LNH: FLASH! LNH Comics Presents Monthly Free Comic Book Day Special: Philosopher Lass Adventures! #3

[Drew Perron]

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    Since the dawn of the Internet, they have been its defenders! Today, the
  strangest heroes of all protect the world against hate, fear, and apathy! Our
  knights in shining spandex...
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|           *       THE    LEGION    OF    NET  .  HEROES                    |
|       * * F * *                                                            |
|       *   L   *    Legion of Net.Heroes Presents Monthly                   |
| In: *   ! A !   *  Free Comic Book Day Special                             |
|       *   S   *    Philosopher Lass Adventures! #3                         |
|       * * H * *    By Subnet Mask                                          |
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MIDNIGHT

PHILOSOPHER LASS is staring at an email on her cellphone with FURROWED EYEBROWS.

"According to Exposition Lass, Timey Tim has a plan to steal all the comics that 
were, are, and ever will be made for Free Comic Book Day!"

Sounds like MY COUSIN has cut to the heart of the matter again! IT’S TIME TO 
TEACH TIMEY TIM A LESSON!!!

"Yes, but a lesson about what exactly? Should I tell him about the origins of 
Free Comic Book Day and why it’s important to growing the community? Perhaps 
about the Kantian Imperative?"

...NARRATOR LASS more meant BEATING TIMEY TIM UP, but if we’re going to actually 
teach him something, shouldn’t we get his perspective first?

"Hmm. Well, we should be able to figure out what his perspective is using logic."

The only reason NARRATOR LASS can think up is that he thinks that by releasing a 
single comic in a series devoid of its larger context that FREE COMIC BOOK DAY 
is betraying the core values of a long-running serial medium?

"An interesting point. If so, however, shouldn’t he be destroying the Legion of 
Net.Heroes first?"

DESTROY THE LNH!?!?

Why would ANYONE want to do that?

"Because, while it retains the serial qualities of comics, it’s decided to use 
the color and assumptions of comics as background, and rely on the reader to 
fill in the details while focusing mainly on plot and dialogue. I mean, do we 
have a single piece of concrete detail in this issue?"

...Maybe the CELL PHONE? Should I be DOING MORE?

"Please! If we’re going to talk to Timey Tim, we should at least have a little 
ground to stand on."

PHILOSOPHER LASS shoots NARRATOR LASS a SOUL-SEARING SMILE with those bright 
eyes and delicate lips of hers. NARRATOR LASS stumbles BACK, her hand reaching 
out to snag on the armrest of the large dinosaur-leather couch, which she sits 
down in heavily, her breath unsteady---from NARRATING SO MUCH DETAIL? She is 
DEFINITELY NOT BLUSHING.

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