LNH: Classic LNH Adventures #30: Retcon Hour Odds and Ends

[Drew Perron]

On 8/24/2016 10:07 PM, Arthur Spitzer wrote:
> In this weeks reposting of stuff you can find in the eyrie archive
> https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/
> we have the eleventh chunk of Retcon Hour.

Ah, capital. :o

> For the 26th issue Peter "Tick" Milan gives us Decibel Dude
> & Vigilante Guy #0 where the duo find themselves on an
> alter.net Looniverse gone wrong.

Ah! Do we actually get to see the Reverseworld adventure? :D

>    Where once, there had been a large plaque, proclaiming "Legion of
> Net.Heroes Headquarters," there was now a wooden sign written in blood.
> "Legion of Net.Villains. Piss off."

WE DO. :D Innnnnnteresting. That implies that the morality reversal is a 
*change* rather than inherent...

>    "Red...Redneck?!" they both asked.
>    "Shore, yew knew that, dintcha?" asked Redneck, belching loudly.
>    "Wow," whispered Vig, "Here on reverse-world, the upstanding hero called
> Rebel Yell is a poorly constructed stereotype from 'Deliverance!"

Heeheehee.

> The putrefying remains of Deja Dude adorned the outside of
> Ultimate Ninja's office.

Ewwwwg.

>    "This is strange...this isn't the reverse world from 'Mirror, Mirror' or
> Flame Writer," asked Vig.
>    "I don't think there's a Captain Oblivion on either of those worlds.

*Man* we have a lot of Evil LNHes.

>    "Silence, whelp! Is it not obvious? I'm eliminating all these divergent
> timestreams. When you're going to be supreme ruler of a universe, you like
> things neat and tidy. So I'm eliminating all those annoying elsewhirl
> events <blip>; this `Deadmeat' Earth <blip>; and all the other annoying
> divergent earths I can! <blip> <blip> <blip>
>
>    Actually, it wasn't <blip>. It was more of a slow fade.

Ah! :D I was wondering if anyone was going to do anything with this.

>    "My powers are drained...how about you?" asked D-Dude.
>    "Oh, sure, if you think a bottle of ranch dressing will scare them off."

Heeheehee

>    They turned and saw her for the first time. She was the doppleganger for
> the Looniverse's Whip, but much changed. She was wearing lingerie, for one.
> She was skinny and jittery. Her face bore many scars.
>    "My God...what--"
>    "You could say I'm Ultimate Ninja's special friend."

awwwwww :< jeez

>    "We don't have time for this," shouted Vig. "Your entire world's about
> to be destroyed!"
>    "Perhaps. But I will have the satisfaction of seeing you go to your
> death first!"

That's a heck of a Villain Ball.

>    For a moment, Whip was surprised she hadn't gone too. She gazed out the
> window at the onrush of nothingness.
>    "Ah, well," she said. "Could be worse, I guess."

awwwwwwwwwwwww

>    And with that, the world ceased to exist.

...but was eventually brought back after Continuity Champ Jr. restored 
everything, right? << >>

>    "So I didn't see any evil versions of us when we were there."
>    D-Dude thought about that for a moment. Then he ran for the phone.
>    "Samantha, honey? Hi. It's Nick. Tell me...have I been acting strangely
> lately?"

ooooooh. :o

>   Doctor Stomper's next transparency showed a series of straight lines
> labelled 'Looniverse', 'Mirror Looniverse', 'Reverseworld', 'Mirror
> Reverseworld', 'Wackiverse' and 'Acroverse'.  "We see here schematically
> how the varient Looniverses existed in parallel.  However..."  Doctor
> Stomper produced his next transparency.  "If we go back far enough we
> see that there was originally _one_ Looniverse with the various
> alternate Looniverses diverging from the original Looniverse at
> different times in Looniversal history."

I'm not a big fan of these oversimplified attempts to explain How The Cosmology 
Works - real superhero universes tend to want enough flexibility so they can go 
off in a lot of different directions, and the LNH several orders of magnitude 
moreso, but...

>   "Thus we avoid the issue of what's real and what's not real: all
> realities are equally real, the only difference being that some
> realities are far removed from what we, ourselves, perceive as
> reality.

...this is a useful thing to emphasize.

>   "Wow... that's really deep," said California Kid.
>   "You mean you're actually following this?" Kid G asked.
>   "No... but it _sounds_ really deep."

Heeheehee.

>  On
> the small scale, there is _no_ continuity: time and space are quantised
> into individual, discrete 'issues' and it is only when we go to the
> continuum limit and establish a history that we actually have
> established continuity.  The effect of Retcon Hour was, then,
> essentially to change the scale at which continuity is perceived:
> suddenly the entire history and future of the LNH was up for grabs...
> so to speak... as though nothing had been established.

And I think this is a pretty neat idea.

Drew "but Dave could've done it better" Perron