LNH20: Bite-Size Tales of the LNH v20 #20: "Independent Research"

[Arthur Spitzer]

"Curses!" said a figure that was parked outside of the LNHHQ on a lawn 
chair with a margarita tightly in his hand.  "I was so, so sure that 2018 
would finally be the year that broke Drew Perron.  But no, still writing 
these damn stories.  Still keeping the LNH's damn torch alive.

He gave a sigh.  "But I can wait.  For I've waited since the first LNH 
post was ever posted back in 1992.  I have been waiting on the lawn of 
every single possible LNH Looniverse slowly sipping away at this very old 
margarita.  Waiting for the last -- very last story!  And I can keep 
waiting.  For I am," giving a little dramatic pause before speaking, 
"Waiting-For-the-LNH-To-Die Guy!!!!

"Maybe it won't die in 2019.  Maybe not even in 2020.  Or 2021.  But.  
Given enough time -- these writers will eventually get too old to write 
these damn stories.  Too tired.  And after that final LNH story is posted 
-- I'll be there ready to gloat.  Of course you won't be able to read of 
my gloating because there won't be any LNH stories that I'll be able to 
appear in -- so you'll just have to imagine it.

Waiting-For-the-LNH-To-Die Guy's phone start buzzing.  "Hmm.  Who could 
that be?  Oh, it's the Waiting-For-the-Superguy-Altiverse-To-Die Guy.  
Hey, WFtSAtD Guy!  Wuzz up?  Enjoying retirement?"

<<No!! That Eric Burns bastard wrote a bunch of Superguy stuff in 2018!  
I'm still waiting for it to die!!  God, it was so close!!  Damn him!!>>

"Well, that sucks.  Yeah, I'm still doing this too.  But eventually all 
this waiting will pay off.  They will end.  I mean the worst possible 
scenario would be having to wait for the Heat Death of Universe.  No way 
they can possibly survive that."

<<Yeah, whatever.>>

Arthur "Well. There's my LNH story for 2018.." Spitzer