LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #47: The Crimes of the Brotherhood Part Ten

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Jun 18 22:49:37 PDT 2018

On 6/19/2018 1:21 AM, Drew Perron wrote:
> Drew "and now, the conclusion" Perron

...or not, since, for some reason, issue #21 wasn't included in my reply. X3 
Sigh. Let's see if...

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Jeff Barnes                                           barnejd at wkuvx1.wku.edu
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> "The strongest desire is neither love nor hate.  It is one person's need to 
>  change another person's copy."                                  - Anonymous

There we go. (...what does this quote even mean)

> the last thing he 
> remembered, he'd desperately tried to teleport away just as Eraserhead's
> deleting eyebeams had struck him.  He'd surmised that he'd managed to open 
> a partial portal, the energies of which had interacted with the beams to 
> create a tear in reality, sucking him in and depositing him here, in the 
> dimension the LNH had named the Comics Crossroads.


> 	He had at first been too weak to attempt the somewhat hazardous 
> dimensional jaunt back to the Looniverse.  However, he had been well-rested
> enough to attempt it for several days now.  It wasn't that he could not 
> return, but that he no longer desired to return.

Ahhhh, one of those.

> 	CC nodded.  "May I ask your name?"
> 	"Aye, ye may."
> 	CC waited until it became apparent the old man was not going to say 
> any more.  "Then what is it?"
> 	"Names are either things of power or of no consequence.  But," he 
> said, noting CC's rising impatience,


> 	CC looked down self-consciously at the green, orange, and purple 
> garb he wore.  Why was everyone always making fun of his clothes?  They'd 
> been quite stylish on the planet where he'd originally acquired them.

I do enjoy this running gag. X3

> 	"They're better off without me.  All I do is attract pain and 
> suffering everywhere I go."

This angst is a bit generic, though it fits his history.

> 	CC looked sadly at Judak's image.  "Every... every time in my life 
> I've been close to being happy, something terrible has happened to those that
> I... care about.  That I love."  He paused, then continued.  "Better for 
> me to hold it all inside, to never let my guard down, that for her to be 
> harmed.  Better for her to think I'm dead."

This is some reasonable fleshing-out, tho.

> "But denying thyself is not the answer.  Ye do 
> harm her more by hiding from her than facing her ever would do.

Ya hear that, shoujo love interests? >:/

> 	After the farewells had been said and Continuity Champ had gone, 
> Muse smiled softly to himself.  And then, the aged visage dissolved away into
> a ball of sentient energy that Judak would have recognized as Spark.

Ahhhh. Not bad, not bad

> 	"That's *the* Drizzt," the cosmic entity corrected kindly.  "But 
> call me Jaeger.  That's what you always used to call me, you know."

Oh god he's gonna turn out to actually be Evil

> 	"Actually, it's Dvorakian for 'he who looks in every nook and 
> cranny while searching for something, going so far as to clean up the attic
> in his quest for the missing item.'  But I suppose 'hunter' is pretty close."


> 	"Well, it's all rather complicated, but it has to do with a certain 
> couch.  The perfect couch, in fact.

Aaaaaa, Evil Drizzt Jaeger is looking for the Klein Couch that Acton Lord used 
to approach the Source Code! *runs around yelling*

> 	CC leaned forward.  "Somehow, I feel I know you.  From the past.

I mean, statements from him like "that's what you used to call me" do tend to 
indicate that o3o

> After you turned your back on him and helped to stop him from devouring 
> this reality -- and, before I forget, let me add that I'm very grateful for 
> that -- he didn't just exile you here or even strip you of your powers.
> He beat you to within an inch of your life, then left you there to die in 
> slow, ebbing agony."

Ow. Fair.

> 	"I'll get to that in a moment," the cosmic being said.  "At any rate,
> that was how our friendship began, a friendship that lasted millennia.  You
> repaid me many times over with your company and protection.  I am limited,
> you know, for I can never manifest myself in this reality outside the reality
> buffers installed in that craft, and later in the Drizzsat.  You acted as 
> protector and guardian for me, and for that I will ever be grateful."

I wonder if these adventures ever got their stories told. Or referenced outside 
of this o3o

> 	Then Jaeger's face grew grim.  "But that happy time did not last
> forever.  Not long ago -- two or three centuries ago -- there was a huge rip
> in reality that threatened to sunder the Looniverse, or at least a large 
> portion of it.  You stopped it from destroying reality, but the cost was 
> high.  You were obliterated.  Totally.  Utterly."

Oh damn.

> 	"Oh, sorry.  That was... finding, cataloging, and reassembling every
> atom that had been yours.

Oh, wow. That's honestly an amazing idea.

> 	"Yes, almost."  Jaeger wrung his hands together and resumed his 
> pacing.  "You see, the resultant being was somewhat... unstable.  Holding 
> together his... pardon, your, matrix was difficult, given the energies the 
> reality flare had bathed you in.  There were two main problem areas: power 
> level fluctuations and emotional instability.  There were also memory gaps,
> some of which I had to induce," he smiled apologetically, "to help preserve
> your sanity.

I mean... I wouldn't expect a being reassembled from atoms would really, 
necessarily, *have* any memories in particular o3o Unless you've got some kind 
of immortal soul in there, but even then...

> 	CC sat, his fingers steepled, then slowly nodded in acceptance of the
> apology.  Then he spoke.  "I suppose this means I'm not the real Continuity 
> Champ, then, just a being created out of his atoms."

I mean, I'm not even sure you called yourself Continuity Champ before, so~

> 	The Drizzt sat back in his seat, a somewhat forlorn look on his face.
> "What I said about the instability of your physiology..."  He sighed.  "The
> energies you were bathed in when your body was disintegrated... they're 
> still a part of you.  They're still acting upon your body, destroying it from
> within.  After the Cry.Sig, your... condition went into remission, which was
> another reason I'd decided to let you fly free.  Lately, though..."  The 
> Drizzt paused.  "Lately, I'm afraid it's returned, stronger than ever."  He
> looked up at his friend, tears in the corners of his eyes.
> 	"You're dying, Darryth.  And there's nothing I've been able to do to
> reverse it."

This is kind of a sudden conflict. X3

> 	The Drizzt sat there for several minutes, until a slow smile crept 
> across his face, a smile that was echoed by a floating ball of energy that 
> appeared from nowhere a few seconds later.  The Drizzt reached out to Spark, 
> and felt the tingling rush as they merged.  The cosmic being then flexed his 
> hands, glad for the return of the trans-temporal aspect of himself.

Aw snap, etc.

> 	It was good, he reflected, to be whole.
> 	It was good to once again know how the story would end.

That's a good ending.

Drew "Auntie Drizzt" Perron

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