LNH/LNH20/LUNA: FLASH! LNH Comics Presents Monthly #1

[Drew Perron]

*============================================================================*
    Since the dawn of the Internet, they have been its defenders! Today, the
  strangest heroes of all protect the world against hate, fear, and apathy! Our
  knights in shining spandex...
*============================================================================*
|          *       THE    LEGION    OF    NET  .  HEROES                     |
| In:  * * F * *                                                             |
|      *   L   *    Legion of     Issue #1, featuring the talents of:        |
|    *   ! A !   *  Net.          Drew Perron        Ben Rawluk              |
|      *   S   *    Heroes        Adrian McClure     Mike Friedman           |
|      * * H * *    Presents      Dave Van Domelen                           |
|          *        Monthly       And introducing: Subnet Mask               |
*============================================================================*

Message From the Editor
by Drew Perron

[LNH/LUNA] "Speaker For the Thread" Part 1
by Dave Van Domelen

    Another day watching old threads rise anew...

[LNH] The Core LNH #1.0: "Hope You Survive Et Cetera" Part 1
by Drew Perron

    The birth of a new subgroup! Absolutely the most important story in the
entire Looniverse, tied with all the others!!!

[LNH20] "Trick or Trial of Earth!"
by Adrian McClure

    A spooky treat for all of you ghouls out there, because the spirit of
Halloween is eternal! (And also because there wasn't an issue in October, so)

[LNH] Philosopher Lass Adventures! #1
by Subnet Mask

    The fabulous premiere of PHILOSOPHER LASS! But will our erstwhile heroine's
ever-spinning web of thoughts suddenly turn... *Acraphobic*?

[LNH] Just Imagine Saxon Brenton and the Writers of RACC in: RACCies the
       Final! Symphony of Genesis #0: "Absolutely the Last One, We Swear"
by Adrian McClure and, yep, Drew Perron

    That's right, we're putting the final chapter of a long-running series-of-
series within the new-reader-friendly jumping-on point! Are we fools, or just
mad? Well, we *are* neuroatypical...

[LNH/LUNA] "The Chainsaw Effect"
by Ben Rawluk

    The present tense. The future tension. Meeting. Confronting. Surviving.

[LNH] The Core LNH #1.5: "Hope You Survive Et Cetera" Part 2
also by Drew Perron!!

    Twice the core action! Twice the core thrills! Basically a way to do Batman
'66-esque cliffhangers in a text medium!!!

*============================================================================*
*--------------------------Message From the Editor---------------------------*
*============================================================================*

    Greetings! Welcome! Have fun! Let us know what you liked! Let us know what
you didn't! And if you want to try it, climb aboard!

*============================================================================*
*[CLASSIC LNH/LUNA]-------------------------------------------------[DIAMOND]*
*---------------------------SPEAKER FOR THE THREAD---------------------------*
*-----------------------------------Part 1-----------------------------------*
*-----------------------------by Dave Van Domelen----------------------------*
*============================================================================*

     Up in the frozen north of Alt.laska lie vast underground reserves of
Thread.  It's a resource you can't put on a truck, it's shipped south to
content-hungry net.izens via a series of tubes.
     Wherever ancient Thread is dragged screaming from the ground, two kinds of
people show up in addition to the riggers, not all respectable.
     The less respectable are practitioners of Thread Necromancy, reopening old
arguments and uncovering secrets best left unsaid.
     More wholesome are the Archivologists, who study the past for (mostly)
selfless reasons.
     I fall in both groups.  I am a Speaker for the Thread.

*============================================================================*
*[CLASSIC LNH]---------------------------------------------------------[GOLD]*
*--------------------------------THE CORE LNH--------------------------------*
*--------------Issue #1.0: "Hope You Survive Et Cetera" Part 1---------------*
*-------------------------------by Drew Perron-------------------------------*
*============================================================================*

