LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #132: Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Eight

Arthur Spitzer arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Dec 22 14:23:08 PST 2019

You can sift through the racc list archive
or you can try google groups racc for these stories that make up the eighth 
section of Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig (or Crisis).

LNH Comics Presents #49 is by Martin Phipps (Martin wrote quite a bit of
these).  And who's this issues leader?  It's Master Blaster!  But will he
have any time to make his low cut top/thong uniform dreams come true before

And LNHCP #50 is also by Martin.  And now it's Sister-State-the-Obvious
turn for the leadership saddle.  Will she honor her missing husband's
wishes of a low cut top/thong uniform costume revamp?  (I think the
answer to that question is very obvious).

And now..

             | |      Classic			
             | |                      =
             | |      ____    ____    _    ____    ___
             | |__   | [] |  | [] |  | |  | [] |  | _ \  

             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #132

                Infinite Leadership Cry.Sig Part Eight

From: Martin Phipps <martin... at yahoo.com>
Subject: LNH: LNH Comics Presents #49: Infinite Leadership Crisis Episode 14
Date: Sat, 14 Apr 2007 02:43:03 +0000 (UTC)


                        EPISODE 14

April 14th, 2007

  "He's gone," Adamant Authority-on-Everything said. 
"Just like all the others."
  "Who's gone?" The Forgetting One asked.
  "Doctor Stomper.  He disappeared at midnight last
  The Forgetting One still looked confused.
  "Everytime a leader of the LNH gets chosen he
disappears at midnight," Kid Recap said.  "This all
started when Ultimate Ninja went on holiday."  With
Kid Recap having done his duty, he waved at everybody
and left.
  Frat Boy shook his head.  "You shouldn't have let
Doctor Stomper do it.  Now what are we going to do?"
  "It doesn't matter," Adamant Authority-on-Everything
said.  "We're all going to keep disappearing until
Ultimate Ninja comes back.  And then maybe he'll
disappear too."  He sighed.  "It's hopeless."
  Master Blaster laughed.  "What's with you people? 
This is the LNH we're talking about!  We've faced
problems like this before and we've come through. 
What makes you think this time will be any different?"
  "I hope you're right," Frat Boy said.
  "I _know_ I'm right," Master Blaster said.  "Now
let's see who the next leader is."

  As he had done for almost two weeks now,
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad was chosing the next
leader of the LNH by pulling names out of a hat.  This
time he pulled out a name from the hat and announced
the next LNH leader to be...
  "... Master Blaster."
  "Oh @#$%!" Master Blaster swore.
  "What's wrong," Frat Boy asked.  "I thought you said
we had nothing to worry about."
  "That was before Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad pulled
my name out of his hat and sentenced me to oblivion."
  "But 'this is the LNH we're talking about!  We've
faced problems like this before and we've come
  "Frat Boy, please," Master Blaster said.  "I know
what I said."  He grabbed Adamant
Authority-on-Everything by the collar.  "You're
supposed to be some sort of expert!  You've got to get
me out of this!"
  "Unhand me!" Adamant Authority on Everything told
  "I could always volunteer to replace you as leader,"
Sarcastic Lad said to him.
  "You'd do that for me, old pal, old friend?" 
  "No," Sarcastic Lad said with a laugh.  "Psych!"
  "Look," Adamant Authority-on-Everything said as he
tried to writhe free of Master Blaster's grip, "you're
the leader now.  You think of something."
  Master Blaster let him go.  "That's right.  I'm the
leader now."  Master Blaster imagined giving the LNH
matching uniforms: full bodied spandex for men and a
matching low cut top and thong for women.  "Oh, man,
so much to do so little time.  There's got to be a way
for me to still be here tomorrow!"  Then it hit on
him.  "Wikiboy!"
  Wikiboy sighed.  "What is it?"
  "You're a smart guy."
  "So I am."
  "You know where the others went."
  "I'm sorry but I don't."
  "You do!"
  Wikiboy shook his head.  "My powers don't work that
  "Yes they do!"
  Wikiboy sighed.  "My powers are limited in that I
can neither be omnipotent nor omniscient.  You can't
ask me to be able to do anything you want nor know
anything you want to know.  I can't perform miracles."
  "Yes you can!"
  "You're not listening."
  "Look, I don't want to disappear!"
  "If my husband disappears then he will be gone,"
Sister State-the-Obvious said.  "Then I won't have my
husband and our daughter won't have a father."
  "You're just getting back at me for all the
malicious edits I've done!" Master Blaster said.
  Wikiboy shook his head.  "Not at all.  If I really
was angry with you then you could ask me to forgive
  "Okay.  You forgive me."
  "I forgive you."
  "Now help me!"
  "I can't."
  "Alright!  Fine!"  Master Blaster stood there
concentrating for a few minutes.
  "Is this meeting over?" Sarcastic Lad asked. 
"Because I rented a bunch of DVDs last night and I
didn't get through them all and I want to go--"
  "Wait!" Master Blaster said.  "Everybody wait!  I
think I'm on to something!"
  "If you can think of some way to prevent yourself
from disappearing then you will still be here
tomorrow," Sister State-the-Obvious said, "and that
would be good."
  "Why don't we just disband the LNH?" Master Blaster
asked.  "Right here.  Right now.  If the LNH is
disbanded then I'm not the leader.  Nobody is.  Then
nobody will disappear."  He turned to Adamant
Authority-on-Everything.  "Well?  What do you think?"
  "It's worth a try," Adamant Authority-on-Everything
said.  "But the LNH leader cannot disband the LNH
without the full support of the team."
  "Fine," Master Blaster said.  "Everyone in favour--"
  "WAIT!" Paranoid Lad screamed.  "What if having the
legion disband is what they want?"
  "Who are they?" Master Blaster asked.
  "You know... _them_."
  Master Blaster sighed.  "You heard what Adamant
Authority-on-Everything said.  If we don't disband we
could all end up disappearing.  Everyone in favour of
the LNH disbanding, raise your hand."
  It looked as though everyone rasied their hands,
including Paranoid Lad.
  "Everyone against?"
  Nobody raised their hands.
  "As the _former_ leader of the LNH, I hereby declare
the team disbanded."
  "Do we all have to leave right away,"
Procrastination Boy asked.
  "I'm sorry but that isn't my responsibility.  You
may all leave if you want.  Or stay.  The LNH doesn't
exist anymore.  Therefore I am not the leader.  You're
all free to go.  Or stay.  Whatever."
  Sister State-the-Obvious gave her husband a big hug.
 "I'm so proud of you!"
  Master Blaster sighed.  "I hope this works."  

