LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #76: Birth Of A Villain the Final Part
Arthur Spitzer
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Sun Sep 9 13:49:46 PDT 2018
In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
we have the final section of a Birth Of A Villain.
Jamie Rosen returns with a Post-Partum for a Birth of a Villain, which
looks like some attempt at a Birth of a Villain spinoff.
And Lalo Martins also tries his hand at a Birth of a Villain spinoff
with Weird Comics #1. Will any of these spinoffs get to issue two?
Maybe someone from the far-far future of 2015 knows the answer to
that.
But for now..
_
| | Classic
| | =
| | ____ ____ _ ____ ___
| |__ | [] | | [] | | | | [] | | _ \
|____| \__] \__ | |_| \__/ |_|\_\
||
|_| OF NET.HEROES
ADVENTURES #76
=====================
Birth Of A Villain Part Sixteen
=====================
From: dq831 at freenet.carleton.ca (Jamie Rosen)
Subject: [LNH] Birth of a Villain: Post-Partum: The Mini-Comic
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 16 Aug 2001 05:06:46 -0000
Thinking fast to save an idea I've been working on,
Low Budget Productions proudly presents...
BIRTH OF A VILLAIN:
*** *** *** *** * *
* * * * * * * * *
*** *** *** *** *** *** * *** *** * * * * : The Mini-Comic
* * * * * * *** ** * * * ** **
* *** *** * * * * * * * *** * * *
"'...the Legion of Costumed Individuals (Pedestrian Girl, Fourth Wall
Demolisher Lad and Expendable Man) made their way back to their home
dimension..."
"Does it really say that?" Pedestrian Girl asked.
"Yep," replied Fourth Wall Demolisher Lad, nodding at the computer
terminal and the text that only he could see. The other patrons of the
Net.ropolis Public Library had given him funny looks when he sat down at a
seemingly blank screen, but he was used to that sort of behaviour by now.
"Well, why I aren't we home, then?" the Expendable Man asked, idly
running his finger along the frayed power cord that connected the computer
to the wall.
"I don't know," Fourth Wall Demolisher lad replied. "With all of the
problems with the Fourth Wall, and all of the people moving to and fro in
time, space, and imprints... Well, have you ever been in a bath tub, or a
swimming pool, and made waves in two directions at once? Say, one with
each hand?"
"Yeah."
"And you've seen what happens when the waves meet? The things in the
middle just sort of bob and go in different directions, willy-nilly. Well,
I think that's sort of what's happened here. Like we're being pushed and
pulled in different directions, so we just sort of flounder. What we need
to do is find some direction."
"But that's only a guess?"
Fourth Wall Demolisher Lad nodded sheepishly. "Yes."
"How will we ever find direction when everyone thinks we've gone home?"
Pedestrian Girl lamented.
Suddenly, the door to the library flew open (much to the librarian's
chagrin and a good deal of 'shhhh's) and a gun toting man in good shape
for someone nearing an undefinable middle age strode in.
"Not everyone," said Google-13, smiling.
NEXT ISSUE: There is no next issue, gosh darn it. This is a BoaV
tie-in/fallout special, which sets the stage for a new series.
Unfortunately, the title escapes me at the moment -- but stay tuned for
it, whatever it's called!
Everyone and all text copyright 2001 Jamie Rosen, reserved, except for the
opening quotation uttered by Fourth Wall Demolisher Lad, which comes from the
final(?) installment of the Birth of a Villain series proper, if such a
thing can be called proper.
--
"Do you mean to tell me that you don't see the connection between
government and laughing at people?"
From: Lalo Martins <lalo at laranja.org>
Subject: [LNH] Weird Comics #1 a.k.a. Birth of a Villain #39
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative
Date: 21 Aug 2001 09:20:43 -0000
(warning: the narrators are LNH2, but the story is LNH. You
don't have to know LNH2 to understand. Well, most people won't
understand anyway, but that's off my point.)
I'm baack! Or so I hope... missed you guys, writers and
characters alike. Actually, I should probably miss you even
more, since my last post technically happened in 99... or did
it? And if it did, don't my 2001 MM stories count?
Well, I invite you to find out, as you join me in this tour
though my personal stock of...
Weird Comics!
****************************************************************
2015.
Blackbird took a deep breath and repeated the question.
"So, does this help?"
"Oh, sorry, I was posting it. Yes, your recap of the origin of
Acra Flight was just what I needed to help stamp out this
damned timeline. Thank you."
"Yeah, whatever. Isn't it the dream of every other Goth hero?
To sacrifice his life to make the world a micrometer less
miserable?"
