LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #49: Flame Wars III Part One

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Jun 27 18:42:33 PDT 2018


On 2/18/2018 2:31 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
> https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
> we have the first section of FLAME WARS III!

Ooooh. I've always been interested in this crossover, but haven't gotten all the 
parts together to read since Way Back In The Day. Tally-ho~

> Next, we have Saxon Brenton with Limp-Asparagus Lad (a character
> that originally was made by wReam to be a character example in the
> FAQ -- then was fished out by Robert "Mystic Mongoose" Armstrong
> for a mini -- and then Saxon got his hands on him and the rest is
> history) #18.  Do you ever have that feeling that LNH stories aren't
> jammed up with quite enough continuity references to obscure LNH
> stories -- well, then -- here's the story for you.

I KNOW RIGHT. :D I love Limp-Asparagus Lad so much

> 	{Cover is a black-and-white reproduction of Retcon Hour Omega
> with a stark, colorized Contraption Man superimposed on the front.  He
> is hanging his head in great sorrow.

oooooh, lovely.

> The Drizzt's Defense Files, that omipresent omnibus of omnivorous
> omniscience, defines "Tight Flight" as:
> 
> 	The late 20th century social phenomenon of wealthy and middle-
> 	class taxpayers fleeing cities with Super-HQs to avoid the high
> 	incidence of cosmic conquerors, property damamge, and
> 	mystical phenomenon.

You know, eventually I'm gonna argue for the exact opposite of this in a story.

> 	Sarcastic Lad landed the flight thingie and sighed.  He knew the
> reason the Legion responded to any and all calls for help in
> Net.ropolis. 

I mean, besides the fact that there's absolutely enough LNH members to do so. X3 
Hmmm, I should write something about this.

> A frantic adolescent had phoned the LNHHQ, hysterical over a gang
> of toughs that were stealing shopping bagger tips in a grocery store
> parking lot.  "Here I come to save the day-ay," he warbled, hopelessly
> off-key and without a shred of feeling.
> 	At the far end of the parking lot, a group of five twenty-
> something slackers shoved a pimply bagger aside.  They wheeled the
> groceries to a car, then intimidated the frightened housewife into
> giving an over-generous tip.

You know, this is supposed to be a lame crime, but honestly, if this happened to 
me, it'd be really fucked up and I would very much need help. o3o

> 	Before he could act, a blur of pale green, yellow and scarlet
> bounded over a nearby mini-van.  "That's enough of that, buger-heads!"

I've never seen "booger" spelled like that.

> 	Sarcastic Lad mouthed "buger-heads" as the youthful hero bounced,
> cavorted, kicked, punched and flung like a Steve Ditko bad dream.

Noice. :D

> At least he's not..."
> 	The kid leapt in the air to avoid a concerted rush at him, causing
> the other three to crash into each other beneath him.  "Don't fight
> guys, there's plenty of me to go around."
> 	"...doing snappy patter."

Extremely Spider-Man. :> I approve.

> 	"Here y'go ma'am.  You should never tip more than a dollar.  It
> just encourages this kind of thing..."

 >:/

> 	Sarc addressed her receding taillights.  "No ma'am please, you're
> embarrassing yourself.  Sexual favors are strictly against..."

Heeheehee. This is the kind of joke that's only funny when it's 
self-deprecating, I think. <3 And I actually really love how much Sarcastic Lad 
is allowed to be self-deprecating here - sometimes he's just That Guy Who Always 
Has A Put-Down For Everyone Else, or a quip machine.

> 	"No, Sarcastic Lad is the man that looks like me -- with a life.

See? <3

> 	"I'll sponsor you kid, but you gotta do your part.  Get a theme.
> How about this: 'Chismbob Boy -- when Evil needs accounting.' "

You know, back in the day this stuck in my mind. "What's a chismbob?" I thought. 
"I guess it has something to do with accounting. I guess I'll learn when I'm an 
adult who has to deal with money."

