LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #218: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46-47

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Oct 3 14:17:42 PDT 2021

You can sift through the racc list archive
or you can try google groups racc for these issues of LNH v2.

First we have Saxon Brenton trying his hand at a 24 minute comic (a Jamie
Rosen invention (based on the Scott McCloud 24 hour comic concept)) with
LNH v2 #46.  Lemurs from the Superguy altiverse are invading the LNH imprint!  
What mischief will the Lemurs wreak or maybe they'll just form a rock back 
called Leroy and the Lemurs (well assuming one of them is named Leroy.)

And then we have LNH v2 #47 where Drew Perron gives us a Flame Wars Final
Prologue!  Will the new Irony Man reveal his (or possibly her (or possibly
their identity?))  And will Cheesecake Eater Lad ever get that ketchup-mango-chai
cheesecake to work?

Find out some of that possibly in...

             | |      Classic			
             | |                      =
             | |      ____    ____    _    ____    ___
             | |__   | [] |  | [] |  | |  | [] |  | _ \  

             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #218

                Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46-47

From: Saxon Brenton saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
Date: Mon Jan 2 12:41:48 PST 2012

[LNH][Contest] Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2 #46:  A 24 Minute Comic
___  ___________________________
| |-|                           \  
| |-| []                        /                #46
| | | [] egion of               \       'A Spoonful of Mischief'
| | | []__ [] []   []  []       / (Part of High Concept Challenge #26)
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes  \  
| | |      []\ ]   [ __ ]       /    written by and copyright 2012
| |-|      [] []   []  []       \           Saxon Brenton
| |-|___________________________/
| | 
| | 
| | 
| | Cover shows three lemurs.  One of them is wearing glasses, one of 
| | them is carrying a bottle of grape juice, and the third has a spoon.
| | 
| | 
| | 
     From the personal files of Cheesecake-Eater Lad:
     "I knew things were going wrong when I heard the 'Frink' from the 
back of the LNH-HQ's walk-in refrigerator store-room.
     " 'Who's there?' I demanded.  The only reply was muffled giggling. 
Some supervillain or other, no doubt.  Well, just because the head-
quarters of the Legion of Net.Heroes attracted villainous ne'er-do-wells 
like flies didn't mean that they'd be allowed to get the better of the 
     "I backed into some shadows and then silently leapt up onto some 
tall shelving.  Okay, yes, I know I'm a bit overweight.  But my ninja 
training gives me stealth that my opponents usually don't - can't  - 
credit to a fat man.  
     "I ghosted along, following the sounds of the giggling until I came 
upon my opponents.  They were a trio of lemurs (one of them wearing horn 
rim glasses), and they had stolen several bottles of grape juice.  More 
importantly, they somehow knew I was there, and had shaken up one of 
the bottles until it was full of pressurised carbonation bubbles, and 
then they unscrewed the top in my direction.
     "I catapulted out of the way as the fizzy, grape flavoured soft 
drink fountained and splattered all over the shelving where I had been.  
As I flew through the air I threw a number of spoons at them.  I may not 
be as good at spoonjitsu as Decibel Dude's girlfriend, Samantha Spoon 
was, but the spoons hit their mark squarely into the wall on either side 
of the three lemur’s heads, and then stuck there, quivering with a 
satisfying malice.
     " 'All right, that was just for starters,' I said, as I lightly 
bounded down to the floor with enough spoons for a second volley if it 
became necessary.  'Do you surrender?  Or do I have to get rough?'
     "The troublesome trio of lemurs put up their hands in a sign of 
surrender as they decided not to be troublesome anymore."
     "So that's what happened," Cheesecake-Eater Lad said as he finished 
his story to Occultism Kid and Fearless Leader.  
     Occultism Kid nodded.  "I think I know what's going on.  You're 
aware that the Superguy altiverses have had very little activity over 
the past few years?"
     Cheesecake-Eater Lad nodded, somewhat sadly.  There were so many 
story imprints that had dwindled away from lack of interest over the 
last twenty years.