    Under six doors, which lead to six rooms, which housed six members of the
Legion of Net.Heroes, six slips of paper were slipped. Six hours later, all
six were gathered, sitting in six chairs around a table in LNHQ Conference
Room Number Six. They looked toward a seventh chair, turned away from them.
    "Greetings," said a Serious, Deep Voice, sounding surprisingly similar to
James Earl Jones. "Each of you has been chosen out of the Legion's
flabbergastingly enormous membership for an important purpose! Due to the
aforementioned enormosity, you may not know each other - and, worse, the
readers may not! Therefore, roll call!"
    "Hell Catalyst! The Blazing Friend! With the ability to tele-empathically
share her interests, and also might be a vampire!"
    "I do my best!" HC was dressed in a shimmery red-and-gold outfit with a
high collar and tights. There was a stylized symbol of a puzzle piece on fire
on her chest. Her hair was curly and deep red, and she wore fiery red lipstick
and blush on her pale cheeks.
    "WikiBoy! The User-Defined Man! With the ability to be edited by any LNH
member into the perfect partner for each situation!"
    "Hey, guys." WikiBoy leaned on his elbow, mildly amused, mostly resigned to
weirdness. Currently, he looked remarkably like Tobey Maguire, but shorter,
schlubbier, and with a beaver's tail.
    "Painful Pun Person! The Punctilious Punisher of Punchinellos! With the
ability to project physical force via puns!"
    "Oh, punchinellos, that's good..." PPP nibbled on the end of a pen, writing
the word down in a little lined-paper notebook. She had short dark hair and
Middle Eastern features, and wore a rainbow hijab and a black bodysuit with a
stylized skull on the chest winking at the viewer.
    "Skunk Girl! The Striped Operative! With the abilities (proportional) of a
skunk!"
    "Can we hurry this up? It's almost lunchtime." SG leaned back in her chair,
putting her boots up on the table. She was an anthropomorphic skunk with
white-striped black fur and a bushy tail, wearing specially-designed body
armor in gunmetal gray.
    "Golden Man! The Aureate Avenger! With the ability to be a pretty standard
flying brick!"
    "Not the most august collective I've ever been part of, but that's the
charm of the Legion," remarked GM, arms crossed, spine straight. He was
dressed in sparkling golden tights, with wavy black hair highlighted in blue
and a square jaw. The current artist, having come into the industry doing
LNH20 work, had drawn him exactly the same as Doc Nostalgia.
    "Miss Social-Cues! A recent recruit to the Legion, so she doesn't have a
cool moniker yet! With the ability to completely ignore social cues!"
    "Thanks!" MSC got an especially detailed description. She was black and
short, with a kinky, flowy natural mohawk, and a blue sundress with lacy edges
and a green arrow embroidered on the chest shooting past a red target.
    "Together, you shall form a new group, to face the challenges that no one
Legionnaire ever could alone!" The chair started spinning around, a bit at a
time, as if it was being scooted around by feet that could barely touch the
floor. "And we will become..." A Darth Vader voice-changing helmet was removed
dramatically, and Kid Enthusiastic stood up on the chair! "The Core LNH!"

<Continued at end of issue, true believers!>

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*[LNH20]---------------------------------------------------------------[GOLD]*
*--------------------------TRICK OR TRIAL OF EARTH!--------------------------*
*-----------------------------by Adrian McClure------------------------------*
*============================================================================*

[Continuity note: This story takes place before LNH20 Comics Presents #21. --
Ed.]

    It was All Hallow's Eve at the LNHQ and a tidal wave of children crowded at
the door as members the LNH handed out candy. Fearless Leader was dressed as
Frankenstein, bolts sticking out of his neck. Doc Nostalgia was dressed as a
Homestuck troll, which surprised everyone, but the Homestuck had just come
back and there was a lot of nostalgia going around, so he'd just gotten into
it. He'd complained when everyone had dressed up as trolls, but now he
complained about how the new updates weren't as good.
    Among the children, there were the usual Golden Age Very-Disturbed-Scary-
Creature Men, but also some of the newer LNHers--Pantra was surprisingly
popular. Nerf Girl would have been happy to see several of herself if she
hadn't been off on a mission. There was even one kid dressed as Doc Nostalgia
dressed as a troll.
    "Wonder what it's going to be this year," said Fearless Leader. "It's
always something on Halloween. Zombies? Ghosts? Ghost zombies?"
    The answer came rumbling from the sky in the form of a great purple
starship in the shape of a pumpkin, its jagged mouth glowing green. "OK,
aliens," said Fearless Leader.
    The doors of its mouth whirred open and out stepped a small figure in the
shape of a child wearing a pumpkin mask in the image of his ship. "I am... The
Trick-or-Treater!" said the being in a rumbling but high-pitched voice. "I
have come from across the stars to obtain the greatest delight of your
world... Candy!" He held out a tiny pumpkin in the image of his spaceship.
"But if your candy be unworthy, your world shall be destroyed!"
    "Well, here you go, then!" said Doc Nostalgia, smiling indulgently. He
handed him some candy corn.
    The Trick-or-Treater threw up its hands, which burst with energy like angry
fireworks. "Candy corn! I did not cross the endless stars for candy corn!" Its
eyes crackled with flame, and Fearless Leader found himself thinking of men
burned alive in wicker cages in long-ago harvest time.
    "What's wrong with candy corn?" said Doc Nostalgia.
    Professor Penumbra stepped out of the HQ, without anyone having seen him--
he had a knack for that--and pulled a little red can out of his capacious
pockets. "Here." He offered it to the Trick-or-Treater, who turned the can
over distrustfully in his hands, then opened it. A serpent made of of purple
light burst out of the can, whirled around in the air, then devoured its own
tail and vanished.
    The Trick-or-Treater laughed and clapped its hands. "Excellent! Excellent!
Your world has been judged worthy... for now." He stepped back into his
starship, which roared up back into the sky.
    "What was that?" said Doc Nostalgia.
    Professor Penumbra smiled. "A trick."
    "Good job," said Fearless Leader. "But no candy corn next year."
    "What's wrong with--"

