Champ broke in, grabbing the Ninja by the collar.  "I know that, you
idiot!  Is it true?  Is it a large metallic sphere, about 800 miles in
diameter?  Does it exist partially in another dimension?  TELL ME!"
  The Ninja, shocked by such an outburst from the always controlled Champ,
just nodded dumbly.  The Champ released him, his eyes focussed on a
place and time far away.  "It can't be him.  Not again," he whispered.
  He whirled, heading for the door.  "No more!  No more will I live in fear
of him!"  Throwing open the door, CC took off toward the heavens.  Ultimate
Ninja looked up curiously at the rapidly vanishing figure.
  Somehow he knew he'd never see him alive again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  "Any word yet?" the Ninja asked Dr. Stomper.  The scientist shook his
head.
  "No.  The last we saw of him, he had somehow found a passage in the craft
and entered.  That was an hour ago."
  The ninja shook his head sadly.  Though he and the Champ had never seen
eye to eye, he respected CC as a warrior.  He began to leave.
  Just then, the proximity alarm began to beep.  Ultimate Ninja whirled,
instantly alert.  "What is it?"
  Stomper adjusted the monitor.  "A man-sized object hurtling toward us.
Sensors indicate its temperature to be indicative of it being on fire.
Looks like it will impact just outside the compound.  Can't seem to get a
positive sensor lock on it for visuals."  He studied the instruments for a
second, then looked up at the Ninja.  "Point of origin - the sphere."
  Instantly, the Ninja was up and running, sprinting for the door.  Just as
he reached it, a powerful explosion and shockwave rocked the compound,
knocking the Ninja to the ground. He struggled to his feet and ran outside.
  There, in a smoking crater, lay a body covered in a tattered orange, green,
and purple costume - Continuity Champ!
  As the Ninja approached, he became the first LNHer to gaze upon the face
of the hero.  He had unearthly, translucent blue skin.  His eyes were milky
white. He *wasn't* human!
  Then, a groan emerged from the Champ's charbroiled form.  He was alive!
The ninja rushed over to him.  "Get Organic Lass!"  he shouted at Stomper.
"Now!"  He turned back to CC.  "It's going to be okay, Champ, I promise.
You're gonna make it through this.  You're tough.  You can-"
  The Champion glared up at him.  "Listen, moron... shut... up.  I've got
a... cryptic... last line... to deliver... before I... die..."
  "Oh, sorry."
  "You... must... stop him..."
  "Who?"
  "Dimwiticus..."
  The Champ stiffened slightly, then slumped, his weight sagging in the
Ninja's arms.
  "No," the Ninja whispered.  Basic-Mysterious-Cosmic-Dude's prediction had
come true for the Champ just as it had for Rebel Yell.
  Organic Lass ran up with her medi-kit and began examining the Champion.
"It's too late," the Ninja said through tears.  "He's dead."
  Other LNHers had come up.  Catalyst Lass cried softly on California Kid's
shoulder as he held her.  Kid Kirby looked on in disbelief and horror.  The
ninja gently laid CC's head on the ground.  Organic Lass desperately
serached for any sign of life.
  Others had a different reaction.  "Maybe death's not the same for... um,
for whatever he is?" Bad-Timing Boy put in hopefully.
  The Ultimate Ninja turned on him in anger.  "Dead is *dead*, you moron!
He's dead; he's not coming back!!!"
  "Yeah," Sardonic Boy agreed, "The Champ's worm food now."
  UN turned around and punched him in the face.  The snide-remarking LNHer
toppled to the ground without a peep.
  "I can't believe he's dead," Kid Kirby said.
  "Believe it," the Ninja said grimly.  "We meet in five in the war room."
He carried the dead hero's body back to LNHQ.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  "CC was the most powerful of us all!  We don't stand a chance against  
whatever
could take him out!"  A chorus of "Yeah"'s accompanied Sig.File Lad's
pronouncement.
  "Didn't it occur to any of you that, if CC attacked it, it could be a threat
to this world, this entire dimension even?"  Doctor Stomper said.
  The bickering continued, back and forth.  At last, the Ninja stood and
motioned for silence.  "We owe it to the Champion to avenge him, to bring
in his killer.  I'm the leader, and that's what we're going to do - end of
story."
  "But first, we need to know what we're facing."
