RACCIES: 2015 (22nd Annual) RACCies Ceremony

Scott Eiler seiler at eilertech.com
Sun Jun 12 16:15:40 PDT 2016

Author's Note:  12 June 2009 was when I introduced myself to RACC with a 
story.  I eventually republished that story as a Powernaut comic, 
guest-starring a representative of LNH20.  So, within my realities, the 
Museum of Ordered Realities notes that date to be First Contact with the 

On this seventh anniversary, I'm proud to have worked with Drew to bring 
you this ceremony.

(signed) Scott, 12 June 2016.


The Hyper-Piper of Hypergaard was dressed in a dark green tuxedo.  He 
walked up to Ares, dressed in a similar dark brown tuxedo.

The Hyper-Piper said, "Heh.  We contested over cosmic-level awards for 
over a century.  It's amusing to see the *mortals* contest over these 
for once.  Especially since this year will be special."

"It will.  But this is a place of truce, so I must tell you that I am 
not the Ares you know."

The Hyper-Piper squinted...  "Oh, right.  *Godling's* Ares."

"Nay, he is *my Godling*!"

"Whatever...  Would you join me in my private hyper-observation box for 
the ceremony nonetheless?  I would be sad to observe this spectacle 
without an Ares.  I expect many amusing guests.  And I brought hyper-wine."


                      RACCies of Champions 2015!

Lydia Devin was used to the RACCies by now.  She tried to go down the 
aisle to her seat among Nominees as usual.

But then the skies broke open.  A Celestial Being broke through. 

"Aww, crap, again?  Any choice here?"

"NO."  Lydia ascended.

On the other end, she saw the other Cosmic Powers.  One was an oldish 
woman, holding a flask of green liquid.  She said, "Greetings, fellow 
Goddess.  I am Mother Time."

Lydia decided to be respectful.  "Greetings, Mother Time Goddess... 
Who's that one?"  She pointed at a floating transparent blue baby filled 
with stars.

"Young Goddess, that one calls themself Chaos Theory.  They merely 
*self-identify* as a baby."

"'They'?  Is there more than one?"

"No, they just like to call themselves that.  Yet they, like us, have 
the power of a Reigning God.  Below *those*, of course."  Mother Time 
pointed up.

Lydia's Celestial Being was there, with three others.  Four 
RACCelestials had assembled.

Mother Time responded as Lydia looked back down.  "Young Goddess, you 
know of the RACCie Awards.  The RACCelestials are for the first time 
*breaking in* to them."

The baby-god Chaos Theory broke in.  "They've come to decide whether 
RACCies get to exist ever again!  They say there's a Drama Force that's 
dragging RACCies down!  Plus an Apathy Force that makes just *Four 
Writers* decide the awards!  The Powers shall abolish *both* these forces!"

Lydia smirked at the baby-god.  "I get this Drama Force, and I'm not the 
one to fight the Apathy Force...  But narrow the other stuff down.  Do 
those Celestials mean, no awards?"

"No!  They say, No Drama!"

"What about Apathy?"

"*They* can't fight the Apathy Force either!  If it goes on forever, it 
means universes don't exist!"

Mother Time spoke.  "There seem to be four directions for this metaverse 
now.  Those are Order vs. Chaos, and Apathy vs. Drama."

Lydia shrugged.  "Okaay...  No arguing about any of that.  So, No Drama 
right now, or *ever*?  We're having RACCies *right now.*"

Chaos Theory shrieked back up...  "They're still deciding about this 
year!  And the future!"

Lydia covered her ears.  "Whatever...  Worrying about the future sucks. 
But since we're getting people here for RACCies *right now*, maybe I 
could *bring some of them here* to help decide about *this year*??"

Chaos Theory was silent.  Mother Time said, "This is allowed.  As the 
Apathy Force says that four people decide the awards, so the Drama Force 
says four Gods and Goddesses may gather to judge their fate, and four 
humans may argue before us."

"I count *three* Gods and Goddesses here... but bringing more of *those* 
just isn't my job.  How about that *people* thing?"

Mother Time nodded.  And so Lydia gestured below.


Nerf Girl was yanked up from the Monitor Board of LNH Headquarters.  She 
was a teenage girl in a skintight garish outfit, with a Nerf sword at 
the ready.  (Her home universe was designated "LNH20", not the most 
popular LNH.  She didn't know.  She wouldn't have cared.)

Captain Fucking Awesome... was being Fucking Awesome!  She stood out 
among pirates of the seaways, spaceways, airways, and worldways - for 
she was East Asian with long white hair, with a magic *toy* blade!  But 
someone pulled her away from that...  Fucking Bogus!  (Her universe was 
apparently "LNH2".  She didn't know.  She wouldn't have cared.)

Password Lord was on a mission, with his teammates Front Page Kami and 
King UID.  Together they were undefeatable.  But he was yanked up... 
His teammates were left behind!  (His universe was Alt.Er.Net 
Nit.I.verse.  If he knew, he didn't care right then.)

Toejam used to drive a tour bus, full of dancers and superhumans. 
They'd hired him *despite* his weird superhuman power, but it had come 
in handy.  He was retired now, near the icy shores of Lake Michigan in 
Wisconsin.  When the summons came, he was at his local bar.  He shrugged 
at his fellow patrons, and just said, "Gotta go."  He'd heard of 
universes; he even knew his was called SW10.  He didn't care.  He was 
ready for just about anything.


Nerf Girl, Captain Fucking Awesome, Password Lord, and Toejam stood 
before three towering figures:  a floating glowing baby, a middle-aged 
woman in a toga, and a young woman in black.  The young woman spoke...

"Ehh, I know you're wondering why I called you here...  Right.  You'd 
like an introduction.  You can call me Lydia.  And there's a cosmic 
trial going on, between Apathy and Drama.  You can't really imagine how 
big this trial is.  But your universes depend on Drama.  And you're here 
to testify why your universes should still exist...  Go!"

There was an outcry, to which she responded...  "No offense.  My 
universe was even crappier than yours.  At least, that's what *I* say. 
And it's pretty much dying from Apathy.  Fine with me."  She turned to 
the older woman.  "Any chance you can go kill *that* one now?"


"Figured.  Anyway, now I'm *here*.  I hate to say it, but I'd rather 
have Drama than Apathy right now."

The older woman spoke, "Some order might be appropriate..."  She pointed 
at Password Lord.  "You!  Why is *your* universe worthy to exist due to 

Password Lord slightly cringed for a moment, but then stood erect.  "I 
reject this dichotomy!  I instead question whether anything *outside* my 
universe has a right to exist for *any* reason!  *My* universe has no 
need of you!"