But of course, I never did. Recently, when going back thru stuff, I looked up 
the word, and did a deep dive, and I found _absolutely nothing_. Google results 
get misspellings, people named "Bobby Chism", and Flame Wars III. I don't 
understand. Is it a reference to an accounting term that isn't used anymore? 
Some kind of 1995-era meme? But those would show up *somewhere*. Was this some 
kind of weird typo that the other writers didn't get either but just rolled 
along with because that's what you do? @-@

> 	The bum hadn't made his way in Net.ropolis this long without
> recognizing the stamp of super-heroic affairs.  He did the rational
> thing.  He ran.

I mean, reasonable. o3o

> 	The bum's eyes had glazed over.  His mouth worked silently and his
> hands clenched .  From blank confusion, the bum's face slowly resolved
> to a mask of terror.
> 	"Time Travellers?  Time Travellers?!?  nonononoNoNoNoNONONONO!"
> 	The bum's grubby hands closed convulsively around the traveller's
> neck.  The sudden motion jarred the large, futuristic cannon aside,
> which would have been the only line of defense.  Weakened by his
> journey, the man put up little resistance to the bum's suddenly powerful
> grip.

Okay, I really do love this twist. <3 It's well-executed here - you really think 
that the homeless man is just yet another random viewpoint character to set up a 
superhero appearance, and suddenly, no, he's actually the important part. TBH 
I'd be a lot more annoyed at the portrayal of homeless people without that. o3o 
(Though there's a lot of economic-class-Weirdness floating around this story 
that I can't quite get a bead on.)

> 	"Uh huh.  Isn't this a school day?"
> 	"Evil knows no tardy bell."

That's honestly a great response.
> 	Lester sucked his teeth, staring at the dramatic pose the skinny
> adolescent had assumed.  He pressed the intercom.  "Master Blaster, Frat
> Boy, Incredible-Man-With-No-Life to the lobby please."
> 	"Are they going to guide me in?  Kewl!"
> 	The summoned Net.Heroes burst into the lobby.  Lester gestured a
> thumb at the garish hero-wannabe.
> 	"Ah!  Lookout guys. It's Continuity Champ's Tailor Jr.!" quipped
> Master Blaster.

Lester, you literally pulled in people specifically to insult him and make him 
feel bad. You're a terrible receptionist o3o

> 	Incredible-Man-With-No-Life started waggling his fingers.  "The
> answer is...10 to life!"
> 	"Sorry Clueless Master, it adds up to jail for you!"
> 	"Beware, these fingers are weapons of math fu!"  The three were
> hugging themselves in hysterics.

NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S A CHISMBOB @-@

> 	"Are these guys running the 'Silly Wannabe Name of the Month' Pool
> again?"  Lester nodded helplessly.  "I see."

 >:/ >:/ >:/

> 	"I'm sorry -- we really have to insist our minors have bona fide
> offensive or defensive super powers.  Child protection laws and all."

I guess that's not unreasonable, tho they definitely dropped that by the time 
Kid Enthusiastic came around. << >>

> 	"Oh hi Contraption Man.  I'm not sure.  These Chronomoters are
> going gaga, almost like they did a year ago during..."  The Doctor's
> voice trailed off as he darted a nervous glance at Contraption Man.
> 	"Retcon Hour?"  the Cobbler Supreme asked gently.
> 	"Well, yes."
> 	"You don't need to walk on eggs like this..."
> 	"I don't really know how to talk to you about that.

This is a surprisingly realistically awkward conversation. I love it. <3 
Subtly-bad-at-Dealing Doctor Stomper makes a lotta sense

> 	"Bwah-ha-ha!  Clog Dance Kid?"  Master Blaster massaged his
> temples in glee.
> 	Frat Boy choked out, "Beware the Tapping Terror!"
> 	Incredible-Man-With-No-Life chuckled, "Shuffle Hop Kick, Shuffle
> Hop Punch, Kick-Kick-Gouge 2-3..."
> 	Clog Dance Kid's lower lip fluttered and he ran from the LNH
> Lobby.
> 	"Dantherth are tho temper_men_tal," lisped MB.