The other person didn't answer; he turned to the obsolete
PentiumIII(TM) he was using to access Real World +W to post -
mostly because anyone who'd see his face would realize he was
hiding something. But the Junior Goth Wonder didn't.
"But, well, anyway... how can you do that?"
"Post stories? You know, it's part of the trade when..."
"No. I mean, post to the past."
He smiled. "You don't read up too much on RACCstory, do you?"
"No." The boy shrugged. "Reading archives is more like dad."
"Well. The period between 1999 and 2001 was quite convoluted,
timestream-wise. It was a matter of too many authors away from
the Looniverse (what some called Apathy 2000), too much mucking
with the Fourth Wall (that was the time when we found out about
Real World -1), and, of course, a storyline that refused to die
or be finished. Well, as you probably know it didn't die even
when it *was* finished."
"You're referring to..."
"Yes. Well, for example, do you know the story of how Weirdness
Magnet headed out to the LNH in 2001 to help save Minority Miss
and New Look Lass, then ended up in 1999 and technically joined
the Legion almost an year before the girl he intended to save?"
"My head hurts."
"Yes, that was how most people felt by that time. Wanna hear it?"
"Of course, why not? Sounds like fun."
"All right. I'll tell you this one, in exchange for yours. Of
course I could tell from memory, but they're running a TEB in
the group, so I might just as well open it up..."
He pressed a few keys in the old computer, and accessed
rec.arts.comics.creative.birth-of-a-villain.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Who Cares Studio presents:
Weird Comics
#1
Come On Let's Twist Again
a.k.a.
Birth of a Villain #39
Weirdness Magnet, Minority Miss and this story are copyright
(C) 2000, 2001 by Fernando "Lalo" Martins. Other characters are
(C) by their creators, as stated in the end of the message.
Irrelevant Kid is Public Domain. I know we don't put characters
in Public Domain anymore in RACC - well, not usually - but I
really think it's the best thing to do with this one.
The text of the story may be copied in any form or medium, for
any purposes, provided that the text is copied verbatim. To use
parts of it, or to create derivative works, please contact the
author with mailto:lalo at laranja.org
----------------------------------------------------------------
1999.
"Right", said the Ninja, "explain again."
"Why?", asked Weirdness Magnet in his orange helmet.
"You probably know", interrupted Fourth Wall Lass, "that the
real reason is that the story just began, so as far as the
readers know, this will be your first try. Think about the
others as rehearsals."
"Well. All right. First the objective part. Right now, in 1999,
I already know the LNH, and I'm wandering around trying not to
run into you guys too much. But in mid-2001, I accidentally
received a message from a member of the LNH who is, or will be,
stranded in another universe."
"Yes. Minority Miss."
"So, I decided to finally give up and let destiny - or my
'powers', whatever - turn me into a Net.Hero or something. I
picked a name and walked out. I knew I would just run into you
guys sooner or later, because that's the way things happen with
me, always. No, actually that's not correct - I didn't even
have time to walk out, I just said 'I'm ready' and the Melissa
clone crashed trough my door." (see BOAV#31)
"Yes. I can almost buy that. But then, you ended up in 99?"
"Right. And that pretty much finishes the objective part,
except that I observed most of you remember Mutton Mania,
Minority Miss and the end of Saviours of the Net. Heck, didn't
Mouse from our time just cross-over into a 2001 title?"
The Master of All Things Ninja looked down with a very
thoughtful face - well, mask.
"Yes, that's weird."
"Exactly my point! You guys, or the Authors, or SOMEone, did
something very weird to the timestream - and that would
exmplain my presence here."
"All right. So, I presume there is a non-objective part."
Everyone in the big meeting room looked at WM anxiously.
"Well. I'm not very good at these kinds of explanations - I
usually tend to confuse the beegees out of people even more
than before - but I've been discussing the situation with Doc
Stomper, and maybe he can enlighten you."
He looked very relieved as all eyes turned to The Master of All
Things Pseudoscientific.
"Well", tried Stomper. "The thing is, between BOAV, Saviours of
the Net, the ending of Saviours of the Net, the mad plans of
The Reality, and who knows what more... looks like the Fourth
Wall is pretty much weakened... dangerously so. FWLass?"
"Yes. Despite the representation we knew - or will know - in
the end of Saviours of the Net, the Wall isn't really a wall,
it's an abstract concept. Or, if you want to take it literally
slash etymologically, the lack of a wall, an empty space..."
"Cut it", said the Ultimate Ninja, motioning with his Ginsu
Katana.