Captain Fucking Awesome joined in, "Neither does mine!  Unless we can 
send a fucking pirate *boarding party* and raid your treasure!"

Nerf Girl spoke up.  "I get it!  We *all* have universes, and we all 
exist!  We don't ask whether we're *worthy* to exist, we just do!"

There was a moment of silence.  Then Toejam joined in... "Yeah.  I heard 
about this universe stuff.  If you're trying to stamp it out for some 
reason, it's like stamping out labor.  Maybe you win, but then who 
*works* for you?  And if you want to stamp out *universes*, then what?"

Mother Time responded.  "You have all spoken well.  And so, *this* 
ceremony may continue."

The four visiting heroes briefly cheered, but they quieted as Mother 
Time continued. "However, the RACCelestials still insist, Drama *will* 
be judged in these ceremonies.  Each award will correspond to a contest. 
  You will observe several contests concerning whether Drama *survives*."


"Oh, surely you have heard of Contests of Champions.  There are 
twenty-five awards at stake in this ceremony.  The RACCelestials have 
secretly chosen their champions for each award.  And they have decreed, 
each award will be a true contest to determine who is the most worthy. 
So shall this be a *RACCies* Contest of Champions."

Toejam asked, "What kind of contests?"

Mother Time spoke, "Even I do not know.  Only the RACCelestials know."

Nerf Girl asked, "Are we in the contests?"


Password Lord spoke...  "Then why are we here?"

Mother Time spoke, "The part of you four Earth mortals is done.  You 
shall observe the contests from beyond."

She gestured.  Nerf Girl, Captain Fucking Awesome, Password Lord, and 
Toejam together arrived in a burst of energy in a lavish sports arena box.

There, a long-haired man in a green tuxedo greeted them.  "Ah, I see my 
guests have arrived.  You may call me Hyper-Piper."


The glowing blue cosmic baby came forth from among the Cosmic Powers, 
and started speaking to the worlds ...

"Hello, RACC!  My name is Chaos Theory!  I may look like something 
that's not on any birth certificate, but I don't feel the need to 
explain myself!  Let me introduce my fellow Emcees...  Mother Time!" 
The oldish woman nodded.

"You know this one...  Lydia Devin!"  The youngish woman nodded, and 
then raised her hands slightly and shrugged.

"And finally...  Mother Time, if you could do the honors with that flask 
in your hands!"

The oldish woman held high a flask of garish green liquid.  Some kind of 
energy bolts came out of her eyes at the flask.  Something emerged 
beyond it... a bubbling green pool of slime.  It erected itself in 
blob-like form but godlike proportions, alongside the three other Higher 
Powers.  Chaos Theory continued, "I introduce, the Primordial Force of 
Earth Life!"

There was some very scattered clapping, as Chaos Theory contined. 
"Mother Time and Primordial Force will be working with us, to bring back 
*every nominee* who otherwise wouldn't be with us!  That's right! 
Together we will conquer Death, just for today!"  More clapping.

"So now we present a very *special* awards ceremony..."

                        o  o  o  o  o  o  o
                 o  o  o     The  2015     o  o  o
           o  o  o  o  -->(*22ND* Annual)<--  o  o  o  o
                 o  o  o  RACCie  AWARDS!  o  o  o
                        o  o  o  o  o  o  o

                      RACCies of Champions 2015!

The glowing blue baby-god Chaos Theory started the ceremony...  "For 
those just joining us, the RACCies will be decided by contests!  These 
are the RACCies of Champions!

"Our first contest is for Reviewers.  We're counting on this contest to 
give us our insightful commentator for all the other contests!  This 
contest is apparently...  Show Up for the Award!  So, its winner is... 
hey, where's Kid Review??  And who's this Psychovant??"

** RACC14.  FAVORITE REVIEW TITLE:  Catalog of Earths, 2015 Update! 
(Accepted by Psychovant the Duck)

"Uhh.  From the field, we have Sammy the Starfish to interview the 
winner.  Sammy, over to you!"

"Yes, sir!... Hello, Mister Duck, and how do you do?"

"Hello, Mister Starfish, you make me wanna spew!"

"And how do you feel on this wonderful day?"

"It just makes me feel as if all is okay!  ... Gah!  You're making me 
speak in rhyme!"

"That's right, 'cause a poem is just a good time!  Now come see the 
Gods, 'cause for you there's a job!"

"Okay then, I will, for I am a ... DUCK THAT KICKS ASS!  Hah!"

As Sammy and Psychovant left camera, Chaos Theory took over...  "Okaay. 
We'll have our new commentator soon.  But there's a contest on!  Team 
RACCelestial wants to abolish drama from the RACCies forever!  Team 
Adventurer wants drama to go on!  And the score is..."

** Team RACCelestial 1, Team Adventurer 0!

"Over to Team Adventurer Headquarters, with the Hyper-Piper of Hypergaard!"

"Thank you, I think."  A long-haired man in a green tuxedo, resembling 
Movie Loki only more angular, stood inside an arena-style sports box and 
spoke to a camera.  "I have the Team of Adventurers here:  Toejam, 
Password Lord, Nerf Girl, and Captain Fucking Awesome!  I'm sure people 
would love to know what you think about this early win by the Cosmic 
Powers who want to *shut down* the excitement in the awards for adventure."

As the others looked at each other, Toejam said, "Whatever."


Chaos Theory spoke to the cameras.  "Ah, here comes our first champion 
to do the commentary...  Take over, Psychovant!"

"heh...  Okaaay!"  Psychovant the Duck looked at a teleprompter.  "You 
say we're having contests for each award?"

"We are!  Just follow the script!"

"-yes, master- ..."  Psychovant then sounded chirpy.  "And I'm going to 
do my darnedest to make this ceremony the most RACCtacular ever!"

Chaos Theory looked skeptical as Psychovant paused.  But then the duck 
continued.  "Well then!  We got a real contest for the Best Discussion 
award!  It's going to be...  Oh, gag, it's a Public Speaking contest 
judged by the Toastmasters!  Yawn!

"Our contenders are...  heh, the Ultimate Ninja, representing the Daily 
LNH Wiki Spotlight!  Next... Hot $#!+!  It's a Naughty Teenage Babe, 
representing LNH v3!  And finally, uhh, it's a Grouch-creature, 
representing a visitor from Tumblr!  Yeah, the teleprompter tells me the 
Higher Powers tracked this guy down!"

The monitor showed three people (well, two people and one Grouch), each 
speaking at a podium.

"So, our winner according to the Toastmasters is..."  Psychovant opened 
an envelope.  "Crap!  It wasn't a Naughty Teenage Babe!"

