LNH: Another LNH Title? Really? #7: Marvel Zombie Lad Lives Again!

[Drew Perron]

On 4/14/2017 1:11 AM, Adrian McClure wrote:
> ANOTHER LNH TITLE? REALLY? #7
> "Marvel Zombie Lad Lives Again!"

Oooooh! An intriguing title!

> "Hey," said Halls Jordan, the Cosmic Custodian, "I haven't read any
> comics since I went off on that mission to outer space in like 1993.
> What's the best comic Marvel's publishing right now?"
>
> "The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl," said Token Girl.
>
> "No seriously, what is it?"

oh my god XD <3

> "Huh." He held it close to his face and hesitantly turned the pages as
> if it might explode. "Are you sure this is the real world we're in and
> not some weird alternate future?"

I know, right? :3 I mean there's a lot of it that's a dark future, but 
this part I like

> "Wait! Who's that guy?" said Cliche Dude. He pointed to a man in ratty
> clothes staring off blankly into the distance. There was a cloud of
> literal flies buzzing around his head and the LNHers were pretty sure
> they could see the stink lines wafting off of him.
>
> "Ah yeah," said the man behind the desk. "That one customer. He goes
> in every Wednesday, he stares at the new comic rack for like thirty
> minutes, and then he leaves. I wanna get help for him but I don't know
> where to start. I'm not gonna call the cops on him..."

Aaaaaa :D I know what you're homaging!

> "You could always call the Legion," said Token Girl. "We get involved
> in fixing random people's problems all the time."

Pffff

> She was proud of her
> dedication to maintaining the team's social conscience even when a lot
> of the time she hated actually dealing with people.

Awwww! <3 Humor *and* characterization! Lovely!

> "And 90% of the time the problem's going to be supervillains anyway,"
> said Halls Jordan. "That's how things work here.

Also true. X3

> "Wait, hold on." Halls Jorden looked at him more closely. "He's--"
>
> "Gasp!" said Cliche Man. "It can't be! Not--not him!"

I love having Cliche Dude around again. ...but Cliche Man's a good 
backup when he's away `-`

> "It's Marvel Zombie Lad," whispered Token Girl. She'd joined the LNH
> about the time he'd stopped being a regular member, but she'd
> certainly heard of him. He'd been one of the founders, one of the
> coolest and most popular ones, the ones kids argued over who would get
> to play on the playground. And then at some point he just dropped out.
> She couldn't help but feel a bit of awe in the presence of this
> creepy, drooling corpse-guy.

Ohhhhhh. :3 Yes good. I love these invocations of older members as 
amazing legends that even the cool heroes whisper about and semi-idolize.

> "I don't know," said Token Girl. "Maybe he stopped reading Marvel
> comics. Caring about Marvel Comics was his entire thing. Maybe he
> stopped doing that and he..."
>
> "Stopped living and became a mixed up zombie?"

Heeheehee

> He
> pulled an issue of Captain America: Steve Rogers off the shelf. "Ah
> yeah, Captain America. That used to be my favorite book back in the
> day. No idea what's going on there now. Last issue I read was the one
> where he was a werewolf. But you can't go too wrong..."

Oh shit. XD THE WORST POSSIBLE COMIC TO GIVE HIM.

> "Bah! This comic is an abomination in the face of Kirby! For too long
> have I watched the usurpers who reign over Marvel desecrate the
> hallowed halls of the House of Ideas! But no more! Face front,
> unbelievers! For on this day... Marvel Zombie Lad declares war on all
> mankind!!!"

Yessssssss :3 :3 :3 THE FULL NAMOR

> The Flames of Fanboyism flared up and engulfed his body, burning away
> the clothes he wore and revealing a spiffy red palette-swap of his old
> costume.

The Dark Marvel Zombie Lad Saga!

> "He's turned into a net.villain! That comic was so bad it inverted his
> moral axis!" said Halls Jordan.
> "I thought that was like three terrible crossovers ago," said Token Girl.

*snerk*

> A
> few bystanders stopped to gawk at the spiffy George Perez-esque
> patterns made by the broken glass before running away.

X3

> "I lose more posters that way," said the comic shop guy.

XD

> With the cosmic powers entrusted in him by the Custodians of the
> Universe, Halls Jordan created a bubble around Marvel Zombie Lad. But
> Halls Jordan's constructs were always a bit weak against magic, and
> Marvel Zombie Lad was in the full flame of his fannish fury.

Yep, yep, good ol' science-vs-magic.

> "I know the real you is still there
> somewhere! You have to fight it--" said Cliche Dude.
>
> "Fool! You know nothing of the real me! This IS the real me--wrath and
> fire and rage undying!"

That's a great response. :D

> "Wait, what are we doing?" said Token Girl.
>
> "Beats me," said Cliche Dude.
>
> Marvel Zombie Lad stared at them. He didn't understand how they could
> just turn back and leave. Then he looked behind him and saw the axe of
> Plotchopper glinting in the sunlight.
>
> "Hello," said the armored man beside him. "I think we can help each
> other. My name is Mr. Homage. Welcome to the Brotherhood..."

!!! Oh shit the East Coast Brotherhood! :D ...wait, but Plotchopper is 
on the West Coast Brotherhood... oh, maybe this is his twin brother or a 
legacy character or something :o

> Note: I came up with this idea a while back, when Axis and the
> inversion stuff was a thing. (Remember Superior Iron Man? Sorry.) I
> never got around to that and let that idea drop. And then the whole
> Hydra-Cap thing happened. It's always something with Marvel, isn't it.

It really is. @-@

Drew "rassum frassum" Perron