LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #20: RETCON HOUR Beta
pwerdna at gmail.com
Wed Jun 1 02:31:49 PDT 2016
On 5/31/2016 8:53 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> (The PULP Imrint was a separate imprint from the LNH
> imprint, although all the stories Jeff wrote for it were set place in the
Always kind of a weird thing, but then, the NTB did the same thing. And I
suppose LUNA is carrying on the tradition of "different perspective on the same
> And finally the sixth issue is System Corruptors #16 by Joltin' Jeff McCoskey
> and Matt "Badger" Rossi. The System Corruptors was an anthology for telling
> stories about the various villains in the Looniverse.
And still is! <3 An issue came out just a few months ago, after all. ...okay
last September BUT STILL.
> [continuity note: this story takes place during the several hours before the
> Magic game in Particle Man #15...or is it #16? Sigh. Like it matters, being
> a Retcon Hour Tie-In.]
> [cover shows a heroic, if slim, figure wearing an amber costume with green trim
> and technical-looking wristbands. His face is obscured by a question mark in
> the classic Ditko style, and the faces of the Secret Dvanders are arranged on
> either side in shocked-looking Ditko expressions.]
> Damn, but it felt good to be out of that bodycast, thought Squidman for
> the fifth time that night. He'd healed far faster than he expected to, which
> Doc Stomper attributed to general superhero resilience, even in those without
> actual powers.
Which would later become a canon part of how the Magene works in ASH.
(I feel like someone in Big Mainstream Superhero Stuff also took up this idea. I
want to say, it was suggested about mutants in some X-Thing?)
> Already he'd
> gotten back into the street network he'd started building...damn good thing
> none of his informants got any character development while he was dead.
> And what they were telling him was not good. He already knew about the
> synthetic drug Flame from Kopikat's reports, but now he knew who had invented
My favorite appearance of Flame, BTW, is in Unlikely Aliens. Great writing there.
> Maybe Khan was smart enough to keep an antidote around, to avoid Flamewars
> during testing. Or maybe he simply felt the testers were expendable, as were
> the testing sites. Damn, cursed Squidman. He'd much rather be fighting bald
> masterminds riding on top of huge robots than this.
Gosh darnit, industry trend of lazy attempts at socially relevant storytelling!
You're why Batman fights the mentally ill so often!
(Note: Dave is not being lazy here. J-just clarifying. << >>)
> If they didn't see him first. All told, it probably would have been a
> better idea to wait until *after* sunset to start trailing punks.
> Before they could get their guns out, he was in their midst, using the
> multiple-opponent style he'd learned from holotapes of Ultimate Ninja.
I love "I'm relating what I'm doing now to someone else in the shared universe
in a subtle way".
> Idly, as if detached from it
> all, Squidman wondered how uncomfortable it must be to wear leather jackets in
> this weather.
> Kid Macro has arrived.
> Kid Macro runs in, a blazing blur of green and amber!
> Kid Macro punches Thug1 in the jaw!
> Kid Macro knees Thug2 in the groin (ow!)!
> Kid Macro grabs Thug3 by the nose and judo-throws him into a wall!
> Kid Macro disarms Thug4 and clubs him on the head with his own weapon!
> Kid Macro dropped Note.
> Kid Macro has left.
> Kid Macro runs out in a hurricane of green and gold!
Incidentally, this is all a reference to MUDs, which, for those not in the know,
are text-based multiplayer games that were basically the forerunner of modern
MMOs. Many are still going to this day! <3
> "Courtesy of your friendly, neighborhood Kid Macro," read the note. "Kid
> watches too many cartoons," muttered Squidman under his breath as he put the
> note into a baggie pulled from one of his belt compartments.
Says Squidman the Animated Series over here~
> "Anyway, I ran a few tests on the note, and as far as I can tell, he got
> the paper from the LNHQ."
> "How'd you figure that?" asked Sidewinder.