** RACC17.  BEST DISCUSSION:  The Daily LNH Wiki Spotlight!

Psychovant continued... "Oh, we have someone special to give this gift 
to the Ultimate Ninja... It's Nicholas!  As in, the saint!"

The camera cut to a bald white-bearded man in a red sheepskin coat, 
holding out an award to a man in a ninja outfit plus red and white 
striped shorts.  As he presented the award, Nicholas said, "Ho."  The 
Ultimate Ninja said, "Okay."

Chaos Theory broke in.  "The Gods have spoken again!  Team RACCelestial 
pulls even farther ahead in their drive to expel drama from the RACCies!"

** Team RACCelestial 2, Team Adventurer 0!

"And from Team Adventurer headquarters, we have Ares now!  Ares, how's 
the team reacting to this latest loss?"

A large man in a brown tuxedo extended a microphone toward a female 
pirate with long white hair.  "How *do* you feel about this, Captain 
Fucking Awesome?"

"Fucking stupid contest!"


Psychovant the Duck continued, from the reviewing stand of Higher 
Powers.  "Okay, we got an award to give for Running Gag now.  And in 
keeping with the award, the contest is...  Perform a gag!  And our 
contestants are...  Crap, what's Spanker 4 doing *here*??"

Chaos Theory projected his voice.  "Just read the monitor."

"Whatever:  Our contestents are:  Drew's Ridiculous Wiki Entry Post 
Titles - represented by Net.Access!  Spanker 4 - represented by Spanker 
4!  And, "The pretense that we'll all be able to keep this up and won't 
inevitably sink into a morass of apathy and unfinished stories, ha ha 
haaaaa" - represented by the Grouch-creature from Tumblr!  And our 
contest is, Do a Gag!"

The monitor showed on split screen, each contestant standing at an urban 
street corner with an old lady asking directions.  Then it expanded to 
show each contestant in turn.

The Grouch was a fuzzy gray creature in a wooden crate.  He told the old 
lady, "Back to that last alley, then turn right."  When the old lady 
left, he said, "Well, those directions always worked for *me.*"  Cue 
laugh track!

The Spanker was a large silvery alien life form.  He said, "SPANK!" 
Then he sent the old lady flying with his paddly appendage.  Cue laugh 
track, and some closed captioning...  "No old lady was harmed in the 
making of this video."

The Net.Access was a normal young woman, albeit in a green and orange 
costume.  She said, "It's right this way.  I'll show you."  They walked 
together (the same direction the Spanker had spanked his old lady), and 
made small talk about modern heroism.

Psychovant said, "Heh.  I know who I'd vote for.  So, the winner is..." 
His eyes goggled.  "Net.Access??  Oh, it seems the contest was secretly, 
*Don't* Do a Gag!"

**  RACC18.  FAVORITE RUNNING GAG:  Drew's Ridiculous Wiki Entry Post 
Titles!  RUNNERS-UP:  Spanker 4 and "The pretense that we'll all be able 
to keep this up and won't inevitably sink into a morass of apathy and 
unfinished stories, ha ha haaaaa"!

"These trophies will be presented by the Green Knight.  Take it away, 
*other* robot creature!"

Back at the street corner, the three contestants were waiting.  A 
human-sized green robot with an emerald on his head walked to them, with 
three trophies.  "Congratulations, contestants!  Net.Access, what do you 
think of this award?"

As the Green Knight handed Net.Access her award, she gushed.  "I believe 
this shows the lasting value of heroism in a world which believes in 
cheap thrills!"

"Net.Access, I couldn't agree more.  And you, Grouch?"

"Bah."  The Grouch grabbed his RUNNER-UP trophy from the Green Knight's 
outstretched hand.

"I understand.  And you, Spanker?"  The Green Knight held out the other 
RUNNER-UP trophy.

"SPANK!"  Spanker 4 grabbed his trophy with one paddle-shapped 
appendage, and spanked the Green Knight over the horizon with the other.

 From the review stand, Psychovant took over.  "All right!  Now here's 
the contest total...  Oooh, the Powers That Be weren't expecting that 
result either!  Team Adventurer is on the board!"

** Team RACCelestial 2, Team Adventurer 1!

Psychovant said, "Hey, Spanker 4, come on up to the review stand!  We 
got a job for you!"

Chaos Theory said, "We do??"

"Sure!  Roving Color Commentator!  Just look at that gag of his!  And 
just think of all the people who need that!"

"Whatever... I guess I *am* named after *Chaos*.  Come on up!"

Spanker 4 said, "MERGE!"  He moved off-monitor.

Psychovant said, "He's coming this way!  Now to the hero box with Team 

 From the viewing box, the Hyper-Piper spoke to Team Adventurer.  "I see 
how these interviews are going...  Do you have anything to say, now that 
your team is starting to make points?"

Nerf Girl responded, "Whoopee.  Higher Powers usually find a way to do 
whatever they want to anyway."

"Indeed.  That's what we do.  But humans tend to do that too, as does 
all sentient life...  Back to you, Higher Powers!  You too, Duck."


And so Psychovant continued.  "Next up, the Doctor Stomper Bronze Boot 
for Excellence in Exposition!  Our contenders are:  Some new nameless 
Cosmic Power, representing Looniverse Chronicles #6!  And, Julie Ann 
Justice, representing Nonfiction #5 which is titled, Justice for Julie 
Ann Justice!  Oh, let *me* justice throw in the word Justice a few more 
justice times!  And our contest is...  Identify Constellations as Viewed 
from Earth!"

The monitor showed an alien human-like woman and a nebulous blob of 
light, each looking at pictures of constellations in turn.

Psychovant opened an envelope.  "And our winner is... Looniverse 
Chronicles #6!"

Looniverse Chronicles #6 [LNH]!  RUNNER-UP:  Nonfiction #5 [8FOLD]!

"Now we go to Cynical Lass, presenting the awards!"

A woman in jeans and a long gray sweatshirt, smoking a cigarette, 
appeared on monitor and held the awards.  She just said, "Whatever."

Cosmic Power swallowed the winner trophy, and disappeared.  Julie Ann 
Justice took the RUNNER-UP trophy, and said, "I'd like to thank everyone 
who believes in justice and freedom for humanity!"

Cynical Lad responded, "Whatever."

Psychovant said, "The Powers are getting powered back!  The RACCies of 
Champions stands at..."

** Team RACCelestial 2, Team Adventurer 2!

In the Team Adventurer box, Ares held a microphone toward Password Lord. 
  "Any comment?"

"Just...  Whatever happens, whatever Powers do, we'll circumvent it 
somehow.  That's what humanity does!"

