LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #127: Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Three
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Nov 10 13:08:44 PST 2019
You can sift through the racc list archive
https://lists.eyrie.org/pipermail/racc/
or you can try google groups racc for these stories that make up the third
section of Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig (or Crisis).
LNH Comics Presents #39 is by Martin Phipps. With LNH Leaders disappearing left
and right -- now no one really wants to be leader anymore. Obviously a new system
needs to be created to decide who will be leader -- perhaps one where some hero
pulls a paper out of a hat? But who could do that?
And LNHCP #40 also by Martin -- with Captain Continuity gone time for Pulls-Paper-
Out-of-Hats Lad to do his thing. And it looks like Cheesecake Eater Lad will be
the next leader. And if he disappears does that mean that for the rest of April
everyone will have suffer Writer's Block Woman's cooking?
Find all that out in..
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #127
=====================
Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Three
=====================
From: "Martin Phipps" <martin... at yahoo.com>
Subject: LNH: LNH Comics Presents #39: INFINITE LEADERSHIP CRISIS Episode Four
Date: Wed, 4 Apr 2007 03:23:30 +0000 (UTC)
INFINITE LEADERSHIP CRISIS
EPISODE 4
April 4th, 2007
"I should be LNH leader!" Adam Evers adamantly
insisted. "I'm the qualified one!" Various
legionaires laughed him off and shook their heads.
"I'm not sure you even want the job," Doctor Stomper
said.
"Oh? And why is that?" the Authority-on-Everything
asked.
Kid Recap spoke up. "Because the last three people
who have been LNH leader - Fearless Leader, Irony Man
and Catalyst Lass - have all mysteriously
disappeared."
"Thank you," Stomper said coldly.
"No problem," Kid Recap said. "See you tomorrow,"
he added before he left.
"Sure," Stomper said, "if we can't wrap this up here
and now."
"We need to find out what happened to them," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
"Has anybody considered the possibility that
Ultimate Ninja could be the one behind it?" Master
Blaster asked.
"Now hold on!" Cheesecake Eater Lad said
indignantly, trying to support his friend and master.
"Here me out! I mean, if he gets rid of all the
would be leaders then it sort of cements his control
on the legion, doesn't it? And he is a ninja - the
Ultimate Ninja in fact. Who else could get in and out
of people's rooms and take them away without anybopdy
noticing."
Doctor Stomper smiled and nodded. "Theory Man
suggested that already."
"And?"
"His theories are always wrong. Which makes him
very useful in cases like this because eliminating
possible theories saves us time and helps us narrow
down our investigation to those theories that actually
viable."
"Couldn't we just not have a leader?" Cheesecake
Eater Lad asked. "Then we don't have an obvious
target."
Doctor Stomper pursed his lips. "No. We need a
leader."
"But if nobody wants the job..."
"I sure as hell don't want the job!" Sarcastic Lad
said.
"Get me Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad," Doctor Stomper
said.
"So now we're looking for the most expendable
person?" Sarcastic Lad asked.
"Not at all," Doctor Stomper said. "It just occurs
to me that if nobody wants to be the leader now then
that will make the job of choosing the leader that
much harder. wReamHack?"
"Yeah?"
"Write down the names of everybody here and put the
names in a hat."
"We're going to have Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad
choose the leader of the LNH?" Master Blaster asked.
"You've got a better idea?" Doctor Stomper asked.
"Perhaps you'd like to volunteer for the job."
"No," Master Blaster said. "That's fine."
Doctor Stomper nodded. "Okay. Everybody listen up.
We're going to put all of your names in a hat and
have Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad pull your name out of
a hat and whoever has their name called will be the
next LNH leader. Is that okay with everybody?"
Every one there nodded in agreement. "Is the hat
ready?"
"Right here," wReamHack said.
"That was fast."
"We've got an author who doesn't stop to describe
the room. Of course things happen quickly."
"Fair enough. Where's Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad?"
"I'm right here," he said stepping forward.
"Okay," Stomper said. "Last time. Does everybody
agree with this?" There were no desenters. "Okay, P
POOHL, do your thing."
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad reached into the hat and
pulled out a name.
"Well?"
"Coward Lad."
"No!" Coward Lad said. "I don't want to die."
"We don't know for sure if anybody is dead," Doctor
Stomper assured him.
"I don't want to disappear! I'm too young to go!
What about Old Comics Man! Make him leader!"
"We all agreed..."
"But...!"
"It's okay!" Captain Continuity said. "I'll do it.
