LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #17: The Omaha Project Part Four

Drew Perron pwerdna at gmail.com
Sun May 15 17:55:33 PDT 2016

On 5/11/2016 11:17 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> Chapter Eleven is by Steinar Bergstol who wrote the series
> Reaper.  One of those rare LNH writers from a non English
> speaking country (I believe from Germany).

AWESOME. :D Love 'em.

> And finally Thirteen, we have some more KM Wilcox and the
> introduction of the character Crane Call..

Ohhhhhh. :o

>      "Those were LNHers in case you didn't notice!  Do you think we could
> take out seven superheroes by ourselves?!"
>      "Most of them don't even have combat abilities and we have submachine
> guns!

Legion of Net.Heroes.jpg

>      Confusion.  Disorientation.  Dizzyness.
>      <Focus.>
>      Windrider closes his eyes, reinforces his mental shields, and begins
> clearing his mind.

It's interesting. When I was young, I could only see how well-written this was. 
Now I can see the flaws, but also, the amount of Fun Energy in it.

> Partially
> lowering his shields, he prepares a mental probe...and then slams his
> shields back up again.
>      <A huge amount of background psychic energy, and it's directed.
> Something noticed me...was coming to investigate...then lost me behind my
> shields.  I'd better not risk anything psychic for now.

ooooooooh. :o Fascinating.

>      The other LNHers are scattered around the area unconcious, although
> some of them are beginning to stir.  Although the sky is a blank white,
> the ground appears to be normal dirt, and there are a few trees visible in
> the distance.  The plain is deserted except for the LNHers, and no
> buildings are in sight, but there is a disturbing sense of presence like
> someone reading over your shoulder.

See, this is loose and messy but evocative. :>

>      ==Brace yourself.==
>      --Why?--
>      ==I can't teleport, and in order to move myself telekinetically I
> need an anchor to pull against.  You're elected.==

Heeheehee. <3 Cute relationship.

> Pliable Lad stands up and brushes himself off.  "What happened?"
>      "Looks like that pocket of scrambled reality pulled us right in.

I note that this isn't how scrambled reality worked back in Looniverse Adrift!, 
but who cares, this is fun. <3

>      ==Multiple other minds...but all of them are completely psychic.  No
> physical form.  Wait a second...they're leaving.==
>      "Good.  One less thing to worry about."
>      Windrider opens his eyes and stares directly at Pliable Lad.  ==No,
> you don't understand.  Some kind of door has opened, and they're invading
> the Looniverse.==

DUN DUN DUN. Good cliffhanger!

>      The thing that used to be Peter Emmerson looks down at five mangled
> bodies.

We didn't need A Bunch Of Casual Kills to make the point, tho. Sigh~

>      The intercom went silent and Mr. J.O. sat back in his expensive
> leather chair, thinking the kind of thoughts master villains think in
> their spare time.

"Would it be too ostentatious to remodel the Statue of Liberty to look like 
myself? Or would that be just ostentatious *enough*?"

>      "My friend.  Your threats are extremely boring and unimaginative.
> Your language, such as it is, is laughable.  And your, vocabulary I would
> dare say, is sadly lacking.  Now please remove yourself from my immediate
> presence and start doing your job or I will have to put in my report the
> fact that you seem sadly unable to follow the most explisitely stated
> order."

daaaaaah please don't do Smart People Speech like this x-x

>      "Samuel Anderson, Team 4 reporting.  We have contact with several
> individuals standing near the crater.  Most of them are wearing gaudy
> spandex costumes, one in particular would be possible to spot from miles
> away.  Not only does he have the worst taste in costumes I have ever seen
> but he registers on the geiger counter as well....And he glows....."
>      "Net.Heroes!  Damn.  This may complicate things."

Heeheehee. <3

>      Gelatin shifted on the ground, and let out a groan.  He lifted his
> head from the ground, and opened his eyes.
>      Gelatin shifted around, and let out a groan.  He lifted his head from
> the floor, and opened his eyes.

Please tell me this becomes a thing. XD

>      "I am the keeper of lost story-lines.  I am the one who makes shure
> that whenever a writer gets a wonderful story, that the author never gets
> around to the story, and it then becomes forgotten.  For instance, your
> very own writer came up with a marvelous imprint called ASONS that was
> based on newspaper serials from the '30s such as Buck Rogers."
>      The man then showed a pendent on his necklace to the group.  Across
> the pendent clearly read "ASONS".
>      "It was a very interesting idea.  To bad he would never get around to
> using it."  The man let out a small smile.


>      "So, what does that have to do with us?"
>      "Well, you see I work with not only unused ideas, but also ideas that
> are already in progress.  Right now, I'm working on a particular story
> called 'The Omaha Project.'"

XD Ahhhhhhh

>      "Wait a minute.  Aren't we contributing to the story right now?"
>      "Do you actually believe that people read your stories?  Ha-ha-ha..."
>      The laughter send a chill through the R-Men.

Awwwwww. XD

>      "You think so?  How about if I told everyone that I knew what the
> purpose of the Omaha Project was?"
>      A worried look came across the man's face. "No you can't possibly
> know that!  It's impossible!  It's-"
>      "What is it, Gel?"  Vari asked.
>      "The purpose of the Omaha Project was to find a way to break the
> fifth wall."
>                                < G A S P ! >

I really like this chapter. XD XD XD

>      "What in the Sam Hill is going on in the Midwest?" Leonard
> Brushteckel, Fourteenth Executive Officer of Major Foods demanded,
> slamming the manilla folder on his desk.

This is a great paragraph.

>      Three minutes later, there was a knock at the office door.  "Enter,"
> Brushteckel said.  The vent behind him popped open, and a man dressed all
> in black climbed out.  "Call! If you were in the vent, who was at the
> door?"
>      "It was a distraction," Call answered. "If you'd been the enemy,
> you'd be dead, now."
>      "Normally, I detest these games," the executive sighed, "but this
> time, your talents will be most useful...."

Heeheehee. X3

>      "Mister Paprika!" the young executive yelled as he ran into his
> employer's office.  "We're under attack by zombies or... You're not Mister
> Paprika."
>    "Yes, I am," the man behind the desk laughed, pressing a button on his
> high-backed chair.  Instantly, the underling was vaporized. "I always
> was."

What? XD I'm so confused.

Drew "very LNH silliness" Perron

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