LNH/LNH20: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths #6

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Tue Oct 27 20:10:09 PDT 2020

On Thursday, October 15, 2020 at 6:44:39 PM UTC-7, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> "Quarantine Ninja Blues"
> A Legion of Net.Heroes story by Jeanne Morningstar

> "The planet Neme.sys is but a shell," said the RACCtre, "a narrative 
> manifestation of an idea. The Combover-Thing is merely a symptom of 
> deeper systemic oppressive forces represented by Neme.sys, but Neme.sys 
> is itself naught more than a representation of these forces. I could 
> remove the election from reality, destroy the planet Neme.sys, yet it 
> would not resolve the narrative tensions underlying this story. The 
> fundamental problem is in the Real World."
> "Which means," said Occultism Kid, "one of us will have to go to the 
> Real World to fight it there."
> "You mean--the actual Real World? Not Real World Minus One?" said 
> Catalyst Lass.
> "Yes."


> "But, uh, I'm pretty sure that's not possible."
> "I mean in the imagination. That's where superheroes live in the Real 
> World. That doesn't mean they're not real, though. What keeps them from 
> being real is the forms they're trapped in--corporations and cinematic 
> universes and brands. But superheroes can live outside of that. The 
> superhero represents someone who becomes a force of transformation, who 
> breaks through the rules of the world they're given and creates 
> something else. That's what magic is. That's what imagination is. The 
> fascists understand that they don't have to play by the rules, that to 
> win you have to create the reality they want, while their institutional 
> opponents are trying to play by the  rules. But they're not the only 
> ones who can do that. One of us can enter into the subconscious of the 
> Real World, to release all the energy that's been held back for so long. 
> To open the floodgates of imagination."
> There was only one of them, they knew, who represented the pure energy 
> and force of will to do this, to become an idea. In many ways he'd been 
> one already. They all looked at Ultimate Ninja, and he nodded.

Well, considering every character is an idea in the LNH -- not sure why he'd
be the only one to do this.

> "It's time," said Occultism Kid. He fished around in his capacious 
> pockets and took out a particularly shiny bus token, one he'd held onto 
> ever since he first put his trenchcoat on and hoped he'd never have to 
> use. "This is a token for the Cosmic Bus," he said.
> "The Cosmic Bus?"
> "You know, like being Put On A Bus. Ever read TVTropes?" said Occultism Kid.
> "TVTropes? Wow, that brings me back," said Merissa.
> "Time sure passes, huh," said Fearless Leader. Everyone was quiet for a 
> moment.
> "Never mind," said Occultism Kid. "The Cosmic Bus is the embodiment of 
> all plot devices that allow the same kind of narrative closure for a 
> character as death without actually killing them off. Like the way every 
> Doctor Who companion leaves now."
> Ultimate Ninja silently took the token from Occultism Kid's hand. 
> Occultism Kid hitched this thumb upward in an arcane gesture and a big 
> red bus with rocket engines and Kirby-esque patterns engraved on the 
> side descended slowly from above.
> Occultism Kid was a sorcerer who faced down unspeakable things every day 
> and had faced death and failure more than once. Fearless Leader, too, 
> was used to loss. Cat was Cat, always trying to put a good face on 
> things. Only Merissa reacted.
> "You're just letting him go?"
> Ultimate Ninja nodded. "Because they know it's time."
> "But--But I was going to fight it out with you to prove of us was really 
> the awesomest!" She started crying.
> "Someday, we will," said Ultimate Ninja. He looked around and took a 
> deep breath. "I will come back. I don't know when, Maybe in a year, 
> maybe in a hundred years. I just want you all to know--" He took an even 
> deeper breath. "I'm proud of you. I'm proud of everyone in the Legion. I 
> learned to be more flexible and think on my feet faster because of 
> leading you. I wanted to test you, to force you all to become something 
> better, but you did the same for me." Then he fell silent.

This is a nice scene.

> All the LNHers there were stunned. This was the most that Ultimate Ninja 
> had ever talked about his feelings for the entire time they'd known him.
> Just then, Merissa rushed in and hugged him, almost bowling him over. He 
> hugged her back stiffly and said nothing. He pulled himself loose, and 
> Catalyst Lass put her hands on Merissa's shoulders. The Cosmic Bus's 
> speakers started blaring out "May it Be" by Enya. Then Ultimate Ninja 
> turned around and stepped on board the Cosmic Bus and the door closed 
> behind him. There was a loud humming noise, and it went up, up, up into 
> the stars.
> Then Nina saw an image from the Real World. In 2016, right after the 
> election, a right-wing media personality had been bloviating when a man 
> dressed in a black mask rushed in an punched him. He struck swiftly and 
> was gone. Like a ninja.

Don't think this scene quite works though.  I mean I think for it to work you'd
need a scene after it like showing some writer writing these words into a
computer since that's how these ideas exist in our world.  Maybe the
Ultimate Ninja is like a virus and everyone that reads these words becomes
infected with a small fragment of the Ultimate Ninja.

I do think the Ultimate Ninja would be a bad choice to send to save the
Real World though since he's all about anger and fighting.  If he were
to spread across the world it would lead to people always being at each
others throats.  Someone like Special Bonding Boy would have been a 
better choice.

But it is in keeping with the LNH making terrible decisions that they eventually
regret.  So it's not a bad story choice.

And if Trump does lose (and gets removed from the White House) is the
Ultimate Ninja's mission in the Real World over with and he returns?

I mean I'm fine with this change of Nina becoming the new Ultimate Ninja
even if it is one that lasts way beyond Trump.  Looking at the past stories
you could say that all the various others that were the Ultimate Ninja
(wReam in Pre Cry.Sig) (Bandwagon Boy Pre Retcon Hour) (Lenny from
those Martin stories) that they could fit in this narrative.  That they
were all different people who became the Ultimate Ninja and then
disappeared when they were replaced.

And what LNH'rs have knowledge of this?  Or do they all do now?

Does Nina have all the memories that the other Ultimate Ninjas have?

Anyways, liked this issue.

Arthur "Changes.." Spitzer

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