LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #EPILOG (Side A): "Another Morning Comes"

Drew Nilium pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Aug 27 21:02:42 PDT 2022


OK, MAYBE IT WASN'T THE END

HUNGRY, HUNGRY SABERTOOTHS!
EPILOG (Side A): "Another Morning Comes"
By Drew Nilium (with editing and input from Jeanne Morningstar (more so than
   usual))

====

April 25th, the day after.

====

And on that day, the slow road lead back home.

A man somewhere on the far side of seventy walked thru Drayer Park, admiring
the spring foliage. The cherry blossoms had already fallen, but the leaves were
beautiful.

He stopped next to an anonymous little hill, maybe six inches higher than
average. Of course, the average was hard to tell, because the grass all around
it had been kicked around, pushed up, gashed, and generally disturbed.
Eventually, city maintenance would take care of it, but they had enough to
worry about. For now, the scars of battle would stay fresh.

The man knelt down, touched the dirt and grass on the hill, and listened.

"...not here, but... ah, of course, there." Then something prickled at the back
of his neck. He turned just as a gout of hellfire burst up, a respectful
distance away.

DNSDaemon appeared out of the flames and bowed low to him. "My lord."

The man raised an eyebrow, and smiled slightly. "I am not the one who took that
title of you; I am no one's lord."

"Nevertheless, you are the only one left to take it," said the demon, still
bowing. "I would not return to Net.Hell, unless you bid it."

"Hah! You know I'd never send anyone there, if I could help it."

"Then..." DNSDaemon straightened, with a subtle smile. "It seems you are stuck
with me."

"Hey!" They both turned, to see a short figure under a bedsheet stomping
towards them.

"I can *tell* it's you again!" said Scary Ghost Lass, hands on her hips. "I
thought I said to geddouttahere!"

"We were just about to... but..." Lost souls tend to find each other, thought
the man. "Perhaps you need to keep an eye on me, make sure I don't get into any
more trouble."

"Well! Maybe I should!!"

The three of them walked off together, in the bright spring sunshine, Scary
Ghost Lass skipping along. "So where are we going?"

"To the outskirts of the city. To meet an old friend..."

====

The Black Halo floated high in the sky over Net.ropolis, looking off into the
distance and hrrrrghing and straining in weird ways.

"Bah!" they monologued to no one. "The way back to my multiverse is blocked by
the Molybdenum Blinds of Trademark! Perhaps a subtle tack may prove more
fruitful..."

They relaxed, lying back in the air, allowing the breeze to whip their cape
about and wrap it around their body. Their cosmic senses stretched out, and
altho the noosphere was chaotic after yesterday's disruptions, they could still
feel the whirling dance of life and death beneath it all...

Their eyes opened in shock! "So! It was not mere cosmic whim that brought me
here! Somewhere out there, blown by the winds of dimensional disturbance, is my
clan - nay, my whole city!"

They reached out again, to divine the direction - but the hint of familiar
energy was gone. "Have I caught myself in hallucination, pareidolia fueled by
base fantasy? Nay-- I *know* their signs and portents! They are on this world!"

The Black Halo straightened and tossed their cape to the side. "Thus-- the
search begins!" They sped off into the sky!

====

Abigail the Kiwi sat in the LNHQ's Kiwi Lounge, which had been built back
during the Infinite Leadership Crisis, when various kiwis had gotten to be
leader-for-a-day and spent the time making up for some deficiencies in the
building's amenities. Charlotte, Penelope, and Evelyn were gushing excitedly
about their adventure, and Abigail was smiling and nodding and actively
listening, enjoying their infodumps, even as she kept her own secrets in her
back pocket.

Beneath the surface of her mind, UltraKiwi roosted quietly, letting her
thoughts idly turn and twist.

Her father would be staying on Earth for a few more days, but would need to
return to the Aviary of Light soon, helping to guide the transition from
monster-hunters into cosmic helpers. But this was clearly a world that the
UltraKiwis could learn from, and more would be coming to visit.

