REPOST/LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2 to 4

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer2 at
Sat Apr 16 11:10:39 PDT 2022


                 The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
              Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2

                    "The War on -- Easter!!!!!!"

8:27 AM Net.ropolis Time

A group of hooded men hovered over an operating table.  Strapped down to 
the table was what appeared to be a big lizard.  A Komodo Dragon. 
Strapped on its head was what looked to be one of those 
brain-transferring helmets.  Various wires were also inserted into him.

Right above him stood the leader of the cult.  The cult leader's hands 
held a severed goat's head dripping with blood.  The blood dripped down 
onto the body of the komodo dragon.  The rest of the cultists were 
chanting 'Separation of Church and State' over and over again.

The cult leader started to speak as he raised the goat's head high. 
"You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon.  You are 
no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!!  No.  You are now 
and forever -- Eggplant the Spring Festival Komodo Dragon!!  You shall 
become a beloved icon for all the children of the world -- not just the 
Christian children -- who can be safely displayed in any public school. 
  Yes.  Hindu children.  Moslem children.  Buddhist children.  Even 
Atheist children.  And..."

"Enough!"  Suddenly the cellar door burst open.  The cultists looked up 
to see who was interrupting their very sacred ritual.  "Secular 
Humanists!!  No more shall you make war upon the Holiday of Easter!!  No 
More!!  It is Time.  Time -- For some Bible Lessons!!!"  The Preacher 
then took out a rather oddly shaped bible from his coat -- A boomerang 
shaped bible -- and hurled it at the goat head.  The goat head fell and 
the bible continued on its path smacking each cult member in the head 
and then finally returning itself back to the Preacher's hand.

"No!" the head cultist screamed.  "You're interfering with out right 
to..."  But before he could complete that sentence a kung-fu punch from 
the Preacher sent his jaw and rest of him down on floor like a sack of 

The rest of the cultist swarmed him, but the Preacher was a 
one-man-kicking-ass-and-taking-names machine.  And when the last cultist 
fell, the Preacher took out an axe like cross from one of his pockets 
and used it to slice away the shackles that imprisoned Eggplant the 
Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon.

"You are free -- Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!  Free once 
more to teach the world the true meaning of Easter."

And Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon gave the Preacher a nod of 
appreciation.  He crawled over to where his Easter bonnet was placed and 
put it back on his head.  And then he proceeded to rip out the throats 
of all of the Secular Humanist cult members.

                  OOooOO   OOooOO   OOooOO


Self-Righteous Preacher - wReam
Eggplant - Arthur Spitzer

Tomorrow:  Beige Easter!

Arthur "Spring Festive" Spitzer

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