> "Well, the radiation levels were consistent with being near Kirby for
> several hours, there were faint traces of cheesecake powder in the fibers...
> and the other side of the note was a cover sheet from one of Multi-Tasking
> Man's laser printer jobs," finished the Deepsea Detective with a shrug.
> Anyway, timelines are starting to unravel a bit, yeah,
> *again*, and Kid Macro mighta joined on a bad day."
> "Hmm. Could be. What kind of side-effects on NWCs?"
> "Not sure, I didn't stick around for the whole discussion. Something like
> having our personalities rewritten more frequently as we pass into the spheres
> of influence of the various WCs. Course, after the whole mess around your
> death and stuff, I'd guess you're protected from the worst of it."
By this point, Dave had definitively staked a position on screwing around with
characters that other writers were using, so I'd say the main characters of this
series were pretty darn protected.
> And as for the Crapper, he's probably too cosmic for me to do
> anything about, really.
*looks at future arcs involving Master Workload* Heh.
> Oh, hi Sig.Lad," Squidman called out as his
> fellow LNHer entered the hitherto-undefined room. And since there's no plot
> reason to define it, it'll stay undefined.
> "Hi, guys. Just came into the reading room to pick up the latest
> Net.Week." Smartass.
> "Yeah, got blindsided like an amateur. Which I am, I suppose. Sidewinder
> and I were just talking about Retcon Hour and the whole NWC problem. Although
> I think he's gone and gotten distracted again...." True enough, Sidewinder had
> picked up a magazine and was reading a *fascinating* article about slime-
> excreting starfish.
Ha ha familiar. `-`;
> "...Or he could be a retcon. I catch your drift, Squiddy," nodded
> Squidman paused, somewhat embarrassedly. "Um, please don't call me
> Squiddy. That's *his* nickname."
> "Oh. Sorry. Didn't mean to open old wounds.
Note, that's a reference to Suicide Squid, who had permanently separated from
Squidman in order to save his life.
> "So, get into any standoffs with supervillains, Officer Spacer?" asked the
Sgt. Kidd? :D (no)
> "Do I look dead and in several smoldering pieces to you, kid?"
> "Um, no?"
> "Then I haven't gotten in any standoffs with supervillains. I ain't
> special tactics and I ain't suicidal."
It's interesting; this is a pretty different perspective than I have on how
hero/villain stuff intersects with normal people stuff.
> Confiscated it from a 5th
> grader a coupla months ago. Kids carry the damnedest weapons these days. When
> I was a kid, a zipgun was something special to have in class. But NOOO, now
> they gotta be better armed than some smaller governments.
*complex thoughts on how a problem caused by NRA-led pushes to deregulate the
sale, purchase and use of guns were dealt with by becoming super-paranoid about
our own children, not that that's limited to this issue or anything*
*becomes PoliSig by accident???*
> I hope you didn't have a big dinner."
> "Because I don't want any of it splashing on me when you see the body. Or
> would you rather wait back in the car?"
> The kid's expression turned deadly serious. "My brother was shot right in
> front of my eyes in a driveby six years ago. This won't be my first corpse."
> Reed snorted. Great, the kid became a cop for revenge. Next thing you
> know he'll turn up in a cape and cowl on his nights off. "Yeah, but if it's an
> 823, it'll probably be your messiest. Even if your brother took one to the
> head." The kid said nothing, and just looked grim.
This sequence hovers somewhere between parodying grim'n'gritty cop tropes and
trying to use them straightforwardly. Dave would latter do both options better.
> "Yeah, yeah. Well, you'll want to know some of this too. Squidman ran
> into a guy called Kid Macro tonight, and suspected him of being a shoehorn,
They're worried he's the kind with teeth.
> "But that body was really Myk-El's."
> "I know. And so do you. But everyone else I've mentioned it to thinks
> I'm crazy...everyone 'knows' Squalor is really Myk-El. Time is definitely out
> of joint."
> "Why do we still remember the old past?"