"And that's why gods like me pick humans as our warriors!  ... Back to 
you, Review Stand!"


"All right!  This is Psychovant the Duck, going on with the RACCies! 
I'm joined by our new color commentator, Spanker 4!  Spanker, what do 
you have to say about how these awards are going?"


"I love how you think!  Now we have the Web Page Award!  Our contenders 
are:  The LNH Wiki, represented by Wiki Boy!  The Pipermail Eyrie 
Archive, represented by Everyone!"  The monitor cut to a camera view of 
every Writer and Commentator in RACC ever.  "Then there's...  Oh, crap, 
the Powernaut's in the running!  Powernaut *1985* is showing up for the 
contest, courtesy of Mother Time over here!"  The elder Goddess nodded. 
"And finally, Ripping Off King Arthur, represented by Learny Chainsawrf! 
  And the contest is...  Trivia!"

The monitor showed to four characters at Jeopardy-style stands.  One 
character was flashing through Everyone.  But Wiki Boy was racking up 

"And the winner is..."



Psychovant chuckled.  "That's right, Spanker 4, that sure was a 
spanking!  Now to present this award, we have Professor Morgan 
Lafayette!  Must be here 'cause she's a trivia genius or something."

An attractive, tastefully-dressed middle-aged woman in slacks spoke into 
a microphone.  "Oh, I have some knowledge..."  She turned and gave an 
award to Wiki Boy.  "You're a winner today!"

"If you say so!"  Wiki Boy morphed to resemble Charlie Sheen.

"... Eww.  Back to you in the stand!"

"Right!  I got yer winner right here!"  Psychovant continued... "And so 
do the gods!"

** Team RACCelestial 3, Team Adventurer 2!

"Anything from Team Adventurer?"

In the viewing box, Ares and the Hyper-Piper looked blankly at Password 
Lord, Toejam, Nerf Girl, and Captain Fucking Awesome.  The heroes looked 
blankly back.

"... Okay!  Five awards down, twenty to go!  Next award, please!"


"Next up, we hame some serious awards about Writers!  Starting with, 
Favorite Writer!  Our contenders are:  Colin Stokes, represented by 
Fn'ordh the Demon!  Tom Russell, by the Blue Boxer!  George Phillies is 
sending Speaker Ming in!  And Rob Rogers has sent EDM Lite!  Has anyone 
ever seen Rob Rogers and EDM Lite together?"  Psychovant turned to 
Spanker 4.


"... yup, maybe they *do* just merge.  But anyway, their contest is... 
Crossword Puzzles!  They've each been given the same puzzle, so it's a 
plain old race!  Let's check those monitors now!  ... oooh, it looks 
close, but it's finishing up now!  We've got a winner, and it looks like 
a RUNNER-UP too!"

The monitors showed Fn'ordh flourishing a fountain pen as he finished 
his puzzle.  The Blue Boxer erased one last square, then filled it in 
ten seconds later.

"Huh.  Who'd have guessed either of *them* were so good at 
problem-solving?  But here we go!"

** RACC1.  FAVORITE WRITER:  Colin Stokes!  RUNNER-UP:  Tom Russell!

"And to present this award, we have one of those old-time problem 
solvers...  a nameless cop from Victorian London, courtesy of The 
Continentals!  Take it away, Nameless Cop!"

"Righty.  People underestimate how smart we working-class guys are, but 
I bet I could solve some crime if those detectives weren't always 
underfoot...  Wot was this about, then?"

Fn'ordh smirked.  "You were about to compliment the two of us on our 
wordsmithing skills."

"Righty."  The cop shoved the awards at Fn'ordh and the Blue Boxer.  "Be 
off with you then!"

Blue Boxer said, "Yes, sir."  Fn'ordh merely raised his eye ridges while 
still smirking, and gave a parting salute with two fingers.

Psychovant said, "Team Adventurer has tied it up again!"

** Team RACCelestial 3, Team Adventurer 3!

"Now let's check in with Team Adventurer again...  Any change there?"

The Hyper-Piper responded.  "Ares and I are going to try something 
different.  Every time Our Heroes decline to comment, the two of *us* 
take a swig of hyper-wine!  Ready... Go!"

As Ares and the Hyper-Piper raised their glasses, Password Lord said, 
"Hey, wait a minute..."

"Too late!", said Ares as they took their drinks.

"Ahhh... Better luck next time!", the Hyper-Piper joined in.  "Back to 
you, Duck."


"Awright!  Now we got the Favorite Person Award!  The real contenders 
this year are...  Arthur, Drew, and Russ!  For this contest, they've 
sent...  Eggplant the Miracle Komodo Dragon!  The Clever Girl from the 
Dinosaur Lab!  And, well, FAQ Boy."  A monitor showed one human sitting 
in a room with two reptiles.  "And the challenge is...  Find Your 

FAQ Boy said, "Huh?"

Clever Girl (the dinosaur) said, "Thanks to our swarming instinct, we 
can do this."  The room started to rumble.

But even as the first of the dinosaur swarm arrived, the room filled 
with Miracle Pets!  Komodo smirked as Jalapeno the Fourth of July 
Miracle Cat yelled, "Arriba!  It's a RACCies Miracle!"

Psychovant said, "Well, there you have it."

RUNNER-UP:  Drew Perron!

"And since this is such a holiday, we got Nicholas to present again!"

"Well, ho then.  I like *every* holiday, and they're all here!"

FAQ Boy pointed out, "*Except* Christmas.  *That* Miracle Pet's still dead."

"That's fine.  Christmas is pretty well covered already."  Nicholas put 
the Winner trophy in front of Eggplant, and handed the RUNNER-UP trophy 
to the dinosaur.  "And you *are* such a clever girl!"

Back in the review stand, Psychovant guffawed, "Awww...  Over to the 
hero booth!  Team Adventurer just pulled ahead in their drive to keep 
drama in the RACCies!  Anything from Team Adventurer here?"

** Team RACCelestial 3, Team Adventurer 4!

Ares and the Hyper-Piper sat on stools next to Password Lord and Toejam. 
  The two heroes were holding the two glasses of wine, as Ares asked, 
"Ho then, any comment *this* time?"

"Sure."  Password Lord led.  "Told you so."  He raised his glass.

"Wait!"  Nerf Girl burst in.  "They said it was hyper-wine!  How do we 
know that's not *magic* wine or something?"

Toejam smiled.  "Maybe I could have my *friend* taste one."  He raised 
his right foot, which he'd unclad.

Captain Fucking Awesome held her nose.  "Fuck, that stinks!"