"Sorry. Well, if you move to a point where you can see it as a
real wall, as in Saviours, you would see it quite cracked, or
perhaps with lots of holes. I rather feel it as a very thin
membrane, a lot less solid than usual..."
"As we stablished in Minority Miss - or will establish,
whatever", said Doctor Stomper, "it isn't possible to really
affect the Real Real World from here. Well, in theory
everything is possible, but let's not go there. In practice,
this isn't possible. Except that, of course, to some extent we
are psychologically affected by things we read... one of our
stories can make people in the Real Real World sad, or
inspired, or happy, or whatever. Apart from that, no way."
"Some, like me", explained FWLass, "can see the other side, or
see our world from the other side. But when I *cross* to the
other side, I'm just crossing to some world that looks enough
like the other side to pass for it. Possibly not even the same
as last time, as the fact that I was there already makes it
different enough..."
"You are, in Weirdness Magnet's words, confusing the beegees
out of all of us, and getting nowhere", said the Mighty Sneaky
Leader, gesticulating with the sword.
"Sorry", said Stomper. "Anyway, as we can't affect the other
side, the only effect of a weak wall is that we're more
affected by the other side than usual. Perhaps, we get an
expanded perception of it even, which would explain why we all
remember things from 2000 and 2001, and why Weirdness Magnet
thought BOAV was happening in 2001..."
"Because it was being *posted* in 2001, even if set in 99!",
concluded Weirdness Magnet.
"Maybe", interjected Mouse, "but how the hell are you here?"
"Well, looks like there will be rampant Melissa clones for
years. I think I ran into one of them on BOAV#31, and when I
tried to get rid of her, she teleported me to '99."
"But how did you know that you would get rid of her if you
mentioned a church?", asked Cap Ninja.
"Because I received a TEB of Birth of a Villain with Minority
Miss' journal, for some reason, and I knew a lot of the clones
were fighting in the Church."
"There has never been a TEB of Birth of a Villain, IIRC",
observed FWLass.
"Whatever. I thought it was weird that it was dated 2015 and
addressed to rec.arts.comics.creative.birth-of-a-villain, but
I'm used to weird stuff happening."
"No", said the Ninja Master Of All Things Leaderish. "Not good
enough. Explain again."
"Why?", asked Weirdness Magnet, taking off his orange helmet
and wiping the sweat.
================================================================
Many, many, many hours later, the meeting was finally close to
a conclusion.
"So, what are we going to do about it?"
Nobody bothered to raise their heads to find out who spoke. Not
anymore.
"Nothing", said Stomper. "We're going to try to keep a low
profile until 2001 comes and we close this cycle, then we will
probably try to strenghten the wall."
"Perhaps we could try to make the Authors post less than usual
in 99 and 2000?", suggested FWLass.
"But you said we can't affect the other side!", interjected a
very tired Master Of All Grumpy Martial Artists.
"We can try. If I remember correctly, Apathy Lad wasn't used by
anyone in this period... we could try to expand his aura to
cover the whole universe, so *PERHAPS* the Authors find more
interesting things to do than post."
"Perhaps some of them even get a life", said a character who
paid me a chocolate bar to stay anonymous.
"No!", said Irrelevant Kid. "Can't you see it's too dangerous?"
But, as always, nobody paid any attention.
"Fine. Do it. Now I'm off to destroy something", said the
Master of All Ninja-related Important-sounding Titles. And
after that, he actually left the room, which most LNHers
interpreted as the end of the meeting. Some of these decided it
was a good moment to sleep, but walking to their rooms was out
of question, so they just closed their eyes. Others were
already sleeping.
"You'll destroy everything!", screamed Irrelevant Kid.
================================================================
"So", said the Guardian of the Sacred Ginsu Blade in the next
day, "I take it you want to join the LNH."
"Well. No. Not really. This place is already crowded enough...
do you even know the names of all members? Not to mention
people and things that wonder in the HQ without being members,
like the wikis, ghosts, a living door and IIILass which I guess
we're supposed to forget about before 2001."
"I can see your point. And, honestly, I wouldn't feel exactly
safe with you around."
"Oh, never mind that. I will be around anyway. Part of my
'power' is to be where weird things happen, and this usually
means the LNHQ. The fact that this is the first time I'm inside
it is only due to my previous resistance to meeting you guys."
"I see."
"But I'd rather live somewhere else in the city, and be
available when you need me. You can write me up as reserve, if
you wish."
"And what about your 'mission', you know, Minority Miss?"
"Well, she isn't even aware of her powers yet. I considered
traveling to Pirenopolis and push her into becoming... whatever
she was named when she came here... you know, my author loves
time-travel paradoxes. But I decided it was too obvious."
