LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #137: Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Thirteen

[Drew Nilium]

On 2/2/2020 4:19 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
<snip>
> LNH Comics Presents #57 is by Jamas Enright.  It's Special Bonding Boy's
> turn!  Was Jordan Peele inspired by this issue?  And will our 2020 eyes find
> this story even more bleak and depressing?

...I remember this issue being nice and now I'm scared X3;

>         All the LNHers turned to see Special Bonding Boy with his hands
> clasped together and eyes open wide. "That's super. You choose me!"
> Clapping his hands, SBB made his first leadership announcement. "Okay
> everyone, gather in close... come on... get in there... you can get
> closer... right, now... everybody HUG! That's it, group hug!... Come on
> guys... Hey, I'm the leader now! If I say, group hug, then group hug!"
>         SBB basked in the feelings of friendship and uncomfortable
> boundary invasion. It was good to be him.

Heeheehee

>         Special Bonding Boy actually rolled his eyes at this. "Don't you
> know? Today is Looni.Earth Day! We've got to give our environment a
> great big hug just as hard as we can. Squeaky Clean, you can help me
> keep Ame.rec.a beautiful. Pizza Girl, with Hands-Across-America we can
> bring everyone in this nation together. Steak and Potatoes Man, when you
> hug a tree, you're hugging the Looni.Earth. It doesn't get any better
> than that!"
>         The three LNHers stared at Special Bonding Boy, but looking deep
> into those soulful eyes, they just couldn't bring themselves to point
> out how insane this idea was.

X3 <3

>         There were a few moments as a connection was made. The screen
> futzed and flickered as sub-etheric beams intertwined according to
> string theory

I love little details like that.

>         "We come looking for challenge, and for conquest. We have heard of
> the Legion, and will test our mettle against yours. We will destroy you
> with our might."
>         "That sounds fine," Special Bonding Boy replied, earning a
> surprised look from California Kid.

:3
>         "Come here," he motioned for Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy to come to
> him. Slowly, suspiciously, OABoy did. Ever so hesitantly, Steak and
> Potatoes Man reached out and put his arms around Ame.rec.a's Favourite
> Son and then squeezed tightly.
>         At first there was resistance, but Steak and Potatoes Man kept up
> the hug. Finally, "All right. Let's go hug trees. But only Ame.rec.an
> ones."

aaaaaaaaaaaaa CUTE!!

>         "I... visited the Virginia Tech memorial..."
>         "What? You should have said you were going! I could have organised
> some coverage from the local papers, get some face time on TV, perhaps
> even-"
>         Before PR Kid could even blink, Special Bonding Boy had moved. PR
> Kid was slammed against a wall, and could do no more than stare into
> SBB's eyes.
>         "No. More. Press," SBB hissed. "We are fragile creatures, making
> our way across this world, reaching out to others, wanting to be loved,
> to experience joy, to live out our lives without being hounded or made
> into a public spectacle. We in the LNH choose this life. Cho Seung-Hui
> choose his. And as a human being, he was just as fragile as everyone
> else. And in his fragile state, people died that day, an event we can
> only mourn.
>         "But what we will not do is prey upon those emotions. We will not
> use those people as an excuse to vent rabid ideas that condemn groups of
> people just because they shared some biological trait with that poor
> man. We will not show images of mourning thousands just to lead the news
> and make sure ratings are high.

Hahahaha okay I see what you mean about the bleak depressing part hahahahaaaaa @-@

>         "We will not judge those involved. But we will judge ourselves. Is
> there something more we could have done? If one person had had a kinder
> word for him, would this have happened? If our culture wasn't so screwed
> up, would he still be here?
>         "Maybe. Maybe not. The answers are not easy. But they are for us
> to search for, and not fodder for prime time."

But. This is an *extremely* fucking good response, and also, like... really 
shows that SBB isn't just "I can't deal with negative emotions so Let's Be 
Nice", he's "we *absolutely need* to be better to each other", and I connect to 
that so fucking hard. <3 <3 <3 This is my favorite ILC story.

>         "Please... I'm sorry about that... I shouldn't have..."
>         "No, no, I shouldn't have suggested anything. You're right..."
>         "Can we hug and make up?"
>         "Only if people are watching."

I also like how this balances "kindness begets kindness" with "these goofy 
flawed characters being imperfect in a fun way".

>         "The Homeless Ones are, well, homeless that have organised
> themselves. And I've talked to them and they are willing to help our
> effort here."

Aw, hell yeah <3 Very relevant to recent stuff.

>         The leader raised a armour encased hand, ready to strike Special
> Bonding Boy down as soon as he was near enough. "We will kill you all."
>         Special Bonding Boy halted just outside of the leader's range. He
> smiled beatifically. "Do you really want to do this?"

But notably, not out of the range of his powers~ :3

>         "...what?"
>         "Do you really want to kill us all?"
>         "Well... you know... I'm a Dorf. That's what we do."
>         "But is it really what you want to do? You can tell me. I'll
> understand."
>         "Well... um... the killing thing... it is fun, don't get me
> wrong... but... you know... sometimes... I just..."
>         "Yes?"
>         "Wonder if there isn't something more we could do?"
>         Special Bonding Boy closed the distance, took the leader's arm,
> and led him back towards the ship. "There is something, if you are
> willing, you could help me with."

:3 This especially makes sense with LNH v2 #50, where we revealed that the 
weakness of Dorfs is that they're unused to feeling emotions other than anger 
and are easily overwhelmed by them.

>         "Uh, well... I'm currently in Paradise, Nevada," Pizza Girl
> responded. "We've got a slight problem. There are plenty of people who
> are willing, but we just can't get them into place to fill in the gaps.
> There's lots of desert here with hardly anyone able to fill them up!"
>         "Don't worry, Pizza Girl. Help is on the way. Just let them know
> where you need them to fill in. They're homing in on your signal and
> should be there any minute."
>         There was a low roaring noise and dust started to fly. Looking up,
> Pizza Girl saw a large battle cruiser block out the sun on the horizon.
> It slowly landed on the edge of the town and within moments Pizza Girl
> found herself facing a platoon of Dorf, with many more in eye's view.
>         The leader reached out to her. "Take my hand. I'm a stranger in
> Paradise."

X3 I love it

> Special Bonding Boy sat in front of the TV screen, sitting by himself in
> a darkened room, waiting for the final minutes to pass by before he too
> disappeared. He could feel the love all around him, just as real as the
> tears on his cheek.
>         Although he would vanish, possibly never to return, he knew he had
> left the world a better place...

aaaaaaaaaaaaa. This is so sweet. In the middle of all this bullshit it makes me 
sincerely happy. ;.;

Drew "stay in this softness for a bit" Nilium