8FOLD: Mighty Medley # 29, May 2016, by Messrs. Brenton, McClure, Russell, and Stokes

[Drew Perron]

On 5/12/2016 7:11 AM, Tom Russell wrote:
<snip>
> "Science-Blades of Terra Alter" Part 1
>    by Adrian McClure
>
> It begins here: an epic for our times!

WOO YEAH

> On the deficiencies of your narrator, and the qualities of the source
> material.

Hmmmmm. :o A Tolkeinesque conceit, mayhaps?

>    And then, three months after the quake, he did come back. The story
> he'd told was strange and unbelievable, but no more so than his being
> here. He'd fallen into a gate beneath the earth, built by the
> Atlanteans, that led to Terra Alter: a funhouse-mirror version of the
> world he knew, where magic reigned and science was a secret
> underground tradition. There, he'd become a hero and gotten married.
> His new wife was Antinea, Science-Princess of New Atlantis. But while
> he had his duties as Champion of Terra Alter, he valued his old world
> and life too, especially Elaine. So the Atlan gates would take him
> between Earth and Terra Alter every three months. And marriages with
> more than two people were common there, so he'd come home to ask
> Elaine if she wanted to marry him too. She'd agreed, not without some
> mixed emotions.

Ahhhhh, man. :D So this *starts* with, not just the classic adventure, but the 
aftermath of it and taking the Cool Poly Ending, and *then* carrying on from 
*there*. Fascinating!

> The old
> dean had known about that business after assassins from the School of
> Night on Terra Alter had gone after the campus, and let him take a
> research position. But then the administration had changed and the new
> dean wasn't going to accept vague explanations for someone who'd be
> away for long periods of time. So they'd have to move to this school,
> which had a not insignificant number of superheroes on its faculty.

Oofda. :<

>    And then there was the loneliness. And while she didn't want to
> begrudge him his other life or his happiness, and she was thankful
> he'd stayed with her at all, but... While never jealous, exactly, she
> was sometimes angry there was a whole part of his life she'd never
> understand.

Haha. x.x Understandable.

> Like Penelope, she'd taken up weaving.

awwwwwww

>    "You're Elaine, aren't you? He's told me a lot about you." Elaine
> nodded, not really sure what to say in this situation, especially
> since she was still in her pajamas. "As you have no doubt guessed, I
> am Antinea, Science-Princess of New Atlantis. Our spouse is missing,
> and I need your help..."

Aaaaaa. :D <3 See, this is why romantic partners should try hanging out.

>    "The injun can write?" said Gulliver, flabbergasted.
>    Skin of Snake looked offended.
>    "I didn't mean it like that," said Gulliver. "I can't even read,
> and we Irish invented civilization."

Heeheehee.

>    Soon the paper and pencil were produced, and Skin of Snake began
> writing it all down. I won't get into every word that he done put
> down, mostly because your present narrator drew rather heavy-like from
> those pages in drafting his own summary of what transpired that night.

Ah, see :o I'm not sure if we've gotten implications of this before.

>    "I ain't afeared of dying, you know," said Adams.
>    "Yeah?" said Peake. "Well, pretty soon you'll be afeared of living."

I rate that as pretty reasonable on the horrible threat scale.

>    "I might," said Adams. "Hurt a man, and he's sure to holler. Maybe
> I will beg you to kill me, like I was a broken man. Don't mean it's
> true. Don't mean that I mean it in my heart, and that I'm broken for
> true."

FUCK YEAH. Excellent points.

>    "It don't need to be true," said Peake. "You're still going to say
> it, and I'm still going to hear it, and that's good enough for me. You
> think you're so slick with your pretty words. Words are words are
> words. And that's all they are. That's the problem with you johnnies.
> You speak your flowery words. You say that in your hearts, you were
> unconquered. But Atlanta burned and Lee turned tail just the same. You
> lost just the same."

Oh my god shut up YOU ARE BORING. You're not supposed to make me sympathize with 
people who get a bug up their ass about the Civil War >:/

> "This is too much for me to handle alone, however."
>    But you're never alone, are you, Librarian? Fn'ordh didn't say, shivering.

That's such a good line. :D

>    =Fortunately,= the fused voice continued, the brunette's eyes
> flaring golden once more, =data processing and manipulation are my
> specialty.= The wires started flipping pages all at once - forward,
> mostly, then backward in some books. The original cross orientation
> was rotated, then rotated again, then back partially to make an X
> instead. Then a horizontal line. Then a pentagon. All while the pages
> turned, faster and faster, back and forth, too much for Fn'ordh to
> track or even comprehend, so much that he was forced to look away for
> a moment.

