LNHY/REPOST: Death of Trophy Wife #3

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Feb 4 09:59:03 PST 2019

Death of Trophy Wife #3

Pister Y Maprika handed the papers to his lawyer.  The lawyer looked the papers 
over.  "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Maprika scowled.  "It's my fortune.  And I can give it to anyone I want.  This 
is the Will.  This is my Will!!"

"Of course sir!" said the lawyer with a shaky voice.  And the lawyers left with 
the papers.  Maprika was all alone.  Looked at picture he had by his bed.  It 
was Trophy Wife with one arm tightly wrapped around him.  Tammy.  Why did you 
have to die?

It was strange this emptiness he was feeling right now.  The only things he had 
ever cared about in his whole life were making obscene amounts of money, power, 
and using that money and power to make hotel/casinos.  And then Tammy came into 
his life.  At first she was just the latest hot number to show off to his 
multi-billionaire buddies.  That was all she was.  But she put some kind of a 
spell on him.  And the next thing he knew they were engaged.  And then they were 
married.  And then she was dead.  And everything -- all the money and power he 
had -- didn't seem to matter anymore.

He just couldn't go on with this life anymore.  He made a new will today.  He 
was leaving everything to Exclamation!Missy!  Why he was doing that he wasn't 
quite exactly sure -- but it seemed like the right thing to do.  And it didn't 
really matter.  Not like he could take it all with him.

He looked in the corner.  And in the corner was death.  It was a machine 
designed to give its occupant the most pleasant, fun death possible.  He clicked 
the machine open and stepped inside.  He clicked another button and the machine 
closed shut.  A pleasant sounding music began to play.  "I want to die."  The 
machine asked him if he was sure.  "Yes."  And then the machine began to work. 
He felt a pin prick as the machine injected him with some drug.  And for a 
moment there was a feeling of ecstasy.  Maybe they'd meet again if there was an 
afterlife.  And then Maprika felt a moment of panic -- that he had made a 
horrible mistake.  But it was too late.  And blackness over took his senses. 
And then he was dead.

And the Death of Pister Y Maprika III came out of the shadows and made a phone 
call.  "It is done!"


<:It is done, Master.:> said the New LNH Member Detector clicking off the 
cellphone it was floating above.  <:He is dead.  And you are the newest member 
of the LNH.:>

"Oh goody!" said Exclamation!Missy!  "And am I its leader?!  Am I?!  Tell me I am!!"

<:Well,:> said the New LNH Member with a nervous voice, <:There would need to be 
an election for that to happen.:>

"Oh, poo!  Elections!!  What a dumb human invention!"  And then she gazed at the 
New LNH Member Detector -- and the detector as if it had no choice floated into 
her hand.  "Well, my servant," she said tickling the detector a bit with her 
finger, "I hope for your sake -- that I win that election.  I really do."

<:Yes, Master.  I'll do my best!:>

Excamation!Missy! gave an approving nod and released the detector from her grip. 
  And then she fumbled around for her lighter and lit herself a cigarette.  "A 
new dark age is coming.  It's almost here."  And then she puffed the cigarette. 
And then made some coughing and hacking sounds.  She touched her throat.  And 
the top of her skull flipped right open.

And sock crawled out of her skull.  A wondersock.  The First Wondersock.  "Man. 
Getting stuffy in there!

"Well.  Here's to the All Consuming Darkness that's coming.  And here's to me. 
The future king of heaven, hell, and everything else!!  I'm back, baby!!!!"

The New LNH Member Detector made a gulping sound.

NAME:  Exclamation!Missy!

     CREATED BY:  Arthur Spitzer

     TYPE:  Usable Without Permission

     POWERS:  Exclamations!

     ADD NOTES: She's the sidekick of Exclamation!Master! and member of the LNH. 
  And she has the First Wondersock in her skull controlling all of her actions.

     FIRST ISSUE:  Looniverse Y #11


Trophy Wife -- Tom Russell
Everyone else -- Arthur Spitzer

Writer's Notes:

I really don't have any plans for any of the stuff in this issue.  And it might 
be the last LNHY story I ever write.  So do with the Wondersock and 
Exclamation!Missy! what you will.

Arthur "Sock Me!" Spitzer


Drew "wonderskull" Perron

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