LNH20: Writer's Block Person #25

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Apr 19 02:06:29 PDT 2017

"Nyarharharhar!" said the anthropomorphic foam-rubber squid wearing a 
laurel wreath, waving its tentacles about. "I am Cephalopod Caligula, 
strongest general of the Beige Emirate! I'm here to drain the energy of 
college students for my mistress, Vice President Negative Clownfish!"

"Oh, crap!" said Writer's Block Person, pulling out their transformation 
pen. "HENSHINSPIRATION!" In a cool swirl of transformative art that was 
already described in a previous issue, they changed into their 
superpowered armored form and ran into battle.

Kid Review, who had been sitting with WBP on a picnic blanket on the big 
lawn in front of the main library and eating lunch, dropped their 
container of chicken teriyaki in surprise. "Wait a second, an actual 
*battle* is happening in this series? Like, onscreen?"

"Sure!" Writer's Block Person rolled to the side, their martial arts 
heavily stylized as if to communicate the gestures to a television 
audience. They punched Cephalopod Caligula across the chest and sparks 
burst out. "I definitely do this sort of thing all the time, between 
issues or whatever."

"Oh, come now," said Kid Review, picking their lunch back up and 
nomming. "You're really trying to retcon in an action-adventure plot, in 
issue *twenty-five*?"

"They're not buying it," whispered Cephalopod Caligula, picking up 
Writer's Block Person and tossing them acrobatically across the field.

WBP pirouetted back, pulling out a bejeweled plastic sword and slashing 
at the tentacles. "Then let's sell it harder!" they whispered. "Oh no!" 
they shouted, dropping their sword, spinning around, and falling into 
the squid's arms, splayed out and seemingly unconscious.

"Nyarharhar!" shouted Cephalopod Caligula at Kid Review. "Now I'll take 
them back to my lair, conveniently located in the abandoned building 
across the street from the co-op!" They pushed their belt buckle and 
teleported away.

Kid Review looked around, and sighed. They pulled out their phone. 
"Okay, when's the next 71C coming..."


Drew "what even" Perron

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