LNH: Lone Boy & Never Lad Special Edition #1

[Drew Perron]

On 2/5/2020 11:59 PM, Ben Rawluk wrote:
> LONE BOY & NEVER LAD SPECIAL EDITION
> "Probably a hallucination"
> By Ben Rawluk

YAY a new Ben story! :D

> Calvin is this close to giving up on the transmat altogether and taking public 
> transit instead - but who takes a bus to save the world?

 >.> <.< *Writer's Block Person raises their hand*

> Right now he's steadying himself against a street light outside a dive bar in 
> the Shimbleshanks while dry-heaving from the sudden dislocation from the peaceful
> beeps of the LNHQ Monitor Room to an eerily silent cobblestone street.

This is known locally as "getting shimbled".

> He wobbles when he stands up, and outright yelps when something hits the glass of the front 
> window and a figure careens through it, slamming right into the mailbox down on the curb. He
> lurches for the street light all over again.
> 
> Some net.hero.

Aw, sweetie.

> Calvin reaches out to help him up, their fingers threading together. He knows 
> they look ridiculous, even with his red and blue tights, or the layers of
> thrift shop clothes Max has on under that long plaid coat. Calvin has those
> big honking ears and is like a foot taller than Max, a trash-talking hedgehog
> of a man. "Looks like a black eye," Calvin says, crowding up against Max and
> tilting his head back to examine him. Probably a little too close for two
> net.heroes in the middle of a professional situation. Guess they're going to
> be on probation forever. "At least I don't have to ask what happened."

Intimacy! Queer intimacy! <3.<3 :sparkle emoji:

> Max reaches up to encircle Calvin's wrists and pull his hands away from his
> face. He runs a tongue over his fangs. They're still standing too close. 

SPARKLE EMOJI

> He says it but he smiles, because they both know he isn't going to do that. 
> Calvin is very careful about not using his super-power on Max, not after the 
> first time. Even when the thing living inside his chest is whispering to him.

Gosh, this is what this style of writing is meant for, expressing the emotions 
that sit deep in your chest and swirl and shiver, dark edges and warm glows.

> That's when they see her. A tall, as tall as Calvin, with silver hair shaved.
> Eyes behind dark sunglasses. Cropped black jacket over a white, white bodysuit.
> He recognizes her even without the flaming, spectral chainsaw. She reminds him
> of the Terminator, but maybe she's always reminded him of the Terminator.

:o hot

> Calvin's jaw tightens. Three years and she still knows how to push his buttons.
> 
> Max clears his throat. "So I found your sister."
> 
> "Gerund Girl," she says, glaring at him.

GERUND GIRL! :D :D :D YES I love her!!

> She squints at Max. "But then what are you doing here? I think I beat you up once. 
> Aren't you one of Boss Emoji's minions?"
> 
> Max crosses his arms. The vein is visible on the side of his head. He won't look 
> at Calvin, carries that familiar mix of anger and humiliation in his face. "Angry
> Face," he says. Max hates when it comes up, that he used to be a net.villain's
> henchman. "I'm reformed."

Awwwwwww I like him even more :D

> "Geri," Calvin says, stepping in between them. "You've been missing for *three years*."

This is following up on the FLASH! story I'm so stoked :D

> "You're meddling in ancient powers, Calvin!"
> 
> "So are you!"

That's the best way you can respond to that sentence I think. Even if your name 
isn't Calvin.

> "So what are you calling yourself these days, Angry Face?" Every i-n-g she says
> tastes like copper.

Heeheehee I love that

> "You call yourself Lone Boy? But hang around a super-team with like a thousand 
> members? Okay."

It works for Wolverine.

> He is working on controlling his anger, on channelling it; he sees Special
> Bonding Boy a couple times a week to talk through his super-powered intimacy
> issues.

Relatable!

> "Well, the last time I saw you, you were a net.villain."
> 
> "Hey, I'm on a genuine redemption arc."

Hell yeah you are. <3 <3 <3

> "I told you. Don't be an asshole to my boyfriend." His mouth tastes like
> sparklers when he says the word don't.

Hell yeah it does!! <3

> "If you had to join the bloody Legion of Net.Heroes, you didn't have to 
> summon a logodemon. You're tall, you could have been Stature Lad."
> 
> "There's already a Stature Queen."
> 
> "Of course there bloody is."

But is there a Posture Prince?

> Max snorts. "Uh, you have a giant ING on the back of your black leather jacket."

He's got you there

> "The House of Spoilers. Or Speculation. One of the two. How long did you say I gone for?"
> 
> "Three years."
> 
> Something shifts in her face, like she can't decide whether to be disgusted or pleased by
> that. "It felt like fifty," she says. "You never know if what you're looking at is the
> future or just, like a theory."

I am fascinated and I must hug her

> He fishes his communicator out of his utility belt and notices that Max has 
> crossed his arms, is gnawing on his split lip and looking anxious. "I'm not going 
> to say anything about you getting into another fight."
> 
> Max grins, hissing when his split lip cracks. "Thank you, dear."
> 
> "Yeah, yeah." He looks between them. "Both of you behave."

This is really good dialog.

> There are enough people milling about, watching him, that he feels compelled 
> to stand there with his communicator in hand and says, "Don't eavesdrop," loud
> enough that everybody turns as one and faces away from him.
> 
> He knows he shouldn't do that, shouldn't use his super-power on civilians, but
> he just needs a minute to process everything.

*Mega* relatable.

> "Never Lad to LNHQ," he says. He wishes he could just check in with a text, but
> Stomper is still so old school about everything. "Checking in from the Shimbleshanks."

Mashup Laq probably drives him nutty with that kind of thing.

> Max's past isn't some big secret; they talked about it during the five-hour
> stake-out that Max considers their first date, seeing as how he bought Calvin
> dinner in the middle of it.

Cuuuuuuuuute

> And then, more quietly he asks, "How was it this time? The transmat?"
> 
> "I mean, I didn't puke."
> 
> "Progress!"

Heeheehee

> "And we found my sister."
> 
> Stomper sighs, again, louder this time. It's not like the LNH had never heard
> of his sister when he showed up on their doorstep looking for help. Being on a
> heroic quest had actually helped his application, apparently. "Good," he grinds
> out eventually. "That's great."

Hmmmmm, I'm a li'l confused at the subtext here - he's not a fan but I don't get 
why :o

(...I mean, other than her general, uh. Demeanor.)

> Geri and Max are now yelling at each other. How long ago did he cast those spells?
> 
> "She might be more comfortable in a hotel instead, actually."
> 
> They're hitting each other now and his sister is swinging around a flaming
> chainsaw. "You know what, Doc? I'm going to need to call you back."

Heeheehee

> Calvin isn't really paying attention. "Call you back," he says, and then he's
> pulling the communicator away from his ear while rushing forward over the
> cobblestones. "Hey," he says, rolling his eyes. "Don't…"
> 
> Still. Could have gone worse.

:D Love it.

> Never Lad (Calvin Munro), Gerund Girl (Geri Munro) and Lone Boy (Max Mitchell)
> created by me, copyright 2020.

Hmmmm yes, wiki editing time

> A feel a bit like the LNH author from Brigadoon, emerging from the waves every
> once in a while.

And always worth the wait!

> These characters have been rolling around in my head in various forms for a bit
> and they finally forced their way out. Gerund Girl dates back a couple years,
> and was in the first issue of that FLASH! anthology series. Never Lad has been
> percolating for a couple months. Lone Boy basically wrote himself? Hopefully it
> isn't terrible!

It's not! In fact it's the opposite of terrible, it's terrific! :D

Drew "super special edition" Nilium