*============================================================================*
*[LNH]-----------------------------------------------------------------[GOLD]*
*------------------------PHILOSOPHER LASS ADVENTURES!------------------------*
*----------------------------------Issue #1----------------------------------*
*-------------------------------by Subnet Mask-------------------------------*
*============================================================================*

MIDNIGHT

PHILOSOPHER LASS stands in her room, of which every wall is filled with books.
Most of them are not even picture books. She stands ready for ACTION, for
tonight, the dastardly--

    "Actually, Narrator Lass, I'm not sure about that. I don't know that I
agree with the core concept of FLASH."

--the dastardly EQUIVOCATOR stands ready to reveal--

    "See, that's the issue. I think it's going to be too revealing."

...this is the issue, yes. Or it will be if we can finally get to-- ...fine,
I'll BITE. How can something be revealing if it's SO SHORT?

    "So short? What exactly were you expecting me to wear?"

I'm PRETTY SURE I wasn't expecting you to wear anything?

Why is PHILOSOPHER LASS... BLUSHING?

NARRATOR LASS is getting CONFUSED!

    "Aaagh, see that's the thing. There's nothing wrong with the human body,
but there's already an inherent sexualization and genderization of the medium.
It makes me wonder if I should even be called... PHILOSOPHER LASS?"

What's wrong with... PHILOSOPHER LASS? Is the TITULAR HEROINE'S name going to
CHANGE!?!?

    "It means gender is a core part of my identity, and while there's no issue
with that in itself, it does raise questions of having two girls in a light
erotica magazine. I wonder about gender balance otherwise. I don't think
titillation is inherently wrong, and girl-girl relationships are cool, but if
it's going to be all about girls then I have concerns. What's the overall
scope of the magazine?"

    ...FLASH is a short fiction magazine, not a LIGHT EROTICA magazine. It
seems that this MISUNDERSTANDING has taken up this ENTIRE ISSUE of PHILOSOPHER
LASS ADVENTURES!?

    "Oh! That would make more sense. Do we still have time to fight THE
EQUIVOCATOR?"

*============================================================================*
*[CLASSIC LNH/LUNA]----------------------------------------------------[GOLD]*
*----------------------------THE CHAINSAW EFFECT-----------------------------*
*-------------------------------by Ben Rawluk--------------------------------*
*============================================================================*