"But it sure comes in handy."  Toejam pulled at one of his smallest 
toes.  Its toenail came off.  Then it grew a new toe around it, and 
started growing.  At six inches tall, Toejam put it down.  By five feet 
tall, it had arms and feet of its own.

The Hyper-Piper smirked.  "So how does it drink?"

"I can help it with that."  Toejam drained the glass, then looked at the 
huge little toe.

The nail started dripping reddish-brown bubbles.  The toe swayed a 
bit...  but then it stood up again, much cleaner!  Toejam said, "He 
says, don't have much, but it's good stuff."

"Cheers, then!"  Password Lord drained his glass.  Then he fell off his 

As Nerf Girl helped him back up, Toejam shrugged.  "Guess we can't all 
be as strong as my little toe."


"Right!  This is Psychovant the Duck again, with the Most Improved 
Author contest!  We got:  Ben Rawluk, represented by Bad Poetry Boy! 
Mike Friedman, who sent in Austin Allen!  And finally George Phillies, 
who sent in the Possessor of the Namestone!  I'm guessin' this contest 
is a Scavenger Hunt...  Oops, it's a Poetry Slam!"

The monitor showed two men and a woman, standing at microphones.  One 
man recited - and the other two got knocked over, away from him!

Psychovant looked up, way up, toward the Writers looming over even the 
Cosmic Powers and the RACCelestials.  "Really, Writer?  You had to write 
a *real poetry slam*??"

 From the sky came a deafening shrug, until Lydia Devin interrupted.  "I 
think the Writers want you to just get on with the award, Duck."

"Okaaaay..."  Psychovant looked at the teleprompter.  "Big surprise 
result here...  We got RUNNERS-UP!"

"Now who's presenting?  ... It's the Grouch-Creature from Tumblr!"

A delivery man carted a brown wooden crate into the poetry contest room. 
  A fuzzy gray creature popped its head out, and cupped three trophies 
in its large hands.  "Okay awready, I'm here to present...  Come 'n' get 

Psychovant said, "Hey, Grouch, I like your style.  Wanna join my team?"

"Up yers, rubber ducky!  I'm outta here!"  The delivery man turned 
around and wheeled the Grouch out.

The duck rolled its cyborg cartoon demon duck eyes.  "Oh well, maybe 
*Team Adventurer* will talk to me now, 'cause they're pulling ahead!"

** Team RACCelestial 3, Team Adventurer 5!

Nerf Girl spoke for the team.  "Oh yeah, we're enjoying this now... 
Remember, everyone, just a sip!"  They each drank.

Captain Fucking Awesome swayed a bit and raised her glass, half-empty. 
"Fuck yeah!"


"Okay!  Psychovant the Duck with the next award...  Favorite New Writer! 
  Contestants are... errr..."

Chaos Theory grimaced.  "Skip this one, creature.  There *are* no 

"Oh yeah?"  Psychovant pointed, at a growing blob of darkness. 
"*Something's* come to claim the award!"

"Watch out!"  Mother Time gestured, and the blob stopped.  "... That was 
Darkness.  *Ultimate* Darkness.  I sense it was somehow propelled by 
Apathy Force.  Fortunately I have frozen time around it."

Lydia Devin said, "Really?  Around *all* of Ultimate Darkness??  I don't 
think so."  Then she pointed.  Ten more blobs of darkness erupted, and 
coalesced into one.

Psychovant yelled.  "Cripes' sake, give it what it wants!"  He grabbed 
the RACCie trophy for Favorite New Writer, and threw it at the Darkness.

Just then, the Darkness pulled back as a humanoid form emerged.  It wore 
an Earth-male business suit, but had wild protruding hair and vaguely 
orange skin.  It fumbled with the award, but managed not to drop it.

Psychovant's jaw dropped.  "Aww, crap.  This is *worse* than Ultimate 

Mother Time asked, "Exactly how?"

Lydia answered, "The duck's right.  That's *Donald Trump!*"

Trump called up, "Hey, I want some respect here.  *You* can call me 
*President* Trump."

"Hey, wait for the election already."  Lydia rolled her eyes.

"Naaah, President Chump has a point," Pschovant commented.  "On 
Earth-SW10, he won the *2012* election!"

Trump raised both his hands in a victory pose.  "And I won with 
leadership that makes America great again!  Now I'll be bringing my 
program to the RACCies!  First, a wall to keep New Writers *out* so as 
to keep more awards for *existing* writers!  I'll be recycling this New 
Writer award to *build* that wall!"

Lydia's eyes kept rolling.  "Yeah, *that'll* work."

Trump kept going.  "That's right!  As a RACCie outsider, I'm the perfect 
one to make the RACCies finally work!   So, here are the rest of the 
Writer awards:  *Roll that teleprompter!*  Next, there's this 
Rabbit-Breeder's Cup... I'll be suspending that award, to reduce the 
load on our overloaded award system!"

As the audience murmured, Psychovant said, "No big loss."

"After that, some Johnny Sokko Giant Robot Loving Cup.  Don't need that 
one either.  Am I right?"

Boos erupted from the audience.  Trump yelled, "Throw 'em out!"  The 
security force started moving at his command.

As Chaos Theory stared blankly, Mother Time spoke.  "Oh, my.  It's a 
full-on attack by the Apathy Force to shut down the ceremony!  But it's 
harnessing the Drama Force somehow!"

Lydia responded, "Yeah.  Right now Trump's an avatar for Drama, and a 
carrier for Apathy.  So he's channeling Drama Force *and* Apathy Force. 
So *we can't stop him.*"  She pointed at the audience.  "But they can!"

Psychovant nodded.  "Ehh, yeah.  Perfect targets for Drama 'n' Apathy. 
But they need some help.  Now, what's Trump hate the most?  ... How 
about old schmaltzy music?  *Everyone* hates that!"

Lydia nodded.  "Yeah.  But what to sing?"

"heh. Lemme check my audio library... Got it!"  Psychovant whipped out 
an audio cable ('cause he's only a 2009 cyborg).  Then he hooked himself 
up to the sound system.

The loudspeakers blared out, and the monitor showed lyrics with a 
bouncing red ball.  "What the world needs now, is Love, Sweet Love..."

Chaos Theory snickered.  "I get it!"  They turned to the audience. 
"Everyone, sing along!"

The monitor switched to Team Adventurer, arms around each other's 
shoulders, swaying back and forth together, holding their hyper-wine 
glasses.  "It's the only thing that there's just too little of!"  Ares 
and the Hyper-Piper raised glasses behind them.