You know, I'm really glad this kind of shit isn't a thing anymore. ^^;

> 	"So (@#&@in' help me if Jean-Claude Van *!@#$^!$@in' Damme comes
> outta there..." grumbled I-O Boy.
> 	"Hey!  He said Damn without being charactered out," complained
> Multi-Tasking Man.
> 	"Context Loophole, all the rage," said Dr. Stomper backhandedly,
> his eyes still on the detector.  "He can say 'bitch' if he's in a
> veterinarians' office too."
> 	I-O Boy's eyes widened in a hopeful grin.  "Oh man, I've gotta
> *!%^@in' get on a case involving Peter ($#!@ !@*#(&% Falk."

Meanwhile, I just make my adorable and silly characters swear all the time. o3o

> 	Suddenly Multi-Tasking Man smacked his forehead.  "Cripes!  I
> can't believe I forgot!  This happened a few months ago!  I investigated
> by myself and found some collection of gear.  I couldn't make head or
> tail of it so I put it in the sub-sub-sub-basement."
> 	"You forgot?"
> 	"Hey, you try managing 8-10 tasks 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
> Something is bound to fall through the cracks."

You know, this is an entirely reasonable interpretation. I like it.

> I've got it!  Teen SqueeezCheeez!
> Who could laugh at that?"
> 	"Don't you mean Teeen SqueeezCheeez?"
> 	"Let's stay conservative this time."

Heeheehee.

> 	Teen SqueeezCheeez smacked his lips.  "I'm starting to wonder if you
> really have my best interests at heart Mr. Sarcastic Lad."
> 	"Nonsense!  Off with you!  No need to thank me now, you can do
> it at our next LNH meeting."

Remember when I said I was liking Sarcastic Lad's characterization? Yeah, I feel 
like this is him being too much of an asshole. @-@

> 	The former bum touched a stud on the side of his faceplate.  The
> walls of the LNHHQ faded to grey while hyper-technology inside began
> glowing through the walls.  Kid Kirby's lab and quarters nearly blinded
> the bum until he found the adjustments.

Nice. That's a good detail.

> 	With a tremendous fwaash, the ground vaporised beneath him.  He
> dropped fifteen feet into a neatly formed cylindrical tunnel.

I love that sort of effect - a very nice mental image.

> 	Teen SqueeezCheeez kicked a rock petulantly as he walked back
> towards the LNHHQ.  "We'll let you in, we won't let you in.  We'll let
> you in, we won't let you in.  Did they treat Spite Grrrl like this?"

I'm pretty sure she forced her way in o3o

> 	"Y'know.  If this is a threat, and I save 'em from it...they'd
> _have_ to take me in then!  Ha!  Teen SqueeezCheeez to the rescue!"  He
> darted into the construction site with renewed glee.

I love this kid. (And I know what happens to him, aaa ;.;)

> 	Contraption Man sat in the half-light of the LNH's sub-sub-sub-
> basement, his back against the wall.  It was here that a year ago he had
> tried to kill Dr. Stomper and Deductive Logic Man.  He could remember
> thinking of wReamicus Maximus as his messiah and performing those acts.
> Thanks to the efforts of Self-Righteous Preacher he had been
> deprogrammed, but the incident still pained him.  He hadn't been mind-
> controlled, emotion-controlled, or controlled by QVC.  It had been his
> own misguided idea of salvation that had led him to it.  He had wanted
> to do it.  No amount of explanation of cult brainwashing techniques
> could dull that sharp guilt.  He had wanted to do it.

GOD CM is getting a lot of Good Characterization here. This becomes fundamental 
to him, too - see Beige Midnight for a place where Arthur taps into it very well.

> 	He didn't know which was worse, the occasional exclusion from
> missions like today, or the blind trust they seemed to greet him with
> most days.  It was all he could do to face them without hiding in shame.

Awwwwww ;.; Sweetie

> 	"I'd give everything I ever created if somehow it had never
> happen..."  CM stopped himself.  That smacked too much like Retcon which
> was where his troubles had all started.

That's such a good point

> The Future Fabricator's face
> hardened.  "If they can forgive me, maybe I can someday forgive myself.
> By becoming a true hero."

AW HON YOU ARE SO GOOD ;-;

> 	Contraption Man's resolve was not to get the dramatic pause it
> deserved.

Aw. X3

> 	A side wall vaporized, revealing a shabby, helmeted figure
> standing in a tunnel in the LNHHQ bedrock.  He gestured menacingly with
> a monstrous plasma rifle.  "Back off hero.  I have no quarrel with you,
> but there's something here I _must_ have."

