REPOST/LNH: Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2 of 4
arspitzer2 at gmail.com
Fri Mar 30 14:22:02 PDT 2018
The Jong Company Proudly Presents:
Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon #2
"The War on -- Easter!!!!!!"
8:27 AM Net.ropolis Time
A group of hooded men hovered over an operating table. Strapped down to
the table was what appeared to be a big lizard. A Komodo Dragon.
Strapped on its head was what looked to be one of those
brain-transferring helmets. Various wires were also inserted into him.
Right above him stood the leader of the cult. The cult leader's hands
held a severed goat's head dripping with blood. The blood dripped down
onto the body of the komodo dragon. The rest of the cultists were
chanting 'Separation of Church and State' over and over again.
The cult leader started to speak as he raised the goat's head high.
"You are no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon. You are
no longer Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon!! No. You are now
and forever -- Eggplant the Spring Festival Komodo Dragon!! You shall
become a beloved icon for all the children of the world -- not just the
Christian children -- who can be safely displayed in any public school.
Yes. Hindu children. Moslem children. Buddhist children. Even
Atheist children. And..."
"Enough!" Suddenly the cellar door burst open. The cultists looked up
to see who was interrupting their very sacred ritual. "Secular
Humanists!! No more shall you make war upon the Holiday of Easter!! No
More!! It is Time. Time -- For some Bible Lessons!!!" The Preacher
then took out a rather oddly shaped bible from his coat -- A boomerang
shaped bible -- and hurled it at the goat head. The goat head fell and
the bible continued on its path smacking each cult member in the head
and then finally returning itself back to the Preacher's hand.
"No!" the head cultist screamed. "You're interfering with out right
to..." But before he could complete that sentence a kung-fu punch from
the Preacher sent his jaw and rest of him down on floor like a sack of
The rest of the cultist swarmed him, but the Preacher was a
one-man-kicking-ass-and-taking-names machine. And when the last cultist
fell, the Preacher took out an axe like cross from one of his pockets
and used it to slice away the shackles that imprisoned Eggplant the
Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon.
"You are free -- Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon! Free once
more to teach the world the true meaning of Easter."
And Eggplant the Easter Miracle Komodo Dragon gave the Preacher a nod of
appreciation. He crawled over to where his Easter bonnet was placed and
put it back on his head. And then he proceeded to rip out the throats
of all of the Secular Humanist cult members.
OOooOO OOooOO OOooOO
Self-Righteous Preacher - wReam
Eggplant - Arthur Spitzer
Tomorrow: Beige Easter!
Arthur "Spring Festive" Spitzer
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