     "Well, apparently some of the lemurs have been abandoning ship, 
heading off to other imprints," said Occultism Kid.  He looked pointedly 
at the three lemurs, who were now watching the net.heroes from inside a 
steel cage box.
     "Well by rights we should deport them back to their home 
dimension," said Fearless Leader.
     "That's hardly fair if their universe is about to run down from 
lack of interest," protested Cheesecake-Eater Lad.
     "I hardly think the altiverses are in any danger of dying," said 
Fearless leader.
     "I agree," said Occultism Kid.  "If nothing else, the squirrels 
don't seem to be particularly worried, and they've got a far better grip 
on the metaphysics of these things."
     "Okay, so let's get the paperwork sorted out for sending them 
back...  Hey, we've they go?" demanded Fearless Leader as he suddenly 
realised that the cage was empty.
     "Look!" said Cheesecake-Eater Lad, pointing at a hairpin on the 
floor.  "They must have picked the lock!"
     "I'll  use a spell to track them," said Occultism Kid.  "They can't 
have gotten far."
     They hadn't, but they didn't need to.
     The troublesome trio raced down the halls (tripping up Bad-Timing 
Boy in the process) when they came to an open door.  A door that 
shouldn't have been open.  They scampered inside, and came face to face 
with the awesome contents of the Legion's Plot Device Room.
     "Woooo," the lemurs went.  Then they heard the Legionnaires in 
pursuit behind them.  They ran further into the Plot Device Room, and 
happened upon an inter-dimensional portal generator, which most 
certainly shouldn't have been on like that.  They raced towards it.  
Along the way one of the lemurs picked up one of the numerous artefacts 
that were stored in the room: The Spoon of Destiny of Looniearth-A.  And 
then the three lemurs and the Spoon went through the portal into 
Looniearth-20, to make mischief in a brand new imprint.
Character credits:
     Cheesecake-Eater Lad created by Matthew Jotham Millheiser.
     Fearless Leader created by Dave Van Domelen.
     Occultism Kid created by Josh Guerink.
Author's notes:
     Written for the 26th High Concept Challenge: a 24 minute comic 
starting with the line "I knew things were going wrong when..."
     This is the second story I tried for HCC26, and was written in 24 
minutes exactly.  (Editing, spellchecking, and copy'n'pasting in the 
logo took extra time, naturally.)  The first was a story involving a flying 
cargo ship caught in a silt storm in a fantasy setting, but I ran out of 
time about halfway through, indicating that I really didn't have a 
proper sense of how long it would take me to whip off a particular 
amount of text.
     Only after I finished writing did I realise that Occultism Kid's 
summary of the lemurs isn't actually all that complete.  Yes, they're a 
running gag, but upon reflection and after some fact checking it could 
be accurately said that their original home is the usenet newsgroup 
     (Handwavy rationalisation)  From there they spread out, 
including to the Superguy writing group mailing list (which as far as 
shared universe writing group's go is rec.arts.comics.creative's elder 
sibling, and for the last few years has been on low ebb and kept alive 
mainly by the efforts of Gary W. Olson).  (Even more handwavy 
rationalisation)  If we posit that only a few of the more panicky Superguy 
lemur population have decided to bail, and that some have gone 'back 
to the old country', then this explains why only a small number have 
turned up elsewhere.
     By contrast the various factions of squirrel super scientists and 
magicians showed up mainly in Dvandom's old _Crazy Guy_ and 
_Exarchs_ series for the Superguy imprint.
     Anyway, the premise - that some but not all of the lemurs are 
starting to abandon Superguy for still active imprints - is an off the 
cuff piece of silliness that I threw out sometime last year.  The notion 
of throwing the whole mess into the brand new LNH20 imprint to 
further complicate the 'Spoon Of Destiny' cascade is a piece of 
mischief that occurred to me within the last hour.
     What, you though the story title referred to the *lemurs* making 
Saxon Brenton   University of Technology, city library, Sydney Australia
     saxon.brenton at uts.edu.au     saxonbrenton at hotmail.com
"These 'no-nonsense' solutions of yours just don't hold water in a complex
world of jet-powered apes and time-travel." - Superman, JLA Classified #3

