LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #40: The Crimes of the Brotherhood Part Three
pwerdna at gmail.com
Fri Jan 26 21:10:23 PST 2018
On 12/17/2017 8:27 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> Firstly, we have Jeff "Drizzt" Barnes with the first issue ofInsanity Unlimited that
> deals with the David Lynch film 'Eraserhead' or maybe it's the Brotherhood
> of Net.Villain.. guess you'll have to read it to find out.
Drizzt seems like the kind of person who would reference that.
> INSANITY UNLIMITED #1
> "Big Monsters And Stuff"
Scary Monsters and Super Freaks
> Deep beneath the streets of Net.ropolis, in a secret subterranean
> chamber, lived a beast known only as the Egaboo. Its true origins are
> unknown, having been retconned at least half a dozen times. However, they
> are not important. What is important about the Egaboo is that it has
> spawned over one hundred eggs, and in a matter of months, or perhaps weeks,
> or perhaps days, its brood will hatch, burrow up through the earth, and
> attack the denizens of Net.ropolis.
> Unfortunately, this story is not about the Egaboo. I just thought
> you'd like to know in case you live in the city, what with insurance rates
> already going through the roof.
> What this story is about is a man named Mr. Homage. Well, actually,
> that isn't his name at all, but it is the title he has taken at present.
He stole it from the Silver Age Mister Homage.
> There was one member of the Brotherhood, though, for whom this
> proved difficult. His name was Eraserhead.
Oh, that guy
> After long years of scrimping and saving, he'd at last accumulated
> enough purchase points to get his dream machine from the Villain Home
> Shopping Network.
I want a story about VHSN
> "No, you mylar moron! The Massmaster 2000 is the cutting edge of
> hypergrowth technology! It allows a living subject who wears it to grow
> in size and mass by importing it from an extradimensional source." He
> whirled dramatically, his cape flaring.
> "And I know exactly who that subject should be..."
DUN DUN DUNNNNN
> They called him Eraserhead. This, of course, was no more his
> name that Mr. Homage was Mr. Homage's true name.
Oh, that's strange and mystical and--
> His true name was the
> word "Graaauhhhh" said with just the precise tone and inflection.
> Where was I? Ah, yes. Mr. Homage had encountered the creature he
> dubbed Eraserhead during his transdimensional jaunt. Why did it follow him?
> Even he had no explanation. All he knew was that it followed him everywhere,
> did as he bade it, and protected him from harm. Its orgins and its motives
> mattered nothing to him, since Eraserhead appeared to be mindless.
> Unfortunately, while this made Eraserhead the perfect minion, it
> made his developing a plan somewhat problematic. But now, with the
> Massmaster 2000, Homage had the perfect plan.
> Net.ropolis was used to disasters, but what havoc would a 100 foot
> tall Eraserhead cause?
Wait, how will this achieve profit
> Substitute Lad was leisurely sipping his Bola Cola (the official
> soft drink of the LNH)
Mr. Paprika *definitely* existed by this point, that's all I'm saying
> "All right, you asked for it!" Chloro Phil summoned his plant-based
> powers and caused a giant dandelion to grow almost instantly. "You sow the
> wind, creature. Now reap my whirlwind!" He puffed mightily, scattering the
> fuzzy weed upward, into Eraserhead's face. For the first time, the giant
> monster stopped.
> "GRRRA-" it moaned.
> "GRRRA-" it growled.
> "GRRRA-" it began again.
Okay, that's pretty good.
> Kid Yesterdaze bent over the unconscious plant-man. "Looks like he's
> still alive. I guess." He shook Chloro Phil, earning a groan from the
> prone hero. "Yep, he's alive."
I was honestly unsure, so that's a relief.
> Supernatural energies
> flowed through him, weaving together to form the shape of a Rabid Wombat.
> "I looove that picture," he muttered to himself, gesturing the
> wombat forward and heaping enchantments upon it.
> It was about that time that he stomped on yet another net.hero.
> He was proud. He was powerful. He was Canadian.
> And he was in an Insanity comic, so he was dead.
Siiiiiiiigh. ^^; "Lame character is overconfident and dies gorily" is one of my
least favorite superhero tropes.
> "Hmmmm," CM said, furrowing his brow in concentration. "It's
> possible... but it would take me at least 15 minutes. And we'd have to
> shunt him to another dimension. Space travel is too iffy. And we'd need a
> refractor. And some mangoes, of course. Can't build an extradimensional
> transposer without mango juice. And a power source of some kind.
I love this characterization.
> "And Sue can do the same," Yesterdaze said. "Go ahead," he said to
> Psuedonymph. "Copy Sub Lad copying Contraption Man."
This really reminds me of the Lee/Kirby Fantastic Four... in that it has the man
telling the woman to use her powers instead of the woman just using her powers. @-@
> "What about a power source? We'll need something with a lot of
> kick," Contraption Man #3 said.
> "Will a fireball suffice?" the Master of the Gathering asked. "Or
> several Lightning Bolts?"
I really enjoy the "diverse characters combining powersets to achieve their
goal" trope, though. <3
> Mr. Homage watched as his most loyal follower disappeared. He sighed,
> then turned back to his clone-making machine, inserting his cell sample
> for Eraserhead. If at first you don't succeed...
> Graaauhhh? he thought to himself (which, when translated from
> Eraserheadese, means "Is this the one I have looked for for so long?").
> Graaauhhh, he noted silently (which means, "It sure looks like her.")
> At last, he made a decision and spoke to the other. "Graaauhhh?"
> (translation: "Momma?")
> The other spoke back. "Graaauhhh? Graaauhhh!" ("Junior? My, how
> you've grown since the last time I saw you...")
> AMNESIA in "Precious Memories"
> Amnesia sat in the briefing room. It had been minutes since Mr.
> Homage's briefing. That much she remembered. But what had he said? It
> had been important, she was certain. If only she could remember... She
> began her usual subject litanty.
> Aardvarks? No, not ardvaarks...
Drew "that's good stuff" Perron
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