MISC: The Girl Who Saved the World, Episodes 21 and 1
Drew Perron
pwerdna at gmail.com
Mon Jan 18 18:41:59 PST 2016
On 1/10/2016 11:22 PM, George Phillies wrote:
> You are about to see a drastic change in the branching time lines trope.
> The discussion of Liouville and Gibbs is real physics.
Oooooh! Fascinating.
> After Episode 21 comes Episode 1A. I decided to interchange the first
> two chapters so we open, immediately, with the lead character.
Excellent! :D
> Some parents would have been scandalized
> that I was brewing coffee, worse, cocoa-tinged coffee.
Underage caffeine drinking is one thing, but *mocha*!?
> Massachusetts is even more confusing. There are
> 12 or 15, I tend to forget, different ancient advanced civilizations
> whose traces may be found near Massachusetts Bay. Most of them left at
> least some reasonably detailed historical records, not to mention
> observations on the world around them. Seven left observations on the
> moons of Jupiter and Saturn and Uranus, observations that apparently
> make no sense. They had the moons in the wrong places. You’d think they
> couldn’t see the sky.
...huh. o.o Fascinating. It feels like the implication is that this is a world
with many different histories melded together.
> The famous story is the fellow who traveled
> in time to just before the maiasaurs started their march to
> intelligence, smelled a flower by shooing away a butterfly, and when he
> returned to the present there had never been a dinosauric civilization.
DINOSAURIC CIVILIZATIONS. :D
> Episode 1A
Looking good!
> I awoke at half past dark. To put it mildly, I hurt.
Yes, this is a very strong opening. <3
> Then I remembered where I was. Not safe at home, the home I grew up in.
> I was in my own house, the one I bought. I don’t know why Mum threw me,
> her only daughter, out of the house those six months ago, leaving me
> with the money in my pocket and everything I owned locked in a
> U-Store-It bay. I’d come home, finding home gone, Mum vanished, and a
> pair of U-Store-It keys anchoring a really short note. The note told me
> to get lost and take care of myself. Not in my worst nightmare had I
> ever expected Mum to dump me onto the streets. But Mum was right. I can
> take care of myself. I just wish I didn’t have to, not with no advance
> notice.
Ooooooh. o.o Okay, I don't think it'd been put together in such a clear way
before. This is Very Useful Backstory. Fascinating.
> Then
> I remembered. Atlanticea. It was the most wonderful memory in the
> world. Or would have been, if everything didn’t hurt so much.
That's really good. <3
> The Namestone was
> the wonderful birthday present I gave myself, a couple months late for
> my twelfth birthday, almost as good a present as my ponies. The ponies
> were a better birthday present, not to mention I gave them to me a
> couple months before my twelfth birthday.
The second sentence here feels redundant - the first provides the proper
contrast, I think ("The ultimate power item in the world was almost as good a
present as ponies").
Drew "pony power" Perron
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