From: Andrew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Date: Sat Apr 14 21:03:24 PDT 2012

___ ___________________________
| |-|                           \
| |-| []                        /   #47:
| | | [] egion of               \ "Absolute Infinite Negativity"
| | | []__ [] []   []  []       / (A Flame Wars Final Prologue)
| | | [___][ \[]et.[]__[]eroes \
| | |      []\ ]   [ __ ]       / Written and copyright 2012
| |-|      [] []   []  []       \ Andrew Perron
| |-|__________________________/
| |
| | The cover is a simple holofoil; dark grey with a silvery Irony Man
| | II in the position of Rodin's Thinker and the series logo in blue.
| | In the corner is the Flame Wars Final logo, a black seven-pointed
| | star with "FLAME WARS FINAL" in a stylized font, in light gray
| | outlined with dark gray.



Drops of red swirled into a creamy yellow-white base.  Thin-sliced bits 
of fruit fell in, and were stirred with gusto.  A light powder fell on 
the surface, and it slid into the heat.  Baking, baking... finally, it 
was done.  One cut, then another, it rose to the lips, and...

Cheesecake-Eater Lad sighed.  This ketchup-mango-chai cheesecake just 
wasn't working.

He needed a break.  He hung his toque on a hook and made his way out of 
the kitchen.  The corridors of the LNHHQ had shifted since he last went 
this way, but if he just kept moving outward...

The fire door swung open, and he stood in the garden.  Some earth 
spirit or half-elemental or something had left a patch of green with 
strange, exotic plants here, and over the years, through the 
ministrations of some of the LNH's more earth-sensitive members, it had 
grown flush with verdant beauty.

The late afternoon sunlight fell in streams through the leaves of the 
trees.  Pink and purple and periwinkle flowers hung off clinging, 
climbing vines.  A babbling brook had somehow sprung up, winding gently 
through the green; Cheesecake-Eater Lad made a mental note to have 
someone take a look at the plumbing.

As he turned a corner, an armored form came into view.  He stopped, 
suddenly unsure of how to proceed. "Ah... hi there."

"Hello, Cheesecake-Eater Lad." The enigmatic new Irony Man had been 
inducted under the Miss Terious/Sir Prize Act of 1966, which stated 
that any attempt by a resigning member to nominate a new person with an 
unrevealed identity and hidden secrets to replace them had to be 
accepted.  No one knew who he was or what he looked like; not even 
Ultimate Ninja, or so it was rumored.  His armor was smooth and 
streamlined, in tones of dark, gunmetal gray and the lighter gray of 
titanium alloy, and his voice was heavily synthesized.

At the moment, he was kneeling in the garden, tending to a rosebush 
shaped like the Infinite Leadership Crisis.  His clippers moved 
smoothly, pruning deadheads and trimming branches, collecting the 
remains in a bag for composting. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, pretty good, pretty good.  You?"

"Quite well, thanks.  Has anything interesting happened?"

"Not really.  Shake-N-Bake Lass mutated into a ten-eyed walrus and 
You're-Not-Hitting-Me-Hard-Enough Lad had to talk her down."

"Mmmm, that all?"



Precisely forty-seven seconds passed in awkward silence.

"Well, then, I guess I'll be going..." He turned to leave.

"Cheesecake-Eater Lad?" He paused, looking back, and the frozen 
faceplate turned to stare at him. "Why don't people like irony?"

C-EL let a quiet sigh escape through his nose.  He turned back, 
fiddling with his mask a bit. "Well... I guess it's because they're 
tired of it."

"Tired?" It was kind of unnerving how much emotion was expressed in a 
simple tilt of the head.

"Well, yeah..." He looked around, found an overturned crate and sat 
down on it. "Okay, so..."

"The thing is, back in the day, society was a lot more straightforward.  
But the thing, I guess, is that people felt like they had to... well, 
remember the Classics Squad?  They were heroes, definitely, but they 
were... it's like, because they had to be straightforward, they had to 
ignore everything about themselves that wasn't 'hero'."

"So, because of this, if you wanted to use irony at all, you had to be 
clever, willing to stick your neck out.  And if you did, well, you got 
noticed!  You were subversive.  So being ironic was associated with 
being subversive and clever... and everybody who wanted to be seen that 
way started using it."

"And over time, more and more people picked it up.  It went from being 
a reaction against normal to being normal itself.  Heh, old story, 
right?  But as it went all mainstream, the people who weren't so good 
at irony used it for a cheap laugh, or as a way of making a point they 
couldn't support.  And the people who wanted to subvert the mainstream 
ended up having to use more and more layers of irony to get the same 

Cheesecake-Eater Lad shifted on his seat. "So, basically... it's 
everywhere, and it's gotten annoying.  Never really thought about it in 
that level of detail, but yeah... does that answer your question?"

The metal helm nodded. "Indeed.  Thank you, Cheesecake-Eater Lad."

He nodded and stood. "Well, I should get working on dinner.  Did you, 
um, need anything else?"

"No, no.  You have been quite helpful, quite elucidating."

"Ah, good.  No problem.  Yeah.  Have a good day and a nice evening and 
all!" He skeddadled posthaste.

Irony Man looked toward the setting sun.  He snipped a single bud off 
and caught it in his hand, turning it so the brown rot could not be 
seen on the pink petals.  He sighed, tossed it in his bag, and headed 
inside, leaving the bag in the cybershed.

Behind the locked door of his room, he powered down his suit.  The 
helmet clicked open, was set on the table.

And the new Irony Man said, in her rough yet distinctly feminine voice, 
"And that is why I must continue to seek her... the Messiah of 



Author's Note: Yes, this Irony Man is a fan of Socratic irony.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, the Flame Wars Final logo is based 
on Scavenger's LNH logo, as seen at http://www.eyrie.org/lnh/ .

Next Week:  Something that has LNH in title probably...

Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer

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