I love this kind of sequence. :D Expressively visual!

>    "Empress," Fn'ordh repeated, not quite sure how to take this, and
> looked at the woman again - the laborer's clothing she wore, her
> messy, unstyled hair, her face smudged with grease. That face, shining
> with those golden eyes, sharp enough to pierce anything; the patches
> of silver and carbon-black in place of flesh on her arms, with the
> threat of those wires ready to come bursting out at any time; and most
> of all, the massive tome gripped in one gloved hand, the tome that was
> almost certainly what he thought it was, and had never dreamed he'd
> see in person, much less reconstructed before his very eyes.
>    The daemon inclined his head respectfully. "Empress."

Aaaaaaaa. :D :D :D ALSO SELLS IT REALLY WELL.

>    With a bright, almost avaricious smile, the Librarian- no, the
> Empress scanned the cover's green script. =You said this was the Tome
> of Royal Lineage, yes?=
<snip>
>    =That is not the name of this book,= she returned with a smile that
> just seemed to get wider and wider as she flipped slowly through the
> pages, taking her time. =This is the 'Capsule World Manual'

DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

> "Yes, the Many Angled Ones are
> that old. Old enough to remember when your YahwehAllahChrist was just
> one of the seventy sons of El Elyon, your original creator god, rather
> than pretending to be him."

Okay. `.`v

> Joan took the
> blast full on and was thrown back against force box with a bone
> crunching sound, one arm and both of her legs vaporised away.

awwwwww Joan :<

>    Just in time to be blown away as Oustler cut down the senior
> Reichsmage with his own power blast.

HELL YEAH.

>  Then she caught sight of Marcus casually adjusting a
> pair of green gloves that he had not been wearing a few seconds ago,
> and a number of pieces of information fell together. Demons and
> possession and multidimensional Lovecraftian abominations.
>    Dane had not been a man wearing green gloves. The Many Angled One
> was a pair of green gloves that had been wearing a man!

Ohhhhhhh shit. Now *that* is a neat twist.

>    Once they were gone, Deidre turned to Joan's still smouldering body
> and said, "Okay, they're gone. Let's compare notes. I've thought of
> one, maybe two ways to deal with this. Do you want me to kill you?"

And that's a really strong cliffhanger.

>    Lobsterman writing to express outrage regarding events which only
> recently come to Lobsterman attention. Lobsterman referring to
> Lobsterman card in your 1994 Black Capes Collectable Trading Cards
> set. Lobsterman card number 84 in series for your reference. Card
> riddled with inaccuracies and Lobsterman seeking redress.

Oh this is great. XD

>    But Lobsterman really upset about power ratings. On scale of one to
> ten on card, Lobsterman strength is six? Lobsterman think you will
> find Lobsterman power is eight, easy, maybe even nine. You ask anyone
> who fight Lobsterman. They say, Lobsterman eight, Lobsterman not six.
> Ha! That is them laughing because you say Lobsterman is six.
> Lobsterman laughs too. Ha!

Heeheehee

> Lobsterman not Einstein, but Lobsterman at least five. Lobsterman
> knows how to use semicolon; Snake Master not even use punctuation at
> all. Lobsterman civilized, with expressive prose style. Lobsterman
> intelligence not three, card-man.

Lobsterman makes good points.

>    Regarding the power ratings, it is an admittedly imperfect system,
> and highly subjective. Part of the problem lies in the fact that we
> need to account for everyone from King Kudzu (rated 1 in strength) to
> Devil Prince Satanor (rated 10). On that scale, a six is very
> respectable, and certainly a force to be reckoned with. If we were to
> raise you to an eight as you suggest, the rating for Satanor would
> need to be increased to at least fourteen, which renders the ten-point
> scale unworkable.
>    Similarly, please be assured that we meant no insult regarding your
> obvious and considerable intellectual capabilities. Einstein, who you
> mention in your letter, would likely rate only a five himself, as he
> is hardly the All-Knowing Over-Brain. Your point about Snake Master is
> well taken, and his rating will be revised to 2 in next year’s set.
> (Please do not tell Snake Master this.)

I love this, I think. :>

Drew "refreshing and fun, also hoping for a Satanor story" Perron