I like how they're assuming they *do*. <3 To be fair, that makes more sense with
how retcons work, but...
> But Myk-El's case is definitely something we should keep an
> eye on. If whoever's changing time sees it necessary to alter Myk-El's
> background, he may have links to the initial faked-up treason. Acton Lord may
> have been a mere intermediary in this, much as I'm embarrassed to admit it."
I like how willing Dave is to play with his own plots when other things require. :>
> Sig.Lad paused, uncomfortable with broaching the next topic, but knowing he
> really should. "Have you talked to Dot lately?"
> Constellation shook his head sadly. "I don't know how I can change
> something so deep inside that *I* can't see it. I'm trying, but..."
The struggle against internalized prejudice is real.
> "Oh. But where's Lucky?"
> Particle Man and Constellation both did doubletakes at the mention of the
> name. Constellation was the first to recover, asking, "Which Lucky?"
> Kid Macro looked embarrassed for a moment. "Yours. Sorry, forgot about
> Particle Man's ex. Anyway, where is she?"
Hoo boy. ^^; In this case, this is a reference to Lucky Ball and Chain, someone
who - to simplify - Constellation held a torch for, and was killed (along with
his entire ex-team) to get at him. (Fridgey, but again, Dvandom got much better
at drama over time.)
> But before anyone could try to comfort the unknown hero, either by words
> or actions, there was a bright green flash and he was gone....
Dun dun dunnnnn...
> "Turn that dial! Press that button! Throw that lever! Get me a turkey
> "Want your onion roll toasted?" Contraption Man asked.
> "Yea, verily!"
> The buttons were pressed. The levers were thrown. The dials were turned.
> Contraption Man put a little mustard on the sandwich.
I love this kind of gag. <3
> "All hell's breaking loose!" C-E Lad said. "There's this RACCelestial
> outside who's going to move the Looniverse on the say-so of the Writers. The
> Time Crapper's back and Contraption Man's working for him. Deductive Logic
> Man's back too, and Bad-Timing Boy says the Time Crapper's going to do some-
> thing to bring back Myk-El! Also, we're out of Cool Whip."
> "My God! That's awful! I love Cool Whip!
I also love this kind of gag. <3
> "You must have been having your adventure in England when all that
> Contraption Man stuff went down."
> "Hey, my first attempt at LNH continuity! Neat!"
> "Do you know of the Shaft of Density?"
> "Yeah. It's the black private dick who's a sex machine to all the
> "You're damn right!--NO!
> "Okay. Let me get this straight. You want me to go back in time."
> "To find a Tiara."
> "The Tiara of Density."
> "Which is in the possession of Adolf Hitler."
> "Because it goes with his earrings."
> "The Tiara is also pursued by two of the Time Crapper's minions."
> "The Time Mime."
> "And Chronos the Clown."
> "You've got it!"
> "Heh. Heh heh. HAHAHAHAHA!!" laughed Decibel Dude. "Kill him!"
XD XD XD Aaaaaaa, this is nice and funny. I need to read more DD&VG.
> "You fool!" shouted Entity. "Don't you realize what will happen if the
> Time Crapper succeeds? For one thing, all the NWCs will start acting like
> complete loonies! Your partner's an NWC, isn't he?"
> "My partner acts like a loony already!" replied Decibel Dude. "I don't
> see what that--"
> Vigilante Guy strode into the room, completely covered in a long over-
> coat. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make. As of today, I no longer wish
> to be known as Vigilante Guy. From now on, you can call me...RANCH DRESSING
> "Don't worry, Nick, you can still be my partner! You just have to change
> your name to Kid Mayonnaise!"
> It is an interesting sound, to hear several dozen net.heroes blink in
And this is a higher-level humor line. :>
> "In 1944, all the heroes were fighting the war, usually out of costume."
> "They were naked?"
> "No, you idiot, they were in the army!"
Heeheehee. <3 You know, I'm not sure if the LNH has ever done a "Golden Age hero
gives up identity to join the military during WWII" plot.
