LNH: Hungry, Hungry Sabertooths! #36: "Socks to Be You"

Drew Nilium pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Dec 14 16:04:39 PST 2020

Issue #36: "Socks to Be You"
A tale of wonder and terror, by Drew Nilium


It was a lovely, sunny day in Drayer Park, and UltraKiwi Wondersock was not

He grunted as Multi-Tasking Man's body hauled machinery out of the truck.
thingee, setting up the observation module for the - heh, heh - cure.thingee.
It wasn't heavy, but he felt... strange. Sluggish.

Sluggish not in the motion of these stolen muscles, but in his consciousness,
the flow of his thoughts between his flickering soul and the world beyond. Like
a computer running a program with a memory leak, taking up more and more

Bah! This pilfered body was probably getting another human disease, and not
even one that turned you into a magnificent monster! Well, he wouldn't need it
for much longer, heh heh heh...

"Thank you, thank you..." Dr. Stomper looked over the readouts, Sister State-
the-Obvious hovering over his shoulder. UltraKiwi Wondersock chuckled to
himself; these simple instruments would find nothing wrong with his devilish
payload! Everything was going completely to plan!

Well, except for the part where Dr. Stomper and Sister State-the-Obvious had
fallen to their knees without launching the thing *what was happening*

"Something's... wrong..." said Sister State-the-Obvious, hand over her heart,

"It's as if... I'm seeing double..." gasped Dr. Stomper, leaning on the console.
"Of course... we're in... two places at once... stretched between multiple
layers... of Hypertext Time..."

UltraKiwi Wondersock squeezed Multi-Tasking Man's fist. "Bah!" he shouted, and
stepped forward, shoving the two of them out of the way.

"Multi-Tasking Man, what... what are you doing..." Dr. Stomper reached up to
grasp feebly at his friend's costume.

UltraKiwi Wondersock kicked his hand away! "Fools! For too long, I've had to
play along with your silly hero games - no more!!"

"That's... that's not Multi-Tasking Man!" groaned Sister State-the-Obvious.

UltraKiwi Wondersock reached for the big red button-- and found himself moving
slowly, his mulscles not responding-- the sluggishness growing exponentially,
freezing him in place-- "What... is... *happening*!?"

His mouth, his lips, moved of their own accord. "For... too... long..." His
body took a deep breath. "No... MORE!"

His muscles thrust out and another mind thrust into his brain, Multi-Tasking
Man's consciousness expanding back to its rightful place, driving UltraKiwi
Wondersock out!

"NOOOOOOOO!" A kiwi-shaped form in black and red emerged from Multi-Tasking
Man's body! "I was so close, SO CLOSE!"

"Heh," heh'd Multi-Tasking Man. "That's what you get for... the... thing..." He
stumbled and fell-- and his hand mashed right into the big red button.

"Yes..." UltraKiwi Wondersock watched the cure.thingee lift up into the air.
"YES!" He cackled in megalomaniacal glee. "I can still do it! i just need-- a

His spirit sped thru the air, drawing on the energy of the Loonivearth's
pessimism and pain. "Right.. *there!*"

Ven-Dorr hummed to himself, wondering when the West Coast Brotherhood would get
around to breaking him out-- and shouted in alarm as UltraKiwi Wondersock
entered his body! "Not agaaaaaaain!"

Ven-Dorr's yell of alarm turned into a growl. His panels unfolded, his form
shifting, changing, growing - not into a sabertooth, but into an enormous,
mechanical kiwi, with a woven-titanium sock over his head!

"GWAHAHA!" MechaKiwi Wondersock exulted in triumph!


Drew "can we finish it this time, you think?" Nilium

More information about the racc mailing list