LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #75: Birth Of A Villain Part Fifteen

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu May 30 23:48:28 PDT 2019

On 8/26/2018 4:42 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> And with #37 Saxon Brenton returns.  It's epilogue time!  And will
> we have a bunch of spoilers for cascades that take place after this
> cascade, but were written before this epilogue was written?  (Yes!)

Yes well >-> <-<

> And with #38 Jessica "Jaelle" Ihimaera-Smiler steps in with another
> epilogue.  And will Writer's Block Woman and Mouse insult Saxon's
> home country and will I say, 'Hey!  That's my job!'?  (Hmm)

X3 <3 I love Jaelle

> Blue Light Productions, bemused at how fast the cascade was finished
>    off


> Cover shows some of the Legionnaire's sitting around and looking
> bored, saying, "Well I don't know. What do you want to do?"

X3 I can see how much Saxon was dissatisfied by the anticlimactic parts of the 
ending. That said, it left a lot of room for stuff like this.

>       He shrugged. "Mostly it is. But we've crossed the dimensional
> barrier into the Dreamtime, so the landscape can get a bit strange."
>       "Actually," said Lenny the squirrel from the pilot's seat,
> "Alcheringa is the Real World of which the Looniearth is just a
> shadow. So really it's your sky that's strange."

I love off-the-cuff statements like that

>       "So we're nearly there, then?" asked Insomnia Lad somewhat
> wistfully as he petted Irving, the giant carnivorous mutant platypus
> that he had taken a liking to (the other three were down the back of
> the flight.thingee in the storage locker, which had somehow
> temporarily developed an LNHHQ-like ability to grow large enough to
> accommodate the (numerically) small menagerie of giant critters).

I love that this is being followed up on.
>       "So, okay Lenny, what I really want to know is this:" said
> FWLass. "After Ultimate Ninja put his foot down and said, no, we
> couldn't dig a moat around the LNHHQ to keep the platypuses in,


> what
> made you think of the Aboriginal Dreamtime as a place where they could
> stay? And for that matter, how come you know how to navigate there?"
>       Lenny shrugged. "I come from there. It's home."
>       There was a pause as people thought about this. Chinese Guy
> smiled the smile of anticipation of someone who just *knew* what the
> next question would be.


>       Fourth Wall Lass considered. "You're not another shapechanging
> Taoist spirit, are you?"
>       "No."
>       "Oh good."
>       "I'm a shapechanging Dreamtime spirit."
>       "Oh, of course," she deadpanned. "Silly me. I should have
> realised."

Heeheehee. <3 Which makes sense - Saxon is adapting the Hong Kong fantasy tropes 
that Crazy Guy is based on to the milieu he's based in.

>       Chinese Guy knew that as a yabon spirit Lenny had no true form of
> his own and that the very notion of being stuck in a single shape was
> upsetting for him. He marvelled that Lenny was able to speak calmly
> about it, but at the same time he could see the warning signs that
> the other net.heroes couldn't that Lenny was starting to get himself
> worked up. He interrupted to defuse the tension. "I would never have
> expected Marmoo's curse to have an up side to it," he said gently.
>       Lenny sighed. "Me neither.

Must hug

> Anyway, if you can't keep Irving and
> her pals in Net.ropolis, then the next best place that I can think of
> is to let them settle down in Alcheringa. Nice friendly place which
> doesn't just have spirit creatures, but is also home to all sorts of
> megafauna that have been extinct in the mundane world for thousands
> of years. Giant platypuses should fit in just nicely with the giant
> kangaroos and koalas, and the likes of the diprotodonts."

Oh hell yeah <3 <3 <3 I am super on-board

>       "Male platypuses have a little spur on their back legs on their
> ankles," Chinese Guy explained. "Looks kind of like a sixth toe at
> first glance. It's what they use to inject their venom when they're
> fighting."
>       "Venom!? They're venomous!?"
>       "Of course they're bloody venomous!

Heeheeheehee. Platypi are rad.

>       "Uh-huh," she confirmed. "Anyway, I guess the Writer is trying to
> tie off that loose end. Obviously, if Lenny's from the Dreamtime, it
> was *him* that Father Brown was detecting as an extradimensional."

To be fair, it *is* a

>       "Why did you insist on Mouse not coming?" Insomnia Lad asked,
> curious.
>       "Because we're going a place where there are dingos, and I don't
> trust that bastard Writer not to try one final attempt to pull an
> Azaria Chamberlain joke."


>       "True. Unless it happens off panel, like that legal battle
> between wReamicus and Father Brown."
>       "I still can't believe that Green Eggs Hates Spham tried to kill
> Father Brown by dumping him in a black hole," said Lenny. "I mean,
> didn't he realise that it's only normal people who inevitably die when
> you stuff them into a Schwartzchild radius? Nine times out of ten the
> heroes and villains just fall through the singularity and out the
> other side"

Yeah, that was kinda ignored.

>       "Yeah. The _Birth Of A Villain_ cascade happens before the
> _Mutton Mania_ cascade, and _Mutton Mania_ led into the conclusion of
> the _Saviours Of The Net_ cascade. The big fight scene at the end of
> _Saviours Of The Net_ was when New Look Lass and Minority Miss were
> lost into the dimension of Real Life -1 in the Reality Check arc in
> _Minority Miss_, which is what prompted Weirdness Magnet to come
> looking for help from the Legion in _Birth Of A Villain_ #31."
>       "Head... hurts..." announced Chinese Guy.

