LNH: Looniverse Chronicles #9: "Hallow(een)ed Ground" (Tales of the Deep Omnilooniverse)

Drew Nilium pwerdna at gmail.com
Sat Oct 31 19:46:18 PDT 2020

Looniverse-Amdusias. The Age of Heroes has long ended. Now is the Age of Horror.

The cybernetic undead horses of the Cyberzombie Cavalry Legion of Baron Ultravac
climb the great hill, atop which is the Heroes' Graveyard, full of fallen
defenders, nameless now, forgotten now. Vines grow over the unmarked graves,
trees grow out of them; their bodies, even to their bones, are earth now, leaf
now, air now.

Yet there are two; two who call themselves heroes, born long after these bodies
were interred, claiming them as lineage, as ancestry. Baron Ultravac controls
every family line in these lands, has snuffed out any blood strong enough to
stand against him; so this is blasphemy and traitorousness both. The Cyberzombie
Cavalry Legion is overkill, the strongest in the Baron's ranks; but overkill is
a symbol, and tonight they shall make a statement to all.

And now they see clearly the peak of the hill. And silhouetted against the moon
are two figures - the figures who boldly claim to be heroes - Reanimator Lass
and Cryptkeeper Kid!

"Come on, boys and girls~" says Cryptkeeper Kid, face painted to suggest a

"Come a little closer!" Reanimator Lass puts down an ancient device, that in
our world, during the 1980s and '90s, was known as a boombox, and hits play. A
eurobeat rhythm starts up, and she starts shaking her hips and singing, words
amplified thru the boombox by the little microphone clipped to her labcoat.
"If you're feeling dead, I'll be your reanimator
I've got the way to bring you to life!"

The Legion stops, unsure - this is unknown input, with an unknown response

Cryptkeeper Kid dances too, bare feet pressing into the soft ground. They
murmur, "Moss and soil, remember when you would dance in joy."

Reanimator Lass points her finger at the Legion, bopping to the beat as she
walks in a circle 'round a tall oak.
"A superior existence with no one to control you
Where you can always do what you like!"

Cryptkeeper Kid lets the energy of the music flow thru them like a stream as
they spin across the untended grass. "Rock and leaf, remember when you would
strive to protect."

Reanimator Lass points her finger in the air, and the strobe lights in the trees
start going off, blinding the Legion, cyberhorses startling.
"Move your dead bones, bones, bones!
Move your dead bones, bones, bones!
The secret will keep you alive!"

Cryptkeeper Kid's blood pumps hard, their heart beating against her chest to
the rhythm of the techno dance mix. They take a deep breath. "Air and moonlight,
remember when you would exhale in trembling anticipation."

The voice of Baron Ultravac himself shouts into the ears and brains of the
Legion, and they turn, focused on Reanimator Lass, ready to charge and trample
her. She shows them the joyous grin of one who does not fear death, and
confidently sings,
"Move your dead bones, bones, bones!
Move your dead bones, bones, bones--
You'll dance for the rest of your life!"

"Arise! Arise!" Cryptkeeper Kid sends the energy of the music, the dance, and
the memory into the world around them! "Arise!!"

All at once the music cuts off. The Cyberzombie Cavalry Legion cannot charge,
cannot hear their commander.

The music starts back up. The earth grasps at the hooves of the cyberhorses,
and they whinny and scream. Leaves fall from the trees, buoyed on the night
wind, and plaster themselves on the cyberzombies' faces, blinding them. Vines
grow around legs and torsos and heads.

Reanimator Lass and Cryptkeeper Kid dance together, joyously, singing in unison,
the ancient magic flowing thru flesh and circuit, amplifier, aluminum, and the
air they breathe.
"Move your dead bones, bones, bones
Move your dead bones, bones, bones
The secret will keep you alive!
Move your dead bones, bones, bones
Move your dead bones, bones, bones
You'll dance for the rest of your life!"

They point at the Legion, together.
"Reanimate your feet!"

The earth and the vines and the leaves wrap around the Legion, muffling the
voice of the Baron, replacing it with the voice of the world, the world that
was fed by the heroes, in life and in death. And they begin to dance.

And in dancing, zombified flesh joins with clean earth; steel and circuitry
with soil and stone; all the things that had been forced into a half-life of
servitude go back to the earth where they belong, and party until the sun rises.

And when the sun rises, Reanimator Lass and Cryptkeeper Kid are gone. But the
Heroes' Graveyard stands, wind blowing thru the leaves; leaves which are
greener, now that they have been nourished, now that they have accepted those
lost. One day, in not too long, fruit will grow, a wild treat for anyone who
comes to see the graves, as the cycle of life continues.


Author's Note: Big chunks of this are taken from "Move Your Dead Bones" by Dr.
Reanimator, one of my favorite ridiculous Halloween songs:

Drew "he's the most positive necromancer ever" Nilium

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