Um, couldn't you just explain o3o I mean, I can draw a line to say "probably he 
thinks he needs to hurry and doesn't have time" or something like that, but it 
would be useful if the story drew it.

> 	"Forget it.  You've picked a bad time to pick a fight with me..."

Man, the preceding scene lends *so* much more to that line. :D

> 	"I don't have time to explain things.

That does help but still.

> 	Contraption Man had not been idle.  The hero from the future had
> mated several parts from a destroyed machine sharing his misfortune.

So cool. :D

> The black armor flowed like liquid,
> his dark arms telescoping nano-draulically like retractable cables.

Oh that's cool.

> CM
> dodged between the darting appendages, but one caught him blind sided,
> making him drop the nearly-completed inertial differentiator.  CM barely
> dodged another flying fist on a twelve foot cable-arm, when the first
> caught him again.

This is also a wonderfully visual scene.

> 	"Hey gruesome, why have a party if you don't invite...Teen
> SqueeezCheeez!"

I love the Good Kid's willingness to roll with banter.

> His voice
> echoed back, a hint of sorrow in it.  "I didn't want it like this.  You
> left me no choice."

They really didn't tho o3o

> 	For his part, Contraption Man barely had time to think.  His hands
> were a blur as he reformed his invention into a shield generator.  With
> the room near collapse he didn't have time to make a generator large
> enough for both himself and his pre-pubescent rescuer.

That's just. SO GOOD.

> Or
> * Preludes and Nonsense
> Part 0 of Leftovers
> ( i'm gonna regret this, i just know i will... )

I mean, you never finished it, so it seems like o3o

> Below the (extraordinarily dull) 'Limp-Asparagus Lad' logo
> is the far more interesting 'The Flame Wars III Part 2' logo.

Heeheehee

>    What has gone before: In the beginning there was nothing, which
> exploded. More recently, however,

Heeheehee <3 I love Saxon's writing so much.

>    Elsewhere/elsewhen, a figure in black armour brooded. He'd had a
> lot of practice, and was getting quite good at it.

I really want to see him come back.

> Whoever it is
> shall know the wrath of... Oh! Soddit! Damn! I forgot to put
> exclamations in that dialogue!" His shoulders slumped, and he sighed.

Heeheehee

> " i need more work at this, " he grumbled under his breath, and then
> he hit a switch.

Cuteness

>    The armoured figure drew himself up. "What care I for the fate of
> humanity!?" he snarled, remembering to add exclamations to the
> rhetorical question. That improved his mood a bit.

Heeheehee

>    There was a second's pause from outside, before the voice over the
> comm system replied and spake thusly, "Geoff, it's Natalie. Stop
> p*ssing around and let me in." There was more than a hint of
> irritation in her voice.

This is such a Good relationship. :D I'm sorry, I know I'm gushing about this 
and it's only started, but I've re-read these issues like six times and it's Good.

>    When she arrived he briefly looked her over. She was a woman in her
> mid thirties. That implied that despite all the jumping around in
> time he'd done earlier in his career at the behest of his brother,
> Mr. Minister, they were now meeting at a time when their personal
> chronological ages matched properly again.

Like, this feels like "a useful explanation of existing backstory" only there's 
no existing backstory for their relationship, it's being made up here. 
(Sufferyng's an existing character, but Natalie is new.)

>    "In the mid 24th century the RACelestials are about to conclude
> their 50 year judgement of humanity, and the decision isn't going to
> be good.

I love this idea. <3

>    They stood, glaring at each other, trembling in fury. With a massive
> effort of will Artemis drew herself back under control. "I've missed
> you, Geoff," she said quietly. "More than you can possibly imagine.
> But I can't afford to keep trying to prod you on and prop you up. Not
> when the fate of the entire Looniearth hangs in the balance. If you
> can't commit yourself to doing something for once, just because it's
> right, and not because someone else is pressuring you into it, then
> just say so and I'll go."

That's a really strong statement. Man, there's a lot of good characterization 
around here.

