LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #33: "Tales of the Zombie"

[Drew Nilium]

On 11/28/20 1:49 PM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
<snip>
> "Wow," said Marvel Zombie Lad, "it's amazing how we defeated Doctor Killfile and 
> Y-Plex Burp and saved the world from the power of the Cosmic Plot Device!"
> 
> "It sure was," said Kid Yesterdaze. "Too bad we can't ever tell anyone how it 
> was done. Because reasons."
> 
> "Yeah," said Bad-Timing Boy. "I still can't believe how Manga Man saved the 
> entire universe by MMMPH!" A last-minute spell-gag by Occultism Kid had 
> thankfully stopped him.

X3 Yessssss good

> Myk-El let out a heavy sigh. "It's too bad Sacrificial Lamb Boy had to die. Or 
> wait, was that actually in continuity."

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


> "And you know what that means..." said Cheesecake-Eater Lad.
> 
> "Let me guess," said Fuzzy. "Is it cheesecake?"
> 
> "Yeah, it's cheesecake," said Cheesecake-Eater Lad.

X3

> Marvel Zombie Lad smiled. In spite of everything, this team of weirdos had come 
> together to save the world. He'd helped introduce many of them to the Legion and 
> bring them together, transforming from a scattered, loose-knit community into a 
> real team. He was proud of them, more than they could ever know.

awwwwwww

> It had been a long time since Marvel Zombie Lad was inside the LNHQ. He'd feared 
> and dreamed of this day, when he'd face all the people who were once his 
> friends, the ones that were still left, anyway. He'd gone over in his head many 
> times what he would say to them.
> 
> He hadn't expected the place to be completely empty.

Awwwwwww! Yessss goodgoodgood.

> "Hello Reva," said Romantic Innuendo. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
> 
> "Not long enough," said Revamp Lass.

:3

> "Eeeeeee!" said OTP. Crossplay King elbowed her in the side.

X3 Perfect.

> Gracemora glanced quickly around the room and saw Catalyst Lass huddling in the 
> corner. "Cat? Is that you?" she said.
> 
> "Hahahaha NOPE," said Catalyst Lass and ducked into the bathroom.

XD XD XD

> Anti-Christ Lad charged in on Mr. Homage, flaming with infernal fury. MZL 
> instinctively dove in front of him, blasting his own hellfire at the Beacon of 
> Blasphemy.

I love these monikers. X3

> "I'll bet you think you're pretty hot stuff, huh?" said MZL. "Well, 
> I'll show you what hellfire really means!"

Excellent banter!

> He was transforming into 
> an upgraded version of the form he'd assumed in the Cry.Sig--the Image Idolator! 
> His passion for his beloved old-school Marvel comics was fading away, replaced 
> by books like The Walking Dead, Saga, Wicked and the Divine, which a random 
> person on the street might actually have heard of!

XD XD XD Oh my god this is extremely good, the contrast between past-Image and 
now-Image.

> "No! No, it can't be!" he shouted, refusing to submit to realistic dialogue. He 
> focused himself in on the deep burning core of his passion! He remembered all 
> that he had been, all that he had longed for and lost...

YEAH!

> You are Marvel Zombie Lad!

Choose Your Own Marvelzombieventure!

> You could have tried to save 
> him, but you did nothing! You saved the universe, but you lost one of your own 
> heroes, and try as you might, you can't balance those scales in your mind or in 
> your heart... Can you, Marvel Zombie Lad?
> 
> "No!" angsted Marvel Zombie Lad.
> 
> Can you?
> 
> "No!!!"
> 
> CAN YOU?
> 
> "NO!!!!!!!!!"
> 
> "Uh, who are you talking to?" said Cheesecake Eater Lad.

BWAHAHAHAHA :D :D :D

> "But still... Everything is different now. I'm wondering if the Legion has a 
> place for me anymore. Every rose has its thorn... just like every Marvel Zombie 
> has his sad, sad song! Perhaps it is time for me to find a place to sing it... 
> alone!"

X3 I love this so much.

> And he had. He'd gone on a road trip across the country to find his place (even 
> though that was more of a DC thing)

It's very Bronze Age which is the important thing.

> Marv Werewolf (the Wolfman by Night), 

X3 X3 X3 YES

> Flameproof Lad (who had taken on the dangerous super-mode of Flame 
> Writer, the Dan Ketch Ghost Rider to MZL's Johnny Blaze Ghost Rider, more or 
> less).

Ooooooh, yes.

> Renewed 
> flames of motivation burst out of his body. He regretted not having his 
> motorcycle around because it would look especially cool, even though it couldn't 
> really fit into the LNHQ.

X3 I mean fair

> "You will never overcome me, Marvel Zombie Lad! For mine is the power of 
> righteous fury--a damned soul fighting for salvation!" said Anti-Christ Lad.
> 
> "Once, I thought as you did!" said MZL. "Once, I yearned to be more than a 
> damned soul--to be a hero! But it was far too late long ago! I know all too well 
> what drives you to this battle--but you cannot defeat me!" The more they angsted 
> at each other, the larger and hotter their flames burned.

YESSSSSS :D :D :D THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT

> The battle had consumed everyone's 
> attention so completely they hadn't even noticed Captain Continuity zip in and out.

Hmmmm yes *takes notes*

> "Damn it!" said Gracemora. "We need to retreat before the LNHQ blows up! Again!"

X3

> "Oh, I think I can take care of this," said Romantic Innuendo. She wiggled her 
> eyebrows at the two of them.
> 
> Marvel Zombie Lad pummeled away at Anti-Christ Lad, who was slashing at him with 
> his trident. He felt a deep burning frustration at this man who thought he could 
> deny the inevitable course of entropy, the decay of everything that was good and 
> valuable, this man who embodied the ideals he'd long abandoned... and yet... 
> there was something about him that was... strangely attractive...

Yesssssss

> The flames were burning even more now. They were surrounded by a circle of fire 
> that was growing larger and larger. "You're making it worse!" shouted Mr. Homage.

YESSSSSSS :D

> "My lord, I sense another source of Flame nearby that is exacerbating their 
> conflict," said DNSDaemon. Catalyst Lass, huddling in the bathroom, felt her 
> ears burning.

Oooooooh yes perfect.

> "Polybag Person! Try and contain them!" said Mr. Homage. Polybag Person formed a 
> mylar barrier around the two of them, straining and sweating. The flames inside 
> grew larger and hotter and the fires obscured them completely. And then there 
> was one final huge burst of flame...
> 
> And they were gone.

NICE. :D

> "Now what?" said Marvel Zombie Lad. They were, of course, in Hell. But which of 
> the many layers had they gone to? What demonic foe would they have to face.
> 
> He heard a chuckling from behind them. "Well, well, well. I wasn't expecting to 
> see you here, son," said Net.phisto.

PERFECT. :D :D :D

Drew "I love how this is going" Nilium