LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #131: Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Seven

[Drew Nilium]

On 12/15/2019 4:24 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
>    "Maybe I should stay with him tonight."
>    "Umm... okay," Master Blaster said and then looked
> around uncomfortably.

Yeesh there's an uncomfortable amount of "ha ha just kidding" queermisia in 
Martin's stories. x-x Not surprising things turned out like they did.

>    "Not like that," Frat Boy said.  "It's just that we
> don't know if we are ever going to get these people
> back.  I was thinking if it was me I would want to
> know that somebody cared.  Somebody other than Doctor
> Stomper I mean.  Somebody with actual feelings."

That's actually a really reasonable thing, tho, and I like it.

>    "That's not the point, Stomper," Adamant
> Authority-on-Everything told him.  "We can't afford to
> have you of all people disappear.  You have to let
> someone more expendable take the position."
>    Dr. Stomper gave a nod.  "I know.  You're right --
> the LNH does need me, but on the other hand it's also
> possible that the only way I'll find a key to this
> disappearing problem is if I vanish myself.

I mean, not unreasonable. And Stomper definitely isn't the kind of person who 
would agree to the idea of other people being expendable.

>    "This," Doctor Stomper said putting his hands on the
> control panel, "Is what I call an LNH Robot
> Duplication Machine.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN...

>    "Umm," Adamant Authority-on-Everything said with a
> worried expression, "Are you sure we should be doing
> this?  Keeping this info from the public and making
> all of these robo-duplicates?"
>    "I think at the moment this is our best move.

Narrator: It was not their best move.

>    Ultimate Ninja had been on vacation for two weeks
> fishing on the same river.  He was getting a bit
> annoyed with the whole process of baiting a hook,
> lowering the fishing line into the water and waiting
> for the fish to come to him and take the bait.
>    It suddenly dawned on him how unsatisfying a process
> this was, especially for a ninja!  While it may suit a
> ninja to lie in wait stalking his prey, it was not a
> form of attack that required any special skills: the
> method consisted entirely of baiting a hook and
> waiting.  It lacked honour.
>    Ultimate Ninja decided that he should find a way to
> attack the fish that utilized his unique skills.  He
> proceeded to pack up his fishing gear and head back to
> the hotel where he was staying.

You know, that's fun. <3

>    "But that doesn't explain why you would want it.
> The Rung of Revamp doesn't make you all powerful or
> anything: if anything it just turns you into a cooler,
> more modern version of what you were all along."

That's a surprisingly good summary.

>    Linguist Lass sighed.  "Okay, I admit it.  I want
> the rung for purely selfish reasons.  Being able to
> speak various languages isn't exactly a cool power.  I
> thought the Rung of Revamp could grant me a new set of
> powers."

Selfish reasons are fine, but they should have something to do with the whole 
story that's going on here? o3o

>    Ultimate Ninja waded out into the water and then
> stopped.  He concentrated first on slowing down his
> heart beat and then lowering his body temperature to
> that of the surrounding water.  He, in effect, became
> invisible to the fish swimming around him.
>    Ultimate Ninja continued to concentrate until he
> knew not only where all the fish were but also where
> they were most likely to move to next.  When the time
> came... he struck!  He moved so quickly that the fish
> he grabbed were not even aware of having been grabbed
> until he had broken their necks: thus the fish never
> so much as struggled and there were no tell tale waves
> in the water to alert the other fish.  Ultimate Ninja
> had managed to grab a dozen fish this way before the
> remaining fish around him realised the danger and swam
> away in fear.
>    Ultimate Ninja smiled with satisfaction.  He would
> be eating sashimi for days based on what he had been
> able to catch in mere moments!  But this still wasn't
> a great challenge for him.
>    He looked up into the surrounding mountains and
> wondered if there were any bears he could fight.

Yeah, I like that. X3

>    "Yeah."  He sighed.  "But mostly we all have to be
> there because it's only fair.  I mean, if you're not
> there when your name is called out does that mean
> they'll pick somebpdy else?"
>    "It would be a bit cowardly."

Hmmmm, fair.

>    "Yeah, it could be, but don't worry because not only
> did the Rung of Revamp make me wReamHack but it also
> instilled me with the ability to find again should
> anybody need it."
>    "Since when?"
>    "Since right now.  Seriously, it sounds a lot more
> plausible than just saying we stumbled across it."

Sure, why not!

>   
>    Soon wReamHack stum^H^H^H^Hwas able to use his
> tracking ability to find the Rung of Revamp.

X3 Okay that's genuinely funny.

>    "Wait," she said.  Soon the Rung of Revamp began to
> glow.  Linguist Lass's eyes widdened.  "Using the
> power of the Rung of Revamp I now become... LINGUIST
> LASS!"
>    "Uh huh," wReamHack said, "and what exactly has
> changed?"
>    "I have new powers," she said with a smile.  "In
> addition to being able to speak several different
> languages myself I now can make others speak different
> languages."

So, this is interesting. Traditionally, the Rung gives you a whole new heroic 
identity and set of powers - and in fact, this story acknowledges that. Later in 
the ILC, Fourth Wall Lass gets powered up without changing her identity - I 
presume, inspired by this story; and still later in 58.5, the Time Crapper gets 
powered up the same way. Later, Jeanne returned the Rung to its traditional 
function of revamping, with Deathspork: The Terminator. What does this mean? 
Well... I'm writing a story that will touch on that~

Drew "and hopefully I actually finish it at some point" Nilium