LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #174: Beige Midnight Part Ten
marika5000 at gmail.com
marika5000 at gmail.com
Sun Nov 1 11:23:20 PST 2020
On Sunday, October 25, 2020 at 4:11:37 PM UTC-5, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> You can sift through the racc list archive
> https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
> or you can try google groups racc for the tenth part of Beige Midnight.
>
> Here's the first quarter of issue #4 -- 'The Coronation', by Saxon Brenton
> and me (Arthur Spitzer). Is it time for the Bicycle Liberation Front to
> get that magic lamp? Is it time for Fearless Leader to kill Irony Man?
> Is it time for Hex Luthor to rule the world? Is it time for Building
> Suspense Lad to tell Dr. Stomper about his Uncle who has a Big Ferret
> Farm in Montana?
>
>
> Find out in...
>
>
> _
> | | Classic
> | | =
> | | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
> | |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
>
> |____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
> ||
> |_| OF NET.HEROES
>
> ADVENTURES #174
>
>
> =====================
> Beige Midnight Part Ten
> =====================
>
>
>
>
> From: Arthur Spitzer <arsp... at earthlink.net>
> Subject: LNH: Beige Midnight #4: Imperium Hex Part IV: 'The Coronation' (1/4)
> Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2009 06:18:46 +0000 (UTC)
>
>
>
> [Cover: On the left side of the cover are thousands of Freedom Chip
> Heroes, the Saviors of the Net, and members of the HexFire Club flying
> towards battle. On the right side are hundreds of LNH'rs, members of
> The Resistance, rocketing on flying bicycles towards battle. In the
> center is the Ultimate Ninja putting a crown on Hex Luthor's head. In
> the Beige Background are silhouettes of Dekay and Diskolor still asleep
> on their thrones. And at the bottom in large text is written 'Imperium
> Hex Part IV: The Coronation'.]
>
>
>
>
> **** <<--BM-->> ****
>
> The place -- The Legion of Net.Heroes Headquarters.
>
> The time --
>
>
> B E I G E
>
> M I D N I G H T
>
>
> The number -- F O U R
>
>
>
>
> The Writers -- Arthur Spitzer and Saxon Brenton
>
> **** <<--BM-->> ****
>
> April 16th, 2008
>
> 11:50 AM
>
>
> No time.
>
> No time at all, thought Building Suspense Lad as he sped through the
> Legion Headquarter's hallways on his superfast motorcycle. Tucked under
> his arm was some weird looking device. A device that needed to be in
> Washington, DC. Right now. And he had to get it there.
>
> And as he drove through the hallway, Building Suspense Lad remembered a
> time way back when (A couple of months ago) -- when a person hadn't
> needed to drive a motorcycle to get to one point of the LNHHQ to the
> next point. They could have simply walked. Back when the LNH only had
> like 500 or so members. But now? That was no longer the case. Now
> days the LNHHQ was a monster holding thousands of members. Now days you
> needed a motorcycle. A fast motorcycle.
>
> Of course there were the teleporters, but for some reason Ultimate Ninja
> didn't want anyone using those except for the Freedom Chippers.
>
> He could see the elevator coming up. Damn! It was closing. He
> couldn't wait for it to come back up. No! There was no time for that.
> He had to get there. Now! He pressed the 'Absurd speed' throttle on
> one of the handlebars, which caused the motorcycle to rocket towards the
> elevator. And then he pressed on the hand and foot brakes as he skidded
> towards the elevator getting in just in time.
>
> Oww! Did he break his ankle? It hurt. It hurt like hell. Got to get
> up. And press the elevator buttons! He gritted his teeth and stood up.
> He pushed the 'Flight.Thingee Hangar' button and then slammed the
> 'Absurd Elevator Speed' button. But nothing happened. He slammed it
> again. Nothing. It must be broken. He couldn't do normal speed. It
> would take too long. He had to get to the Flight.Thingee Hangar -- Now!
>
> He took his motorcycle helmet off. He clenched his fist. And then?
> And then he punched the elevator emergency case with all of his Building
> Suspense Lad strength. All of it! Oww! Oh -- Jesus! Did he just
> break his hand? He looked at all of the wires in the case. Which ones?
> Which ones would cause this elevator to go at absurd speeds? He chose
> two wires and pressed the frayed sides together. And then he fell to
> the floor as the entire elevator began rocketing at absurd speeds
> towards the Flight.Thingee Hangar level. Seconds later the entire
> elevator slammed to a stop causing Building Suspense Lad to slam into
> the ceiling and then fall back down to the floor. Oww! Oww my head!
> Why did I take my helmet off?
>
> Building Suspense Lad gritting his teeth slowly got back up, picked up
> the device, and exited the elevator. Here he was. The Flight.Thingee
> Hangar level. This was where all of the Flight.Thingees were. All of
> them (Except the ones that weren't here because they were out flying).
>
> And he had to choose one. One to fly this device to Washington, DC.
> Capital of the Loonited States. One. But there were so many to choose.
> So many different styles of Flight.Thingees. So many shades of beige.