  "Right.  We have CC's funeral, then we search through his stuff for
clues."  The ninja leaned across the table.  "Whoever or whatever killed
him, CC knew it.  We need to know the nature of our foe as well."
  A despondent, and typically angry Sarcastic Lad looked away from the group.
"Hmmmph! Nobody gave to shakes when Flats died," he said under his breath.
"Now everybody's all broken up over the Champ assuming room temperature. It
ain't fair."
  "Maybe it's because, compared to the Champ," sniped Doctor Stomper,
"Flatulence Lad made a pretty pathetic hero. Ever think of that?"
  Out of deference to the situation, Sarcastic Lad held back his urge to
lunge at the doctor, opting instead to mark the comment to act on it in
the future. "@%)(*@#^(*^!@ jerk," Sarc said.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  "Friends," Self-Righteous Preacher proclaimed, "we are here to honor the
memory of a fallen hero, one who gave his life in sacrifice for this world
and its people, one who died for each and every one of you here.  Would
anyone care to speak before we plant the poor sucker."
  Kid Kirby stood.  "Verily, though I am but a new Legionaire, I felt a
kinship to Continuity Champ, a bond that all warriors for that which is
good and right and true and cosmic share.  You will be missed, my friend."
  "Anyone else?"
  Obscure Trivia Lad spoke up.  "Obscure Trivia Lad is not good with words,
seeing as how Obscure Trivia Lad refers to himself in the third person and
has the tendency to forget anything important he had to say."
  "So get on with it!" a bandaged Sardonic Lad said, earning a painful
Vulcan nerve pinch from Ultimate Ninja.
  "Obscure Triva Lad made these for each of us to wear."  He pulled out a
box filled with orange, green, and purple-striped armbands labelled with
CC's logo.  "Obscure Trivia Lad thinks they will help us honor the memory
of one so dear to us."  He sat back down and began passing the armbands
around.
  "Would anyone else care to speak of our fallen comrade?"
  The Ultimate Ninja walked up to the front.  "None of us really knew that
much about Continuity Champ," he began, "not very much at all.  He hid his
origin, identity, and past from us.  Meaning no disrespect, he was hard to
get along with.  Yet, for all his weaknesses, for all his alien nature, he
was..."  The ninja chonked up.  "...he... was... the most human... man... I
ever knew..."  He sat down quickly.
  Self-Righteous Preacher closed his generic, non-denominational religious book
and nodded to the pallbearers.
  They hoisted the closed coffin into the grand mausoleum and CC was
placed into the ground.
  The Ultimate Ninja regained his composure.  "Assemble in CC's quarters in
ten minutes.  We're going to find out who or what this 'Dimwiticus' is. And
then we're going to kick his butt."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  The Ultimate Ninja stood in the doorway as the other LNHers began
systematically sorting and boxing up Continuity Champ's possessions.  "How
did he get all this stuff in here without us seeing it?" he asked,
disbelieving the voluminous clutter in the Champ's quarters.
  "Well," Doctor Stomper said, "you've got to remember he did display
teleportational abilities when we first met him."
  "Yeah," Browsing Boy said, looking up from the complete run of SILVER
SURFER volume 3 comics he was perusing.  "What ever happened to those
powers, anyway?"
  "Beats me.  Hey, Obscure Trivia Lad, you spent the most time with him.
Have you got any idea where CC's powers came from or why they seemed to
fluctuate so much?"
  The android hero scratched his chin thoughtfully, more out of habit than
any need to relieve an itch.  "Obscure Trivia Lad once speculated it could
be due to the battle with Harras the Horrendous.  Obscure Trivia Lad
thought he might operate on a power pool/END reserve system with limited
charges."
  Doctor Stomper blinked in confusion, but those heroes familiar with the
CHAMPIONS system nodded their agreement.  Someone handed the doctor the
Champ's copy of the fourth edtion rulebook (hardback, falling apart due to
the poor binding), and he retired to a corner to peruse it.
  Obscure Trivia Lad continued.  "But, after the incident in Cosmic, New
York, with Dr. Killfile, Obscure Trivia Lad realized he was wrong.  At one
time, Obscure Trivia Lad theorized it could have been that his powers had
been 'redefined' in the post-Cry.Sig Looniverse, but that theory has holes
as well."
  "So what you're trying to say, bright boy, is that you don't know why his
powers acted the way they did?" Sarcastic Lad asked.
