LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #251: Integrity Quest Part Four

[Drew Nilium]

All right, you know what, fuck all my weird hangups, I'm just going to engage as 
works for me without any guilt. So there. XP

On 7/17/22 5:20 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> 30 Years of Legion of Net.Heroes (1992-2022)!

Wooooooooooo! <3

>    Panta: "Umm, so now what?"
>    Lost-Cause Boy: "I don't know.

I like how this part is randomly in chat format. X3

>   LCB: "Chill, it's only Cannon Fodder, he'll be back next episode.  So,
> anyway, people seem to be experiencing difficulty chracterizing you, and
> I was wondering what exactly you do, Anarky?  I mean, I've used
> my incredible abilities plentifully, and Panta, well... is Panta!
>   KA: "Well, for starter, it's Kid Anarky.  My though process seem to have
> been pretty messed up since I got here, and have been really acting out
> of character since I got here. Weird...

Gosh they got snippy with each other back in the day. X3

> Kid Anarky snapped his fingers and ... BOOM!
>    Panta: "What the heck is that?
>    LCB: "Well, I'd say it looks a lot like very large letters hanging in mid-
> air from no obvious means of suspension.

Later writers would use big ASCII art letters to signify this sort of thing~

>   Panta, bending over "It's all right. It'll be better. It's not such bad
> character development, really.  It could be worst." (Bizzarly, the huddled
> ensemble of the LNH  at the HQ windows inhale suddenly, wishing they could
> see things from Kid Anarky's viewpoint... Kid Anarky notices he can see
> Panta's belly-button from this angle...)

You know, on the one hand this is a creepy running joke, but, honestly, it's 
done in such a light-hearted silly way I can't complain too much.

> 	Panta sat down on her haunches, leaned over Kid Anarky and
> gave him a good luck kiss on his face.
> 	The masses of Legion of Net.Heros (tm) at the windows sighed. Kid
> Anarky struggled - the kiss was the lick of a rough cat tongue across his
> nose - it felt like sandpaper. His eyes dropped lower to where her skin
> tight bodysuit sagged across her breasts, revealing... masses of white body
> fur. He sighed as well and straightened his trenchcoat collar.

And I do like how it keeps getting undercut. X3

> 	Panta turned her head to Lost Cause Boy and perked up her ears. Her
> leopard tail was flicking back and forth in that way that cats have when
> they are thinking.

D'awwww

> 	Lost Cause Boy put his chin in his hand and thought. The wind sprung
> up from somewhere and ruffled the end of his cloak/tunic/trenchcoat/cape/...
> /whatever his costume was at the second. Panta looked away - the changes
> were making her feel giddy.

Heeheehee

> 	Panta thought about this a moment, and then hugged herself, pushing
> up her firm breasts.

This part is a little weirder, tho. X3

> Lost Cause
> Boy and Kid Anarky watched Panta as she tried to remember where she had
> last seen that horrid face, that sneering expression, that air of I-know
> -what's best-for-you.

Oooooh, nice description.

> 	A shiny white van pulled to a stop in front of the Legion's steps.
> It had rounded corners, white sidewalls, and the look of a 1940's delivery
> van. The look of a Dick Tracy comic. Big red letters read 'City Pound'.

Heeheehee.

> 	The portly man pointed a finger at Panta. "Whose pet is that?"
> 
> 	"Hunh?"
> 
> 	"It is in violation of City Regulation R13.454.5, paragraph 7,
> in which all cats must wear a collar and a license." The portly man
> fumbled in his coat and pulled out a leather collar with a bell and
> a license. "Without this, I will need to collect that cat for the City
> Pound!"

This is an interesting kind of exaggerated reality, very cartoonish. It's not 
really my style, but it definitely seems to be what Hubert liked.

> 	"Ummm, I'm not sure.  I don't have any  money on me." he
> explained, inverting the pockets on his coat to demonstrate.
> 	"It just kinda seemed appropriate and..well, there it was.  Seems
> kinda strange to me..."
> 	"Why does everyone we meet have the look of a Golden Age
> comic?" Kid Anarky suddenly asked. "That reporter, that guy,
> those vehicles..."
> 
> 	"I don't know," Panta answered. "Why?" Her bell rang softly
> as she turned to enter the Hall of Legion Net.Heroes.

Of course, it's entirely possible that that exaggeration is being used for a 
specific point... but I don't think it ever quite landed. X3

Drew "but it's been a while since I read this story" Nilium