> "This is the Som Yelsie timeport. Looks like things are a little crowded
> today. We'll have to wait until the time travel's not as thick."
I love this idea. :>
> "Yeah, Al, I know. I know. Look, Al, I'll talk to you later, okay?" He
> hung up. "Hey, I haven't seen you here in a while, Entity!"
> "Sammy!" said Entity. They shook hands. "What are you doing here?"
> "Ah, the usual, putting things right that once went wrong...racking up
> frequent leaper miles...what are you here for?"
Quantum Leap was a fun show.
> "So this is where time travelers hang out," said Nick. "Have you ever
> met Christopher Lloyd?"
> "We're like this," said Enetiy, crossing three sets of fingers.
> "I say!" A man with a curly head of hair, buck teeth, and a long scarf
> ran up to them. "You didn't happen to see a young fellow with blond hair and
> a sprig of broccoli pinned to his lapel walk by, did you?"
> "Er...no," said Nick.
> "Curses!" the man said. "As if it weren't bad enough those two Calif-
> ornians keep getting their booth mixed up with mine..." He started to walk
> away. "I told him, I'm the fourth, Thursday's my day to use it!"
> Here, then, is the entire log of Entity and Nick's trip back to 1944.
> ENTITY:Dammit, not on my shoes!
> Here ends the log.
*even more cackles!? am I just going to quote every joke?! they're great tho*
> "You know, I've found people who don't believe in the Fourth Wall. Some-
> times even I have a hard time believeing it."
This is a pretty awesome idea. I wonder if it got explored more.
> "Because you're going to be working with him."
> "Heh heh heh heh heh...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Another lawbreaker who must meet
> Nick and Entity looked up. There, holding a Double Luger in their
> direction, stood Nick Naime.
Dun dun dunnnnn...
> Way back in April, a cosmic being new to the LNH created an
> Elsewhirl, mainly to avoid being flamed by irate writers whose
> characters he misused while learning the ropes.
Ah, yes, the proto-Tempest.
> The Time Crapper REALLY hated it. A whole lot. It offended
> him, having very little to do with the rest of the LNH but sucking
> a portion of it's temporal energy for itself. So he decided he was
> going to fix that planet's little red wagon for it.
Man, I hate it when writers and editors can't just let a thing *exist* in a
shared universe. Your world is full of cool stuff! Deal with it! Rassin'
frassin' "oh, the team has too many members" argle bargle "makes it less
> "Yes, boss." Contraption Man fingered his newest phased
> implosion Plasma Rifle gently and hoped that someday he could shoot
> his erstwhile leader (Not realizing that this Time Crapper was
> in fact the _post_ Cry.Sig Time Crapper who was quite aware of his
> treachery in serving wReamicus Maximus) many, many times.
Wait, I thought the one CM was serving was the pre-Cry.Sig version. @.@
> They were in a fanfiction again! Surely, things were looking up.
It's also *so weird* that people kept referring to the LNH as "fanfiction" back
in the day. I mean, fiction by fans, yes, but not what that term has come to
mean, and honestly, not what it really meant back then. This was after years of
pre-Internet fic, after all, and for that matter, years of fic online pre-Web.
It's weird, is all.
> "You know, I just _love_ being casually dismissed in every
> story I appear in because I'm not powerful enough to save the day."
> Sarcastic Lad was in no mood.
It's a good point.
> "Maybe Zagyg, our Illustrious Leader, can find out
> what to do. I respect his leadership skills. Excuse me while I go
Ooooh, nice, off-the-cuff Unlikely Aliens reference - also further on in the
> THIS MUST NOT BE!" Leaving aside the oft-pointed out fact that in
> space nobody can talk on account of that vacuum thing, the voice
> intensified in volume. "THE RAC.CTRE WILL PREVENT IT!"
I love when the cosmic beings get involved. :>
> Despite his immense ghostly power, he could not halt the
> careening planet. He did slow its progress, but stopping it was
> beyond him. "I need an equal mass to brace against, and our Earth
> is the only source." He took his right hand off of the dead globe
> and reached toward the living one.