> How could he choose? The one he'd look coolest in? And what if the
> one he chose didn't have enough gas? Or what if it was hooked up to a
> bomb? Or what if it -- Dare I say -- was possessed by -- Satan!? And
> now he had to choose. The fate of the entire Looniverse hung in his
> hands. Which one? Which one!!?
>
> He looked at his watch. Damn it! He didn't have time! But he couldn't
> decide. There were so many of them! Too many! Why did there have to
> be so many Flight.Thingees? Why? Why God, Why? He couldn't choose.
> He felt paralyzed. Was this how the LNH was going to end? Because he
> couldn't choose? Have to choose. He looked at his watch. Time was
> ticking away. Ticking -- ticking away. What was it going to be? Light
> Beige? Dark Beige?
>
> "Medium Beige. Choose medium beige," said an ambiguous sounding voice
> behind him. He looked and saw a human shaped blur. It was the long
> time LNH'r Fuzzy.
>
> "But -- but I hate medium beige. I..."
>
> "I don't really care."
>
> "But..."
>
> "Are you asking me to shoot you? Because I will do that. Now. Get.
> In the damn -- Flight.Thingee! Get!"
>
> "So -- umm -- you're coming?" said Building Suspense Lad as he quickly
> opened the Medium Beige Flight.Thingee's door.
>
> "Yeah. Should have been my day off," she said as she hopped into one of
> the seats. She pressed the cigarette lighter button and took a pack out
> of her purse. "Figures."
>
> Building Suspense Lad pushed on the radio and turned the knob till he
> found a station he liked.
>
> "That sounds familiar. That tune. What is it?" asked Fuzzy.
>
> "The Theme from Jaws. This is the Building Suspense Music Station. My
> favorite station."
>
> Fuzzy rolled her eyes and clicked the radio off. "Just fly the damn
> Thingee. Fly it! Oh god." Fuzzy sighed to herself.
>
> But before Building Suspense Lad could do that a music that sounded like
> a sinister Barber Shop Quartet started to play on the radio.
>
> "Thought I told you..." Fuzzy started to say.
>
> "No, wait. It wasn't me -- it's the -- Damn! I knew this would -- it's
> possessed! The flight.thingee! By Satan!"
>
> <<Not Satan, foolish mortal!>> said a voice coming from the radio.
> <<Even worse. Worse than your feeble mind can imagine! Yes! For I am
> not Satan! No! I am Satan's -- BARBER!! Muhahahha!!! Prepare for a
> haircut. A haircut -- FROM HELL!!!! Muahhahahahahahhahah!!!!!!!>>
>
> "Oh, Jesus," said Fuzzy rolling her eyes. "Why? Why me?"
>
> And the Hangar doors opened as the Flight.Thingee possessed by satanic
> energy lifted off of the ground. Into the Air.
>
> Into the Great Beige Yonder.
>
>
> **** <<--BM-->> ****
>
> 11:50 AM
>
> In the top floor of the Washington Monument --
>
> Toony Stork looked out of the window. He was partially in his Irony Man
> suit. He was using special binoculars to look at the outside. At what
> was happening.
>
> There was a huge motorcade driving along Constitution Avenue. Police on
> motorcycles. Ambulances. Fire engines. Tanks. And Four Black well
> armored SUVs. One of which had the President of the Loonited States.
> Hexadecimal Luthor. The other three were filled with Important World
> Leaders from several countries. In the sky, he could see helicopters
> and various Freedom Chip Heroes flying around trying to spot potential
> trouble.
>
> And there was going to be trouble. They had been getting death threats,
> bomb threats, and other threats all week. One of the threats was from
> the Legion of Net.Villains who were planning on assassinating the
> President. Irony Man scanned the crowds for possible troublemakers, but
> couldn't really see much. Just some hippy protester types ranting about
> Freedom Chips. But something was going to happen.
>
> Why had Hex decided to have this signing outdoors? Out in the open? He
> was tempting fate. He wanted trouble. But why?
>
> Irony Man walked back to one of the empty tables that wasn't surround by
> police and FBI agents. There was a bottle of scotch on it and a shot
> glass. Irony Man sat down and poured some scotch into the glass and
> then stared at the glass. Cliche Dude would have loved this scene. He
> wasn't going to feel guilty about what was going to happen. It had to
> happen. It was right what was going to happen. He had no choice. It
> was the only way. The only way. He wouldn't feel guilty. No. He
> wouldn't.
>
> He rotated the shot glass and watched as the scotch swirled around the
> glass. Was he going to drink it?
Whenever mangoes are ripe
Should be easy enough to research
>No. Not this time. Maybe
> afterwards. Irony Man glanced at his golden Rolex watch. Not so gold
> now. Like everything else --
Stephanie Winston WOlfowitz wrote a whole thing in her book "Melania and Me", about how Trump has always worn a Rolex President, just like Lyndon Johnson, to give the impression of wealth. I guess men check out each others' watches. She said Melania used to be 24K and she is now only gold plated shell.
mk5000
And he would start to conduct his frantic silent
sonatas.
Our lessons went like this. He would open the book and point to different things, explaining, their purpose:
"Key! Treble! Bass! No sharps or flats! So this is C major! Listen now and play after me!"--Two Kinds
by Amy Tan
More information about the racc
mailing list