LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #14: "The One Where Masterplan Lad Explains Hypertext Time"

[Drew Nilium]

On 10/20/20 12:08 AM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> HUNGRY, HUNGRY SABERTOOTHS!
> #14: "The One Where Masterplan Lad Explains Hypertext Time"
> A Classic LNH tale of Masterplan Lad explaining Hypertext Time by Jeanne 
> Morningstar

X3

> "Hi there," said Captain Continuity, speaking through the trans-temporal Zoom 
> connection.

Heeheehee

> "Well, it's under a little strain. For example, at the moment I just finished 
> the fourth issue of The Liminals, and am about to segue into a flashback which 
> establishes significant character development before resuming my conversation 
> with my friends.

Right, so this goes between... *scribbles furiously on the timeline*

> I am using my powers over the flow of narrative to 
> simultaneously have a conversation with you. Also, issue 13 was posted before 
> issue 12, but that's only to be expected."

X3

> Masterplan Lad nodded. "I am sure with this is possible with judicious 
> manipulation of continuity."
> 
> "Are you sure sure?" said Captain Continuity.
> 
> "I'm *sure*," said Masterplan Lad, tapping his umbrella rather vigorously.

heeheehee

> yeah it turns out that in addition to being killed by Pat Buchanan 
> [cf Death of Flatulence Lad] and Acton Lord [cf Electrocutioner's Song] there's 
> a story where Flatulence Lad died fighting a Cascader invasion and sent the ship 
> back in time and killed the dinosaurs...

oh my god it's an Adric reference X3

> And there's... a cute android girl for 
> some reason?

omg Dr. Slump X3

> There's a lot of Hypertext Timelines converging around here, and 
> trying to fit them into continuity is going to be a pain in the keister" 
> (Captain Continuity was a character from the 1990s, so sometimes he said that.)

To the blazes with you!

> He stood up and 
> assumed a lecturing pose. "Hypertext Time, which is a parody of Grant Morrison's 
> concept of hypertime--"
> 
> "Why are you explaining that? I know what that is," said Captain Continuity.
> 
> Masterplan Lad gestured his arm outward at the readers.
> 
> "Ah, OK."

Heeheehee

> It is, in fact, impossible to construct a single coherent 
> continuity for the LNH."
> 
> "Dont' remind me," said Captain Continuity."

:3 Yes, and I love it.

> It might achieve this through retcons, such as reconciling the 
> contradictory versions of Flatulence Lad's death by having Pat Buchanan be Acton 
> Lord in disguise.

omg you referenced my favorite footnote from the Classic LNH Timeline X3

> "People who have powers that affect the Narrative, such as we do, can move 
> between different layers of Hypertext Time. Artifacts such as the Rings of 
> Retcon(n) and Continuity can also affect it.

Yessss.

> Someone who possessed the Ring of 
> Simplification or a similar artifact could, if augmented by sufficient cosmic 
> power, merge every single Hypertext-Timeline into one. But this would have 
> disastrous effects and lead to the end of reality as we know it. I'm sure 
> there's no particular reason I'm mentioning this."

YES GOOD :D

> Masterplan Lad's explanation was cut off by a loud mechanical roar. Something 
> shook Captain Continuity's laptop camera. "Yeah," he said, "it turns out there's 
> people who evolved from dinosaurs back here. And living dinosaur god robots."

Yessssss Zyuranger

> "Goodness. More giant robots. There's been a lot of that going around lately," 
> said Masterplan Lad.

There is, and there's gonna be more! >:D

> 
> And somewhere else in metacosmic spacetime, Simplicity shook his fist. "Rassa 
> frassin Writers..."

X3

> The concept of Hypertext Time was, I think, first mentioned in Bride of C'thulhu 
> #8 by Saxon Brenton in 2004

It's a very Saxon concept. :3

> This was a short but very reference-dense issue: the Elder Gods and the 
> Celestials were both explanations in Marvel for how the Dinosaurs died, the 
> Cascader ship is in reference to the Doctor Who story Earthshock, and the robot 
> girl to Arale from Dr. Slump, who went back in time and *prevented* the 
> dinosaurs from dying, and that's why there are dinosaurs in Dragon Ball. The 
> robots of course are from Zyuranger.

Drew "I love all this so much" Nilium