    It has been days. Maybe weeks. Time is different within the House. Within
the house, you are always thinking about the future. She moves through the
house slowly, methodically; endless turns and doors. Locked or open a crack.
She knows how this works, she's seen all the horror movies. The stupid girl
stumbling through the house, trying to escape the killer.
    (But which House is it, anyway?)
    It says ING in bright white lettering across the back of her black jacket.
Gerund Girl blows a pink gum bubble until it bursts, pulls it back into her
mouth with her tongue, chews. Repeat. Repeat. Honestly, she's been chewing the
same piece of gum for days, weeks, whatever. There's still flavour. Whenever
she gets out of here, whenever she escapes the House, she's never going to
chew gum again. She's over the taste. Maybe she can trap herself in here the
next time she wants rid of herself of some tiresome habit.
    She picks at the corners of her black domino mask. The heating is a couple
degrees too many.
    A whiff of sulphur. Something in the distance like theme music. Every young
net.hero wonders what the opening credits of their cartoon show will look like
when they grow up, right?
    "I've been looking for you everywhere," says a voice from behind her.
Something about the word 'looking' vibrates strangely, and Gerund Girl wonders
if that's how she sounds to other people. Gerund Girl turns; there is an open
door, a bathroom with a mirror just inside. In the doorway stands Gerund Girl.
In the doorway stands the Gerund Girl of Tomorrow: red-skinned, scaly, a
forked tongue darting from between her lips when she speaks. The future. The
Gerund Girl of Tomorrow smiles much wider than Gerund Girl has ever smiled.
"I'm feeling hungry." The word 'feeling' hums.
    "Let me guess," says Gerund Girl. "The logodemon living inside your heart
hollowed you out, right? Let it out of its box too many times?" She is aware
that she has said 'living' and it has buzzed against her lips like blowing on
a kazoo. She would giggle at the thought, but she's one of the Tough Ones.
    "That's what I'm saying," says the Gerund Girl of Tomorrow. "I know what
you're thinking." Ping. "Is this the House of Spoilers, or the House of
Speculation?" Certainty or idle gossip?
    Gerund Girl looks up towards the stucco ceiling. She sucks at her teeth.
"Saying," she says. "Living, breathing, dying." With each word, the hum grows,
and then it sounds like a motor, and then the motor bursts into flames. ING-
ING-ING screams the chainsaw made of living flame sputters and seethes in her
hands.
    "Am I really the future?"
    Gerund Girl exhales. She raises the chainsaw overheads and darts forward.
ING-ING-ING.

*============================================================================*
*[CLASSIC LNH]---------------------------------------------------[MOLYBDENUM]*
*-----------JUST IMAGINE SAXON BRENTON AND THE WRITERS OF RACC IN:-----------*
*-------------------RACCIES THE FINAL! SYMPHONY OF GENESIS-------------------*
*---------------Issue #0: "Absolutely the Last One, We Swear"----------------*
*---------------------by Adrian McClure and Drew Perron----------------------*
*============================================================================*

    Somewhere in the Infinite Library, right between the 17th century Mughal
court documents and the Doctor Who novels, there is the Infinite Cafe, where
you can sit down and have a coffee in the middle of researching things that
mortals were not meant to know. Somewhere in the large crowd of sorcerers,
interdimensional travelers and overworked grad students, if you look closely,
you can pick out two people sitting together alone. One is telling a story.
The other is wondering when exactly it's going to end.
    "Okay," said the tall, lanky beige-skinned man, "I gotta say I've kind of
lost track of the whole thing at this point." He was wearing a dust-spattered
black trenchcoat that looked like it had seen a lot of history.
    "I warned you it was complicated," said the other. "You wanted to hear
this. Remember, I was the only one who was there. Well, the only one who was
there and who's linked to your world *and* who remembers."
    Professor Penumbra looked regretfully over to the next table. It was
occupied by an infinite number of monkeys who were banging away on their
tablets trying to write the complete works of Shakespeare (they'd evolved
beyond typewriters some time ago). He wondered which of them would get done
first.
    "Okay," said Professor Penumbra, "could you at least give me some kind of
recap? Like, who's involved at this point, what they're doing, how many
universes there are."
    "I..." The other frowned. "Well, now that you've interrupted me, even I'm
not sure I remember anymore. I've lost the thread."
    "Hey, maybe I can help!" said a voice from nowhere.
    "Gah! A ghost!" said Professor Penumbra, and immediately regretted it.
He'd dealt with his fair share of ghosts, and while dealing with people on the
other side of mortality was never easy, they were generally no better or worse
than living people. "I mean, uh, how so?"
    "I am the Ghost of the Kid Recap of the Unknown Looniverse," he said. "Our
universe was about to be erased, so I sacrificed myself to write all of
history into a book. Now that book's here in the Library, and I'm guarding it
until the right person comes to check it out and restore our continuity. But
there's not much I can do in the meantime except float around and explain
things."
    "Sure," said Professor Penumbra, "it's not like you can make things more
confusing. Pull up a chair."
    "Hmmm," said the other, "no, I don't think I need a recap. Maybe I'll need
your help to catch things up. But I think I'm going to start in the middle of
things. That's how it all began, after all..." He sipped on his recappuccino.
"Now where were we last?"

****

    Lightning crackled through space and time. Red, orange, yellow, green,
blue, violet. Silver, gold, bronze. Cyan, mangenta, yellow, Key.
    A howling wind screamed through the night, screamed that it was pointless,
too complicated, they'd never find an audience and it didn't matter anyway.
    "Don't listen!" shouted the first villain. "Paint it all the colors of the
rainbow-- or the universe will never be born!"