  "That is correct.  Obscure Trivia Lad does not know."
  "Well, why not? Mister Encyclopedia Britannica!" snapped the vile verbalist.
  Obscure Trivia Lad produced a printout of his 'Official How To Write
Obscure Trivia Lad' guide and pointed to a sentence.  "See.  'However,
Obscure Trivia Lad has a nasty tendency to forget IMPORTANT pieces of
information when he needs to.'"
  "Oh."  For once, Sarcastic Lad couldn't think of a comeback line, much to
the relief of his companions.
  "Obscure Trivia Lad did note, though, that Continuity Champ's powers
tended to rise and fall, as though some outside force controlled his power
level.  For example, at times, he was omnipotent, but he couldn't even take
care of Spoonsday on his own."
  "Hey," Doctor Stomper said helpfully, looking up from his hardcover,
"maybe his powers waned and waxed, rose and fell in a regular pattern, like
the tides."
  "No, Obscure Trivia Lad could find no discernable pattern."
  "Look at this!"  Mainstream Man shouted with glee from one corner.  The
LNH gathered around to discover the entire run of Liefeld NEW MUTANTS.
  "Burn them," Comics-Snob Boy said disdainfully.
  "No, I found them!  They're MINE!!!"
  "You know the policy, MM," Utimate Ninja said patiently.  He referred to
the so-called Obscure Trivia Lad clause recently added to the LNH charter.
After OTL's apparent death, the LNH had divided up his possessions.  Upon
his return, he had experienced problems getting some of his things back
(especially his comics).
  Mainstream Man sighed.  "Yeah, I know.  We box up his stuff and put
it in the sub-sub-sub basement."  He slid issue 87 back into its mylar bag
mournfully.
  Ultimate Ninja noticed Parking Karma Kid peering into CC's closet.  He
put his hand on the hero's shoulder.  "Anything in there, PK Kid?"
  The LNHer jumped.  "Um, uh... hi.  I was... just... um, looking, yeah."
He looked nervously at the leader.
  UN worked him like an oil pump.  "Uh-huh, right.  What were you really
doing?"
  PK Kid looked ashamed.  "Actually," he said, eyes fixed on the floor at
his feet, "I was hoping to grab one of his costumes.  I didn't think he'd
mind."
  UN snorted.  "A collectible?"
  "No, nothing like that.  Y'see, I figured since he was so popular, maybe
if I got a costume like his, I could pick up on some of that popularity."
  The Ninja looked at the horridly-colored costume PK Kid pointed at.
"Well, you'd certainly stand out in a crowd.  But if you really want to
talk to someone about a new costume, I'd recommend you go to Marvel_Zombie
Lad; seems like he changes his every week or so."
  "Yeah, that sounds cool.  I think I'll do that."  He left the room to
look for the Zombie.
  The Ultimate Ninja began rummaging through the closet himself out of
curiosity.  A couple of spare uniforms (that man must have been color
blind).  A Saint Louis Cardinals t-shirt (a glutton for punishment, too).
A worn terrycloth bathrobe (too big for UN).  Two spare capes (why?).  A
new costume (must've been planning to have his own series before he died).
Then, something at the back of the closet caught the Ninja's eye.
  "Hey, somebody give me a hand with this."  UN and Myk-El drug a large
wooden trunk out of the closet.
  "What's in it?" Bad-Timing Boy asked.
  Sarcastic Lad regarded him with obvious distaste.  "Why ask us, moron?
We haven't opened it *yet*! Sometimes you're about as sharp as a bowling
ball!"
  "Stand back," Ultimate Ninja said.  Concentrating all his willpower, he
chopped the lock open with his gloved hand.  The chest fell open, and the
LNH gathered behind UN to peer over his shoulders.
  "Tapes?" Kid Anarky asked quizically, picking up a few.  "Restless
Heart?  Aaron Tippin?  Billy Dean?  Who are these people?"
  "Obscure Trivia Lad says they are all country music artists."  KA quickly
dropped the tapes and recoiled, brushing off his hands.
  "Country?  Yuck!"
  Sarcastic Lad, unable to let an opportunity pass, spoke.  "Oh, and I
suppose that trash you blare all day long is better? Some of Tippin's stuff
really kicks butt! And Billy Dean ... is ... umm ..."
