MISC: Star Crossed I: The Metarese Parrot: ch 1
pwerdna at gmail.com
Thu Feb 1 20:26:42 PST 2018
On 1/26/2018 1:47 AM, Jeanne Morningstar wrote:
> STAR CROSSED: THE METARESE PARROT
> CHAPTER I
> by Jeanne Morningstar
I got to read this before it was posted, so I waited a couple days to re-read it
for maximum effect. ...and then I got distracted and a few more days passed. >#> So!
> The starport in Metare was like many Alyx had seen since she'd set out on her
> journey--the abstract ornamentation on the walls were tarnished.
This is a fascinating place to start, leaping into description.
> An allegorical
> fountain statue of black stone which had seen better days stood by the exit, a
> woman holding a water jar with the constellations painted on her body in gold,
> probably made long after the starport was originally built. It might have been
> created simply for decoration, but now was a sacred object, with prayers and
> offerings left at its feet.
I love that idea. <3 Ancient things become important, even in a place like a
> This was a much more prestigious place, once, before
> the collapse of the Centauripop conglomerate and the centuries-long corporate
> hot and cold wars that led to the formation of the Neutral Zone.
The corporate-dominated run-down galaxy here - Blade Runner extended out across
planets and systems - is reminiscent of the Doctor Who New Adventures books of
the '90s. Not surprisingly, since I know those are a major influence on Adrian.
> Alyx saw what seemed as many different varieties of human being as there were in
> all the universe, and felt them jostling around in her thoughts.
"felt them jostling around in her thoughts" is *such* a good way to phrase that.
> In her home
> world, most had stuck closer to the classical human template; here there were
> people with iridescent blue skin or tentacles or translucent wings, some barely
> recognizable as human.
> There were a good many cyborgs--something she still had
> trouble with sometimes, as the Order of the Unclosing Eye had always looked down
> on cybernetics.
It's interesting that, in the middle of a big description of the world and how
it works, you also find moments of more subtle worldbuilding.
> and illegal almost everywhere to replace more than 10%
> of one's body with cybernetics other than for work or military purposes.
Honestly, I feel ike "for work or military purposes" is the most chilling clause
> Kel cut quite a contrast to Alyx, with her rakish short
> haircut, dashing red jacket, and conspicuous gun belt.
> "Guess we'll do the usual," said Kel, as they made their way along the concourse
> past the food court. "Check to see if anyone here has any leads for either of
> us, and then head out to somewhere more interesting."
> "I've had enough interesting for quite a while, myself," said Alyx.
I also really enjoy the fact that we are so clearly leaping into adventures in
progress. This isn't chapter 1 of their journeys, it's at least chapter 5 or 6.
> Before they could go down the staircase to the first floor, they saw someone
> walking toward them, wearing sunglasses that were significantly larger than
> Alyx's, a black shawl wrapped around their head and shoulders, and black leather
> pants. A strand of dark blonde hair peeked out from the shawl.
It's Draco Malfoy!
> Alyx had a
> feeling that this was their idea of being inconspicuous--which made her feel a
> little better about herself by comparison--
> This would have been when
> she was part of a small and disreputable travelling Shakespeare troupe, Lord
> Nonesuch's Men,
That is *such* a good backstory bit. It's not traditional cyberpunk at all and
yet fits so nicely.
> The memory then flashed to the girl pulling herself out of her over-ruffled
> dress, Kel kissing the freckles on her shoulder, the two of them fumbling around
> in the wine cellar and beating a hasty retreat when someone knocked on the door.
> <<I still feel it's a little presumptuous to call yourself captain of a ship
> that has all of two people.>> thought Alyx.
> "Oh, I guess you don't know each other, huh," said Kel. "Alyx, this is Lady
> Emeliane Sentros, of Keshdan. Eme, this is Alyx Lyranae, my, uh, companion."
> "Oh, I see." Lady Emeliane tilted her head.
> "Ah, no, it's not like that," said Kel, throwing up her hands.
> "It's--we're--it's complicated."
:3 :3 :3
> "It's a long story," said Emeliane. "I--"
> Just then, of course, there was a gunshot.
> Kel drew her old-fashioned, elegant laser-pistol swifter than the eye could see,
> blasting at the the soldiers.
An elegant weapon, from a more civilized time.
> A few other passengers
> took out guns and start shooting at the soldiers, while others started
> haphazardly shooting at each other.
FOOD FIGHT! I mean...
> She yanked into his mind and put a wall between him
> and the part that knew how to pilot the suit. The man was hit by a wave of panic
> and, thrashing around, fell to the street below.
Oh, that's nice and mean.
> "Wellll," said Kel, "I mean, we haven't made a lot of progress, true, but it's
> kind of like when you lose your keys and then look over for them and they're not
> there and so you have to put that aside and do something else and then they turn
> up..." Alyx stared unimpressedly at her.
> "Well," said Kel, cautiously opening the case. "We'll figure out what to do with
> The case exploded into a flutter of green wings. "Arawk! Fifty men on a
> spaceman's chest!"
> I decided to take a page from Felix's book and just go ahead and write a short
> ("short") chapter in a series I'd had in mind for a while without worrying
> whether or not I'd finish it.
Drew "this is a good technique" Perron
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