LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #14: "The One Where Masterplan Lad Explains Hypertext Time"
pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Oct 19 22:04:45 PDT 2020
On 10/20/20 12:08 AM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> HUNGRY, HUNGRY SABERTOOTHS!
> #14: "The One Where Masterplan Lad Explains Hypertext Time"
> A Classic LNH tale of Masterplan Lad explaining Hypertext Time by Jeanne
> "Hi there," said Captain Continuity, speaking through the trans-temporal Zoom
> "Well, it's under a little strain. For example, at the moment I just finished
> the fourth issue of The Liminals, and am about to segue into a flashback which
> establishes significant character development before resuming my conversation
> with my friends.
Right, so this goes between... *scribbles furiously on the timeline*
> I am using my powers over the flow of narrative to
> simultaneously have a conversation with you. Also, issue 13 was posted before
> issue 12, but that's only to be expected."
> Masterplan Lad nodded. "I am sure with this is possible with judicious
> manipulation of continuity."
> "Are you sure sure?" said Captain Continuity.
> "I'm *sure*," said Masterplan Lad, tapping his umbrella rather vigorously.
> yeah it turns out that in addition to being killed by Pat Buchanan
> [cf Death of Flatulence Lad] and Acton Lord [cf Electrocutioner's Song] there's
> a story where Flatulence Lad died fighting a Cascader invasion and sent the ship
> back in time and killed the dinosaurs...
oh my god it's an Adric reference X3
> And there's... a cute android girl for
> some reason?
omg Dr. Slump X3
> There's a lot of Hypertext Timelines converging around here, and
> trying to fit them into continuity is going to be a pain in the keister"
> (Captain Continuity was a character from the 1990s, so sometimes he said that.)
To the blazes with you!
> He stood up and
> assumed a lecturing pose. "Hypertext Time, which is a parody of Grant Morrison's
> concept of hypertime--"
> "Why are you explaining that? I know what that is," said Captain Continuity.
> Masterplan Lad gestured his arm outward at the readers.
> "Ah, OK."
> It is, in fact, impossible to construct a single coherent
> continuity for the LNH."
> "Dont' remind me," said Captain Continuity."
:3 Yes, and I love it.
> It might achieve this through retcons, such as reconciling the
> contradictory versions of Flatulence Lad's death by having Pat Buchanan be Acton
> Lord in disguise.
omg you referenced my favorite footnote from the Classic LNH Timeline X3
> "People who have powers that affect the Narrative, such as we do, can move
> between different layers of Hypertext Time. Artifacts such as the Rings of
> Retcon(n) and Continuity can also affect it.
> Someone who possessed the Ring of
> Simplification or a similar artifact could, if augmented by sufficient cosmic
> power, merge every single Hypertext-Timeline into one. But this would have
> disastrous effects and lead to the end of reality as we know it. I'm sure
> there's no particular reason I'm mentioning this."
YES GOOD :D
> Masterplan Lad's explanation was cut off by a loud mechanical roar. Something
> shook Captain Continuity's laptop camera. "Yeah," he said, "it turns out there's
> people who evolved from dinosaurs back here. And living dinosaur god robots."
> "Goodness. More giant robots. There's been a lot of that going around lately,"
> said Masterplan Lad.
There is, and there's gonna be more! >:D
> And somewhere else in metacosmic spacetime, Simplicity shook his fist. "Rassa
> frassin Writers..."
> The concept of Hypertext Time was, I think, first mentioned in Bride of C'thulhu
> #8 by Saxon Brenton in 2004
It's a very Saxon concept. :3
> This was a short but very reference-dense issue: the Elder Gods and the
> Celestials were both explanations in Marvel for how the Dinosaurs died, the
> Cascader ship is in reference to the Doctor Who story Earthshock, and the robot
> girl to Arale from Dr. Slump, who went back in time and *prevented* the
> dinosaurs from dying, and that's why there are dinosaurs in Dragon Ball. The
> robots of course are from Zyuranger.
Drew "I love all this so much" Nilium
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