This is actually a reference to a specific Silver Age Earth-1/Earth-2 story!
> He approached the grim youth.
> "Hello young Dev-Null."
> "You stink Mister. Hey, how did you know my name?"
> "Not important. I need you to do me a favor in twelve years. Have
> your father, the jurist, wrongly execute Myk-El's parents on trumped up
> charges, then banish and disgrace Myk-El himself."
I love this running gag. :D
> Conraption Man paced the bay of the Time Crapper's secret hideout,
> blissfully unaware of the drama in deep-space that his innocent World Collider
> was causing.
This death ray is intended for peaceful purposes only!
> He'd installed all the anti-detection devices the first hour,
> chocked the former Universal Anchor in place, built the Deadmeat Earth device
> and gotten a good night's sleep. In short, he'd run out of excuses _not_ to
> work on the Chrono-Combobulator.
> Contraption Man decided to
> contact his _real_ boss for suggestions.
Dun dun dunnnnn... Wait, I need to wait until the end of the issue.
> The figure's voice was irritated. "Why am I distorted? You're
> Contraption Man, for crying out loud."
> "Time Crapper wants me to have more respect for Narrative," said CM
Puu-chan! Wait, sorry, wrong distorted mysterious figure from outside time.
> "Of course. Rather than isolate and unify the Time Stream, the Chrono-
> Combobulator disrupts Time, allowing many different, contradictory, streams to
> exist at once.
*gasp* He's invented hypertime! THE FIEND!
> "Excellent. Does he suspect?"
> "No. He's just started his Retcons. Once it gets really confusing he
> might, though.
Look, I said last time that Retcon Hour isn't *that* confusing...
> "Yes, Lord," muttered CM peevishly. He looked at the spidery machine
> and sighed. Then he opened a panel and spilled his Cappio into it. The
> spidery machine did a brief hepcat bop then returned to immobility. "Oops,"
> said Contraption Man sarcastically.
I love that Contraption Man's role in this crossover is basically "sarcastic
> Myk-El stood above the fallen figure of Ultimate Ninja. His power
> armor lay in ribbons, but the red SunStation on his back remained untouched.
> The Ginsu Katana lay broken at Myk-El's feet. "So you see Legionnaires, the
> real traitor was....Ultimate Ninja!"
> "Hooray!" cheered the Legionnaires. "Long Live Myk-El, leader of the
> LNH!" Time Crapper looked up from the retconned Ultimate Ninja #5.
> Catalyst Lass (wearing sunglasses), Domestic Lad and New-Look Lass
> surveyed the newly constructed soundstage. It was a great half-shell that
> dominated the Net.Ropolis skyline and assured plenty of tourism dollars for
> years to come.
Uh-huh, that's what they always say. >:/ Look up stats on the Olympics, people,
I'm just saying.
> New-Look Lass eyed at the Motivational Maiden strangely. "Ultimate
> Ninja? He's been in the Safe for years, ever since Myk-El revealed him to be
> the traitor. As leader, it's your duty to...."
> "_Me_ leader?" Cat asked, incredulous.
> "Yeah New-Ly, Cat ain't th' leadeh. Thet's Myk-El ya'll lookin'
Actually, this lends credence to me pointing out that there's no reason for
Sig.Lad and Constellation to think they're retcon-free instead of just
differently retconned. (Nitpick nitpick~)
> I hear he's the servant of the mysterious Mandrake
A reference to John Ostrander's well-recieved Spectre series.
> The Rac.ctre had finally halted the other earth. He sighed,
> and the sigh carried along the ether, signalling to all that one
> threat had been averted. Then he looked up.
> Another Earth was heading his way.
> And Another.
> And another still.
> And another one besides. And another. And yet another. The
> Rac.ctre pursed his lips, and in a grim, ghostly, gravely voice,
> said the only thing that applied.