Switch to three other people on screen.  In a room with a banner 
"Rabbit-Breeder's Cup - Drinking Contest", three large people (two big 
men and one big purple woman) also held cups together.  Nametags said, 
"Imperilus for Scott Eiler", "Chuggernaut for Arthur Spitzer", and 
"Gracemora the Dorf for Drew Perron".  They joined in.  "What the world 
needs now, is Love, Sweet Love..."

Back at the ceremony, President Trump yelled, "Stop it!  I've got 
reality!  The reality of Making The RACCies Great Again!"

But the whole audience joined the chorus... "No, not just for some, but 
for everyone!"

The monitor cut to another layer of reality, where four absent Writers 
joined the song.  Captions said, "Johnny Sokko 'Come Back, Giant Robot, 
Come Back' Nominees:  Nominees:  Jennifer Whitson; Mitchell Crouch; Paul 
Hardy; Lalo Martins."  They sang... "Lord, we don't need another 

 From the RACCie Presenters' Green Room, the whole roomful joined in. 
Captions said, "Nicholas; Green Knight; Morgan Lafayette; Dragon from 
the LNHQ20 Basement; Sammy the Starfish; the Grouch from Tumblr; FAQ 
Boy; Skin of Snake; Henry Stanley Seagull; Professor Penumbra; Monica 
Jade the Vixen; Brody Dharma; some cop from Victorian London; some 
cranky woman who hired Jetbird and the Kid; The Babies Won't Save Me 
Guy; The Thespian portraying Don Juan as the World's Most Interesting 
Man."  They sang, "There are mountains and hilltops enough to climb!"

 From the Favorite Ongoing Series Nominees...  Captions said, "Bad 
Poetry Boy for Dashing Tales"; "Knockout Mouse for Mighty Medley"; 
"Brian Wells for The Girl Who Saved the World"; "Lacuna for Legion of 
Net.Heroes Volume 2"; and "Harmony Bizaadii for Tales from Ohio 
Academy".  They sang, "There are oceans and rivers, enough to cross..." 
Harmony was dressed for outlandish performing.  Fortunately Bad Poetry 
Boy let her lead the chorus.

 From the Favorite Mini-Series Nominees...  Those had gathered on 
another layer of reality.  Captions said, "Crossover Queen, representing 
Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade"; "Cosmic Power, from De Profundis"; 
and "Doom Bear, from Power-Star Comics 1984".  They sang, "Enough to 
last, 'til the end of time!"

Grudgingly the Higher Powers joined in.  Mother Time, Chaos Theory, and 
Lydia all sang, "What the world needs now, is Love, Sweet Love!"

 From the Favorite Arc Nominees...  Captions said, "The Librarian, from 
Empress of Pages"; "John Silke, from Seven 'Gainst Thebes"; and "Alice 
Queen, the Mirror, for A Suicide in Destiny City".  They sang, "It's the 
only thing that there's just too little of!"

 From the Favorite Single Issue Nominees...  Captions said, "Julie Ann 
Justice, Mighty Medley #16, The Last Story"; "Catalyst Lass, Just 
Another Multi-Writer Cascade #12, Everything Ends"; "LU-62, Coherent 
Super Stories #37, Louie and the CU-Ts"; "Ted the Time Traveling 
Atheist, Death of Trophy Wife #6, Ages of Ages".  They sang together, 
"What the world needs now, is Love, Sweet Love!"  Ted faded in and out, 
but looked especially lovely in his shimmering dress.

President Trump covered his ears as the audience sang again, "No, not 
just for some, but for everyone!"

 From the Favorite Hero/Protagonist Nominees...  Captions said, "Bad 
Poetry Boy; Merissa; Blue Boxer; Professor Penumbra".  Bad Poetry Boy 
held back again, and so did Merissa.  But the others sang, "Lord, we 
don't need another meadow..."

 From the Favorite Villain/Antagonist Nominees...  Captions said, "The 
Crossover Queen; Hokey the Wonderseal; Kid Nosferatu; Marcus".  They 
sang, "There are corn fields and wheat fields enough to grow!  Arf arf!"

 From the Favorite Supporting Character Nominees...  Captions said, "Dr. 
Fay Tarif; Jamal's Goldfish; Lydia Devin".  Lydia shrunk down from among 
the Cosmic Powers and reluctantly sang with the chorus, "There are sun 
beams and moon beams enough to shine..."

 From the Favorite New Character Nominees...  Captions said, "Marco 
Ramirez, Bad Poetry Boy; Emma Dash; Jamal's Goldfish; Jessica Hernandez, 
Cab Driver".  They sang, "Oh listen Lord if you want to know!"  Bad 
Poetry Boy started singing louder.  The speakers started feeding back.

 From the Favorite Team/Group Nominees came a mass chorus.  Captions 
said, "The Legion of Net.Heroes - Classic; The Legion of Net.Horrors; 
The Daylighters; The Eighth Hive".  They sang, "What the world needs 
now, is Love, Sweet Love!"

President Trump covered his ears and yelled, "No!  I am your President! 
You can't just disrespect me like I'm visiting your race track or 

The audience joined in as the chorus repeated.  From the Favorite 
Parody/Comedy Nominees, others joined.  Captions said, "EDM Lite for the 
Adventures of Easily-Discovered Man"; "Fearless Leader, for Bite-Size 
Tales of the LNH v20"; "Triton, for Conclave of Super-Villains the 
Animated Series"; "Gamer Boy, for LNH Cover Gallery", "Spite Grrrl (and 
Trux), from Trux and Spite Grrrl Are Dead!".  They sang into 
microphones, "What the world needs now, is Love, Sweet Love!"  And Gamer 
Boy held his Insanity Gauntlet high.  From far above, a RACCelestial 
scowled at his inability to destroy these RACCies.

 From the Favorite Action/Adventure Nominees...  Captions said, 
"Shinigami Girl, for Death of Trophy Wife"; "Hotspur, for Infirmary 
Omega"; "Janie Wells, for The Girl Who Saved the World"; "Trak, for 
Legion of Net.Heroes Volume 2".  They sang, "What the world needs now, 
is Love, Sweet Love!"  Trak was mouthing the words, and had weapons ready.

 From the Favorite Drama/Acraphobe Nominees...  Captions said, "Bad 
Poetry Boy, for Dashing Tales"; "GrimSloth, for the Gallant Appearance 
of the Total Bastards"; "The Matriarch, for Journey Into"; "Juliet 
Eisner, for Mighty Medley".  They sang, "What the world needs now, is 
Love, Sweet Love!"  Bad Poetry Boy didn't hold back this time.  The 
microphones blew up.

Back at the RACCies, President Trump cowered and fell to the floor. 
"No!  Save me, Ross Perot!"