I'll become leader."
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"
"Hold on!" Doctor Stomper said. "What does
everybody else say? Who agrees to making Captain
Continuity Leader." A clear majority of legionaires
present raised their hands. "Okay. You're it."
"Congratulations, Chet!" Bad Timing Boy said.
"Um, Brad," Bizarre Boy said, "Chet's making a
sacrafice here. There's a good chance that he'll
disappear at midnight and we won't be able to find him
again. This is not a time to celebrate!"
"Oops," Brad said. "My bad."
"It's okay," Captain Continuity said. "So, tell me,
Doc, how's the investigation coming along?"
"Not too good," Doctor Stomper admitted. "Even with
three abductions, we don't have enough evidence to
work with."
"I say it was aliens," Adamant
Authority-on-Everything argued.
Doctor Stomper rolled his eyes. "Based on what?
Watching three seasons of the X-Files?"
"They could have beamed them out!"
"I stand corrected. The theory wasn't based on the
X-Files: it was based on Star Trek."
"Do you have a better theory?" AAoE asked. "You're
Doctor Stomper!"
"My theory is that somebody -or something - is
kidnapping our leaders every day at midnight. And so
far that is all the evidence is telling us."
Captain Continuity spoke up. "I volunteer to be
placed under full surveillance. I don't want to
disappear any more than any body else."
"This is a very brave thing you are doing," Stomper
told him.
"Hey. I just want my teammates back. So what do
you say about getting me wired up?"
Doctor Stomper grimaced. "I wish Kid Kirby were
here. We could use some Kirbytech right now."
"I think I can whip up a transmitter that's good
over a million miles," Contraption Man said.
"Can you fit it in under my costume?" Captain
Continuity asked. "It has to disappear with me."
Contraption Man grimaced. "The smaller it is the
shorter the range. Maybe a few thousand miles."
"That should be more than sufficient Doctor Stomper
said."
Captain Continuity nodded. "Alright then. Let's
set it up."
Captain Continuity is Mystic Mongoose's
Fearless Leader is Dave Van Domelen's
Catalyst Lass is Elisabeth Riba's
Irony Man is Doug Moran's
Dr. Stomper is T. M. Neeck's
Adamant Authority on Everything, Sister State-the-Obvious, Theory Man
and wReamHack are all Raymond "wReam"
Bingham's
Sarcastic Lad is Gary St. Lawrence's
Cheesecake Eater Lad is M. Jotham Millheiser's
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad is Arthur Spitzer's
Bad-Timing Boy is Vernon H. Harmon's
Contraption Man is Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes's
Coward Lad is co-owned by Cory Smith & Tom Russell
Martin
From: "Martin Phipps" <martin... at yahoo.com>
Subject: [LNH] LNH Comics Presents #40: Infinite Leadership Crisis Episode Five
Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2007 00:24:15 +0000 (UTC)
LNH COMICS PRESENTS #40
INFINITE LEADERSHIP CRISIS
EPISODE 5
April 5th, 2007
Just as the LNH were gathering to choose their next
leader, Deja Dude appeared amongst them.
"Hey, everybody?" Deja Dude said. "What's up?"
"Nothing much," Master Blaster said.
"Nothing except that several of our members are now
missing and presumed dead," Sarcastic Lad added.
"Eh?" Deja Dude said. "Who? What happened to
them?"
Kid Recap spoke up. "After Ultimate Ninja went on
vacation, several members of the LNH became leaders
for a day, including Fearless Leader, Irony Man,
Catalyst Lass and Captain Continuity. Each of them
disappeared at the end of the day at midnight."
"I see," Deja Dude said.
"So now you are here to save us?" Special Bonding
Boy asked hopefully.
"Actually, no," Deja Dude admitted. "I'm here
because April 5th is tomb sweeping day in Taiwan so
its a day off and I thought I'd just pop in for a
visit."
"But now you can take over as LNH leader as save us
all from--"
Deja Dude looked at his watch. "Oh my goodness!
Look at the time! You know, with the differences in
time zones being what they are I can't stay long." He
feigned a yawn. "It'll be time for bed soon. Sorry.
Got to go!" He vanished.
Doctor Stomper grimaced. "Alright. Where were we?"
"We were about to pick the next LNH leader," Pulls-
Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad said.
"Indeed," Doctor Stomper said. "And are you ready?"
"I've got the hat right here,"
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad said.
"Then proceed," Doctor Stomper said.
"WAIT!"
"What's wrong, Cheesecake-Eater Lad?"
