LNH: System Corrupters 34: Rise of the East Coast Brotherhood, part 1

[Drew Perron]

On 5/16/2017 2:54 PM, Adrian McClure wrote:
> System Corruptors 34:
> "Rise of the East Coast Brotherhood, part 1"
> A Legion of Net.Heroes story by Adrian McClure
> 
> ****
> 
> Somewhere in West Virginia, there sits the Ozymandian remains of a
> shopping mall, abandoned by the fickle gods of business.

This is one of my favorite sentences in all of anything.

> the East Coast Brotherhood of
> Net.Villains, along with their signature pink tarantulas (which Mr.
> Homage, its leader, had won in the original custody dispute from
> Lagneto when the Brotherhood had originally split).

Tarantula! :D

> gathered with the rest of the team in their sinister meeting hall
> inside a former Hot Topic.

Heeheehee

> Unfortunately. Mr.
> Homage had been one of those people who wasn't really good at his job
> or liked by much of anyone, but wound up in charge through persistence
> and bullying, and who no one really knew how to get rid of.

Just a bit relevant, wot

> But then... something had changed about Mr. Homage. He was suddenly
> animated by a new fire and purpose. People liked him even less
> now--there was something distinctly creepy about him. But they didn't
> question it because it was nice being on the winning side for a
> change.

Also relevant.

> Marvel Zombie Lad was sitting silently at the conference table--he'd
> made some great dramatic speeches back when he'd been fighting his
> former teammates, but now he was suddenly unsure and confused.

That's a relatable feeling.

> Next to
> him was Marvin Mylar, the Polybag Person, an old school Brotherhooder
> who'd recently rejoined. His presence here was almost reassuring.

I like how MZL was almost this iconic figure in ALT?R? #7, distanced and aloof 
and powerful, and here we're deep in his head and using him as a viewpoint character

> "Yeah, that whole thing was kind of weird. One of the kids turned into
> Death, and there was this whole year long arc that was just a dream,
> and I'm not even sure how much of it is in continuity anymore...
> Still, it was nice being a hero for a while, y'know? But it just
> didn't work. It wasn't worth it." He sighed. "Back when I was a hero,
> I always wanted to team up with you. Funny how that works out, huh?"

awwwwwwh.

> How he'd once been a computing grad student,
> transformed by an experiment to contact a dead relative that sent him
> to the Fandom Zone, the afterlife of dead fandoms. Whenever someone
> leaves a fandom, the ghost image of their fandom persona appears in
> the Fandom Zone, making fanworks and getting into pointless arguments
> as they had in life. He had merged with the psychic essence of
> everyone who'd ever been obsessed with Marvel Comics and dropped out,
> transforming him into a revenant with the power to remember every
> Marvel plot, no matter how pointless, and powered by the fire of angst
> that burned in his veins--Marvel Zombie Lad!

A new origin! :D *puts it in the wiki*

> Marvel had been his life,
> his purpose, his reason for being--and then that had all been taken
> away from him by terrible plots and Nazi retcons. But now... Now he
> would have his revenge! He--
> 
> Polybag Person nudged him. "Psst, stop angstnarrating, the meeting's
> gonna start soon."

Heeheehee

> He watched the rest of the Brotherhood filter into the room. There was
> a man with impressive tattoos over his impressive body, based on on
> every story that was ever posted to RACC. He caught sight of Marvel
> Zombie Lad and wiggled is eyebrows at him. MZL was normally too dead
> for that sort of thing, but still found himself shivering. An old
> school Marvel fan like him couldn't help but respond to all the
> continuity.

:3 :3 :3 I love this

> "I heard he's a renegade Knight of Continuity," said a rasping, Peter
> Lorre-ish voice from by his shoulder.
> 
> "Gah!" said Polybag Person. "Oh, hi Rumor Monger." Eric Johnston, the
> Rumor Monger, was another veteran of the Brotherhood who Marvel Zombie
> Lad had fought more than a few times back in the day.

I love the voice. :3 And also that MZL is seeing this team through the eyes of 
people he's fought. I love characters with a ton of history.

> "That's Dr. Killfile, the new one," said Polybag Person.

You know, I can't believe it took this long to make a legacy Dr. Killfile.

> "I heard she was a version of Carolyn Forge from Teenfactor from one
> of those evil LNH universes," said Rumor Monger. That made sense.
> Polybag Person seemed to soften a bit when he looked at her, so maybe
> he really did think of her as his former student.

Awwwwww.

> Next was a VERY gorgeous woman, who winked at him--this was a heck of
> a day considering Marvel Zombie Lad didn't have a great record for
> dates. Being an undead revenant will do that. 

Heeheehee

> "That's Romantic
> Innuendo," said Polybag Person.
> 
> "Wait, I thought--" said Marvel Zombie Lad. "Wow. Estrogen is really
> something, huh."

The best response. XD

> "That's DNSDaemon," said Polybag Person. "Yknow, it's weird.
> Back in the day, he wouldn't listen to anyone. Now he does everything
> Mr. Homage says. Almost seems like he's scared of him. He even calls
> him 'my Lord.'"
> 
> "Wow, that's kinky," said Marvel Zombie Lad.

bwahahahaha

> First up, coming in from Parts Unknown, the
> one and only--DEATHSPORK: THE TERMINATOR!"

WOOOO DEATHSPORK

> A man in a jumpsuit with
> pouches full of sporks, a mask, and a Kevlar codpiece (to protect his
> Parts Unknown) walked in.

Heeheehee

> "I used to be a member of the League of Net.Assassins," said
> Deathspork. "But they kicked me out because my ideas were too radical.
> Now, here in the Brotherhood, I can finally show the world what I'm
> capable of!" The rest of the team pretended to clap.
> 
> "I heard he got kicked out for making 200 sock puppet accounts to
> tweet Swordmaster about how much better at weapons he was," whispered
> Rumor Monger.

heeheehee

> "And now," said Mr. Homage, "it's time to introduce our next member.
> It's someone you probably never expected to see again..."
> In walked... Rebel Yell! The original leader of the LNH!

This is a great bait-and-switch.

> "This is Mistake," said Mr. Homage. "Formerly of the Netter
> Liberation Front. [Last seen way, way, WAAAAAY back in
> Electrocutioner's Song--Footnote Girl.] She has the power to ALMOST
> perfectly impersonate anyone."

I love that you brought back yet another Super Obscure Character With Potential

> "I heard--" said Rumor Monger.
> 
> Suddenly Rumor Monger heard his own voice whispering in his ear: "I
> heard that Rumor Monger only takes a shower once every three months!"

Heeheehee

> "Next
> up is..." He pointed at a picture of Dr Refuse2Amuse. Someone had
> written "NO" all over it.

:D

> "Okay, maybe not him. Next up is someone
> with the potential to take our little team to the next level...
> LAGNETO!" >
> "What the hell?" said Marvel Zombie Lad. Everyone knew Mr. Homage and
> Lagneto had hated each other's guts for years and years, even before
> the Brotherhoods had split.

Yeah, this is an Intriguing Choice.

Drew "to the future!" Perron