  Later that evening, just after midnight, a scream
was heard from Master Blaster's bedroom.  It was
distinctly different from the scream that Sister
State-the-Obvious would normally let out during good
sex.  Several legionaires rushed to see what had
  It was Sister State-the-Obvious.  She was sitting up
in bed alone.  Master Blaster wasn't there.  "He's
  Frat Boy gave out a deep sigh.  "So what now?"

                    TO BE CONTINUED

Adamant Authority on Everything, Ultimate Ninja and
Sister State the Obvious are wReam's
Doctor Stomper is T. M. Neeck's
Kid Recap is Josh Geurink's
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad is Arthur Spitzer's
Frat Boy is uplink's
Sarcastic Lad is Gary St. Lawrence's
Wiki Boy is Tom Russell's
Forgetting One belongs to... um... Joel Finkle :) 
Master Blaster and Paranoid Lad are mine


From: Martin Phipps <martin... at yahoo.com>
Subject: LNH: LNH Comics Presents #50: Infinite Leadership Crisis Episode 15
Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2007 00:33:10 +0000 (UTC)


                       EPISODE 15

April 15, 2007

  Pulls-Out-Of-Hats Lad pulled out the name of the
latest LNH Leader.
  "Well?" Curious Lass asked.
  "Sister State-the-Obvious," he said.
  "That's me," Sister State-the-Obvious said.  "I'm
the new leader."
  "So what now?" Curious Lass asked.
  "We need to find our missing teammates," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  "the Man i Married is aMong the Missing,"
aLLiterative Lass said.  "you Must find him."
  "Wait," Forgetting One said, "most of the
Legionaires left appear to be women.  Have all the
ones who disappeared been men?"
  "No," Recap Lad said.  "There have been women as
well as men who have disappeared but as the leaders of
the LNH so far have been mostly men it has been mostly
men who have disappeared, leaving an abundance of
  "But isn't Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad's power
simply the ability to pull paper out of hats?"
Forgetting One asked.  "Wouldn't he just be pulling
names out at random?"
  "No," Ordinary Lady told him. 
"Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad's power is to pull out
the right piece of paper out of all the paper in the
hat so that in this case he would be pulling out the
name of the right person to be leader of the LNH."
  "What about when he pulled out Coward Lad's name?"
Frat Boy asked.
  "That was a gag," Ordinary Lady explained.  "Don't
forget that the Looniverse is governed not only by
logic but by the rules of comedy and drama."
  "Can we use that to our advantage?" wReamHack asked.
 "I mean, having our teammates disappear serves drama
but after a while it just isn't funny anymore: as the
days go by there will be fewer and fewer of us left
until the last one left disappears."
  "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" Coward Lad screamed.
  "We need to figure out where our teammates went,"
Sister State-the-Obvious said.  "If we know where they
went to and how they got there then we might be able
to get them back."
  Frat Boy shook his head.  "Who's idea was it to let
Doctor Stomper serve as leader?" he asked.  "Now
there's nobody here who knows what their doing.  We
should simply chose the least useful legionaire to be
leader.  That would have bought us more time."
  "Are you volunteering?" Sarcastic Lad asked.
  "Bite me!" Frat Boy said.
  "Oooh," Sarcastic Lad said.  "You'd like that,
wouldn't you?"
  "We shouldn't fight amongst ourselves," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.  "It won't help us get our
missing teammates back."
  "Why don't we simply disband the LNH?" Forgetting
One asked.  "Then people would stop disappearing."
  "We tried that," Ordinary Lady said.  "Remember?"
  "We did?"
  "Uh huh.  The leader who disbanded the LNH
disppeared at midnight regardless."
  "We mustn't give up though," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  "I've got an idea," wReamHack said.
  "What is it?" Ordinary Lady asked.