But the RACCies kept the chorus up.  From the Favorite Story Universe 
Nominees... Captions said, "Darkhorse, for Eightfold"; "Lucky Chain 
Letter Lucy, for Classic LNH"; "Janie Wells, for The Girl Who Saved the 
World"; "Dober-Girl, for the Godlingverse"; "GrimSloth, for the 
Net.Trenchcoat Brigade". They sang, "What the world needs now, is Love, 
Sweet Love!"

 From the Favorite New Title Nominees...  Captions said, "Bad Poetry 
Boy, for Dashing Tales"; "The Wielder, for The Girl Who Saved the 
World"; "Jetbird Leone, for Jetbird and the Kid"; "Austin Allen, for The 
Truth About Fiction".  They sang, "What the world needs now, is Love, 
Sweet Love!"  Bad Poetry Boy kept pumping out bad song.  And the Wielder 
matched him with mystic power.

As if in response, one more bit of Ultimate Darkness sprouted over the 
RACCies.  Mother Time and Chaos Theory jerked in alarm.  But Lydia Devin 
said, "I think this one's okay."

 From the Darkness, the 85-year-old Ross Perot emerged!  He said, "It's 
never too late to change your mind about an unsuccessful political venture!"

President Trump took his hand.  "Arrh!  Just take me away!"

"Okay."  Perot smirked, and yanked Trump back into Darkness.  "But it 
might not work out well for your political career."

"... Huh?"

"But for *politics*, it *is* too late now!  And I should know!"  Perot 
disappeared into Ultimate Darkness, dragging Trump.


Mother Time, Chaos Theory, and Lydia Devin looked at each other.  Lydia 
said, "So what now?"

Psychovant was still hooked up.  He quacked, "I got results!"  The 
results scrolled on the arena monitors.

Chaos Theory squawked.  "Huh?  This is supposed to be a RACCies of 
Champions!  Where are the contests of champions?"

Mother Time nodded.  "It is proper to proceed.  These are still 
Champions, by the will of the Writers."  She looked high above.  Four 
Writers nodded.

** RACC20.  FAVORITE NEW WRITER:  Held in trust for new writers next year!
- Team RACCelestial 3, Team Adventurer 6!

** THE RABBIT-BREEDER'S CUP:  Scott Eiler!  RUNNERS-UP:  Drew Perron and 
Arthur Spitzer!
- Team RACCelestial 4, Team Adventurer 6!

(In the drinking contest room, Imperilus raised his glass and cheered. 
Then he fell down on the other two contestants.)


... Mother Time stopped the scroll.  "Is it proper that we simply 
suppress Drama for the remainder of this ceremony?"

Lydia Devin responded.  "$#@!.  We *already* suppressed that crap when 
the Drama Force sent their avatar.  Let's just get it over with."

Mother Time nodded.

Jennifer Whitson!
- Team RACCelestial 4, Team Adventurer 7!

Mighty Medley [8FOLD]!
- Team RACCelestial 4, Team Adventurer 8!

** RACC3.  FAVORITE MINI-SERIES:  Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That 
Will Probably Never Have an Ending [LNH]!
- Team RACCelestial 5, Team Adventurer 8!

** RACC4.  FAVORITE ARC:  Empress of Pages [8FOLD]!
- Team RACCelestial 6, Team Adventurer 8!

** RACC5.  FAVORITE SINGLE ISSUE:  Mighty Medley #16: "The Last Story" 
[8FOLD]!  RUNNER-UP:  Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will 
Probably Never Have an Ending #12, "Everything Ends" [LNH]!
- Team RACCelestial 7, Team Adventurer 8!

The Babies Won't Save Me Guy stood outside the award venue with a bunch 
of babies and a microphone.  "Well, there we have it!"

Ultimate Darkness promptly erupted and swallowed him.  His microphone 
dropped to the ground, next to the babies.

** RACC6.  FAVORITE HERO/PROTAGONIST:  TIE!  Bad-Poetry Boy and Merissa!
- Team RACCelestial 7, Team Adventurer 9!

- Team RACCelestial 7, Team Adventurer 10!

Jamal's Goldfish and Lydia Devin/The Goddess!
- Team RACCelestial 7, Team Adventurer 11!

** RACC9.  FAVORITE NEW CHARACTER:  Marco Ramirez/Bad-Poetry Boy!
- Team RACCelestial 8, Team Adventurer 11!

** RACC10. FAVORITE TEAM/GROUP:  The Legion of Net.Heroes (Classic)! 
RUNNERS-UP:  The Legion of Net.Horrors and The Daylighters!
- Team RACCelestial 8, Team Adventurer 12!

** RACC11.  FAVORITE PARODY/COMEDY:  The Adventures of Easily-Discovered 
Man [LNH]!
- Team RACCelestial 8, Team Adventurer 13!

Psychovant the Commentator Duck broke in.  "Ehh, if we're still tracking 
it, Team Adventurer has statistically locked up the RACCies of 
Champions!  But Team RACCelestial vows to take it all the way to the 
convention, because Superdelegates, err, Even Higher Powers might vote 
their way!"

The RACCelestials nodded from well above.

** RACC12.  FAVORITE ACTION/ADVENTURE:  TIE!  Death of Trophy Wife 
[LNHY] and EUROPA - Infirmary Omega [ASH]!
- Team RACCelestial 9, Team Adventurer 13!

- Team RACCelestial 10, Team Adventurer 13!

LNH, The Girl Who Saved The World, and Godlingverse!
- Team RACCelestial 10, Team Adventurer 14!

** RACC21.  FAVORITE NEW TITLE:  TIE!  Dashing Tales [LNH] and The Girl 
Who Saved the World [MISC]!
- Team RACCelestial 11, Team Adventurer 14!

Psychovant commented, "So, Team Adventurer has the higher score!  You'd 
think that's it for the contest - except RACCelestials have said they'll 
appeal!  Will they sway the Even Higher Powers?"

Four RACCelestials looked up at Four Writers...  and Psychovant 
continued his commentary.  "One shrug and three thumbs down!  There will 
always be *some* Drama!  Team Adventurer has saved the RACCies!"

 From the viewing box of Team Adventurer, Toejam propped up Password 
Lord and Nerf Girl propped up Captain Fucking Awesome.  They all said, 

                      RACCies of Champions 2015!

Mother Time announced.  She didn't just state; she announced.  "The 
RACCelestials acknowledge the will of the powers above them.  There 
shall be at least *some* Drama in the future RACCies."

Lydia Devin questioned, "But no more full-out RACCies ceremonies?"

"Indeed not.  That has been the state for most of their history."

"But there's still *some* Drama.  What's *that* mean?"