"I think we're making a mistake."
"What do you mean?"
Cheesecake Eater Lad sighed deeply. "This all
started when Ultimate Ninja left to go on vacation."
"Yes. So?"
"So maybe we should be devoting our efforts to
looking for the Ninja. Perhaps this will all be over
when he gets back and the sooner he returns the
better."
"Or perhaps the timing of these disappearances was
coincidental with the Ninja leaving and if he were to
return now and assume his duties as LNH leader then he
too would disappear."
"You don't seriously believe that, do you?"
Doctor Stomper shrugged his shoulders. "It really
doesn't matter what I believe. It is up to the next
leader of the LNH to decide our next course of
action."
Cheesecake Eater Lad nodded. "Alright then.
Pulls-Paper-Out?"
"Yes?"
"Pull away."
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad pulled out the name of
the next LNH leader. "Wow. This is interesting." He
looked at Cheesecake Eater Lad. "The next LNH
leader... is you." He announced it to everybody.
"Cheesecake Eater Lad is the next LNH leader."
"Does everybody agree?" Doctor Stomper asked.
"Various people nodded." At this point the whole
affirmation process seemed anticlimactic.
"Alright then," Cheesecake Eater Lad said with grim
determination. "Where's John? Where's Sally?"
John and Sally, Ultimate Ninja's secretary, stepped
forward. "We're here." John said.
"Did Ultimate Ninja lead an address where he could
be reached?"
John shook his head. "Under the circumstances, we
asked he remain incommunicado. It wouldn't have been
a real vacation if we could have contacted him, would
it?"
Cheesecake Eater Lad grimaced. "Great. Just
great." He looked around. "Did he tell any of you
where he was going?"
"He was carrying a fishing pole when he left,"
Easily Discovered Man Lite pointed it.
"He might have been planning to go fishing
somewhere," Sister State-the-Obvious said.
"That helps," Sarcastic Lad said. "All we need is
to look for him near a body of water. One with fish."
Cheesecake Eater Lad rolled his eyes.
Unfortunately, Sarcastic Lad was right: it was
hopeless; Ultimate Ninja was a ninja, the ultimate
ninja in fact, and the one thing a ninja can do best
is disappear.
aLLiterative Lass, Cheesecake Eater Lad's wife
started to cry. "Don't Disappear, Dear! our
Daughter...!"
"I know. I know," he said, holding her in his arms.
He looked at Doctor Stomper. "Is there any hope?
Any hope at all?"
Doctor Stomper mused for a moment. "Of course. We
only assumed that the past four disappearances are, in
fact, a trend. They could, in fact, be four unrelated
disappearances owing to four different unrelated
circumstances that would not necessarily be valid in
your case in which case you would continue to be here
tomorrow morning."
"But you don't seriously believe that, do you?"
"Not really."
aLLiterative Lass looked in his eyes. "we Have to
Have Hope."
Cheesecake Eater Lad thought for a moment. "If this
is my last day with the LNH then I will have to spend
the day doing what I do best, namely making
cheesecake."
Steak and Potatoes Man stepped forward. "And I will
help you," he said. "I only ask that it be an
_American_ cheesecake."
Cheesecake Eater Lad thought for a moment. "How
does a cheeseburger cheesecake sound then?"
"It would be my honour to help you create it!" he
said.
Sarcastic Lad laughed. "If only we could then
harness its power and use it to give our enemies heart
attacks."
"I guess we could always make them eat it," Master
Blaster suggested.
Sarcastic Lad rolled his eyes. "You still haven't
learned the art of sarcasm, grasshopper!"
TO BE CONTINUED
Cheesecake Eater Lad is M. Jotham Millheiser's
Kid Recap is Josh Geurink's
Captain Continuity is Mystic Mongoose's
Fearless Leader is Dave Van Domelen's
Catalyst Lass is Elisabeth Riba's
Irony Man is Doug Moran's
Dr. Stomper is T. M. Neeck's
Adamant Authority on Everything, Ultimate Ninja, Sister State-the-
Obvious and Special Bonding Boy are Raymond "wReam" Bingham's
Sarcastic Lad is Gary St. Lawrence's
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad is Arthur Spitzer's
aLLiterative Lass is Charles Fitzgerald's
Easily Discovered Man Lite is Rob Rogers's
Steak and Potatoes Man is uplink's
Master Blaster is mine.
Deja Dude is me.
Martin
==========
Next Week: More leaders! More disappearing -- Part IV!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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