>    She watched his eyes. They were pools of anxiety, self-loathing and
> pain. Part of her wanted to hold him like in happier times, and love
> him, and make the pain go away. The rest of her felt sick with disgust
> that even after all this time he _still_ didn't have the spine to make
> a decision on his own.

Also relatably complicated.

>    "But maybe if you aren't wearing such distinctive armour..." she
> suggested. "You know, from the moment I found you were using this
> identity, I've wondered what possessed you to be so masochistic."

I mean, let's face it, he's such a sub.

>    "In other words, you wanted to look like a villain. It's a
> supervillain's idea of chains and 'death' spelt out in studs on a
> leather jacket, with most supervillain costumes being adolescent
> attempts to look tough anyway."

That's such a great way to put it.

>    "And you want to say you're a wanna-be villain with pretensions of
> being bad-ass?" she asked sceptically.
>    He shrugged in resignation. "It seemed appropriate at the time," he
> said bleakly.

Oh hon.

>    "Okay, that's all Limpy. You can get down now," said Dr. Stomper.
>    Limp-Asparagus Lad did so, swivelling off the examination table and
> putting his shirt back on. It was not his usual spandex top, but then
> that part of his costume hardly fitted him anymore. Last issue he had
> undergone a freakish physical transformation, and now had muscles on
> his torso that made him look like a case of steroid abuse taken to
> horrible extremes. His chest, shoulders, upper arm and thigh muscles
> had grown to the size of watermelons, but the rest of his anatomy
> remained the same, making him look absurdly disproportionate.

This has never actually gotten undone, I believe.

>    "The energy schematics confirm what I suspected. It's Leifeldian."
> Dr. S frowned. First Retcon Lad starts exhibiting excess Niciezan
> energy, and now this. He made a mental note to check the records of
> the rest of their family to see if there was a history of overdoses
> of fanboy market energies. Maybe it was hereditary.

Oh noes, Deadpool 2 is bringing back both of those!!

>    "Actually, there may be something..."
>    "Yes?"
>    "I think I may have been feeling a bit silly about looking like
> this."
>    Dr. Stomper pursed his lips. Feeling 'silly' would be a normal
> reaction for anyone in this situation, but L-ALad was supposed to be
> insulated from any sort of emotional reaction as a side effect of his
> powers. Did this indicate a weakening of his drama dampening field?

DUN DUN

>    Geoffrey buried his face in Natalie's hair. It had been a very long
> time since they had shared snugglebunnies, but now he was content
> simply to be in her presence.

awwwwwwww

>    "No, I guess not." He grinned at her. "Spandex in primary colours
> is beginning to sound attractive."
>    "Bet you want a cape too."
>    "Mmmm. A cape'd be nice."

D'awwww.

>    "Maybe. I notice that it never stopped you trying to make me over
> into what you wanted, though."
>    "You've never been beyond hope as far as I was concerned," she told
> him seriously.

Awwwww.

>    He smiled shyly. "Well, I'm with you... Uhm... I'd better think of
> a name too. Uh, Brooding Boy? Whipping Boy? Angst Lad? Snivelling
> Lad? Loser Lad? Pathetikid?"

SWEETIE!!

> The sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub (etc.) basements weren't
> particularly well lit. This was partly because of the need to cut
> back on power bills, and partly because of the conventions of the
> genre (things had to be dark, with just enough light for the audience
> to see what was going on).

Eventually leading to them being lit by literal torches.

>    Of course, the reason why there needed to _be_ sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-
> sub (etc.) basements was not just because of plot contrivance, or
> because of the ever-increasing number of Legionnaires. It was also
> because of all the junk that needed to be stored. Including things
> that, strictly speaking, had nothing to do with the Legion. Stuff
> that dated back before their formation, back to the times of the
> Legion of Net.Hippies and the Net.astic Nine in the sixties, Four
> Colour Man and the P.U.L.P. Syndicate in the forties. And probably
> beyond as the demands of absurd back history demanded.

The absurd back history eventually stretches into the sub(etc.)-basements 
existing before the LNHQ did, and connectiong to other Looniverses. :D

>    He paused, trying to catch the sound more clearly. Could it be
> _another_ receptionist gone feral in the protean depths of the
> building?