****

    "Wait, what?" said Professor Penumbra. "I thought we were talking about
continuity zombies and melodramatic origin stories."
    The other sighed. "All right, maybe I *do* need a recap."
    Kid Recap-[SotN] cleared his throat. "A Short History of the Just Imagine
Saxon Brenton's RACCies cascades."
    "In the first one, Manga Man, one of the LNH's earliest enemies now gone
straight, discovered that something was attacking the RACCies with a computer
virus. It turned out to be the Hungry Past, the void that existed before the
Writers created the Looniverses, and which wanted to destroy the stories so
that everything would return to void. In the process, several more Manga Men
appeared, including Manga Man Gold, a mysterious manipulator."
    "The second one, Just Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again,
involved Pointless Awards Man IV trying to create a new RACCies cascade. He
shanghaied obscure ex-net.villain Plot-Error Man into it, but P-EM
accidentally broke the timestream. The third one,  Just Imagine Saxon
Brenton's RACCies on a Plane Filled with Killer Ninja Gorillas!, had
Bluetooth, a character from the first cascade, and the Gorilla Conspiracy
attacking a plane looking for a plot device. Bluetooth found the piece of the
timestream Plot-Error Man had broken off, a crystal containing the title 'Just
Imagine Saxon Brenton Presents the RACCies... Again #6'."
    "The fourth one..." Kid Recap-UL took a deep breath. "The fourth one,
Just Imagine Saxon Brenton vs. Andrew Perron in the Return of the RACCies!,
had Bluetooth and Pointless Awards Man IV bump into each other. The Hungry
Past had not truly been stopped, and PAM IV was looking for the Issue Six
Crystal in order to use the power of a RACCies cascade against it. Bluetooth
was turning into a grim'n'gritty Dark Age character, and was trying to find
the Legacy Beam to cure himself. When the two plot devices interacted, the
Interim Iconoclasts, who harvested drama from unfinished storylines,
appeared."
    "PAM IV revealed he was Manga Man Violet, one of the Power Manga, a sentai
team who'd gotten powers from Manga Man to protect manga and anime. He also
revealed that the Hungry Past had a new attack - turning characters into
Continuity Zombies by eating their pasts. He brought the Crystal and Bluetooth
to the Power Manga base, along with the Red Herring, an oldschool LNH
character who showed them that they could fight the Zombies by using the
colors they embodied as an attack on the emptiness the Hungry Past
represented."
    "At the base were Manga Man Pink, another member of the Power Manga, along
with Hi-Fi Lorelai and Blasferatu, two net.heroes who'd been transformed by
the Legacy Beam. But also there was Convoluted Origin Man, a hero who'd been
transformed - into a Continuity Zombie!"
    "As they fought the zombie COM, they were transported into another universe
inside the Issue Six Crystal. This world, the Sixniverse, had been
accidentally created by Plot-Error Man, who they met inside. It was a near-
utopia, with versions of the LNH writers living amazing lives, and P-EM among
them. But the fly in the ointment was a mysterious figure, claiming to be
Pointless Awards Man IV, hosting the worldwide RACCies ceremony!"
    Panting, Kid Recap took a moment to pause and take a drink of water. Waving
off Professor Penumbra's offer of a throat-soothing spell, he continued.
    "Investigating, they discovered that Plot-Error Man's son, Thomas Ploteau,
was the reincarnation of the original Manga Man, who had died at the end of
the first cascade. Based on his memories, they formulated a three-pronged
plan."
    "Manga Man Violet, Blasferatu, and Tom Ploteau went to confront the fake
Pointless Awards Man IV. He turned out to be Manga Man Gold - actually the
Golden Age Manga Man, who had accidentally awoken the Hungry Past in the first
place. Aware of his status as fiction, he was determined to bring a villain to
the artificially perfect Sixniverse, and had been using the RACCies to
brainwash the people of that world - including Tom!"
    "Bluetooth and Hi-Fi Lorelai took Plot-Error Man down into the depths of
the earth, so he could use the crystal wall at the center of the planet to
affect the Hungry Past directly. The Interim Iconoclasts were waiting for
them, and explained that they were characters who had been in limbo, sucked
into the Sixniverse as it formed, and they had been harvesting Drama to keep
the Sixniverse running. They were here to support our heroes, as their battle
was creating its own Drama - but they brought a warning. The crystal wall was
defended - by the cybernetic disembodied head of Ernest Hemingway attached to
the body of a gorilla!"
    "The Red Herring, Convoluted Origin Man and Manga Man Pink went back to the
Looniverse to recruit a spectrum of color-based heroes. Chased by Continuity
Zombies, they found a squad of newbie LNHers - Orange Zest, Magentrix, and the
Green Knight, lead by Dualist Lad. But all of a sudden, Convoluted Origin Man
was transformed back into a Zombie!"
    "Well that makes sense," said Professor Penumbra. He turned back to the
other one. "So what happens next?"
    "Well." The other man tapped his fingers. "It turns out I skipped some
important parts. I'll have to go back a bit..."

