LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths #27: "Interview with the Scaryghost"

[Drew Nilium]

HUNGRY, HUNGRY SABERTOOTHS!
Issue #27: "Interview with the Scaryghost"
A tale of trying to take my impulsive storytelling decisions and connect them
to the actual plot, by Drew Nilium

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Let's back it up, one more time. Aw yeah, baby...
April 23rd again, shortly after Imperilus and the Black Halo vanished...

Mashup Laq looked around. Well. The problem was... solved? For now? Somehow???
And there was a little girl under a bedsheet who'd just come back to life and
they didn't know how to talk to children.

"So..." They licked their lips and hmmmed."It's been a while since you died.
Uh, how are you feeling about that?"

"Well," said Scary Ghost Lass, "I happy not to be sealed in a spirit egg
anymore!"

"Huh-wha?" Mashup Laq blinked.

 From beneath her sheet, Scary Ghost Lass pulled out an easel and a stack of
crayon drawings on posterboard. "It's time for... Scary Ghost Lass's Big
Afterlife Adventure!" The title was written in big bright colors with an
explosion behind them.

"When we last left our heroine, she was being mega-murdered by the demon known
as Ben Stein's Monster!" She revealed a crayon poster of a big green hulking
figure with horn-rimmed glasses, silver hair, and angry eyebrows. "He filled my
body with the souls of the damned, who dragged me down to Net.Hell!"

"But, being a fully innocent child, I didn't belong there, and I knew it - so I
was immune to all of Hell's nasty torments!" The next crayon poster was a
bedsheet ghost with a halo standing in a column of light in the middle of fire
and demons.

"Fully innocent?" said Mashup Laq, raising one perfectly shaped eyebrow.
"Didn't you kill a net.villain once?"

"That was self-defense, it's fine. Anyway, I didn't want to get dragged down to
Double-Hell like in Super Wizard From Space, so I hid from the demons and
started talking to the damned souls." A picture of Scary Ghost Lass chilling in
a pool of magma next to somebody naked and on fire. "And I kinda, accidentally,
started a revolution?"

"...a revolution, in Net.Hell," said Mashup Laq, blinking and trying to make
sure she understood.

"Well like!" Scary Ghost Lass seemed to be putting her hands on her hips under
the sheet. "If demons can just run around being big jerks and murdering cute
little girls, it doesn't make sense that they're in charge down there, and get
to poke people who never murdered anybody with pointy sticks! And I just kinda
told them that, and they agreed with me, and next thing you know we're an army
a thousand strong marching on the demense of Net.phistopheles!" She revealed a
crayon poster of a lot of stick-figure people running toward an evil-looking
castle, with the bedsheet ghost in the front, still lit from above.

"...as you do," nodded Mashup Laq, taking notes.

"So it turned out my purity of spirit and my net.ahuman powers--"

"Which were those again?" interrupted Mashup Laq.

"I'm not *done* yet!" Scary Ghost Lass stamped her foot.

"Okay, sorry, please keep going."

"*Thank* you. So those made the army really hard to beat. So Net.phistopheles
managed to get me away from everybody else and sealed me in a spirit egg and
sent me floating down the river Styx." A crayon poster of a glowy egg, lit from
above, bobbing down a river in a dark land full of weird scrubby dead trees and
swirly purple clouds and stuff.

"Yeesh," said Mashup Laq, wincing. "Is that the last thing you remember?"

"Pretty much," said Scary Ghost Lass, putting away the easel. "It's weird that
I'm waking up in LNHQ and not in Net.hell, tho."

"Why's that?" said Mashup Laq.

"Well, Net.phistopheles was doing the villainous gloating thing when he was
doing the sealing ritual, and I remember him saying that my egg wouldn't hatch
until I was in the right place and time  to be the instrument of vengeance
against his son."

"...his son?" Mashup Laq made the connection. "Er... do you remember his son's
name?

"Uhhhhh, Diablonius Asmodel Devilson, but there was another name, way easier to
remember so why can't I remember it..."

"...Anti-Christ Lad?"

"That's it!" Scary Ghost Lass clapped her hands. "...hey, you look like you've
seen a ghost! Get it? Heeheeheehee..."

Drew "guess which Nicholas Cage movie I watched recently" Nilium