Heeheehee. Man, I feel like this one issue influenced a lot of the Spoon of 
Destiny saga. X3

>    .oO(Blast!) thought the other. (This overmuscled freak must have
> invulnerability to go with his superhuman strength,) he decided.
>    .oO('Superhuman strength'? I think he has me mistaken fo... Oh.
> Wait. That was a thought balloon. I shouldn't have read that.)

Heeheeheehee

>    Just then, Footnote Girl was walking past. (I wonder what she's
> doing down here in the sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub (etc.) basement? Hmm,
> absurd plot contrivance? Nah. I used that excuse last issue. Okay,
> uhm, she's been down in the sports storeroom getting a new hockey
> stick. Yeah, that's it. Hey, and that'll mean she's armed for the
> fight scene too! Cool.)

X3 I love this style, have I mentioned

>    Footnote Girl heard sounds in the distance. She paused, head cocked
> to one side. What to do? In the past she would have carefully crept
> up and found out what was happening, then gone off to get the
> authorities if necessary. Of course, if there was a need to hurry,
> then going back to get the authorities would also include the risk of
> spraining her ankle. But that sort of thing was a fairly standard
> hazard thrown in for dramatic tension purposes and could hardly be
> avoided in many genres.
>    Now, however, FGirl felt the need for more direct intervention. It
> was almost certainly the fact that the Looniverse had a different
> gene to what she was used to. Hefting her stick, she boldly advanced
> forward.

I very much love these areas where different genres and traditions mix. :>

> The LNHQ rumour mill said something had
> happened to him last issue, and this freak who looked like Prime - or
> worse, Crazy Marvin 

Man, so many references that are now forgotten. X3

>    "Limp-Asparagus Lad?" wondered the armoured man. "You don't look
> anything like Limp-Asparagus Lad." Then his voice filled with horror.
> "Oh no! You're a future version of Limp-Asparagus Lad who's been
> hideously transformed and gone Evil!" he exclaimed.

*snerk*

>    Meanwhile:
>    Well, actually, perhaps not quite 'meanwhile'. It's normal to use
> that word to describe events occurring elsewhere that are concurrent
> with other events. Unfortunately, things get a little bit messy when
> you're dealing with time travel. Nevertheless, the following events
> can, in at least one sense, be said to be happening 'meanwhile', for
> reasons that will hopefully become clear. But they are not happening
> at the same time. Hence the problem. Oh well, I'll just have to make
> do.
>    Hm? So when are they happening? Oh, sorry, of course.

Heeheehee <3 <3 <3 Love it.

>    The Rear-End of Time:
>    Look about you. See the ruins of a once mighty newsgroup. Ah, sorry.
> Nothing to see them by. The sun went nova several trillions of years
> ago, and is now just a black dwarf. Now it's little more than a
> traffic hazard for those pesky teenage alien Teasers who cruise
> around the cosmos finding inhabited planets that haven't made
> interstellar contact yet, then setting down in a deserted spot in
> front of some poor soul who no-one's going to believe and strut up
> and down making 'beep beep' noises. Or it would be, if there were any
> Teasers left. There aren't. There haven't really been many people
> about for quite some time. Either here or anywhere else in this
> universe. Anyway, hold up a sec while I arrange for some illumination
> for us. There. Okay, _now_ can you see the ruins of a once mighty
> newsgroup? Good.
>    Smell the air, stale with the eons-old passage of time. Well,
> what's left of the air. The atmosphere boiled off into space when the
> sun went nova. So why, I hear you ask, is there still _any_ air left
> to breathe? Good question.
>    It was imported. (Why do you think Brainiac 5, Duo Damsel, Saturn
> Girl and the others were able to breathe when they went after the
> Time Trapper in _Legion of Super Heroes_ #50 back in '88, hmmm?) And
> then it was lovingly tailored just so that it _would_ smell stale as
> if from an eons-old passage of time. Some people have very strange
> ideas about interior (or exterior, as the case may be) decoration.
> But then the Rear-End of Time attracts some very strange people.
>    It's like, you know, necronerds. People who think it's cool to
> dress up in black and have a pale complexion and look consumptive
> and generally affect the appearance of being a vampire when you're
> really a vegetarian. Well, there are some daft idiots who think it's
> cool to hang out at the Rear-End of Time. People who are about as
> balanced as an up-turned pyramid. Mr E. K. Mouse _didn't_ set up shop
> in the final newsgroup of net.death.immenent because he liked the
> view you know; he did it because he's a loony.

