LNH20: Writer's Block Person #33: "I mean, Limp-Asparagus Lad #100 or so"
pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Oct 16 17:00:51 PDT 2017
"That was a very eventful and exciting last fifteen years or so of continuity,"
said Limp-Asparagus Lad, being careful not to use exclamation points to
emphasize the commonality between his personality and the characteristics of
limp asparagus. "We've had many adventures, and they were cosmic and
metafictional and full of crunchy dissertations on how fictional universe work,
which is, by the way, the best thing."
"Correct!" said Senses Lass. "And the development of both my character and our
relationship after I joined the LNH were fascinating and emotionally rich!"
"Yes," said Seeker. "And it was *really* intense, the way I was rescued from
being a minion of Flipseid."
"I agree," said Fourth Wall Lass. "And my complex relationship to the Writers
and my own status as a fictional character is--"
"Guys," said Kid Review, leaning on the cardboard sign that said 'Definitely the
Looniverse-A LNHQ'. "What are you doing?"
"Um!" said Limp-Asparagus Lad, fiddling with their - I mean, his - domino mask.
"Just, y'know, net.heroing, exposition, metafiction, sort of thing. Classic
LNH." They nodded firmly.
"What my esteemed colleague and boyfriend means," said Senses Lass, adjusting
his - I mean, *her* - monocle, "is that we happen to be the loose association of
heroes that form the cast of Limp-Asparagus Lad's ongoing series, celebrating
being fully caught up to continuity in the year 2017."
"...noooo," said Kid Review, raising an eyebrow, "you're the loose association
of weirdos that form the cast of Writer's Block Person."
"We are definitely not and the proof is right over there." Fourth Wall Lass
pointed to the right, and when Kid Review looked, Distraction Damsel tossed off
her Fourth Wall Lass costume, leapt out the window and ran. "You'll never catch
me alive, coppeeeer..."
Seeker sighed and took off her cheap Halloween mask of Bruce Lee, revealing
herself as Whisperion. "For the record, it was Drew's idea."
"My idea?" blinked Kid Review.
"No, my idea!" Limp-Asparagus Lad took off their mask and, totally unexpectedly,
turned out to be Writer's Block Person. "I was re-re-re-re-rereading all of
Limp-Asparagus Lad, and I noticed that Saxon tends to have the same problem as
me, in terms of committing himself to plans, getting blocked on them, and
finding himself completely unable to continue. So I wanted to encourage him!"
"By..." Kid Review scratched their head. "Dressing up and pretending that the
series had caught up with continuity?"
"I mean..." Writer's Block Person looked around at the costumes and the props.
"Yeeees?" They rubbed the back of their neck. "I dunno, I just wanted to let him
know that, like... I don't know if his procrastination comes from the same place
mine does, where it feels like I have to pick the best possible idea for what
happens next before I can move on. But even a not-one-hundred-percent perfect
Saxon story is still gonna be fun, I think. And even more fun if he lets his
imagination loose and has fun with it without worrying about what it's supposed
to be." They shrugged. "I think that's true for all of the Writers, really."
Everyone went "Awwww." Kid Review added, "Well, this was certainly a silly and
metafictional way of saying so."
"Yeah, I thought that was thematic!" WBP gave them a thumbs-up.
Kid Review chuckled, looking off into the distance. "Mmm... hey, did Distraction
Damsel just take off all her clothes and run off down the street?"
"I should probably go take care of that." Kid Review tossed off a Vulcan salute
and flew away.
Redink took off his Senses Lass bustier. "Thusly! Will we still need the
Easily-Discovered Man costumes?"
Drew "the parts that were doctoral theses were really good, I think" Perron
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