LNH20: Bite-Size Tales of the LNH v20 #21: "Isekai Can't Stand It"

[Drew Perron]

The Legion of Net.Heroes! Once, the premier heroes, worshipped by the public - 
now, an underground organization, rebelling against the powers that be!

Yet even in the Legion's underground headquarters, deep within the Library of 
Infinite Stories, some things do not change! Those whose hearts yearn to bring 
the world Justice find their way to - Try-Out Day!

Fearless Leader sat behind a reading desk, the Public Defender sitting next to 
him with a stack of forms. A line of costumed newbies stretched out in front of 
him. Just another day on the job.

There had been so many members that he had once considered - in his own 
thoughts, or to his closest confidants - to be a burden on the Legion. 
Constantly-Loses-Things Lad. Manga Girl. Ultimate Mercenary. C'mon. Fire 
Extinguisher Lass. But in the end, all of them had played vital and important 
roles in safeguarding the world and its people, stepping up to the task and 
proving themselves worthy.

Well. Maybe not C'mon.

Still, the lesson was firm in his mind. No potential member should be rejected 
simply because of having "silly" powers, or being inexperienced, or awkward, or 
"annoying". One and all, they deserved a chance to shine.

The next applicant stepped forward, a teenage East Asian lady with a stylish 
sidecut, wearing a red skirt, white tights, a red vest over a white long-sleeved 
shirt, and a pair of red sneakers.

"And your name, ma'am?" asked Fearless Leader.

The prospective net.hero took a deep breath. 
"I-Can't-Believe-I-Died-and-Was-Reincarnated-in-Another-Universe-as-a-Net.hero-When-My-Only-Talent-Is-Making-Up-Excessively-Detailed-Plans-for-How-to-Improve-Society 
Lass." She gave Fearless Leader a winning smile.

Fearless Leader licked his lips.

Fearless Leader drummed his fingers on the table.

Fearless Leader blew a breath out his nose, and nodded. "Thank you, ma'am. 
Public Defender, could you please take down her personal information? I'll just 
be one moment in the soundproof reading nook."

Public Defender nodded and pulled a form off the stack. "So, which of those 
words weren't capitalized?"

"And, in, as, a, for, to."

"Right..." Public Defender wrote down all one-hundred-and-sixty-nine characters 
of 
I-Can't-Believe-I-Died-and-Was-Reincarnated-in-Another-Universe-as-a-Net.hero-When-My-Only-Talent-Is-Making-Up-Excessively-Detailed-Plans-for-How-to-Improve-Society 
Lass's name in neatly printed letters.

"Hey," said 
I-Can't-Believe-I-Died-and-Was-Reincarnated-in-Another-Universe-as-a-Net.hero-When-My-Only-Talent-Is-Making-Up-Excessively-Detailed-Plans-for-How-to-Improve-Society 
Lass, "do you hear that? Sort of like... someone a long distance away, screaming 
into the void about how silly and ridiculous his life has become?"

"That's just the pipes. Is there a shorter form of your name for ease of narration?"

"Oh, uh..." 
I-Can't-Believe-I-Died-and-Was-Reincarnated-in-Another-Universe-as-a-Net.hero-When-My-Only-Talent-Is-Making-Up-Excessively-Detailed-Plans-for-How-to-Improve-Society 
Lass thought for a moment. "Do you have a Reincarnated Lass?"

"Not under that name, tho you may want to have a chat with Otherkin Lad sometime 
soon." Public Defender took Reincarnated Lass's date of birth, contact 
information, summary of powers (basically as her name implied), weaknesses she 
was comfortable revealing, and capsule backstory, and stamped the form, pulling 
a stub off the bottom. "Here's your receipt, and since we don't have the Peril 
Room available, Nerf Girl will be conducting the trial-by-fire. Down that hall, 
to the right. Hope you survive the experience!"

Reincarnated Lass headed off, and Fearless Leader returned to the table. He 
adjusted his collar, wiped his brow, and sat down.

One and all, they deserved a chance to shine, and it was his duty to make sure 
they got that chance. No matter how silly it got.

He took a fortifying sip of water and called, "Next?"

****

Drew "can't let light novels get one up on us" Nilium