LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #Godfinally!

[Arthur Spitzer]

         Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #Godfinally!




                          "The Body Swap Theory"

"NO!!! God, No!!  Why is this happening?" screamed a bearded man in football helmet 
and cammo with tears streaming down his eyes.  He was looking at the TV in the room.  
The TV Screen showed Bad Judgment Boy Blue swearing on a bible.

The other members of NoKluAKon were also horrified as they watched in their secret 
bunker out of sight of the Deep State.  This wasn't how things were supposed to go 
down.

"How could this happen?!" said a very upset lady wearing a piano scarf around her 
neck.  "How could this stupid loser steal the presidency from the greatest, 
smartest,  most masculine, most amazing hair version of Bad Judgment Boy?!  Bad 
Judgment Boy Red!!! This doesn't make any sense!!  Why were all the tweet prophesies 
wrong?!  Bad Judgment Boy Red was supposed to be getting sworn in -- not this soyboy 
latte drinking asshole!!!"  She grabbed a bottle of chardonnay and started guzzling 
it down.

"No, wait.  Did you see that?"  A man wearing a bison hat and nothing else with red, 
white, and blue paint all over his body pointed towards the screen.  "He winked!  
Did you see that?  Oh god.  Now it makes sense?"

"What makes sense?"

"Everything!  Oh, god -- Bad Judgment Boy Red is such a genius!  He did it!  I can't 
believe he did it, but he did it!!"

"Did what?"

"The Body Swap!  He switched.."

"...Bodies," said everyone of the NoKluAKon in unison.  "Of course!!"

"Oh, man!  That makes total sense!  That has to be it!  God -- this was so obvious.  
I can't believe I didn't realize it before now.  But how long?"

"It must have happened.." Bison Hat NoKluAKon Guy counted on his fingers and then 
his eyes became really wide.  "Jesus!  2016!  That's when it -- when Bad Judgment 
Boy Red switched bodies with Bad Judgement Boy Blue!!  Oh God."

Piano Scarf NoKulAKon Lady slammed her bottle of chardonnay down.  "Yes!  That has 
to be it!  I always wondered why this extreme stable non corrupt non racist genius 
was always doing all these stupid, racist, and corrupt things and being such a 
terrible mentally ill president!  And now we know!!  It wasn't him!  All this time 
it wasn't him!!  It was actually -- oh god -- it was Bad Judgment Boy Blue who was 
president!  That's why he was so terrible.  Oh god -- all makes sense.  Everything 
makes sense!!"

"What a brilliant 6D Chess Move!  All Hail President Bad Judgment Boy Red in Bad 
Judgment Boy Blue's Body!!"

"All Hail!!!" agreed everyone as they popped some champagne and got out the victory 
cigars.

Football Helmut NoKluAKon Guy looked at his victory cigar and the smoke blowing from 
it.  "Say, does anyone else find it strange that his whole Hungry, Hungry Sabertooth 
series doesn't really have anything to do with hungry, hungry sabertooths anymore?"

"Hmm," pondered Bison Hat NoKluAKon Guy.  "Maybe the hungry, hungry sabertooths were 
actually the friends we made along the way all the time..."

"Hmm.  No.  That doesn't -- that doesn't make any sense."

And everyone laughed.

---------

Meanwhile, On Earth Combover --

"NO!!!!  It was the Perfect Insurrection!! The Perfect Insurrection!!!" shouted 
Former President Comboverthing as a group of people in hazmat suits dragged him out 
of the White House.  "FAKE NEWS!!! IT'S ALL FAKE NEWS!!!! 2024!! 2024!!!!"


And then Earth Combover was over.


Writer's Notes:

Finally.  Finally.

Arthur "Finally.." Spitzer