*============================================================================*
*[CLASSIC LNH]---------------------------------------------------------[GOLD]*
*--------------------------------THE CORE LNH--------------------------------*
*--------------Issue #1.5: "Hope You Survive Et Cetera" Part 2---------------*
*-------------------------------by Drew Perron-------------------------------*
*============================================================================*

    "And we will become..." A Darth Vader voice-changing helmet was removed
dramatically, and Kid Enthusiastic stood up on the chair! "The Core LNH!"
    "Wait, what?" Skunk Girl attempted to jump to her feet, spun in the wheely
chair, fell on the floor, and jumped to her feet. "How is *this* The Core LNH?
We're just a bunch of random characters! Well, except for Kid Enthusiastic,
he's kind of core."
    "Really?" said Golden Man, raising one perfect eyebrow. "I'd say he's more
core-adjacent."
    "I mean, he hasn't been around since the Cosmic Plot Device Caper or
anything, but defined in terms of influence and-- look, that's not the
*point*, okay!?"
    "She's not wrong," said Painful Pun Person, hands under the desk, trying
not to look like she was using her phone to look up her compatriots on the
wiki. "If this is the core, it's the pits."
    Kid Enthusiastic kicked off his shoes, stepped onto the table, held up his
finger, and took a deep breath-- but Miss Social-Cues jumped up on the table
in front of him. "Exactly!" she said. "The message is that the LNH isn't
dependent on any one character, or even any one group of characters! It's the
spirit of chaos and heroism, the idea that even your most gratuitous
personality flaws are actually superpowers! We're *all* the core LNH!"
    Kid E's finger drooped. "...I mean, y-yeah, that's... that's what I was
gonna say..." He coughed.
    "...oh, did I step on your..."
    "No, no, it's okay, I just..."
    "Ahhhhh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean--"
    "It's okay, really, you don't have to--"
    "OH MY GOD SHUT UP NERDS." Skunk Girl pulled at her ears.
    "Ahem!" All heads snapped around to focus on Hell Catalyst, standing next
to her seat. Her arms were akimbo, and her expression held fast to
reasonableness. "Whether we're the Core LNH or not, that's fine. I look
forward to working with you all. But shouldn't we introduce some kind of plot
hook? If we haven't gotten past the setup by the end of our second chapter,
the readers will think we've gone back to the days of decompression."
    "Excellent point!" Kid Enthusiastic leapt out of his chair and pointed out
the door. "This way!" He scrambled out into the hall.
    The others looked at each other, shrugged, and casually jogged after.
                           AND THE CORE LNH WAS BORN!
    Kid E ran down the hall. He leapt in the air and slid gleefully along the
waxed linoleum in his be-socked feet. He skidded to a stop in front of a door,
and pointed at it dramatically! "Beyond this portal lies the most baffling
enemy the Legion has ever faced!"
    "What, in the bathroom?" Wikiboy scratched his head.
    Golden Man sighed. "I'll get Halls Jordan to clean it up..."
    Somewhere, a toilet flushed; from somewhere came the sound of hands being
washed. The bathroom door opened, and out stepped a man who looked remarkably
like a fortysomething Ricardo Montalban. He wore an expertly-tailored black
suit with red trim, and regarded the assemblage with cool amusement.
    "Not poo..." said Kid E, pointing even harder. "TYRANNUS AURON!"

*============================================================================*
Authors' Notes and Administrivia:

DREW: So there you go. Let us know what you think! <3

Miss Social-Cues is Free For Use. I'm not sure about any of the other new
characters introduced here.

Format inspired by Tom Russell. Opening caption-box thingy based on the works
of Rob Rogers. Keep circulating the tapes.

Drew "finally! IT LIVES!" Perron