LNH: Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 3 #3: "Sequels are Always Worse" [6/6]

Drew Nilium pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu Nov 12 17:58:42 PST 2020

On 11/10/20 1:23 PM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> "Believe me, I know," said Sarcastic Lad. "I wanted to say that too. And I also 
> wanted to say... why the hell aren't you with Cat? She could definitely use a 
> shoulder to cry on now and it pretty much has to be you."


> "Actually," said Token Girl, "that all started in Just Another Cascade now, and 
> that was... five years ago now, right? Yeah." She blinked. "What was that 
> horrible noise?"
> "Probably the Writer thinking about being old.

Yes, well ``;

> "Yeah, you're right. Just this once." She waved goodbye. "See you in Hell, Sarc."
> "You too."


> Sarcastic Lad slumped on top of a nearby wall like Charlie Brown. He was having 
> Feelings now, and he didn't like that. Mercilessly mocking his own feelings 
> didn't make him feel better. Right now he wished his old best friend--wReanna's 
> ex-husband--were here so they could go to space and make love to a bunch of 
> space babes, or at least go for some beers. But he didn't come around anymore.

aaaaaaaaaa ;.;

> "So I was thinking... how would you like to join my game group?"
> "Well.." Anything was better than stewing around in self-loathing, thought 
> Sarcastic Lad. Probably. "I really want to go have some sexual escapades in 
> outer space, but I guess that'll do..."


> "Oh, hi Thematically Important Emotional Music Lass!" said Mashup Laq.


> "Look, Cat, you fucked up and you hurt people, but that happens in actual 
> relationships. Friendships as well as romances. You deal with that and you move 
> on." She put her arm around her shoulders and hugged her tight.

YES. <3

> She looked closely at Tara's face, 
> her eyes following her powerful jawline. "I just haven't met the right person 
> yet," she lied.

Aaaaaaaa ;-;

> "OK. Let's watch this. This is one of the most amazingly terrible movies of all 
> time. It's called Face/Off..."
> "Sure," said Cat. Tara picked her up, took her in her arms, and plopped her on 
> the couch. Like a dashing pirate king carrying a blushing maiden. Cat was 
> already feeling better.

eeeeeeeeee ^.^ <3

> And somewhere, in the Victoria's Secret of the East Coast Brotherhood's 
> abandoned mall headquarters, there was a small shrine that Juliet Valentino kept 
> unknown even to her teammates. There were candles--an enormous number of 
> candles, every single one she could scavenge from the mall--around a pedestal 
> with a Funko pop of Catalyst Lass. She couldn't find a proper action figure of 
> her, but one day she would.


> "'Love. It destroys us all. The curse of being a Romantic. It will destroy you 
> Juliet. Someday, when you least expect it.' [quoted from Beige Midnight #3] That 
> was what Romeo Inman, the Romantic Innuendo who came before, told me." She 
> looked into the blank eyes of the plastic abomination in the form of the woman 
> she loved. "Not if I destroy you first, my love. Not if I destroy you first."

So good and fucked up. <3

> The big problem, she realized, was that she'd tried to build some kind of 
> elaborate computer program to try and help Tara have a better romantic life 
> instead of just dating her herself.

Oh, also relatable

> Now in the quarantine she couldn't shove the feelings into the back drawer of 
> her brain any more. They were all spilling out and making a big mess.

Yes, good metaphors.

> "Are you sure? You look a little frazzled." Tara could always see right through 
> her. That was why Cat had let her in so early on the fact that Ultimate Ninja 
> was Nina now. Cat knew that Tara would know immediately the moment she tried to 
> lie.

Ah, nice continuity fix

> the feelings 
> were a giant flood about to drown her in her office. She had to say it. "Anyway, 
> I just wanted to say that I..." She took a deep, deep breath. "I have been 
> thinking a lot about you lately, about us, and I..."
> She couldn't say it, not yet.
> "You what?"
> "I just wanted to say that I... Am really glad to have you in my life."

awwwwwwwwww ;-;

> SSTO and Doctor Stomper had formally started dating--though 
> really they'd been dating for a long while before formally acknowledging it, in 
> a way you normally saw more often among lesbian couples--not long after.

Legit. :3

> Their relationship had been shockingly stable. Sometimes SSTO's powers made it 
> hard to talk about her more complex feelings, but Doctor Stomper, with his 
> knowledge of superhero genre relationship tropes, was usually pretty good at 
> intuiting them. He was actually pretty sensitive when he didn't get so 
> completely abstracted he lost touch with being a person entirely, and SSTO was 
> good at pulling him out of that state. As of a few weeks ago, they were engaged.

Yesssss good. <3

> "You need to tell her you love her," said Sister State-the-Obvious.

I love when "said X" is a punchline. <3

> The way I see LNH v3 now as a whole, after Drew's issues, is kind of a spiritual 
> successor to LNHTP--characterful stories about the "core" classic LNHers, longer 
> and more extensive than the one-off gag bits and short scenes of Another LNH 
> Title? Really?

Yes, makes sense. <3

Drew "loving it so far" Nilium

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