  The entire collective of heroes stared at Sarcastic Lad, glaring in
surprise at his knowledge of country music.
  "... uhh ... or so I've heard!" he said, trying unsuccessfully to change the
subject.
  "If Rebel Yell were here, he could tell us about these, I bet,"
Bad-Timing Boy put in helpfully.
  "If Rebel Yell were here, he'd probably rip your lungs out for the
misconception that all Southerners listen to country music."
  "There sure are a lot of people in this room," Fuzzy noted.
  Doctor Stomper, having finished perusing the CHAMPIONS rulebook, said,
"No doubt Continuity Champ's room expands into extradimensional space to
accomodate as many people as are in the room comfortably."
  "You mean it'll hold a lot more people?"
  "Theoretically, it probably has a limit, but in practice it might take
billions of people to exhaust that limit."
  "It'd be a cool place for a party, dude.  Hey, Ninja, I've got dibs on
this room once we get all CC's stuff out," chimed Fuzzy.
  The Ninja ignored Fuzzy, intent upon sorting through the chest's
contents.  "Who was this guy?" he whispered to himself.  A silver globe,
about eight inches in diameter, caught his eye.  He reached to the bottom
of the chest for it.
  As the ninja touched it, the sphere suddenly grew warm.  Wide-eyed, he
jumped back as it floated up out of the chest until it reached just below
eye level.  A panel on one side opened, exposing a glowing light.
  "<Identify.>"
  "What's that?" Bad-Timing Boy queried.  Myk-El silenced him with an elbow
to the ribs.
  "What are you?" the Ultimate Ninja asked suspiciously, his Ginsu katana
at the ready.
  "<This unit is Observer/Log Unit 647B43, colloquial designate 'Silver
Sphere' Please identify.>"
  "Catchy name," Sarcastic Lad said under his breath.
  As the Ninja postulated what to say, it began again.  "<User unit 647A43
not present.  Since cyber-telepathic link has been severed, this unit
assumes unser unit to be nonfunctioning.  Loading adaptation program.
Running...>"
  The electronic eye of the Silver Sphere focused on each of the
Legionaires present in turn.  After awhile, the Sphere spoke again.  "<Units
identified as allied units 426L79-428L97, colloquial designate 'Legion of
Net.Heroes'.>"
  "Yes, we're the LNH."
  "<The unit referred to as 'Continuity Champ' no longer functions?>"
  "That's right.  He died mysteriously earlier in this story.  We were
going through his things to find out if there were any leads we could find
on who or what killed him."
  "<This unit has a complete log of unit 647A43's exploits.  It would be
possible for this unit to identify threat reference source if sufficient
data is provided.>"
  "Before we tell you anything, we want to know exactly what you are."
  "<This unit is Observer/Log Unit 64->"
  "We already heard that.  I meant, where did you come from?  What's your
connection to Continuity Champ?"
  The sphere hovered silently for a second.  "<This unit was constructed to
be an observational and recording unit for user 647A43, colloquial referent
'Continuity Champ'.>"
  Doctor Stomper spoke up.  "Do you... do you know Continuity Champ's
secret origin?"
  "<This unit's data banks provide a full account of the complete lifespan
log of user unit->"
  "Can this thing talk in plain English?" sneered an impatient Sarcastic Lad.
Ultimate Ninja glared his way threateningly.
  "<Accessing colloquialism and heuristic language conversion filter.
Running...>"  The machine's light dimmed slightly, then the mechanical,
stilted voice returned.
  "<Yo, homes, que pasa?  Slap mah fro and gag me with a spoon if that
there yonder Continuity Champ didna croak.  Ah'm as pleased as->"
  "STOP!!!!!!!!!!" the Legion as a whole (even Sarcastic Lad) shouted.
  The Ultimate Ninja bowed his head, counting slowly to ten.  "Just tell us
his origin, okay?" he said through gritted teeth.
  "<Accessing program.  Running...>"
  Suddenly, the dry, slightly accented voice of Continuity Champ spoke from
the globe:
  "My name is Analith Rath.  I also sometimes go by the name Continuity
Champ.  This is my life's story."
  "Oh, goody," Kid Anarky said, grabbing a bowl of popcorn seemingly from
nowhere, and sitting down beside Panta.
