LNH/ELSEWHIRLS: Net.Hero Academia
mrfantastic7 at gmail.com
Fri Jun 3 12:42:17 PDT 2022
So this was a proof-of-concept story start I wrote up a bit ago for for
the 30th anniversary chaotic round robin project thing that Drew
proposed a while back, which I liked to pretentiously and Kirbyiciously
call the "Fourth Imprint." I figured it'd be easier to start thinking
about the rules, who's involved etc if we had an actual story start. Of
course, it seems unlikely now this'll go anywhere because Real Life has
been happening and continues to happen. Still, I'm going to put this out
there on the net as an interesting might-have-been. Consider this an
Elsewhirl which someone can pick up in 10 years and do something
completely different with like we did for Dvandom's Acton Lord #0 in LNH20.
This is an incredibly pointless story (which may never be continued by
anyone, but then again may) about a little girl who came to the LNHQ and
blew some things up. It tells of her beginning when she faced fights,
character development, retcons, silly jokes and all that other good LNH
stuff, but all that is for later chapters (if there are any). This is an
incredibly pointless story...
Aren't they all?
Stan Lee's undead twitter account resurrected to sell NFTs presents...
Chapter 1: A Wild Storyline Appears!
A ten-year-old girl raced down the streets of Neo.tropolis on a
motorcycle, sending the kiwis running away. Before anyone could ask if
this was legal or a good idea, she parked the motorcycle, did a double
back flip off it and walked into the lobby of the Legion of Net.Heroes
The city of Neo.tropolis was home to a long history of net.heroes, which
has been very deliberately not worked out because LNH20 had enough of
that thankyewverymuch. But it goes kind of like this: Net.ropolis was
the home to the first of the modern age of net.heroes, Manga Girl, who
began her career mumblety mumble years ago. Some say she found a
briefcase with the letters "LNH" on it, but some say it was a gachapon
capsule. Since then, many others sprang up, forming teams and confusing
relationships. Then they fought in an earth-shattering civil war, which
culminated in the destruction of much of Net.ropolis in the horrifying
metaphysical event known as the Second Kablooie. An event so
world-changing they had to change the calendars (which also made more
money for all the calendar manufacturers).
But now, in Usenet Century 12, Net.ropolis had been rebuilt as
Neo.tropolis, brighter and stronger than ever before! Home of the
greatest net.hero team there has ever been, the Legion of Net.Heroes!
The--where was I? Oh yeah--Shonen Protagonist Lass walked up to the desk
of Registrar Lad, keeper of this LNH's roster whenever it is we get one.
"Hi!" she said. "I am Shonen Protagonist Lass, and I am here to join the
Legion of Net.Heroes Academy!"
Registrar Lad looked her over and tapped his pen. "Hmm. Interesting. Not
a lot of shonen protagonists are ten-year-old girls."
"Oh yeah? Well that makes me twice as awesome!" said Shonen Protagonist
"And what are your powers?"
"I can do anything any shonen protagonist can do. Like fight, and blow
things up. See? SPOOON!" she shouted as she raised her fist and shot out
a mighty energy blast which knocked a hole through the wall.
Registrar Lad sighed, thankful the LNHQ generally repaired itself.
"Ah, I see. Well, I hope you didn't kill anyone," he said.
"That's not usually how it goes, well except in One Punch Man," she
said. "And I'm pretty sure this isn't that. So am I good enough to make
"You'll be put under consideration," said Registrar Lad. Report to the
Just then, another young net.hero walked into the room. A ten-year-old
boy with messy hair who wore a nattily tailored suit and huge oversized
sunglasses. Menacing sound effects menaced around him menacingly.
"Who's *that*?" gasped Shonen Protagonist Lass.
"Well," said Registrar Lad, "I believed I've heard of them. A new
net.hero who's the child of a family of assassins. Their name is Mys.
James Xavier Preponderation. They call themself... Kid Enthusiastic X."
TO BE CONTINUED? (maybe????)
 Henceforth just the LNHQ... we usually don't spell out the whole
thing... my wrists hurt already.
 Yes I've been rereading The Tick lately. What of it?
LNH FOURTH IMPRINT PRE-FAQ
Welcome to the so called "Fourth Imprint!" This is a new LNH story meant
to recapture some of the wild chaotic energy of early LNH, and a new
kind of LNH for the new post-MHA, post One Punch Man, post-people
getting burned out on Marvel after Endgame world, with more otaku
nonsense than ever before! Though it may well evolve into something
completely different, that's LNH for you.
The background was inspired by some Reddit post by some guy who
suggested that Project A-Ko was a sequel to Kingdom Come.
Q: How does this work? What's the schedule? What are the rules for
character usability? Who's writing this?
A: Well, if this goes anywhere we'll work all that out before April.
There is one rule I'd like to suggest: Generally speaking, no chapter of
the main round robin saga may be longer than 1500 words. The length is
negotiable, and longer chapters might be needed for pivotal points in
the story, but the point is that the chapters should be short and
Q: Isn't this setup a lot more like Hunter x Hunter than it is like My
A: Well, yes.
Q: Why "Usenet Century?"
A: Because of wildly inconsistent activity in LNH recently, there are a
lot of missing spaces in the Classic LNH and LNH20 timelines, so I
thought it'd be more aesthetically pleasing and we'd all feel less
guilty about procrastinating if we used a completely made up calendar.
Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: To write more LNH stories.
Q: Where is my mind?
A: Probably fell under the couch cushions.
Q: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do
look more like?
A: Darmok and Jalad at Tangara.
Jeanne "The Dark Space Princess Knight" Morningstar
Chief Procrastinator, Commission of Ecumenical Translators
It is a foul bauble of man's vanity. Away with it!
--Count Dracula, throwing a mirror out a window, _Dracula_ by Bram Stoker
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