Her brother was gone; he'd merged with Simplicity during the final battle, but
when they had unmerged, he had disappeared, no doubt feeling humiliated on a
number of levels. She had searched the noosphere for him; tomorrow she and
Ultrasixpi would transform and search physically, but deep in her soul she knew
he was no longer on this world.

She was sure they'd meet again. Though it had been rejected, love, freely
offered, was always a catalyst of change. Of course, what the change would be
like, no one could say...

====

"...so for now, I'm staying in the city." said Toony Stork, standing on the
sidewalk outside the LNHQ. "I'll be visiting every week, and if there's any
kind of emergency, you can let me know."

"I don't think there's gonna be any emergencies I can't take care of, Grandpa!"
said Merissa. "But thanks! I'm looking forward to learning all your cool moves!"

"Awwww, shucks. I don't think I have any particularly cool moves, but I'll see
what I can do." He looked at his watch. "Oop, better get going or they'll rent
that condo to someone else. See you later!"

Merissa waved as her grandpa hopped in his car and drove off. It was great
having him around. Yesterday had been great... except...

What Token Girl had said about hope... Merissa couldn't stand it. It reminded
her of the bad old days, the memories she pushed to the back of her head, older
than her body and mind. No, she wouldn't put up with that kind of shit... no
matter what.

In Merissa's digital heart, an old bitterness flickered and smoked...

====

Multi-Tasking Man pushed back his chair, stretched, yawned, activated his "be
back soon" message, and saved his game in Elden Ring. (Which wouldn't,
technically, actually come out for another two years, as all the reality-
warpery of the final battle had knocked the sliding time scale a bit out of
joint. But that was Captain Continuity's problem to deal with, not his.) He
left the Monitor Room, juggling thoughts in his head and juggling office
supplies in his hands.

He'd been worried about what UltraKiwi Wondersock had done while in his body,
but the infernal bird's plans had been all grand cosmic villainy, with no
thought of tapping communications or laying subtle traps. Now, Multi-Tasking
Man's thoughts were occupied by the LNHQ itself.

The evil LNH's HQ in Looniverse-Ronove... that was, ultimately, part of the
LNHQ he knew. As were the monsters lurking in the sub-basements, as were the
complex geometries that lead to millions or billions of other worlds, each with
their own version of this living landmark, populated by heroes, villains, kiwis,
and far stranger things.

Ah - and here, a soda machine, a reminder that even in his LNHQ, seemingly
normal things could be dangerous. Like Ven-Dorr, another soda machine they'd
had, a spy for the West Coast Brotherhood.

He slid in a quarter, tapped a button, listened to the cans clunk, and watched
the lights behind the buttons dim and brighten. The LNHQ that he loved, cared
for, could feel the heartbeat of in the flickers of fluorescent lights and the
refresh rate of every monitor he looked at; its nature held good, and evil, and
more. And he accepted that, and loved it still; but would remember it, the next
time he was in some other world's LNHQ.

The can of carbonated sugar water clunked into the delivery slot. Multi-Tasking
Man grabbed it, pulled the tab, took a big gulp, gave the soda machine an
affectionate pat, and walked back to the Monitor Room.

Mistake, the new leader of the Brotherhood of Net.Villains, was quick and
clever. She knew that the LNH understood that net.villains almost never
repeated plans that had been foiled, even if the foiling had been entirely
accidental. So she had moved into that blind spot.

A metamorph who could turn into inanimate objects and duplicate their abilities,
including taking quarters, dispensing soda, and transmitting information in
secret... yes, the Bogusite would be a very useful addition to the Brotherhood.

====

Notes: The Bogusite had his first and, as far as I can tell, only appearance in
the Multi-Tasking Man: Innocent Bystander miniseries, after which M-TM's
creator, Jeff Coleburn, encouraged the writers to "do something fun" with him,
so here we are! For more details: https://lnh.diamond-age.net/wiki/Bogusite

*ka-chunk* Flip over to Side B. *ka-chunk-chunk*

Drew "totally bogusite, dude" Nilium


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