  "You should tell us your idea," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  "We need to get in touch with Kid Kirby," he said. 
"He might be able to help us."
  "Unfortunately we can't contact him," Ordinary Lady
  "We don't know where he is," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  "Still," wReam Hack said, "we could use him."
  Just then a flash of lightning appeared outside.  It
was so bright that even though our heroes were inside
LNH HQ and were protected by extra thick steel and
concrete walls, the light in the room was nevertheless
bright enough that even those standing away from the
source had to make the effort to try to shield their
eyes from it.
  "What do you suppose that was?" Forgetting One
  After about a minute, the doors flew open with a
gust of wind.
  "KID KIRBY HAS RETURNED!" Kid Kirby said.
  "And Sing Along Lass too!" his herald added.
  "Wait!" Frat Boy complained.  "Isn't it illogical
that Kid Kirby would show up just after wReamHack says
how good it would be to have him here?"
  "Perhaps," Ordinary Lady said, "but don't forget
that, as I already said, the Looniverse is not only
bound by logic but by comedy and drama.  Having Kid
Kirby show up on cue serves drama and having you point
out the illogic of him showing up on cue serves
  "Hmm," Sarcastic Lad mused.  "Has Jeannie been
spending quality time with Doctor Stomper?"
  "What the @#$%?" Innovative Offense Boy asked.  "Is
that @#$%ing true?  Because if it is then when he gets
back I'm going to rip him a new @$$@#$% and then stick
his own @#$% up it!"
  "It's not true, dear," Ordinary Lady said as she
gave her husband a kiss.
  "We need your help," Sister State-the-Obvious said
to Kid Kirby.
  "Some of our teammates are missing," Ordinary Lady
  "We don't know where they are," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  "We thought you could help us find them," Ordinary
Lady said.
  Kid Kirby nodded.  "Tell me what happened."

  Sister State-the-Obvious, Ordinary Lady and Frat Boy
showed Kid Kirby and Sing Along Lass where their
teammates had disappeared.  They also showed them all
the data that Doctor Stomper had collected before he
too disappeared.
  "Can you help us?" Ordinary Lady asked.
  "We really want our teammates back," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  Kid Kirby nodded.  "I think I can."
  "So you know what happened and where they went to?"
Ordinary Lady asked.
  "That would be very helpful," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.
  "I believe I do," Kid Kirby said.
  "Could you tell us what your theory is?" Ordinary
Lady asked.
  Kid Kirby mused.  "Not just yet."  He pointed to the
lab down the end of the hall.  "I'm going to go here
and run a few tests.  I shpuld know for sure by
tomorrow morning."
  "But I'm supposed to disappear at midnight," Sister
State-the-Obvious said.  "If I disappear tonight then
I won't be here tomorrow morning."
  "I know," Kid Kirby said.  "I'm sorry but that's the
way it has to be."  Kid Kirby proceeded to his
personal laboratory and went to work.
  Frat Boy grimaced.  "I don't get it," he said.  "Why
can't he just say what he thinks might be causing
  "Rules of drama," Ordinary Lady said.  "All major
revelations need to be preceded by a cliffhanger

                   TO BE CONTINUED
Sister State the Obvious and wReamHack are wReam's 
Curious Lass is Carolyn Vaughan's
Sing Along Lass is Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes's
Kid Kirby is H. Jameel Al Khafiz's
Kid Recap is Josh Geurink's 
aLLiterative Lass is Charles Fitzgerald's
Pulls-Paper-Out-Of-Hats Lad is Arthur Spitzer's 
Frat Boy is uplink's 
Sarcastic Lad is Gary St. Lawrence's 
Coward Lad is Cory Smith & Tom Russell's
Forgetting One belongs to... um... Joel Finkle :) 
Ordinary Lady is mine



Next Week:  More leaders!  More disappearing -- Part IX!

Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer

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