> "Then shut up and listen. First of all, forget what I told you yester-
> day. I was just grasping there.
I'm torn between thinking that he should have just moved back to the day
*before* yesterday to do this, and thinking that that would make the causality
even more confusing.
> What I really wanted you to do is get Myk-El
> to go swimming in our special pool, wearing this special red diving helmet.
> Time Crapper looked up from the last panel of Ultimate Ninja #5,
> tearing himself away from the mad eyes of Myk-El. Myk-El's green hair, white
> skin and red lips were curled in a mad cackle as he destroyed the entire
> QWERTY again. "Ok Dev-Null, forget what I wanted those past two days.
> I was barking up the wrong tree with those. Instead give him this drug, it'll
> make all his hair fall out and maybe make him smart. But think how funny he'll
> look with no hair."
> "Ah-hah Time Crapper! My little ruse worked," exclaimed Contraption
> Man. "Ever since Lex Myk-El came, all us supervillains united with the LNH to
> fight him. Contraption Man is no longer evil, but your evil days are finished!
> In cross-dimensional math 101, change one of Myk-El's equations, then warn him
> about it. He'll be so arrogant he'll dismiss you and have an accident,
> confining him forever to an iron suit of armor. He won't get all the chicks
> "They caught me easily, you buffoon," said Contraption Man from the
> Safe. He was using his one phone call. "As Dr. Myk-El, he never _joined_
> the LNH. He's been their arch-villain in Alt.Veria ever since he arrived."
*rolls around laughing*
> What I really meant
> to say was: slip this serum in his drink. When he gets excited he'll turn
> into a monstrous lizard with a lisp. Boy could you make fun of him then."
> * * *
> Contraption Man handed Time Crapper his resignation. "I'm sorry Time
> Crapper. My work at the O'Myk-El Foundation is too important to interrupt for
> time and space conquering. It's Myk-El. He's just so tragic you know? A
> wonderful humanitarian mind linked to that slavering, lisping beast.
*falls on the floor, heaving with giddy breath*
> QWERTY -- you'll come back for the fun. "Ha ha. Ok Dev-Null, listen
> up. All those other gags are stinkers. Here's the one that'll get him.
> Hypnotise him and convince him he's got to eat entire suns....wait. Bad idea.
> Tell you what. Just forget I was ever here, forget all those gags, and I'll
> see you later. 'Kay? Please?"
But seriously - I love how this storyline not only undoes the throwing of Myk-El
under the bus, but makes him super important and pivotal.
> "Well, with the Chrono-Combobulator still unfinished, all those errant
> time streams you created are still present. All at once. Kind of. Net.Jersey
> was destroyed by Joker Myk-El. Golden Lord and the Classic Squad are still
> good, since they had to fight Lex Myk-El. Myk-El was leader of the LNH before
> both he and Ultimate Ninja were declared traitors. Encyclopedias list Dr.
> Myk-El as the ruler of Alt.veria. And the O'Myk-El Foundation is on the verge
> of curing revampitis. And the dvanders _still_ cleared Myk-El's name before I
> could finish this machine."
This is so great. :>
> "Look, I'm a Time Master, not a psychologist. How would _you_ make him
> Contraption Man snorted. "With a Contraption, of course...."
> Contraption Man worked nervously on the Universal Anchor. Myk-El had
> gone evil thanks to an HP SunStation clone being inserted into his armor.
> "The Time Crapper returns!"
> "But you were just here. And geez, you stink!
Wait, wait, I thought he was already serving the post-Cry.Sig Crapper... @.@;
> Contraption Man and Time Crapper turned to each other simultaneously.
> "Did you say something?"
> "Uh, no did you?"
> "Oh, uh, no. Well gotta go."
> "Right, bye."
> How long before Continuity itself collapses
> completely? How long before a trembling idiot universe dances to the insane
> discontinuous pipings of WREAMICUS MAXIMUS? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
I love how this unites "wReam as memetic force of chaos" with "wReam as guy who
caused the whole Myk-El mess in the first place". (Also, nice Lovecraft ref!)