"There shall continue to be *some* adventure with the RACCies."

"Well, okay, just asking.  Not like I care, except I always seem to show 
up here."

"That is *your* choice, Junior Goddess.  *I* do not intend to attend 
here again."  Mother Time dissolved away.

Lydia shrugged... "Okaay... Closing Time!  You too, Baby God and Force 
of Slime!"

Chaos Theory whined... "The fun's over anyway."  He dissolved.

The Primodial Force of Earth Life went away too, toward Primordial 
Earth.  Go figure.

At the commenter's box, Psychovant said, "Hey, this is a cosmic ceremony 
so this is a *cosmic* mike, right?"

Lydia Devin said, "Whatever.  I'm out of here."  She dissolved.

"Well, all right!"


Inside the observation box of Team Adventurer...

Password Lord and Captain Fucking Awesome had each accepted a 
hyper-antidote for the hyper-wine they'd drank.  They sat shuddering on 
couches.  Nerf Girl and Toejam watched, as a new guest entered the box.

He was a middle-aged white-bearded man, immaculately tailored.  He said, 
in pompous accented voice with gestures in every phrase...  "I don't 
*always* visit after-parties.  But when I *do*, I make sure it is the 
most *awesome* place to visit."

Ares said, "Ah, the Thespian!  How do you like the gift of the gods?"

"Oh, my *patron*!"  The visitor bowed, and removed a 
previously-invisible mask.  His face might have been different 
underneath it, but Nerf Girl and Toejam couldn't quite tell.  And his 
clothing briefly shimmered.  But he raised, returned the mask to his 
face, and continued...  "I *vow* I shall make *great* use of it for you. 
  Sometimes even in *warlike* manner."

"Ah, you are my *new* sort of warrior then."

The Hyper-Piper raised a thumb.  "Oh, I *like* this one!"

Ares raised a thumb also.  "Two thumbs up!"


Monitors showed Presenters going to Awardees in their separate assembly 
places.  But Psychovant ignored them all, as he spoke into his cosmic 
microphone.  "Hey, Doom Bear!"

"... Yes?"

"What you doing right now?"

"I am *doing* nothing.  What I *should* do, I cannot quite figure.  It 
is as though it is Earth Year 1984, only this is also the future, only I 
haven't actually traveled through time to get here."

"That's right!  Not gonna use the word 'Gods', but you been raised! 
Welcome to 2016!"

"Oh, I'm in a future time capsule scenario?"

"... Yeah, that's it!  And now yer here!  Wanna join my team?  We're 
gonna kick ass!"

The Doom Bear shrugged.  "We'll need to discuss this Raising and this 
2016, but I do admire the chance to dominate the future."

Spanker 4 joined in.  "MERGE!"

The Doom Bear asked, "You are known as Psychovant and that other is 
Spanker 4, correct?  Is he always this simple?"

"He used to be a lot smarter!  Wanna help find out why?"

"Oh, yes, I sense his power.  I shall... assist for now."


Author's Notes...

As in previous years, I note Winners and Runners-Up.  The latter is any 
nominee who could have been a winner, had someone swapped a vote between 
first and second place.  For this RACCies of Champions, I also note 
Contenders:  any nominee above a certain cutoff of votes.  And no, I'm 
not saying what the cutoff actually is; that's just too much info.

As usual, I picked Presenters and Adventurers.  I also picked a nominee 
for every award to be The Chosen One of the RACCelestials.  I did feel 
free to let them choose my work a couple of times, but otherwise their 
choices closely resembled my ballot.  I guess by now we know how well 
that strategy worked out for Team RACCelestial.

It was proposed that with all these close contests, Donald Trump should 
steal a closely-contested award.  I instead think, Trump only steals 
things that *qualified* candidates *can't* take.  (That's the way 
President Trump-SW10 has always worked.  And he's shunned any sort of 
massive public opposition, as witness the "race track" comment which 
dates to the 2011 Indy 500.)

So, Trump got the New Writer Award!  And since he wasn't whom I or any 
sensible Higher Power would have voted for, Team RACCelestial lost that 
one!  *They* were planning for Ultimate Darkness to swallow that award. 
But a third option was, "We're sure to have New Writers next year!" 
That option actually got votes.  So Higher Powers would have lost 
anyway, as the award got put in trust for next year.

But Trump kept going...  I felt myself falling under the Apathy Force 
for having scripted Too Big a Ceremony.  With Apathy Force and Drama 
Force both operating, I felt Trump was the ideal vessel for both!  So he 
went on a rampage.  Meanwhile Drew and I agreed, we could fast-forward 
the ceremony after the Trump Intrusion.  And so...  Future ceremonies 
will each have excuses such as this to skip the full weight of the Drama 
Force, as long as I get to write them.

Speaking of my own writing...  I think I've been sparing in inserting my 
own concepts into the ceremony.  But I determined Toejam in my own 
random tradition, and I shall use him soon in another story.  I also got 
to see results, so I noticed a trend toward certain anti-hero characters 
of mine...  so they now make common cause.  And I reserve the right to 
comment as I like about my villainous SW10 character "President Trump".


Credits:  Many characters show up as awardees and random presenters. 
But these were actually submitted...

*  Mother Time, Nerf Girl, and the Dragon in the LNHQ20 Basement are 
submitted by Adrian J. McClure, from LNH20 stories.

*  Chaos Theory, the Green Knight, and Captain Fucking Awesome are 
submitted by Drew Perron.  Aside from Chaos Theory, they come from LNH 
stories.  And Drew also gets credit for Ares dialog, early in the ceremony.

*  The Primordial Force of Earth Life is submitted by Darryl Hughes and 
Monique MacNaughton, from The Continentals Comics.

*  Password Lord and Professor Morgan Lafayette are submitted by George 
Phillies, from "The Girl Who Saved the World".

*  Lydia Devin comes from Mr. Nelson, from "Correspondence With The 

*  Nicholas, Toejam, Spanker 4, the Doom Bear, Psychovant the Duck, and 
the Hyper-Piper of Hypergaard are copyright 2016, by Eiler Technical 

*  These characters were not submitted, but I could not resist bringing 
in an Ares and his guests...  Ares and the Thespian are characters of 
Joachim Vandersteen.  I use them under the standard RACCies 
arrangement...  Nothing here is binding upon your universe, but it's 
designed as though you *could* use it.  Heh.

(signed) Scott Eiler  8{D> -------- http://www.eilertech.com/ ---------

When you *are* the leader... whatever goes wrong... whether you did it
or not... *you* are held responsible. - Barack Obama

I know. - Archie Andrews

- from Archie #617, March 2011, scripted by Alex Simmons.

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