"I appreciate that."
"So, I'll just hang around and let you guys know me better.
With the hole in the Wall, I know that a few weeks after I
receive her Journal she'll be floating between worlds in
etherspace, so somewhere around August 2001 I will borrow a
Net.Thingee if you trust me enough for that, perhaps assemble a
team, and go after the girls."
"You could rescue them in mid-2000 and retcon the whole Reality
Systems arc out of existence."
"Probably. But I would then find issues with the Apathy Effect
that would be at its peak by that time. No, let's leave things
that were already written alone."
"May I come in?", asked Irrelevant Kid.
"Who are you?", Weirdness Magnet asked back.
"You who?", the Master of Whatever Ninja added to the
insightful conversation.
"You can notice me?", asked (!) Irrelevant Kid to WM.
"I shouldn't?"
"No. I'm Irrelevant Kid, and, you see, I have this very stupid
power, that people just don't notice me. You know, it seems to
even be contagious, because, since you noticed me somehow and
started this conversation, UN stopped noticing both of us and
is back to his paperwork."
"Wow, you could be a narrator!"
"Yes, I guess I could."
"So, why do you ask if you can come in, when you know no one
will notice?"
"Just to keep the habit. You know, I could be a thief and live
in luxury with this power... but I'm too damn nice, and decided
to be a Net.Hero. This was... how many years ago? Too many. Of
course, I'm one of those characters that just don't age... but
I'm here for, well, quite a while."
"And you talk a lot, too."
"Sorry. I'm probably over-compensating for the fact that I
don't usually have people to talk to. Anyway, what I wanted to
say is - you have to stop Stomper!"
"That sounded silly. But why?"
"Can't you see? We're still in 99, when BOAV is being posted.
If his Apathy Effect succeeds, it may be responsible for the
gap in the posting, and actually *make* the ending wait till
2001, which will *create* the cracks in the Wall..."
"No, I don't think so. The cracks in the wall were created by
actions on the other side, as, of course, we determined that
our side can't affect the other one. Probably it was one joke
too many about the damn Wall, or one story too many of people
trying to cross it - or succeeding!"
"Makes sense. Even then..."
"Look. I'm from 2001, and I can guarantee that the plan will
work. The period between mid-99 to mid-2001 *was* really slow.
If this was the effect of the Apathy Field or not, I can't
tell, but it worked, will work."
Irrelevant Kid didn't seem too sure.
"Come on", said the guy in gray classy clothes, taking his
orange helmet off again. "Let's find some ice cream. Do they
sell chocolate-with-cherry in this city?"
================================================================
Blackbird looked very confused.
"Wow."
"Yeah, good word."
"So, you plan to use this weak-wall period to push the stories
trough, and somehow keep our timeline from happening?"
"I already did the first part, actually. Only one thing is
missing in my plan."
"Yes?", asked the boy with renewed interest. "What?"
"You'll find out when your friends get here."
"My friends? The Flight is coming?"
"Why, of course they are. Even if I'm acting for the common
good, in literary terms I'm the villain of the Acra Flight
mini, and minis always end with everyone gathered in the
villain's base."
"BOAV didn't."
"BOAV was everything but a mini. And it didn't actually end, of
course."
Blackbird stared at the emptiness; his face changed from
confused to thoughtful, then, after a while, to resolute.
"Fine. I'm ready for them."
****************************************************************
Next issue: Well, it depends.
Next issue of BOAV? There won't be one, we hope. Of course, we
all know there will.
Next issue of Minority Miss? Someday. She will move on to Weird
Tales now, and her title will be reserved to eventual stories
that need the Acraphobe seal.
Next issue of Acra Flight? The end of the saga, I hope.
Next issue of Weird Tales? You'll meet Minority Miss and New
Look Lass again.
----------------------------------------------------------------
All right, I'm still too Apathic to dig up the credits. I do
remember that Ultimate Ninja is (C) wReam. And of course Mouse
is (C) Jaelle. Others, well, aren't.
[]s,
|alo
+----
--
It doesn't bother me that people say things like
"you'll never get anywhere with this attitude".
In a few decades, it will make a good paragraph
in my biography. You know, for a laugh.
--
http://www.laranja.org/ mailto:lalo at laranja.org
pgp key: http://www.laranja.org/pessoal/pgp
Brazil of Darkness (RPG) --- http://www.BroDar.org/
==========
Next Week: And the sheep shall inherit the Loonivearth!
==========
Arthur "Same Classic Channel. But Same Time? Probably not." Spitzer
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