I'm just leaving this whole thing together because I don't know where to 
interrupt this entire Douglas Adams-esque ramble, and it's Gold. <3 <3 <3

>    Up ahead, a being that defies description monitors the passage of
> ages. He is the Emperor of Excrement, the Czar of Coprology, the
> Potentate of Poo, the Sultan of Stool. He is... the Time Crapper!

Heeheeheehee X3 <3

>    With hands that could _really_ do with a wash,

*cacklesnerk*

> the Crapper caresses
> a viewing crystal. Within, the flux and flow of eons was his to
> behold. And guess which particular part of time he's watching. Yes,
> _that's_ why this scene warrants a 'meanwhile'.

Also, I note that it's completely unspecified *which* Time Crapper this is. 1 
and 2 were both sent down the river by Retcon Hour, and the later ones hadn't 
been created yet. (Personally, I like to think that it's Time Crapper V, the one 
that I skipped over in Digital Jump!*Special #1. But that's mostly me liking my 
own stories again.)

>    "It is as anticipated," he noted to himself. (Have you ever noticed
> how much supervillains like to talk out loud? Although I suppose
> _they'd_ say they were engaging in dramatic monologues or something.
> Boy, talk about pretentious. And cosmically powerful ones like the
> Crapper are among the worst.)

Heeheehee

>    "You've been playing supervillain too long," she replied. "You'll
> have to get out of the habit of skulking. With all the other
> superbeings and general weirdness in this city, no-one's going to
> remark on, or probably even notice, our arrival."
>    "HALT, TIME TRAVELLERS!" boomed the amplified voice of a black
> armoured form from above them.
>    "...On the other hand."

*cackles* Yessss. Saxon is really On with this one.

>    Redemption thought quick, and settled on the option of just making
> him go away. "Wrong, fool!" he taunted. "You can stay here and tear
> up the building as much as you want, but you won't stop me from
> reaching Net.ropolis Park." Then 'Demp ducked behind a television
> antenna. The other, who had been glaring at 'Demp, puzzled as his
> opponent suddenly and completely vanished from sight. Obviously the
> spandexer had teleported. The assassin flew off, intent on tracking
> down that blasted time traveller.

That's a really Good tactic. :3

> Adventures On The Letterspage #6

I enjoyed Letters Page Man a lot. <3 I've been looking for ways to bring more 
creative feedback into stuff...

>    And this is the reason that the Madness itself is bound. It is a
> creature of pure creativity, beyond that which the mortal mind can
> hope to cope with.

I'm gonna be honest, not a fan of linking creativity to mental illness. It's 
reductive and has lead to a lot of fuckery and people leaving their own needs 
behind in pursuit of Art, believing that it is their Fate as a Great Artist, 
even though they'd make much more and much better art with an actual meaningful 
support system.

That said, this little bit has always been... compelling, even as I've never 
quite known what to make of it.

>      - As for all the continuity acknowledgment, and all the
>      explanations of why things work in the way they do in the
>      Looniverse, well, I like that sort of thing. But that should be
>      obvious, 'cause otherwise I wouldn't have wrote them. :-)

:3 <3 Indulgence!

>      - A series called 'The Whole LNH'? Gaah! Don't DO that to me!

I would do it, but considering I'm one of two active LNH writers right now, I 
kind of am? X3

>      - Tharkoldu jakatts are something silly I created last year. We
>      had lots of fun arguing about trying to make them less powerful
>      and what Spirit axiom they'd need to function at.
>      - As for how it came about, well, eventually a techno-demon
>      physically transformed and adapted to survive in the low Magic
>      environment of the Living Land. As this was happening, Lanala saw
>      that this new worshipper of hers was a walking deadthing, and this
>      made her sad. So Lanala now practices divine intervention in all
>      tharkoldu physical transformations to LL reality, and makes sure
>      they become people rather than demons.

I see, so this is what it's like when I start infodumping

Drew "good to know" Perron


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