> "Soon, my friend, soon. This scene takes place in a Retconned past.
> I assure you, once the narrative returns to the present I will open the door
> to the Looniverse.
*flails around trying to figure out the continuity*
> "So tell me again, why I should lead you here? You're not blind are
> "No silly," laughed Catalyst Lass nervously. "Really dark shades are
> just the latest thing, you know?
> Abruptly, Hooded Ho`'od win sat up, her white hospital sheets wrapped
> her body in a pure version of her former cloak.
Ooooh, nice, nice.
> Hood flared out
> suddenly. Amidst a flash of blinding light she became translucent and expanded
> nearly as large as the LoonivEarth itself, drawing an appreciative leer from
> the Rac.tre who was unaccustomed to over-endowed gals on a planetary scale.
> Her hood appeared in every Net.Heroine's mind throughout the LoonivEarth.
> <(SHE WHO MUST KNOW....WHO`'OD WIN DEMANDS TO SEE WHO SHALL BECOME THE
> SAVIOR OF NET.EARTH. WHO SHALL BECOME....
> THE RACCELESTIAL MADONNA!)>
I'm glad this version isn't quite so literal with the "madonna" thing.
> "We are The Dark Renegades. The Time Crapper sends his
> regards. TIMMY, SLAUGHTERIZE 'EM!"
> The dark and malevolent version of the beloved CAW
I always enjoyed that Dark CAW was TIMMY. The MST3k episode it's referencing was
always one of my favorites. (Even if I don't remember that much about the actual
> then the evil temporal duplicate of the Squealing Flying
> Rodent, the Shrieking Rabid Airborne Rat, leapt on top of him.
> "No...that was my alternate. I am DARK SWORD! En GARDE!"
Man, the other two have cool, creative Evil Version names and you got the
> And soon, the swordfighting began in earnest. Well, not IN earnest,
> that would most likely kill him.
Ernest Goes to Retcon Hour! (Look, I'm allowed to make silly '90s references
here if anywhere.) (Eh, let's be real, I make 'em either way.)
> Occultism Kid,
> seeing how the storyline was progressing, waved his hands and
> knocked the Rabid Rat unconscious. (He didn't cast a spell..the
> back of his hand accidentally brushed his face first.)
> "EXCELLENT, Dark Sword! Now I will send you to annihilate
> wReamicus Maximus...AND CONSOLIDATE MY GRIP ON ALL TIME!"
Wait, I thought the Time Crapper wasn't aware of wReamicus's influence... um...
> They turned to see a menacing figure backlit in the moonlight. Some
> sort of armor seemed to be half grafted to his otherwise decaying body.
> Embedded in the armor, a faux SunStation blinked insistantly. "Myk-El?" asked
> wReamhack with dread. "That can't be you."
> ("I thought he was in Alt.veria," muttered Pizza Girl. "No running an
> institute," hissed B-TBoy.)
> "No. Wh-rrrrr-e once lived Myk-El, now unlife kuk-calls me SQUALOR."
Wait, was this supposed to come before the Constellation issue? @.@;;;;; Okay,
maybe Retcon Hour *does* get kinda chaotic and hard to follow at times...
> wReamicus Maximus threw a significant-looking switch. A high-tech
> portal shimmered with unknown fields. Out of the colorful display strode
> a huge being. A glittering purple and green costume completely covered his
> features, except for the all-white eyes.
> "You see my friend? I am as good as my word. Welcome to the
> Looniverse, IMPLO."
I've always wondered if this character is a reference to the DC Implosion or what.
> IMPLO looked at wReamicus Maximus scornfully. "System Corruptors is
> cancelled," was all he said. wRM clapped his hands in delight and laughed as
> IMPLO went out into the Looniverse.
There we go! Dun dun dunnnnn...
Drew "System Corruptors is still going, dangit!" Perron
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