This was eventually solved by Lalo retconning it so that WM traveled back from 
an alternate 2001 (where BoaV was still going two years later) to the mainline 1999.

>       "By the way Fourth Wall Lass," said Insomnia Lad, changing the
> topic. "If we're tying off loose ends, why was wReamicus Maximus so
> keen on keeping Dvandom Force from becoming involved in the storyline
> when he was busily dragging in everyone else in sight?"
>       "Well, Brenton has a completely different idea from Rogers, but
> basically he thought that wReamicus was going to use a method of
> tapping into Dvandom's power that would have been interfered with by
> the presence of Dvandom Force. A type of feedback loop thing. That's
> why wReamicus didn't want Dvandom Force, or any of Dvandom's other
> characters around: just them being present would have upset his plans,
> regardless of whether they physically opposed him or not.

That's nice and meta. :> Very appropriate for this story.

> When the
> Church of the Fourth Wall abandoned wReamicus for an alliance with the
> Nodakommandos to summon David Henry into the Looniverse rather than
> Dvandom, it would have set the scene for a teamup with Icthys to stop
> the Church and the Nodakommandos. Then it would have been a case of
> Icthys' presence causing the feedback loop with David Henry's power
> and being the key to stopping the villains' plans."
>       "Icthys?" mused Insomnia Lad, trying to recall the characters
> created by DHenry. "The scales of justice? The undead fish animated by
> voodoo who fights crime in supermarkets?"
>       "That's the one."


>       There was a dingo there. It has a swag over his shoulder (which
> was labelled 'swag'). It was looking at the four of them and seemed
> vaguely disappointed.
>       "She's not here," Fourth Wall Lass said. "Just go away."
>       The dingo turned and slunk back into the bushes.
>       "Let's go home," Insomnia Lad said.

*cackles fiendishly*

> Birth of a Villain #38
> Mouse: AKA, the story that refuses to end.
> by Jaelle (with endless comments by Mouse)


>> "Epilogue 2: 101 Uses For A Giant Carnivorous Mutant Platypus"
> Writers Block Woman and Mouse: DUMP IT BACK IN ALT.STRALIA!!!
> Mouse: And take all these bloody possums back while you're at it!
> Jaelle: Okay guys, let me write in peace and quiet now please.


> Writers Block Woman burst into the LNH cafe,
> "A platypus!" She screamed. "A giant carnivorous mutant platypus
> stole my baby!"
> Mouse groaned and banged her head against the table, nearly upsetting
> the glass of orange juice on it. "Muuummm... that joke wasn't funny
> the first eighteen times either."


> "I quite liked it the second time around," said Cheesecake Eater Lad.


> "You would," Mouse told him. "Just let it go Mum. They weren't going
> to take YOU of all people to Alt.stralia. Everybody here and their
> assorted sidekicks knows how you feel about the Ockers."
> Writers Block Woman sulked over to the table. "I wouldn't have done
> anything."
> "Then why were you trying to requisition three hundred stinkbombs
> and a giant inflatable kangaroo out of Stores?" Mouse demanded.
> "Err... be prepared?" Writers Block Woman hazarded.


> "So, where have you been all morning?" Writers Block Woman said.
> Suddenly she adopted a strange, high-pitched tone of voice. "Been
> shopping?"
> Mouse grimaced and replied in the same voice. "Nah, been shopping."
> "Oh yeah, what'd you buy?"
> "An old Monty Python sketch." Mouse snapped. "Can we please stop
> this now?"
> Writers Block Woman grinned at her briefly and then stole her
> orange juice. Alas, the perfidity of it all!


> "Yeah, getting rid of that damn mind-controlling cat!" Mouse grumbled.
> "Who gives mind control powers to a cat anyway? Like they need
> any more advantages. Aren't humans already their slaves enough?"


> "Are you missing Sukie?" Writers Block Woman asked gently.
> "I AM NOT MISSING SUKIE!!!" Mouse denied. "Dad's taking good care
> of her and I'll see her next time we're in NZ."
> [To find out who Sukie is... er, well, you'll have to wait for me
> to finish WBW #37-39! It's not important though - really. She's
> just a cat. A very cute purrable kitty-cat. A sweet cat.
> ...
> I miss my cat. I haven't seen him in ages. Foo. - Jaelle]


> "I thought you just let him wander off?" Asked J. Random LNHer.
> "Nah," Mouse sighed. "My conscience wouldn't let me."
> "You have a conscience?" Someone hidden safely up the back of the
> cafe asked. Mouse glared in their direction.
> "Yes I do, and don't think I won't eventually find out who that
> was and make you pay!" She called.


> "Exactly," Mouse sniffed. "Who'd notice? But then I decided that would
> be too nice."
> "So..." WBW was practically dancing in impatience. "Where? Where?"
> Mouse smiled in a nasty fashion.
> ***
> End

Equally ambiguous, yet *much* more fun.

> No, there was no point. No point at all. I just thought it would
> be nice to know what Mouse was doing, having been rather callously
> written out of the second epilogue _Saxon_ :-),


> Anyways, this complete waste of your time was sent to you with
> great joy by,
> Jaelle


Drew "both of these are super fun" Perron

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