  "I was born in another dimension, a long, long time ago.  I have since
learned this universe was labelled dimension #7943AQ7216BXT1.94F4.  The
planet of my birth was a world called Daggarth, the fourth satellite from
the star M'gnus.  Daggarthians are a hardy people, as their... our... sun
began to flare, causing frequent mutations and widespread sterility.  I was
the last of my race to be born; in fact, I was conceived only due to my
scientist father's expertise in genetic engineering and gene-splicing."
  "Only hours after I was born, destruction came to my native dimension in
the form of a malevolent entity.  My people called it J'hanarith, the Eater
of the Sun.  I have encountered a million names for him... for it, but one
description is multiversal: the Dimension Destroyer.  The Daggarthians were
powerless before him, like k'lath before the butcher.  My father had created
an extradimensional probe which he had tested but once.  Working swiftly,
he converted the probe to be able to carry me to safety.  In the last
moments of my home dimension, my parents were able to shunt my birth creche
into a parallel dimension."
  A slight amount of emotion crept into the always-before-dispassionate
voice.  "I never knew my parents.  They never had the time to name me."
  A brief pause in the recording occurred, one which was broken as the
even-toned narrative resumed.  "And so I arrived on another Daggarth, one
which was not plagued by the solar crises that my native Daggarth had been.  My
creche crashlanded in a remote rural area, and only one elderly couple, The
Clarks, witnessed my arrival.  The Clarks took me in and raised me as their son
for almost fourteen years, the best years I have ever know.  The best I ever
shall.  Little did I know, though, that disaster was swiftly approaching,
as it seems it always has for me."
  "Pa Clark had refused to sell his farmland to some strange men the week
before.  They had been most adamant in having the farm for raising
something they called 'sushi'.  Finally, they told Pa Clark they would have
his land one way or the other.  The encounter ended poorly - Pa Clark
chased them away at gunpoint."
  "I came home from school that day to find my world shattered - but not
literally this time.  My adoptive parents were dead, murdered.  Their
assassins were there as well, telepathic ninja killers.  I felt their
psychic knives begin to burrow into my brain.  Then, a curious thing
happened."
  "In that moment, I suddenly gained new understanding of the world around
me, of the relationship of energy and matter, of the energies and
frequencies the mentalists were acting on.  I learned how to control those
energies and turned their powers upon them.  However, I lost control of my
incredible newfound powers, and the entire house exploded, destroying the
bodies of my parents and all my posessions along with the killers."
  "And that is why I have always hated ninjas."  The Ultimate Ninja nodded,
this account filling in quite a few blanks, such as the strained, at best,
relationship the two had shared.
  "I had nowhere to go after the death of my parents, and, to be truthful,
I feared losing control of my mutant powers once again.  Fortuantely, a
team of fellow mutants detected the manifestation of my powers and came to
me.  Their leader offered me membership in their number, and I, with no
other alternative, accepted.  They tutored me in using my incredible powers
to control all forms of energy and matter.  Once again, though, catastrophe
dogged my footsteps and happinesss was not mine for long.  My teammates
were slain one by one by giant robots; I was able to hold them off for a
time, but my powers were eventually dampened by machines at their command."
  "Fortunately, though, this battle had taken place in a large city, and
other heroes came to my aid.  Chief among them was a sorcerer, who detected
in me the untapped potential for wielding magic.  He made me his
apprentice."  Obvious distaste entered CC's voice.  "In exchange for room,
board, a few parlor tricks, and a useful spell  or two, I became his
virtual slave.  I cleaned his house from top to bottom, did his laundry,
ran his errands, did whatever he wanted from dusk until dawn.  In addition,
he prevented me from using my inborn powers at all.  He said it
taught me discipline.  What it did teach me was a hatred of slavery.  This
tyranny ended when the 'master' sorcerer was eaten by a demon.
  "For a time, I lived off the money he left me and took up superheroics on
my own.  However, an evil foe of mine turned a device upon me which ripped
away my mutant powers forever.  Virtually crippled, I had to fall back on
my basic martial arts training, my pitiful mystic abilities, and large
firearms.  To say my effectiveness was hampered would be an
understatement."
  "At this time, I was approached to be a candidate for a secret government
super-soldier program.  I accepted this offer and became the first creation
of the project, a super-soldier equipped with nanocybernetic implants.
However, enemy agents wiped out all the people involved in the project -
except me."
