LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #108: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! Part Seven

[Arthur Spitzer]

In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
we have the seventh section of Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies!

Jamie Rosen returns with issue 14.  Wait what happened to issue 13?
I mean Jamie wouldn't skip issue 13 just avoid all the horrible bad
luck that would undoubtedly follow him for the rest of his life if he
were to write it?  Would Jamie do that?  Hmm.

And Drew Perron returns with #15.  Is it time for Shoe Devil to
cackle the word, 'Excellent!'?  And when is it not time for Shoe
Devil to cackle the word, 'Excellent!'?

Find that out and more in...

              _						
             | |      Classic			
             | |                      =
             | |      ____    ____    _    ____    ___
             | |__   | [] |  | [] |  | |  | [] |  | _ \  

             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
                                 ||
                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #108


                         =====================
              Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! Part Seven
                         =====================




From: "Jamie Rosen" <jamie.rosen at sunlife.com>
Subject: Re: [LNH/RACCies] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies #11
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 2 Feb 2005 16:42:51 -0000

Just Imagine... Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #14


"Hey," said anonymous RACC reader #3. "What happened to #13?"

"It's bad luck," said anonymous RACC reader #2.

"Hey guys," interrupted anonymous RACC reader #4, "what'd I miss?"

****

"I -- I can't betray the LNH!" Firewire said.

"You have no choice," intoned the Shoe Devil. "For you have already
signed the contract, and right here in section a, paragraph 3,
subsection delta, it says, and I quote: 'The undersigned does hereby
agree to betray the Legion of Net.Heroes.'"

"Nooooooooooooo!"

"Yes." And with that, the Shoe Devil vanished in a puff of shoe polish.

"Um, do you want to tell me how I'm supposed to betray the LNH?"
Firewire asked.

"I'll tell you later."

****

"What do you want?"

"I want to help you," said the Shoe Devil.

"What do you mean?"

"Aren't you tired of being overlooked?" the Shoe Devil asked. "Tired of
being forgotten about, of being ignored, of never getting credit for
your dialogue?"

"I -- I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Oh, I think you do. I think you do. And I can make it all better."

"H-how?"

"It's very easy. And all I need from you is one tiny, little thing.
Something you'll never even miss."

"I -- I.... fine."

"An excellent choice." The Shoe Devil gestured broadly. "Goodbye,
Never-Gets-Credit-for-His-Dialogue Lad. Hello, Bluetooth!

****

Back on Real Life -1, Saxon Brenton scratched his head in puzzlement.
Had it all been a dream? The Grapety Purple Man -- the transformation
into Pointless Awards Man III -- the attempted murder -- had it all
been induced by that shrimp and crocodile pizza he'd had just after
midnight?

And if so... why did his shoes have no soles?

****

Pointless Awards Man II grimaced with every breath. He was alive, which
was good. But he'd been run through by a sword -- which was bad. Still,
he was up on his feet again, which was better than being dead. And he
was able to use the phone -- which he was doing right now.

"So then you'll do it?" he asked mysteriously.

"Well, it *is* highly unethical," answered the voice on the other end.
"And possibly illegal, but I can work around that. Yes, I'll do it."

"Excellent," PAM II said. "Sacrifice me for the greater good, will
they? We'll see about that! Little do those fools know, that the very
man they are counting on to save them -- shall be their undoing!"

On the other end of the phone, the Lethal Lawyer started the clock.
"You know this is going to cost you."

==============

WHO took Saxon Brenton's soles?
WHAT are Bluetooth's powers?
WHERE will the Shoe Devil strike next?
WHEN will the Lethal Lawyer be caught playing both sides?
WHY would I bring in a character mentioned only in a comment on a post
in another cascade?
and
HOW will the LNH defend themselves against accusations that the
intentionally risked the life of an innocent man when apparently all
they had to do was get the anti-virus companies to recognize this new
virus?

Er, that last one may be a little long.

From: Andrew Perron <pwerdna at outgun.com>
Subject: [LNH] [RACCIES] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! #15
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 2 Feb 2005 22:34:45 -0000

Manga Man sailed through the net.aether between the newsgroups.  His
mind whirred, trying to answer the mysteries that had sprung up.  Who
had created the RACCies virus?  How did the Grapety Purple Man steal
Saxon from Real Life -1?  Why was his plot-device-sense tingling?  He
sighed.  Maybe some time in
rec.arts.anime.mahou-sensei-einstein.creative would relax him.

...or maybe not.  He stared at the whipping wall of flame that divided
the newsgroup down the middle.  What was this?

He landed.  Everywhere, there were people arguing.  He wandered,
narrowly dodging a comical ball of dust with fists and feet flying
about, and came to the fanfic theater.  Only two had been posted in
the last two weeks - each featuring one author's avatar killing the
other's.  Manga Man shook his head.  How had this utter chaos come
about?

He took off and flew around the newsgroup, encased in a glowing yellow
aura.  Hmm.  Magical duel, orbital laser cannon, the Einsteintron,
someone else glowing, flying, and coming straight at--

*POW*

Manga Man thudded into the ground.  Ow.

Slowly, he pulled himself out of the crater.  What the hfil was--
"You!"

The person in the other crater rose up. "Yes, it is I - Manga Man!"
He landed in front of our protagonist. "And who, I might ask, are
you?"

---===#===---

"Hey, wReamhack!"

The Admin of Audacity turned. "Oh, hi there... um, Firewire, right?"

"Indeed," said the Demon On Treads. "How's the fight against the virus
going?"

"Eh, we've got it all sewn up," said wReamhack. "Just a matter of
getting people to update their virus definitions."

"Ah, good.  And everyone's doing that?"

"Yeah, except for a few lazy holdouts."

"Cool.  Oh, and wReamhack?"

"Yeah?"

"Sorry." Firewire gestured, and sparks shot out of the console,
flooding wReamhack's body with electricity for just a moment.  He
slumped over, unconcious.

Firewire sighed. "Okay, it's all clear..."

"Excellent," cackled the Shoe Devil as he and Bluetooth appeared out
of the air. "Now, to use the LNH's technology and your demonic
networking powers to create a wide-area network directly into the
minds of the people of Net.ropolis!"

---===#===---

Within the conduits of the .netnet, a formless being plotted.  The
machinations of the Shoe Devil would be the perfect trigger for Stage
Two of the RACCies virus - and the "update" that was even now taking
hold in computers all over the world would leave them wide open for
it.

Dark laughter echoed through the modemed halls.

---===#===---

WHY are there two Manga Men?
WHEN is there going to be an update for the Grapety Purple Man/Saxon
Brenton plot?
WHO is the cybernetic mastermind behind the RACCies virus?
WHAT is with all these retcons?

Find out, in the next issue of... Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's
RACCies!

(As for the two Manga Men - I noticed a discrepancy between the
"law-abiding buisnessman" Manga Man from the beginning of the thread
and the "still a supervillain" Manga Man from later on.  This is a bit
of a fix on that.)

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, let's see where it goes!


==========
Next Week: Just Imagine Saxon Brenton's RACCies! Now Imagine Part VIII!
==========

Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer