MISC: The Girl Who Saved the World Part 24

[George Phillies]

Perhaps I should send you all a tribute to the work of two+ decades ago. 
  The characters are Front Page Kami, King UID, and Password Lord, who 
between them can bring up the front page you wanted, and type in the 
User ID and Password.  You may correctly infer that these characters are 
unbothered by mundane considerations like property rights.

"But I can do that," Doctor State-the-Obvious-But-Missing-the-Point said.

"Well, yes," Front Page Kami agreed.

"But you knew," King UID observed.

"What you wanted to type," Password Lord noted. "We have no such 
limitations. Asked for a password, I can always type it."

"Here, watch," said Front Page Kami.  A series of front pages, largely 
in Chinese, appeared on the good Doctor's computer screen. King UID and 
Password Lord took turns typing.  The good Doctor considered that the 
really disturbing part was that they were typing in Mandarin, using a 
standard ASCII keyboard.

"There, all done," announced Password Lord.

"Good work," King UID noted.

"Yes?" the good Doctor asked, not without some trepidation.

"Those were the People's Bank of China Front pages," Front Page Kami 
explained, "And we just made a transfer from there to our secret bank 
accounts in East Net.I.Stan."

"Yes? Much?"

"Not really," Password Lord said.  "Their foreign currency holdings were 
only three trillion dollars.  Of course, we did take all of them, but we 
left records proving the transfer had been approved by their Politburo, 
so everyone would agree that nothing was wrong. There was nothing to it, 
because when the three of us work together no computer network can stand 
against us.

And, now, The Girl Who Saved The World:

“On behalf of Her Majesty’s government,” Featherstonehaugh responded, “I 
will say that we are grateful for the offer of the American government 
to support the independence and liberty of each of Her Majesty’s 
Canadian Dominions against foreign invasion, with the clear 
understanding that has already been negotiated between our Minister of 
State and Speaker Ming that at such time as we request our American 
friends to depart that they will do so as expeditiously as possible 
given the potential need to assist the sick and injured, extinguish 
fires, and support the detention of foreign prisoners of war pending 
fair trials and prompt executions. Potential needs were in fact 
discussed at some length; we are quite sure that the British Empire and 
the American Republic are in complete agreement on the notion of 
potential needs and expeditious withdrawal. Also, Her Majesty’s 
government views the independence and security of other nations in the 
Americas to be a critical matter for the security of the British Empire; 
there is no possibility that Her Majesty’s government would consider 
being responsible for the consequences if the independence and security 
of any of these nations were to be infringed upon. Having said that, I 
believe that Ambassador Davout had signaled a desire to speak, perhaps 
even before I did, but he graciously offered to allow me to speak first.”

“On behalf of his Most Terrible and Serene Majesty, the Sixth Napoleon, 
I must most emphatically indicate that the French Empire categorically 
and completely rejects the suggestion that foreign powers are entitled 
to besmirch the name of the Empire and the honor of the Legion of Glory 
by claiming a right to enter our territory and attack our citizens, as 
though we were unable to protect ourselves.”  Davout closed the case 
from which he had been reading his remarks. The Legion of Glory, 
Buncombe, thought, was the French Military Persona team.

Holmgren, fearing what was about to happen, nonetheless was obliged to 
recognize Ambassador Smoking Frog. “The Living Sun, The First Speaker,” 
Smoking Frog said, “has anticipated the outrageous statements of the 
American Ambassador. The right of the League of Nations to take 
possession of the Namestone is beyond question or doubt.  It is totally 
forbidden and contrary to the League Charter, the votes of this body, 
and the votes of the World Council for any nation to take any other 
stand.  Furthermore, it is the privilege and duty of the persona leagues 
and military forces of every nation of the world to enforce these votes 
anywhere on the planet without begging leave of the local governments, 
all of which are entirely subordinate to the League of Nations and 
therefore must be brought to heel if they fail to obey the League’s 
righteous edicts. The people of the world may be assured that so soon as 
the Bearer is located, the Jaguar Knights and the Eagle Legion will 
descend upon her, strip her of the Namestone, and prepare her to be food 
for the Gods, or such other form of extended dying as this body may 
choose to specify.”

Holmgren steeled himself for what would undoubtedly be the extended 
remarks of most of the remaining ambassadors, some saying that their 
countries were entitled to pursue the Namestone wherever it was found, 
and others saying that there was no such entitlement. On one hand, he 
considered, only a minority of Great Powers would claim their right of 
intervention.  On the other hand, China and the IncoAztecan Empire would 
both claim the right of intervention.  Alas, they were probably the two 
most populous nations in the world, and both of them were vigorous about 
seeking out and training persona talents wherever found. Holmgren told 
himself that he had wisely packed several large flasks in his vest 
pockets, and suspected that very soon he would be managing to drain them 
of their fine beverages, all of which had begun their lives as grain, 
variously American, Scots, and Russian in extraction.

At long last, the argument over foreign intervention ran out of steam. 
“What do we tell our citizens?” Lars Holmgren finally responded prayerfully.

“Perhaps,” Buncombe said, “you could tell the people of the world that 
you eventually reached this meeting’s agenda.”