  "I continued my superheroic career for a time, but eventually the
violence became too much for me.  I sought out peace, tranquility, and
solitude.  I retired to a remote place and lived as a hermit for several
years.  Then the Knights of Continuity came to me."
  "The Knights of Continuity are a powerful group of self-appointed
continuity protectors who supposedly champion the cause of reality.
Believing I could great good as one of their number, I allowed myself to be
inducted and gained power which dwarfed even my previous mutant abilities.
I defended my adoptive reality from menaces and threats beyond mortal
comprehension.  But I ignored the dagger of the Council at my back, I
overlooked their growing arrogance.  I felt as though I were unstoppable,
as though I had at last found my true calling."
  "Then I found doom had a name - Dimwiticus, they called him.  The same
Dimension Destroyer that had devoured my native home.  All my might was
useless against him.  The heroes native to that reality responded to my
call."  A brief pause.  "They died horribly.  I pleaded with the Council to
come to my aid.  They refused, saying that 'Dimwiticus would one day give
back more than he would take', that he was a 'cosmic force'.  They
abandonned me, the cowards.  In my desperation to save my charge, I offered
myself to Dimwiticus as his herald if he would spare my dimension.  For
reasons I have yet to discern, he accepted."
  "And so I became the one thing I had sworn never to become - a slave.
Secretly, I called upon my allies in the Council for aid, but they turned
their backs on me.  I was 'tainted', they said.  I should have gone down
fighting, with empty words on my tongue and those in my care dying around
me.  They exiled me from their number.  I was alone, deserted, with no one
to help me, and no opportunity to escape."
  "Or so it seemed.  In time, I found a dimension I could not turn my back
on, one teeming with life, moreso even than the one I had left behind.  I
had learned that Dimwiticus' vessel carried a device of incredible power
called the Ultimate RMGrouper."  Kid Kirby perked up at this.  "I used the
device to gain Dimwiticus' promise to leave that dimension and never
return, as well as to spare my native reality.  And, so, I became a free
man once again."
  "But I was without purpose.  And then, it dawned on me.  I did not need to
be a Knight of Continuity to guard reality.  I could do just as well on my
own, better even, without the Knights' restrictions.  And so I became
caretaker of the reality which was home to Net.Earth.Prime."
  The sphere's glowing stopped.  The LNHers applauded.  "That was great,"
Bad-Timing Boy said.
  "Are you kidding?"  Comics-Snob Boy said.  "That was more convoluted than
Wolverine's and Cable's combined!"
  "Oh, yeah?  What about Sandman?  He doesn't have a simple origin
himself!"  Bad-Timing Boy shot back heatedly.  "I'm tired of being dumped
on by you people!"  He stormed out of the room.
  "At least now we know what we face," the Ultimate Ninja said.  "Everyone,
assemble in the war room in 10 minutes."
  He turned and looked straight at the reader.  "We're going after
Dimwiticus."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Kid Kirby had snuck out of LNHQ for air.  As he walked toward the gravesite
of the fallen LNHer, he saw a form standing beside it.  It was Sing-Along
Lass.  She looked up as he approached.
  The pair stood beside the recently dug grave silently.  At length,
Sing-Along Lass reached down and placed a single rose on top of it.  "I
hope you've found peace, wherever you are, Champion."  She walked back
toward LNHQ.
  Kid Kirby watched her go, then looked down at the grave.  "I swear by the
Power Kirby that you shall, be avenged, my friend," he promised quietly.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Back in Continuity Champ's former room, the Silver Sphere hummed slightly
as it finally established the link to its parent system.
  <Greetings, master.>
  Yes, my servant.  What is it you have to report?
  <The Champion is dead.>
  What!?!  I would have known had something like this... wait.  It's the
sensor lag here.  It sometimes takes days before some occurences get to me.
  <Would you like for me to revive him.>
  Yes.  Wait - no.  I need a vacation, my servant.  I was just reading
about this planet called Fl'reda.  A relaxing place.  I think I'll take a
break for a while.  You remain and observe events with my puppets.  Keep a
detailed log for me.
  <Yes, master.  Farewell.>

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  High above Net.Earth, the Drizztsat moved out of orbit, with coordinates
set for the planet Fl'reda.

TO BE CONTINUED



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Next Week:  Well, maybe a couple of weeks from now...

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Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer